C H A P T E R  17

❛  games we play ❜

QUINN

     HOWEVER MUCH QUINN DISTRUSTED WOODBURY, she had to admit the showers were a blessing. The moment the warm water touched her back a satisfied sigh left her lips. It was almost funny how an apocalypse made you miss the simplest of things. Like the taste of chocolate, the softness of a pillow and a lovely warm shower.

After a few minutes she forced herself to turn the water off, remembering the Governor's words about showering for too long. Grabbing a towel she dried herself before putting her own clothes back on. She'd refused to wear the new clothes that had been readied for them, instead content with washing her own and wearing those. She couldn't exactly say why she'd done it. Maybe she simply feared making these people think she actually wanted to stay here.

She turned in a small circle around the room, checking if she hadn't forgotten anything, a habit she had picked up everytime they broke up their camp in the woods.

Andrea and Michonne had already left the room, which didn't surprise Quinn. It was almost twelve o'clock when she finally woke up. Her body needed rest, and she did feel surprisingly well. She could only hope the fever wouldn't return again and the pills that the doctor gave her would actually work.

She made sure she closed the door behind her before making her way down the hall. As she turned around the corner however a startled gasp left her lips as she almost walked right into a much taller person. It was Merle.

'Look at that, our patient, up and about,' he said, looking down at her. 'I was just looking for ya.'

Quinn frowned. 'Why?'

Her suspicion didn't go unnoticed by Merle but instead of letting it bother him, he barked a laugh, as he seemed to do about everything. 'Governor wanted to know how ya were doing. If ya needed any more of them medicine.'

'I'm fine,' she replied curtly before making her way around him. To her frustration, however, the man followed her.

'You know, I was just wonderin' why someone this damn sick ain't takin' their medicine.'

She took a deep breath to calm herself, not feeling like continuing the conversation with him, she didn't owe him any kind of explanation. But for some reason Merle was set on getting an answer. Probably because the man wasn't used to not getting what he wanted.

'What's a man gotta do to make conversation around here, ya'll?'

She turned so abruptly that Merle almost walked into her. She hated the smirk that had appeared on his face, wishing she could just hit him to get rid of it.

'I'm fine, that's why,' she spoke, speaking each word clearly and hoping that was enough for him to realise she truly meant it and if she didn't, she had no interest in discussing it with him. Turning back around she started walking away, only to stop in her tracks when he started talking again.

'You know, I saw the look on yer face when the doc wanted to put ya on that drip. You ain't afraid of needles.'

Slowly she turned back to him. 'No, I'm not. You said that. I never confirmed it.'

He took a step closer to her, making her clench her fist in case he would do something she wouldn't like. 'We've got enough of the stuff, and ya know, if you and yer hot buddies would choose to stay in our humble home, you're welcome to share.'

'What stuff?' Quinn whispered, her heart beating wildly in her chest. She knew exactly what he was talking about though and it scared her to her very core that he knew she was a user by simply looking at her. That part of her past was behind her and she wasn't willing to ever revisit it again.

'Ya know,' Merle simply stated, holding his belt with his one hand.

Quinn slightly tilted her head. 'And you'll only give it to me if I decide to stay?'

Merle didn't reply, his expression didn't change, but that was all the confirmation she needed. Taking a step closer to him, she narrowed up at him. He was at least two heads taller than her, but she tried to put as much confidence in her voice as she could anyway.

'It ain't happening.'

And without waiting for a reply she turned on her heels and finally managed to get away from him. There didn't seem to be enough distance to shake her anger though. With clenched fists she marched down the street in search of some distraction from his disgusting attempt at doing...something with her.

Luckily she was quick to spot Andrea and Michonne. The two of them were seated around a table on a small terras that was set up in front of a makeshift restaurant. A waste of space and resources if you asked her.

'Morning,' Andrea smiled as Quinn took a seat beside her. 'How are you feeling?'

'Better,' she admitted, returning her smile.

'Good,' Michonne said, her urgent tone taking Quinn's full attention. 'Because we're leaving soon.'

