63. the road to madness

MILO

     WITH HIS AXE IN ONE HAND, AND A knife in the other he followed Abraham into the bookstore. They had choosen the building as their hotel for the night, mostly because of the practical view it had on the surrounding streets and two exits. Darkness had already fallen and his legs felt heavy from all the walking they had done after the accident. He could use some rest.

'Let's go,' Abraham said, calling the others inside after him.

Milo entered the building, watching as Abraham moved left and so he moved right, hearing the others move behind him. With their weapons raised they did a quick sweep of the room, but it appeared to be empty and so they lowered their weapons and started making it secure.

They covered the windows, moved closets around to make sure they could see the entire room. Eugene got a small fire going with a battery and some paper. All while Abraham hummed a song.

When everyone was settled in, Milo took his position at the only window that wasn't covered, scanning the streets for any signs of danger. Abraham stood next to him, his had been stitched by Rosita with the thread of a book cover. Funny how anything could be useful when you had nothing else.

He got startled out of his thoughts by a walker throwing himself at the window. Even though he had lost count of the amount of corpses he'd seen, he still felt his stomach turn in disgust by the sight of the milky white eyes. The gap where once a nose had been and the decayed flesh that melted so far in the Georgian heat, that actual holes had appeared in his skin.

The sound of the corpse thumping against the glass and biting his teeth into the air, made Glenn move over towards the two men. In silence they stared at the walker, watching until it finally gave up and turned to follow some other sound that came from down the street.

Milo relaxed his grip on his axe, not even noticing until now how tight he'd been holding it. By now it had become second nature to hold his weapon close.

'Hey,' Abraham spoke quitely to Glenn now that the walker was gone. 'Thank you,' he added when Glenn had returned the greeting. 'Both of you.'

'For what?' Milo asked.

'For showing up,' the soldier explained. 'It took a little horse trading to get you here, but it's plain as potatoes to me now. You two get it. Coulda' lit out after the crash, made a case, but you stayed.'

'I made a deal,' Glenn stated like it was the simpelest thing.

'And I gave my word,' Milo added, knowing it was indeed that simple. There wasn't much to hold onto in this world anymore, which was why he valued the promise of a man's word all the more.

'Yeah, you coulda' broke it,' Abraham replied, then chuckled humorlessly and gestured at the dark street behind the glass. 'What was I gonna do?'

Glenn had no answer to that and so instead looked down at the knife the man was holding steadily in his hand. 'You gonna put that thing away tonight?' He asked.

Abraham took a glance at it before placing the blade into its sheath.

Glenn then gestured at his hand. 'What about that? You gonna wrap that up?'

'No, I'm gonna let it get some air. Got cut up pretty ugly last night back at the church.'

'Yeah,' Glenn mumbled and then fell silent at the memory of the group they left behind. It felt like months ago, when it truly only had been a day.

Milo could still feel his stomach tighten painfully at the thought of his sister being out there while he was heading in a complete different direction. He never thought he'd willingly leave her behind, not after spending his whole life making sure she was safe. But he trusted both Rick and Daryl, he was no longer alone in trying to protect her. And that thought calmed him down a little. They were more than a group of survivors, they were family and family looks out for each other.

'Gotten to the point where everyone alive is strong now,' Abraham said upon noticing both of their expressions as the thought of their family crossed their minds. 'We have to be. You're either strong and they can help you so you help then or you're strong and they can kill ya. So you gotta kill them.' He let a short silence fall, choosing his next words with care. 'You gotta kill them and...' He didn't seem able to finish that sentence and so Milo just nodded, showing he understood. Because he did, way before any of this started.

Abraham sighed deeply, seeming to have gathered himself again. 'I want to say it's never easy. That's not the truth. It's the easiest thing in the world now.' There was raw despair in his eyes when he said the words and Milo found himself taking a deep breath when realising he'd been thinking the same thing only days before.

'That's is what scares me,' he mumbled, both of the men turning to him. 'More than walkers and people combined. What will be left of us when it's over?'

Silence fell between the three of them, no one having an answer ready to that question. It was such a paradox to have to kill in order to live, but lose your soul in the process. And maybe that was what he found the hardest thing about the world ending the way it did. That the thing he hated himself most for doing, was now the only thing that would keep him alive...

