"So, how's life?" Jun's smiling face lit up my phone screen as I sat back on Mr. Paul's chair, guarding the shop on a Monday morning. I could almost hum at my brother's question, because, well, how was my life? It was great.

See, Brian's plan of a "day by day" turned into a "week by week," and before I knew it, a month had passed. I spent my nights tangled in Brian's arms—at least, I did when I could. And when morning would come and he needed to leave, I'd pout like a sad puppy as I watched him walk out of my front door.

"Yo, Bubbles," Jun laughed as he tried to grab my attention, "you're glowing."

A car zoomed by on the street outside. I watched it honk at a person trying to cross the street before I looked back at my phone. "Am I?" I asked Jun as I giggled. "I mean...."

"What is it?" Jun was leaning against his car steering wheel. We'd made it a habit to talk before he clocked into work. "Tell your big bro what's up."

"Well..." Brian and I never put "relationship" over whatever it was we were doing, so I couldn't just tell Jun, "Oh, hey, I have a boyfriend now."

Besides, I didn't like the idea of possibly being attached to Brian's arm like a golden trophy. Not that I thought he'd do it, but that was the sort of thing Mario would do... and it left a sour taste in my mouth. Being paraded around like some collectible doll... I'm not an object.

"Earth to Kay?"

Brian's perfect anyway.

"Hellooo?"

He wouldn't do anything like that. I trusted Brian. And that's why I didn't question his phone calls or the night he wouldn't come upstairs. Everyone had issues, secrets, and I told myself to take Rianne's advice; just leave it all alone.

Because he's a great guy. Can't let his past define him.

"Yes?" Glancing back at my phone, giving Jun my full attention. "Life's great. Really great. Fun. Lively."

Jun's brows shot up high. "Sis," he said, laughing, "who's the guy?"

My jaw dropped, and my mouth hung open. Was it that obvious? I could've been glowing because of the sunlight outside. The reflections from passing cars. But... "A guy?"

Jun pursed his lips, amused. "Kay."

The shop's door opened, the little bell dinging over its top. Moving my phone aside, I looked up, ready to greet the person who had walked in. But my expression changed from the chipper customer service smile to a grin, one that spread ear to ear.

"Brian."

Brian smiled at me as he stood in front of the counter. His white tee absorbed the sunlight, making him angelic, in a way. And of course, his eyes absorbed the light, too. When he looked around the shop, at the shelves lined with snacks and canned goods, I couldn't help but swoon.

And Jun, still waiting on our video call, called to me, "Hello, Kay? What's going on?"

I fumbled for a second, looking at Brian as his eyes met mine. I reached for my phone like an awkward teen and quickly turned to hide it. Bringing it to my face, I looked at Jun on the screen and whispered, "The guy is here."

"Oh?" Jun's eyes widened as he tried to look around me. I fought to hide my surroundings, keeping just my face in view. Jun couldn't help but laugh, "Can't I say hi?" he asked. "I'm your brother."

"I know, I know," I whispered. Behind me, I heard Brian approach the counter. "But, but, you know, I—"

"Who's that, Kay?" Brian's voice, polite yet amused, was close to my ear. I turned my face just enough to see he'd leaned over the counter to look at the phone. And because I'd moved, he had a clear view of the screen, and Jun could see his face. Waving at my brother, Brian said, "Hey."

"Oh." Jun laughed and waved back. "Hello, hello, I'm Jun," he said. "Kay's brother. Who are you?"

"I'm Brian." Brian laughed and grinned. "I think you guys are talking about me. Hopefully, good things?"

I turned again to block the camera's view. I could see how red my face was on the camera. "Okay, okay," I said to Jun, "I'll go now."

"Ay, yo, I was just going to talk to the guy!" Jun pushed back against his car seat, complaining while he laughed. "Can't your brother get to know your boyfriend?"

"Ohhhhh." Brian turned, leaning his side against the counter. When I glanced back at him, he was grinning. "I get it, no worries," Brian said to me before glancing at my phone. To Jun, he said, "No worries, man, it was cool to say hi. Next time we'll talk."

Jun repositioned his phone to get a better look at us. "There better be a next time—" That was meant for me. "—But both of y'all have a good day, okay? I won't argue. I know how she is."

