" Beth wouldn't have wanted him to do this. "

99. in the end

QUINN

     SHE COULDN'T LOOK AWAY FROM THE fresh pile of dirt at her feet and the wooden cross with a name carved in it. She'd been standing at the grave ever since the funeral ended, the image in front of her forcing her to think about a future without Beth. A future without her smile, her happiness and her everlasting faith in humanity. Quinn's heart was too heavy to bear it. She felt like the whole world was falling apart around her. A wave was crashing against her, drowning her.. She was locked inside of a nightmare ever since the arrow ended Beth's life and even now, a day later, her body still didn't seem able to wake up.

The funeral had been quiet. The only sounds that were heard were Maggie's sobs as she clung to Glenn and was forced to say goodbye to her sister. Quinn had wanted to walk away multiple times, unable to hear the heart wrenching sounds. The only thing keeping her there had been the steady presence of her brother beside her, and the silent anger radiating from Daryl on her other side. Milo's eyes were filled with tears but he seemed to have forced himself not to let them out, to stay strong for both Maggie and his sister, to be a calming presence beside them. Daryl hadn't even bothered to put on such a facade. Silent tears had stained his cheeks, his heart visibly broken for the girl who had saved his life in every way that mattered after the prison fell. He was unravelling at the seams, anger and grief forming a dangerous storm inside of him and Quinn feared for his life if he decided to unleash it.

Father Gabriel had spoken a few words but Quinn hadn't remembered any of it, locked in a seemingly never ending nightmare. Everyone had been allowed to throw a hand of dirt into the grave and Quinn couldn't recall her hands ever shaking so badly before. Slowly the crowd dispersed, eventually leaving only her standing there, eyes drawn to the grave like moths to a fire.

Soft footsteps approached over the grass and came to a stop beside her, still she didn't lift her eyes. A comforting hand landed on her shoulder, grounding her in the moment, a lifeline to keep her from drowning. 'It's not your fault,' her brother spoke. 'You know that right?'

Did she? Hadn't that been the one thought on repeat in her head ever since yesterday? She had allowed Beth to come, had allowed her to leave the safety of Alexandria and now she was dead. Instead she replied with a soft: 'I know.' Her voice was hoarse. It didn't even sound like her own, like a stranger was speaking for her.

Milo stayed silent, probably seeing right through her lie, but instead he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. She buried her face in his chest, unable to stop the tears that had worked their way up to the surface once again. Her body was shaking from the sobs rattling through her. She hated the sounds coming out of her mouth, like a wounded animal crying out but she couldn't stop. The pain was tearing her open from the inside out, claws were ripping her open and she couldn't fight them.

She lost track of time as the two of them stood there but eventually her sobs died down and she was left with her body shaking painfully with hiccups. Milo hadn't said a word. He simply stroked her hair and held her as she cried and she'd never been happier to have him by her side. Slowly she entangled herself from his grip, remaining close but bracing herself for what she was about to say. It was time. She couldn't hide it from him any longer.

'I wanted to go out there,' she started, her voice barely more than a whisper. Her throat was aching but she had to get these words out. 'I had to prove I could still protect myself after what happened at the satellite station.'

A frown had appeared on Milo's face, confusion flashing through his eyes but he remained quiet and let her search for the right words to say what was on her mind.

'I know it's stupid but he got into my head and now I can't shake the thought that if I'd been stronger she'd still be alive.' Tears reappeared but she managed to swallow them before she'd break down crying once again.

'He?' Milo questioned. 'Who are you talking about?'

She forced herself to look at him, forced herself to say strong. 'Nick.' There it was, the truth about what happened that day.

Slowly realisation dawned on Milo's face but it was quickly replaced by a fierce anger that took her by surprise. 'Did he hurt you?' He questioned. She wondered how someone who looked so angry could still speak so softly and worried. As always his first thought had been for her safety, which was exactly the reason she didn't want to tell him. He deserved to live his life without worrying for her, but she knew now that was impossible. When you stopped worrying, people died.

'No,' she finally said. 'He didn't hurt me.' Milo opened his mouth to respond but she was quicker. 'I swear, Milo, he didn't.' She took a deep breath. 'In fact he almost seemed-' she fell quiet, searching for the right word. 'Worried,' she finally managed. 'He seemed worried for me. And I couldn't stand that. I couldn't stand the thought that he might've changed.' She bit her lip but tears slipped out of her eyes anyway. She had broken the dam and the water refused to be captured again.