Quinn crossed her arms over her chest and nodded. She couldn't agree more. 'Do you have a route in mind?' She asked, nodding at the map spread out on the table.

'We should try the coast again. The ocean on one side, maybe we find a boat, look for an island.'

She gave an approving nod. That had after all been the plan from the beginning and it was still the plan she thought would work best.

'And if the coast isn't safe?' Andrea asked.

'Keep moving,' Michonne shrugged.

'Let's say the coast is safe,' Andrea said, making Quinn frown at the blond woman. 'Then what do we do? Grow old, live off the sea by ourselves?'

'Rather take my chances out there than stay here,' Michonne replied.

'Agreed,' Quinn nodded.

'Because your gut tells you there's something off about this place?' Andrea said, looking between Michonne and Quinn. 'About the Governer?'

Michonne looked up from the map, her usual scowl firmly in place. 'It's kept us alive this long.'

'That's true,' Andrea admitted.

Quinn couldn't help but feel relieved the argument was short-lived. The sooner they got their act together, the sooner they could get the hell out of here. She leaned closer to the table and followed Michonne's fingers as she traced a possible route they could take.

'At least let me say goodbye to the Governor and thank him for his hospitality,' Andrea broke the silence again.

Looking up from the map, her gaze met Michonne's. She could read worry there, worry for how close Andrea was getting with their supposed "saviour". But they both knew she could take care of herself and so they nodded at her, knowing she wouldn't have taken no for an answer anyway. Andrea offered them a small smile before getting to her feet and making her way down the street.

Quinn got to her feet as well. 'I'm gonna get some breakfast,' she said. 'I'll see you later.'

Michonne's eyes flickered up at her. 'More like lunch,' she said dryly.

Quinn quirked a brow. 'Was that a joke, Michonne Hawthorne?'

Quickly the woman placed her scowl back in place. 'Don't get used to it,' she mumbled before turning her eyes back down to the map.

Shaking her head with a small smile playing at her lips, Quinn turned away and made her way down the streets of Woodbury. As she walked her smile was quick to fade away though. Andrea's actions were confusing her. It seemed as though her loyalties were quickly switching from their small group to the place that "rescued" them. She felt as if she was losing all grip on their once so strong bond. Part of her blamed the Governor but deep down she knew it was more than that. She and Michonne wanted to leave and both of them were unable to listen to whatever Andrea had to say about it. That wasn't right either but Quinn couldn't bring herself to stay in a place that made her hands itch for her daggers.

'Ya know I was thinking of takin' Tim and Martinez out on a scouting mission later on this week,' a familiar voice cut through her thoughts.

Frowning, Quinn looked up, her eyes landing on both Merle and the Governor standing on top of the wall at the end of the street on her left. Her frown became deeper when she saw the Governor was playing golf, sending the balls flying far over the wall. Leaning against a lantern she looked out on the street, not exactly knowing why she was listening but feeling like she would miss something if she didn't. She wondered what their host was like when he wasn't pretending to be friendly to his new guests.

'For what?' The Governor asked.

'Blondie,' Merle replied, 'she said my brother was still alive.'

Quinn couldn't help but frown at that. She hadn't thought Merle actually cared about what Andrea had to say when they first came in.

'Eight months ago,' the Governor said, placing another golf ball down. He clearly didn't believe in the survival skills of Merle's brother. 'You can track with the best of 'em, but it's like a needle in a haystack.'

Merle watched the golf ball fly away before responding. 'She told me where I could find that farmhouse they were hold up in.'

'He could be anywhere,' the Governor simply stated and Quinn felt a sudden hatred flame up in her chest. If someone had told her where to find her brother she would go look for him and anyone who would try to stop her was as good as dead. She didn't understand why Merle was asking permission in the first place. She hadn't expected a man like him to ask permission for anything.

'Well, I know my brother,' Merle tried again, 'if he's out there, I'll be able to find him.'

'What if someone gets hurt during this search, huh?' The Governor asked.

'Then I'll go on my own,' Merle said and Quinn could hear the impatience building in his voice.

'I get what you're feeling, I really do, but I can't risk it, I need you here. This whole place would fall apart without you.'