'The world's gonna change, right?' Glenn asked, almost hopeful.

'You're damn right it's gonna,' Abraham replied, just as hopeful, more than hopeful even, like it was the truth, already set in stone.

'You better turn in,' Milo broke the moment, looking at Abraham. 'You got late watch.'

'Yeah,' the ginger replied, throwing one last look outside before gathering his weapons. 'I really need some ass first,' he said and then walked away.

Glenn watched him go before turning to Milo, who found it hard to suppress a small smirk. 'Didn't need to know that, but, cool,' Glenn mumbled, making Milo's smirk only wider.

'I'm gonna get some sleep,' he said, about to walk away but paused and turned to look at Glenn. 'Unfortunately I can only dream about getting ass.'

That earned a small chuckle from Glenn which Milo felt himself echoing before turning to search for a somewhat comfortable place to sleep on the hard floors.

'This town isn't in bad shape,' Maggie said from her position on the worn out chair. 'This store wasn't even touched.'

Morning light was shining through the cracks of the paper they put up against the windows. Milo slept for maybe four hours but constantly startled awake out of the most horrible nightmares. He had lost count of the amount of times he'd seen Quinn die...He had no energy to add his opinion to the conversation of what their next step should be. Self-hatred burned within him for being here while his mind was still at the church. He wasn't at a hundred percent, which was what this group deserved and needed. And that fact only soured his mood.

'We could make a good base here,' Maggie continued, 'we could spend one last day doing a sweep for supplies.'

'We'll sweep as we go,' Rosita sighed with an annoyed glare at Abraham. 'We've done it since Houston. We're not stopping now.' Her tone made it very clear she didn't agree with her words. And the way Abraham avoided her gaze was enough for Milo to know they had an argument about this very topic only minutes before.

'You heard the lady,' Abraham mumbled. 'We're taking it north.'

'We tapped out the toilet,' Tara said, leaning against the door with her arms crossed over her chest. 'Broad River is five miles west. At the very least, we stock up there before we find wheels.'

'We got a vehicle,' Abraham said, pushing himself out of his chair and walking up to the window. 'And it just so happens...It's got 500 gallons of water on it.'

Milo frowned and followed his gaze through a crack of the paper on the window. A small smile appeared on his features upon spotting the bright red fire truck across the street. That wasn't bad, not bad at all.

They gathered their stuff, which wasn't much, and made their way outside, weapons at the ready but the town was completely empty.

The truck appeared to be in an alright shape, for as far as Milo could see. He wasn't an expert on fire trucks. He watched as Abraham climbed inside and tried to get the engine to start. It took a moment but finally it roared to life, followed by a bellowing laugh from the red haired soldier.

'About time things started going our way!' He called above the noise of the engine.

Eugene climbed in the seat next to him and the soldier started driving, testing out the feel of the truck but he barely made it a few feet before it died down again.

'We'll find another ride,' Glenn sighed.

'If there was a ride worth a shit in this town, we'd have seen it,' Abraham snapped while jumping back outside. 'This thing's done some crowd clearing. Right up into the intake. Which means we've got an air filter filled with damn human remains.' He sighed deeply. 'There's no damned corner on this damned Earth that has not been dicked hard beyond all damned recognition.' Frustration grew in his voice and for a second Milo feared he would start throwing stuff but he only reached down to take a plastic bag of the street to start cleaning the air filter.

'Abraham?' Rosita stopped him.

'What?' He snapped.

'That feeds the radiator,' she said, pointed at the "air filter" he'd been cleaning. 'The intake for the engine is actually on the roof.'

He looked at her, completely stunned for a second before nodding at her with a small smile forming on his face.

Before he could climb up there though a noise came out of the building behind them. Milo turned sharply, his hand already hovering near his axe.

Suddenly the door of the building was pushed open and walkers came stumbling outside, their moans echoing over the empty street.

'Shit,' Milo mumbled, pulling his axe free.

'One damn time!' Abraham screamed in frustration, running forwards to hit the first walker in the face with the handle of his gun.