Milo pulled her in for another hug but she kept talking, blaming herself, her voice muffled by his shirt. 'I had to prove I could still protect myself, I had to go out there and I took her with me and now-' 'Don't do that,' he said softly, holding her tightly. 'Don't do that to yourself. Don't let him get into your head again.'

'I can't stop thinking it,' she whispered. She sounded like a child, whining about not getting what they wanted but she didn't have the energy to behave like a responsible adult right now. She needed someone to blame, someone to hate and so she hated herself. She hadn't been able to save Beth and now the teenager was gone, robbed of living her life, growing old and one day falling in love again. More than anyone here she deserved to one day have children of her own, playing and laughing with them. But now that future was gone, vanished into thin smoke and all Quinn kept thinking about was if only she'd let Beth stay here...

'No one blames you,' Milo said. 'So, don't blame yourself.'

She looked up at him and suddenly her eyelids felt so heavy. 'Please just ask me what you want to ask,' she mumbled, an aching tiredness slowly taking over her limbs.

A sigh left Milo's lips and she could see the conflict in his brown eyes. They both knew what it was he wanted to ask, but they also knew that if he were to say it out loud they'd be faced with an inevitable truth, no matter what the answer would be.

'Did you kill him?' Milo finally asked. There was no accusation in his tone, no anger, just a genuine question about what had really happened that day

She held his gaze for a moment, afraid to see anger if she said no and afraid to see disappointment if she said yes. She knew he'd never judge her and still she was so afraid to say it. Taking a deep breath she held his gaze as she finally forced herself to answer. 'No.'

Milo nodded, his expression unchanged. He wasn't mad, he wasn't upset, he was just here to listen to her and offer a shoulder to cry on.

'He took me away from the others to get information,' she said and it felt surprisingly good to finally talk about what had happened. 'At least I thought that was what he was doing. Instead he offered me his help.' She frowned, recalling the memory and the utter confusion she'd felt in that moment. 'He was sober and I swear if he hadn't looked like our father I wouldn't have recognised him.'

Seconds passed as Milo seemed to process the situation and search for something to say. 'Well,' he finally started. 'At the least the end of the world has been good for something then.'

A shaky laugh left her lips. She almost felt guilty for laughing besides Beth's grave. But Milo's proud smile told her otherwise. She was allowed to laugh, allowed to feel happy because that's what Beth would've wanted.

'It's okay,' Milo said, squeezing her shoulder in comfort. 'I don't think we'll ever see him again and maybe that's for the best. I wouldn't want to be in his shoes when he meets Daryl.'

She smiled, as always her heart seemed to grow three sizes when she thought of the archer. 'Which is why I'm more afraid to tell him than you,' she said, watching as Milo smiled at that.

'Just know that I wouldn't hold him back if took a swing at Nick,' Milo grinned.

'I wouldn't want you to,' Quinn mumbled.

'Thought so,' Milo said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders once again and leading her away from the grave, back towards the street.

She leaned into him, grateful to have him near. Suddenly she felt so tired and wished for nothing more than to lay down in bed and let the world disappear. Alas she was not granted such a thing. The low familiar rumble of a motorcycle echoed through the community. Quinn exchanged a glance with Milo before both siblings bursted into the sprint. They ran towards the front gate and arrived at the same time Michonne, Glenn and Maggie did, just in time to see Daryl disappear on his motor.

'Shit,' Quinn muttered.

'What the hell is he doing?' Glenn questioned.

'Something he shouldn't,' Michonne replied.

Quinn turned towards one of the parked cars behind them, opened the door and sat down behind the wheel. She was joined by Michonne and Glenn and noticed Milo wanted to get into the car as well. However, Glenn looked at him and understanding seemed to pass between the two men. Milo nodded and took a step back, letting the three of them go.

'Be careful,' Milo said to her, a worried gleam in his eyes.

She nodded at him before hitting the gas and driving out of the community. She watched in the rearview mirror as Milo closed the gate again, Maggie standing by his side, both of them watching as they left Alexandria behind. She looked away, focusing her eyes back on the road in front of her.

'Do you know where he went?' Glenn questioned from the back of the car.

'Yes,' Quinn replied through gritted teeth. She'd known Daryl was about to do something stupid, she'd basically seen it written all over his face during the enterity of the funeral. But instead of trying to stop him she'd been crying on her brother's shoulder. She hit the gas even harder until the car was basically flying over the asphalt.

Within minutes they'd reached their destination and she all but jumped out of the car, followed closely by Michonne and Glenn. Bodies from the fight were scattered around the street. A lone walker was knelt besides one of them, eating away at the rotting flesh. Quinn reached for her daggers, only to realise she'd forgotten them. A gun appeared in her line of sight and she looked up to see Michonne offering the weapon to her. She took with a small smile of gratitude and watched as her friend walked towards the walker and sliced its head off clean with her sword.