"It's cool," Brian said, chuckling. "Me too."

I would not let them gang up on me. They weren't even in the same room and it was happening. It was nice that their initial interaction was simple and polite, but no, no, no—no teasing little Kay.

"Bye Jun," I blurted into my phone, "love you."

Jun laughed. "Love you, too, sis."

Ending the call, I pressed my phone into my pocket and fully turned around to face Brian. I leaned against the counter just like he did. "Why are you here?" I asked him. "I would've been at work in an hour."

"I know." Brian looked around the shop again before glancing at me. "But I thought I'd scoop you up and we could walk together. Nothing wrong with that, right? And besides," he smiled, "looks like you missed me if you were going to talk to your brother about me."

"I, um..." I felt my cheeks redden. My heart thumped in my chest. It wasn't that I wanted to just outright tell my brother, I was just an awful hider. I couldn't hide my happiness, my heart, and according to Jun, it was all over my face.

Looking down, I slid my finger over the counter, "I know, I—"

The door chimed again. Brian didn't tear his eyes away from me, but I took mine off of him. Readying myself to greet the next customer who had walked in, I wiggled my shoulders to calm down and smiled. But when I saw the man who had walked in, my smile changed. Not in a bad way, more of an ah, it's you again.

"Afternoon." The older man with his dark sunglasses stood by the door. He looked at me with a smile, not moving. I'd gotten used to him stopping by, visiting Mr. Paul. The two of them had some kind of business arrangement and I wasn't one to intervene. Besides, after our initial meeting, he wasn't all bad. Just didn't say much.

I also didn't know his name...

"Afternoon, Mr. Henrickson," I said, then pointed at the back. "Mr. Paul's in the backroom. I think he was expecting you. So, go ahead."

"Sure thing," the man said. Nodding once at me, he started to walk past us but stopped when he stood just near Brian. He lowered his head to glance down at him. His lip twitched. And I thought I heard him grunt.

Pushing off the counter, Brian stood and looked back at him. The two of them held the longest stare I'd ever seen. I wasn't sure what went on in their silent, almost aggressive conversation, but I was the uncomfortable one.

Looking at both of them, I gulped. "Do you guys know each other? Old friends or something?" I asked.

And at the same time, without blinking, and as though they had planned it, they both said, "No."

All righty then...

"Mr. Paul!" I called out to the one person I knew could slice through the tension with a knife. And like the savior he was, Mr. Paul appeared from the back with a smile on his face. I returned the same smile, even though mine was meh. "You have a visitor."

"Oh, yes, yes." Mr. Paul motioned for the older man to walk inside. As the man entered the room, Mr. Paul glanced at me, still smiling. "Thanks for guarding the front, Kay. I can take care of it from here."

"Okay," I said, placing my hands behind my back. Moving from around the counter, I reached from my purse hanging on a hook and walked towards Brian's side. He grabbed my hand before I could reach for his. And his fingers gripped mine a bit hard, too. Weird.

When I tried to look up at his face, Mr. Paul pulled my attention. "It's nice to see you," Mr. Paul said to Brian. "Both of you have a great day."

"We will," Brian said, but his voice was dry. Distant in a way.

I had no choice but to clear my throat. "Thanks, Mr. Paul!" I pulled Brian towards the door, waving at my landlord. "See you soon!"

|||

Just like Rianne had said, I left it alone. All alone. I didn't want to bring up the awkward tension from the afternoon. Brian had been silent the entire way to the coffee shop. And I understood, in a way; sometimes I'd see someone, or something, that took it all out of me. Maybe that guy did that to Brian. Just because cities were big didn't mean you'd never bump into someone you didn't want to see.

Like Jade. I loved her. Possibly my new best friend. But Brian? He didn't like her. Well, maybe not that he didn't like her, more so she didn't give him a chance to just be. While I was okay with Brian's random phone conversations, secrets, and all that jazz, Jade couldn't help but think it was a warning.

And that's why sometimes she'd linger at the shop close to closing on Saturdays, just to make sure all was okay. Normally, I didn't mind, but after what happened earlier in the day, I wasn't sure if it was the best thing to end the night with.

But I couldn't just kick her out. She was a customer. Late-night coffee was her excuse. And to milk the time, she ordered two cups, so when the clock said 8:55 P.M, she was still drinking one, watching Brian.