That was complete bullshit. A place this secure with walls that stayed up all winter, it wouldn't suddenly fall apart when one man left. Especially someone like Merle. Quinn couldn't wrap her head around the fact that anyone would actually believe the Governor with his pretty face and empty words.

Merle didn't respond at first and she thought he'd given up but then he tried again.

'This is my brother.'

'Tell you what,' the Governor replied, 'you get more concrete information, I'll go with you myself. Alright?'

Merle didn't say a word and so Quinn assumed he just nodded.

Taking a deep breath she decided she'd been listening in on them enough and she walked up to the wall, taking the attention of the two men. 'Governor,' she yelled up at them, not entirely able to keep the mocking tone out of her voice at the mention of his title. 'Andrea was looking for you.'

The Governor put down his golf stick. 'Where is she?'

Quinn pointed down the street. 'I think she went to your apartment.'

He nodded at her before walking to the stairs and climbing down from the wall. He walked past her, offering her an empty smile that made shivers crawl down her spine before rounding the corner and disappearing out of sight.

When she turned to face forward again Merle had made his way down the wall as well. He came to a halt in front of her, opening his mouth to probably throw some inappropriate comment at her but she spoke before he could get the chance to.

'So, your brother's out there.'

He nodded at her and she could see the frustration of not being allowed to go and search for him. It was basically written all over his face. He really was an open book.

'If someone gave me information about my brother I wouldn't even ask for permission to leave,' she said as she crossed her arms over her chest.

'You have a brother?' He asked, somehow sounding surprised at the fact.

Quinn nodded, feeling the familiar ache of loss in her chest. 'Haven't seen him for years. Honestly I'd give anything just to know what happened to him. Whether he's alive or...' She couldn't bring herself to finish that sentence, she couldn't even begin to explain why she was telling the one handed man this in the first place. 'I'm just saying,' she started, shaking her head to clear her thoughts, 'if you're trying to get me to stay, you're failing.'

Merle frowned at her, clearly not understanding where she was going with all this. 'How so?'

'I would never stay in a place where the leader doesn't allow me to go look for my family,' she finished, before turning around and walking away.

A shaky breath left her lips as she made her way back to their room, suddenly not at all hungry anymore. In fact she felt slightly sick and her body was basically begging to get back to sleep, despite being only awake for about an hour. It was this place, the feeling of being locked up and forced to be somewhere she definitely did not want to be. If even the Governor's right hand men weren't allowed outside without permission, how were they ever going to get out of here?

She was about to enter the room but froze in her step when voices came drifting through the door. 'I thought we had an agreement,' Michonne said, her voice sharp with emotion.

'We can always leave tomorrow, or the following day,' Andrea answered, her words quick as if it would hurt less if she spoke fast, like taking a bandage off an open wound.

Quinn opened the door and two pairs of eyes turned to look at her, one angry and the other sad. 'The following day?' Quinn repeated, her heart beating fast in her chest, she couldn't believe this was actually happening.

Andrea wanted to stay, she wanted to stay in a place they knew nothing about, except for that both Michonne and Quinn didn't trust it. Wasn't that enough for her to make her want to leave as well? Whatever had happened during her goodbye with the Governor, it had managed to make her choose strangers over her friends.

'I don't want to walk into trouble that we can't get out of,' Andrea said, crossing her arms over her chest in defiance.

'Tell me about it,' Michonne shot back, her hands on her hips.

'Andrea, why can't you just believe us?' Quinn asked, trying to ignore her growing headache as she stared at the blond woman.

'Quinn, it's just a day or two,' Andrea said, her voice tired. 'That's all I'm asking.'

'We heard you the first time,' Michonne stated, before letting go of the bag she'd been packing and walking out of the room, leaving a heavy silence behind.

Andrea turned to look at Quinn who, with a slight shake of her head, left the room as well. She bit her tongue, wondering why her eyes were suddenly stinging so bad and her stomach was turning inside of her. Her feet carried her through the building and she was almost stumbling blindly through the hallways when she took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down. Nothing was going on, not yet, they were still together, they could still get out of here together. There was no need to worry about them getting separated yet.