Involuntarily her eyes were drawn towards a dark spot of dried blood on the asphalt and just like with Beth's grave, she was once again unable to look away. Her throat tightened and she took a shaky breath, trying to blink away the tears that had appeared in her eyes.

Glenn came standing next to her, his presence comforting without him even needing words.

'This is where she died,' Quinn spoke softly, eyes focused on the blood stain as though it might disappear if she wished it hard enough.

'So he had to start from here,' Glenn said softly.

'Yeah,' Quinn muttered, tightening her grip on the gun before finally turning away from the blood. Her eyes went to Michonne instead, who was moving away some buches on the side of the road. Beneath the leaves and wood she could make out Daryl's motorcycle.

'He did,' she said, looking up at Glenn and Quinn.

'Which way did Dwight run?' Glenn asked.

She nodded towards the forest edge and the three of them started walking. The blue sky disappeared and made way for a roof of leaves and branches. Quinn tried to walk as quietly as possible, heel first then toe, just as Daryl had taught her and Beth when it was just the three of them. The memory hit her so suddenly that her heart lurged with sudden pain and a small gasp left her lips. She took a deep breath to calm herself and focused her eyes on the ground. She knew Daryl's tracks would be impossible to find, but she could track what was left of Dwight's crew having run this way. They hadn't been careful, the entire forest floor was covered in their tracks. So even for an untrained eye such as hers it was easy to follow them.

'You good?' Michonne questioned softly as she followed Quinn's lead, sword in her hands and her entire body tensed, ready for a fight.

'Not even a little,' Quinn admitted, keeping her eyes focused on the ground. 'Beth wouldn't have wanted him to do this,' she spoke, frustration leaking into her voice.

'What do you want?' Michonne questioned, as always able to look right into her soul.

Truthfully, there was nothing she wanted more than to push her dagger into Dwight's eye, to wipe that stupid and arrogant smile forever from his face. The thought fueled her and made that she was even able to get out of bed this morning. But she knew she couldn't say those words outloud, not without Michonne forcing her to turn back around before she'd do something stupid. 'To find Daryl,' she finally replied, knowing the answer wouldn't satisfy her friend.

Michonne sighed but said nothing, instead she fell behind Quinn and walked next to Glenn to let her follow the tracks in peace. It didn't take her long to catch up with him. After several minutes of tracking through the forest she caught sight of a winged back on their right. She quickened her pace, a branch snapping beneath her feet as she did. The sound drew Daryl's attention. He turned towards them, his crossbow raised, his finger pulling the trigger.

The arrow was fired into the tree right next to Quinn's head. A frustrated sigh left her lips as she reached for the bolt and pulled it free before walking towards him. Part of him wanted to shout at him for being so unbelievably stupid, but a much larger part wished she'd been with him from the beginning. Why did those men deserve to live if Beth didn't? Lucky for her Daryl spoke first, saving her from having to give a hypocritical speech.

'You shouldn't've come,' he snapped, snatching the arrow from her hand.

'You shouldn't have left,' Michonne replied, anger burning in her eyes.

Daryl turned to look at them and the pain in his eyes made her want to cry once again. 'When I split off from Sasha and Abraham, he was out there in the woods in that burned-out forest with them girls. Put a gun to my head! Tied me up!' His voice rose in volume as he spoke, the storm inside of him bursting free in an all consuming hurricane. 'I even tried to help him.' Then he turned to leave, only to be called back by Glenn.

'So you think it's your fault?' His voice was sharp and Quinn startled slightly, never having him see like this before.

'Yeah, I know it is,' Daryl said, his voice soft and filled with self-hatred. 'I'm gonna go do what I should've done before.'

Glenn frowned, taking a step forward. 'What, for her? She's gone man,' his voice broke but still he continued. 'You're doing this for you.'

Daryl shook his head. 'I don't give a shit.'

'Daryl!' Glenn stepped in front of him, preventing him trying to leave once again. 'We need to get back there and figure this out from home. Our home. We need you and everyone back there needs us right now. It's gonna go wrong out here.'

Michonne stepped up beside him. 'We'll square it. I will. I promise you. Just come back.'

Silence lingered but just from one look at him, Quinn knew his mind was made up. He was set on this and he couldn't back down. 'I can't,' he muttered, walking away again.'

'Daryl,' Glenn tried once again.

'Man, I can't!' He shouted, his voice breaking and his blue eyes shining like diamonds from the lingering tears. This time Glenn didn't try to stop him as he walked away.