Milo rushed after him, watching his back, knowing the soldier was in too deep to think straight. He ignored Rosita's call but heard Glenn and Maggie right behind them. Raising his axe he bashed in the head of the walker he approached before quickly pulling it out and spinning around to attack the second.

Blood sprayed on his arms, groans were hurting his ears as he spun and cut down walker after walker. Bones cracked and skin was cut until suddenly water came raining down from the sky.

For a second he was confused. How could it rain were the sky was as blue as the ocean? But then he turned to see Eugene standing on the roof of the truck, having opened fire...well more like water...on the walkers.

The high pressure of the water pulled the corpses apart as if they were made of paper. Blood mixed with water and formed an awful mess on the floor.

Milo pushed himself against the truck, trying his hardest to avoid the mess of blood and organs. But his grip on his axe never faltered, in case one of them would escape and stumble towards them.

Then it was over.

The roar of the water died down as Eugene closed the huge tap. All the walkers were a wet mess on the ground. Faint groans were heard but none of them got back up again.

'I've been to eight county fairs and one goat rodeo,' Abraham said, looking between the scientist and the walkers. 'I never seen anything like that.'

Eugene didn't bother to hide his proud smile.

'There was a Goodwill over there by the bookstore,' Glenn said. 'It's pretty blown up but there might be some supplies, some dry clothes maybe?'

'Not necessary,' Abraham said, walking to the back of the truck to climb on the roof. 'I can clear that intake in two shakes. Then the engine will get some wind and so will we. You'll air-dry. We roll on.' Once he was on top he took a moment to look down on the ground, suddenly beginning to laugh.

Milo frowned and turned, noticing a sentence had been written on the pavement, becoming visible because of the water that had made it clean. It read:

"Sick inside. Let them die."

His laugh echoed over the street and somehow made Milo's mood slightly better. 'This shit is screwed up!' Abraham shouted at them, the grin on his face never faltering.

Eugene's humming was the only thing breaking the silence, not counting the occasional curse coming from Abraham.

They didn't get very far before the truck broke down again, a few miles out of town and that was it. Now he was standing guard while Abraham attempted to fix whatever was wrong with it.

He narrowed against the horizon, holding his weapon tightly even though there was nothing to be seen. He still felt exhausted and his mood had gone down again since the truck broke down but with the nightmares put in a far corner of his mind he did feel slightly better.

'Hey,' Glenn greeted him, coming to stand next to him, turning his gaze down the road too.

'Hey,' Milo sighed, his voice sounded more tired than he thought it would and it slightly startled him.

For a second Glenn granted him blissful silence before saying what he came here to say. 'You look tired,' he said and Milo almost laughed at his terrible opening line, almost.

'Nightmares,' he replied, not feeling the need to lie. In a world like this, not having nightmares would be considered strange and so he felt no shame in admitting that his nights had not been that peaceful lately.

Glenn nodded, the look on his face telling Milo he was familiar with the feeling. He took a shaky breath, knowing that Glenn would never make fun of him if he were to say what he was thinking right now.

'I never...' he stopped, taking another breath. He didn't understand why this was so hard to finally say out loud. 'I never left her voluntarily.' He chuckled bitterly. 'I didn't think I ever would and I can't help but hate myself for it.'

Glenn took a second to think about those words before finally answering: 'It's normal to want to protect the people you love.'

'Yeah,' Milo mumbled.

A sudden light breeze caressed his cheek and for a moment he was relieved to be rid of the heat, that was until the smell hit him. Breathing was suddenly hard and he almost chocked on the thickness of it. It was the smell of death, but stronger than he ever smelled before.

'Woah what the hell is that,' Glenn choked out.

'What?' Maggie called from behind the truck.

'Wind's picking up, you're about to smell it,' Milo told her and he wasn't even finished before the smell forced its way into his noise again, making him cough.

'Whatever's making that stench,' Abraham spoke, climbing out of the truck, 'it ain't nothin' nice.' He jumped outside. 'We're not stopping.'

'Uh,' Tara interjected, 'we're stopped.'

But Abraham ignored her and started walking, leaving the truck behind. He felt like protesting, but knew that it was pointless and so he made his way after the soldier. The rest of the group slowly following.