"He always has a red towel," Jade murmured into her cup as I picked up her crumpled napkins and cleaned the chair in front of her. "I mean, always with this red towel, Kay. Did you buy it?"

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, fixing the sugar and cream canister on her table. "No, Jade, he's always had the towel."

Jade's eyes moved from Brian, who worked the register with the last customer, over to me. "Maybe an ex bought it?"

"Maybe—" I took Jade's cup from her hand, though she complained. "—he likes red."

Jade's pout didn't stop me as I went around and tossed her cup in a trash can. "Like's red? Nothing else in here is red. Everything's like blue or green or—" She poked the table. "—brown."

"That's wood," I said, lifting a brow.

"Can't have green tables?" she countered.

"Green wood? What is this? A kid's book?" I went over to the register and handed Brian my small trash bag, so he'd put it behind him. He took the second to look at me, then at Jade, but I shrugged, silently letting him know that she was just weird.

When really, she was being so overly protective; it was annoying.

"Closing up shop, Jade," Brian called to her. "I've got three muffins I've got to toss. Want to take them home?"

Sometimes I felt like Jade didn't like Brian, but whenever he offered food, she was right there. Before I could even blink, she was already at my side with a big, excited smile. She stuck both hands out in front of her. "Doggy bag 'em," she said.

"Sure thing. Anything for Kay's friend." Emphasis on "friend." He drew out the word.

As he disappeared into the back for a foam tray to place the muffins inside of, Jade took the chance to lean in close and whisper in my ear. "He's nice, but there's something. I'll figure it out."

There was a lot to figure out, sure. But to act like this was a criminal investigation? Come on. Chuckling, I shook my head and leaned against the counter. "You're acting like he's a murderer."

"Maybe?" She tapped her chin. "He's pretty scarred up."

I opened my mouth and shut it fast when he came back. He handed her the tray but didn't see her point at his scars with her darting eyes. I couldn't even walk her to the door after that; I only hugged her and let him do it. Leave it up to Jade's overly active mind to make me think of questions I shouldn't bring up. I couldn't even defend him, because I didn't know why he had them all. It looked like a horrible fight, and yet, he acted like they weren't there.

It was probably because of some high self-confidence, but still...

He acted like a lot wasn't there. As though there wasn't a single problem in his life. But sometimes I saw through his cracks. His grumpy afternoons, frustrating phone conversations. I couldn't help but feel like there was more to his life than lively scars, and not all of his old wounds were placed on his skin.

"Babe?" Brian locked the door and lowered the blinds before looking at me. "Does your friend have to stay in so late and interrogate me with her eyes? It's weird."

"Huh?" Damn, he noticed? She was pretty obvious.

Brian laughed. "I get it. She's your friend, she's trying to protect you." He crossed the shop to swoop an arm around my lower back and pulled me close to his chest. "But I'm a good guy, I promise."

"I know," I said, leaning into his touch. I couldn't help but stare at his chin.

"So..." He bit his lip and shook his head. "Why are you interrogating me, too?"

"I—uh." Hm. I tried to laugh it off, pushing myself out of his touch and against the counter. I wiped it down with my regular white towel before looking at him. I couldn't lie to him, because I was an awful liar, so I started with some half-truths. "She thinks you're a murderer."

His face went flat, serious. Why? It was a silly thing.

"What?" he asked.

"A murderer." I held my towel up as though it were my defense flag. "She works at a bookstore, Brian, so you know she's a writer. She's probably cast you as a villain in one of her books."

"But—" He followed me as I went around the counter. "—a murderer?"

Why does it bother him so bad? "It's the scars." I tried to laugh it off as I touched his skin. "Makes you look like those European Assassins in all of James Bond's movies. So dangerous."

When I poked his chin, he grabbed my wrist, not in a hard way, but one that told me to stop. I was confused because it was a joke. It's not like he was a murderer... right?

"What's with you?" I asked, pulling my hand free. "She's harmless."

Brian stood by as I locked the cabinets and shut off the lights from the display cases. Like a trained habit, I tapped every button that shut down the stereo, powered down the main lights, and left the shop with its dimly lit interior. I did everything he did, including organizing the registers and sorting through them. When I finished, he hadn't moved.