Taking a deep breath she straightened her back and took in her surroundings, she hadn't been into this part of the building yet. She was about to retrace her steps but words written on the wall to her right made her stop in her tracks. In big grey letters the word: library was written above the door. Curiosity got the best of her and she pushed the door open, her eyes slightly widening as she took in row upon row stacked with books.

When she was a kid she loved to read, especially fantasy. Milo always mockingly used to say she loved "escaping to where life was better". She never disagreed with him.

She walked along the shelves, letting her fingers run along the spines of the many books. Dust had gathered on them and she found herself growing slightly sad by the thought of no one opening the pages to drink in the words anymore.

'Seems like a man can never get a minute of peace here,' a familiar voice cut through the air.

Her heart leaped in her chest as she turned around, her eyes falling on Merle, sitting in a chair with a book on his lap. He was smirking at her with that annoying flirtatious smile of his.

She ignored it. 'I didn't picture you as the reading type,' she said and then she caught sight of the bible. She almost laughed, almost. 'Especially not something like the Bible?'

'Well, gotta do something with my time.'

She frowned at him. 'Is it any good? I never got a chance to read it.'

He shrugged, closing it before putting it on the table that stood next to him. 'Lots of men knowin' nothing about nothing.'

Nodding slowly she turned back to the shelves, her eyes scanning the many books. She could feel Merle's eyes on her but she was determined not to look at the man. The words he said to her this morning were still fresh in the back of her mind and she wasn't planning on giving him the opportunity to make the offer to her again.

'Bet ya were one of them high and mighty college kids. Probably why ya started usin'. Escapin' that boring life and that damn pressure, ya know,' Merle asked her, slightly chuckling because of his own joke.

Quinn kept her eyes focused on the books in front of her, not bothering to give him an answer. She never went to college, despite loving to learn but what use was it to tell him that?

'Fine, don't answer poor ol' Merle. Keep yer secrets.'

She spun around on her heels, her eyes holding a raging fire. 'Do you ever shut up?'

'I'm willin' to let you make me,' he said, raising his eyebrows suggestively at her.

She winced. 'Gross,' she muttered. Then shook her head and made her way back to the door.

'Hey, hey, hey, wait.' Merle jumped to his feet and made his way after her. He jumped before her, blocking the way to the door, his lips still drawn in that ever lingering smirk of his.

She pinched the bridge of her nose, hoping to kill the settling headache, before looking up at him. 'What do you want, Merle?' Her voice suddenly sounded incredibly tired.

'You came in here talkin' to me-' he started but she raised her hand to cut him off.

'I meant what do you want? Sitting here memorising the Bible or going out there looking for your brother?' She held his gaze as his smirk slowly disappeared from his face, like snow melting before the sun. 'Like I said, why trust someone who stops you from being with your family?'

She didn't await his answer, instead she walked around him, stepped outside of the library and made sure to slam the door shut behind her. Taking a deep breath she stared at the hallway before her, wondering why she didn't exactly hate talking to Merle. The answer was easy but scary at the same time. He reminded her of the past, of the men she used to hang out with before all of this. He was familiar, easy, an escape to when life was easier.

With determined steps she began walking away from the library. That wasn't her life anymore and she'd make damn well sure it never would be again.

A U T H O R 'S  N O T E

I wanted to create some sort of relationship between Merle and Quinn because I absolutely love Merle as a character and I thought it would be fun to connect him to Quinn. He represents everything her life used to be and so it kind off feels like her conversing with her past, ya know? It's fun to write. And I mean if Merle represents her past, three guesses to which Dixon repretents her future... ;)

Writing the conversations between Merle and Quinn was hard. I wanted to stay as true to his character as I could. So I hope he didn't turn too much into an OC and still felt like Merle. Please let me know if I changed him too much, I really don't want that.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, because this is honestly one of my favorites so far! Oh, and also, I decided to add monday to the update schedule. So this story will now be updated on mondays, wednesdays and saturdays.

Thanks for reading guys!

xXx

UYM

edited: ✔