They walked around the corner, following the road and his eyes widened by the sight before them. Countless and countless of walkers were stumbling on the road and surrounding fields. They were far away and he preferred to keep it that way. It looked like they had build a safe zone here, one that had completely turned to shit. At least now they knew what caused that horrible smell.

Glenn gave a slight shake of his head before turning around and heading back the way they came. Milo followed him and so did the rest. There was no way they would get through that safely. There had to be another road somewhere.

'Abraham?' Rosita called out, making Milo look over his shoulder.

The soldier hadn't moved, staring straight ahead as if lost in deep thought. Milo could hear him mumble something to himself but he couldn't make out the words.

'Abraham, let's get out of here,' Rosita pressed.

Finally he turned to look at them. 'Hold up,' he spoke, making Milo frown slightly.

'We gotta go,' Maggie said softly.

'No,' the soldier replied. 'No we don't.' He shook his head firmly. 'They can't hear us and they can't see us. Not from here. We're fine.'

'Yeah,' Tara said, 'this is the definition of "fine".'

'We need the map. There's gotta be a detour,' Glenn tried to reason.

'I'm not doing it,' Abraham spoke up again. 'We detoured and detoured and detoured from Houston to Georgia. I'm not playing that game anymore.'

Milo felt anger burn inside of him at those words. He couldn't seriously be willing to risk their lives, just for his own pride, just to show he could get them there.

'We are not going through this, okay?' Glenn spoke up sharply, anger in his voice as he pointed at the absurd amount of walkers in front of them. 'It isn't gonna happen!'

'You got a shit-storm behind door A and a storm of shit behind door B. If you're lucky, it's walkers or a shot-up truck. But sooner or later you get cornered. You wind up stayin' and you wind up killin'. We don't go back. We can't go back.'

'I'm not talking about going back,' Glenn tried to reason with the man. 'Just south a few miles.'

'No!' Abraham shouted.

For a second silence lingered as everyone tried to fight their disbelief and anger. Then Eugene spoke up. 'We already hit a full stop 'cause of an air filter compromised by innards. That will happen again.'

'Then we'll hit 'em with the hose.'

'The tank is empty,' Milo countered, growing tired of the man his bullshit.

'If we floor it...'

'We still hit them, they still slow us down and then they stop us,' Glenn spoke up again, sounding furious at the man. Furious that he was willing to risk their lives like this.

'I'm not saying we just go straight,' Abraham shouted.

'That's the way the road goes,' Maggie spoke calmly but firmly.

'Abraham,' Rosita sighed his name with a tone that she said he had been stupid for long enough now.

'We can get through!' The man screamed. 'I know it! And that means we are not going south, going around, or going back!'

'No,' Rosita whispered, in a voice so soft and unlike her that it made Abraham turn to her. She gave a small shake of her head 'They're right.'

Abraham nodded slowly before turning around slowly, taking Eugene by the arm and all but dragging him back to the truck. The man whimpered in his grip and it made Rosita scream out in anger.

'You are done!' Glenn shouted, trying to push the enormous man away from the scientist.

'Do not!' Abraham screamed, pushing Glenn back. He looked like a man possessed by pride, hurt and anger. 'I told you, you do not touch me! You do not touch me!'

Rosita tried to stop him but he pushed her aside, making her fall down in the grass.

Milo stormed forwards, trying to get a grip on the man his arm to get him away from Glenn but he was as strong as a bear and stood as steady as a rock, there was no moving him. 'Stop it! Damn it man!' Milo screamed in his face, pushing and pulling to get him to calm down.

Rosita got back up, screaming in anger for Abraham to let go. But he was still holding Glenn in a tight grip, shouting and cursing in his face.

But above all their angry screams suddenly came another voice. 'I'm not a scientist! I'm not a scientist!'

Everyone froze and turned to look at Eugene, eyes wide, breathing heavy and for a second he thought he misheard him. But the scared and ashamed look on Eugene's face told him otherwise. The man looked close to crying when he choked out: 'I lied. I'm not a scientist. I don't know how to stop it.'

Milo took a step back, feeling so confused that it made him dizzy.

'I'm not a scientist,' Eugene mumbled again and the world came crashing down.

He left his sister for a lie...