Sadness just sank deeper into his eyes.

"What?" I tossed my towel against the counter. "Why does that bother you so much?"

"Kay, I—" It was that again, that I want to tell you something, but I can't body language he had. He stepped away from me, dropped into one of the seats, and dipped his head between his legs. A part of me was frustrated because it shouldn't be that bad; because he never made it seem that bad. Yet, looking at him, the rest of me felt horrible. What happened to him?

I went to him, knelt in front of him, and touched his knee. "Brian?" With one finger, I lifted his chin to make him look at him. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

He paused for a moment, breathing deeply. "What do you see when you look at me?" he asked.

I paused. There was a lot I saw in him. I saw life, happiness, and joy. A man who could stand up to anything, anyone; such vigor, and strength. Looking at him, I saw someone I couldn't stop thinking about, someone I dreamt about. Someone who made me smile just by blinking an eye.

"I see you," I said, giving him a small smile. "A great guy. A beautiful man."

I thought what I said would make him smile; it didn't. He glanced at the shop's front door before looking back at me. "Do you want to know how I got these scars?" he asked.

My heart sped up with anticipation and screamed inside my soul, "YES," but I only nodded slowly.

He took in a breath, deeper than the long one he just let out. "Okay." He licked his lip and rubbed his neck. "Six years ago, I lost someone close to me. Told them some really awful things, because they always thought they were better than me. We were at a bar when I did, and we already had too much to drink, so their reaction was to run out into the street in the middle of the night."

I sat back on my legs, listening.

"I didn't follow them, but I yelled at them until they left the door..."

"Okay." I bit my lip. "So, how—"

He lifted a finger and lowered his head. He needed a minute. "I left the bar two hours after that, went home, and crashed as though nothing happened. The next morning..."

His voice trailed off as he covered his mouth. The white of his eyes turned pink. Tears rimmed the edges. For the first time, I saw the pain he held on the inside spill out onto the surface. For the first time, I felt like an ass.

It was easy to just not ask questions. "Hey, hey, hey," I tried to console him, sliding in between his legs to grab his chest. My hands went up to his face.

But he shook his head. He needed to keep going."I got a call that my friend had been robbed at night and stabbed. They died, Kay. They left at night, drunk out of their mind, and all I'd done was yell at them instead of leave with them... I wasn't there to protect them..."

"Brian, I—"

Brian shook his head again, sucking in his tears as he finally looked into my eyes. "I hopped in my car and tried to speed down to the hospital, but I hadn't slept off the alcohol. I was drunk, emotional, and screaming... all the way into my car went right into a light pole." He took my hand, pressing my fingers against his chin. "I went through the windshield. I could've died. Instead, I was out for four months."

The tears slid down his face as tears welled up in mine.

"I missed their funeral, their burial; I missed it all. Because I was in a hospital bed, I was blamed for everything because I couldn't defend myself. It forced me to carry everyone else's guilt, on top of my own. I'm not a murderer, Kay..."

I let him grab me like he did that night. He lifted me onto his lap and held me close. He pressed his face into the crook of my neck, and I held him there. I let him take what he needed from me, and now I knew what he meant before. Had the man in Mr. Paul's shop reminded him of his past? What Jade had said was just the icing on his painful cake, right?

I pressed my lips against his forehead. "Brian, it's okay. This isn't your fault. What happened wasn't your fault."

He pulled my head to him, pressing our foreheads together. I closed my eyes because he closed his. "It took me so long to move forward, to just leave it in the past." His hand went up to my neck and around my chin. "I wanted for so long to just forget and live day by day... until you."

My eyes snapped open as he slowly pulled his head away.

"Brian..."

All I wanted to know was about his scars, about his past, and yet I felt I'd learn so much more. It was on the tip of his tongue, sliding onto his lips in shades of beautiful colors I couldn't see, but hear. Reds and purples, passion and love, all became clear as he opened his mouth to speak.

Another tear fell down his cheek.

"I'm not good at this..." he whispered, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth.

With my thumb, I pulled it out. I wanted him to say it; I wanted to hear it. "What is it?" I whispered back.

"I..." He kissed my thumb, then my hand, before tilting his head towards mine to hover just over my lips. "I love you."