Quinn took a deep breath before moving to follow him.

'What are you doing?' Glenn questioned.

'Someone has to watch his back,' she said. 'Go back to Alexandria. Like you said, they need you but right now, he needs me.' And without waiting for a response she turned away from them and made her way after Daryl.

She caught up with him and walked beside him in silence. Her hands were itching for her daggers, it felt strange to be outside the walls without them but the gun in her hand managed to comfort her at least a little bit.

'You shouldn't be here,' Daryl suddenly broke the silence.

She came to a halt, anger flaring inside of her as she looked at him. 'Don't do that,' she said, trying her hardest to keep her voice soft, but she wasn't Milo, she wasn't good at offering comfort. She sounded angry, no matter how hard she tried not to. 'After everything you are not shutting me out now.'

Daryl frowned at her, his own pain and anger written all over his face. He was an open book for her to read, his heart on his sleeve. 'Like you've been doin'?'

Her breath caught in her throat. His accusation was fair and after everything they'd been through he deserved the truth from her, she just didn't know if she had it in her to recall the memory once again.

When her mouth stayed shut he scoffed and turned to walk away and that was what finally pushed her to open up. 'I saw my father!' She almost shouted it, her voice raised with frustration and grief and anger. It was all too much.

Daryl came to a halt, slowly turning back to her, a frown on his face. 'When?'

Tears worked their way to the surface once again and she wanted to hit something. She was so done with crying but it seemed like it was all she was capable of today. 'He was one of the people who took me, Maggie and Carol.'

Anger flared up in his eyes, but this time it wasn't directed at her. 'He was with them assholes?' He could barely say the words, fury choking them completely.

She nodded and as she tasted salt on her lips she realised the tears had escaped her eyes without her even noticing. 'I'm sorry. I should've told you. I just-' She fell silent and suddenly she was wrapped into two strong arms, the smell of home enveloping her as Daryl held her close. She rested her head against his chest, the sound of his strong heart beating slowly calming her down. 'I'm sorry,' she repeated.

'I get it,' he muttered in her hair. He took her face in his hands, their eyes meeting. 'Did he-'

'No,' she cut him off, not even wanting that thought to cross his mind. 'He didn't hurt me.' Doubt flashed through his mind and she tried to smile reassuringly. 'I promise, Daryl. He didn't touch me.' She took a shaky breath, trying to recollect herself but instead only more tears fell. She hated everything about this day.

His thumb stroke her cheek, wiping her tears away and she leaned forward, resting her forehead against his. For a moment they remained like that, standing there entangled in each other, sharing each other's pain and grief as though they were made of the same heart.

The faraway sound of a sharp whistle broke them apart. Daryl held on to her arm as Quinn threw a look over her shoulder, her heart hammering against her ribs. 'That wasn't a bird,' she muttered, looking back at Daryl who was scanning their surroundings with a gaze sharp like that of a hawk.

His features hardened. 'Nah,' he agreed, 'it wasn't.'

Quinn removed the safety from her gun as Daryl held his crossbow at the ready but as they looked around nothing moved and nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

'Come on,' he said and started to walk back from the way they came.

Goosebumps were all over skin and it seemed like the sky had suddenly grown cold. The two of them remained close together as they carefully walked through the forest, staying as close to the ground as possible. Every sound, every gust of wind put her even more on edge. Now that they knew they were no longer alone out here, every sound put her on edge. The sudden thought that someone had been watching them all this time flashed through her mind and it made her grip her gun even tighter.

Voices came drifting from up ahead, making the two of them come to a stop. They knelt down between the bushes and trees, trying to stay hidden from the group of men settled in front of them. A fire was burning with at least five men surrounding it. Four more were standing watch around the clearing and Quinn dared to say there were more she couldn't see as well. Too many to fight.

Then her eyes caught sight of Michonne and Glenn, bound and gagged in the middle of the makeshift camp. She looked at Daryl who had caught sight of them too, judging by the way his features hardened. She let her gaze wander around the camp, trying to find some way to get to the two of them unseen. Hopelessness flared up in her chest when she realised it was impossible.

Her eyes were drawn back to Glenn when she noticed him trying to sign something to them. He was moving his head, shaking it and she knew he'd come to the same conclusion. It was impossible for them to do this without getting hurt. But leaving the two of them here wasn't an option either. A shout left his lips and he was getting desperate now. She didn't understand what he was trying to say, not until the sound of a gun clicking behind them echoed through the silence of the forest.

Slowly she lowered her gun, looking at her right. Her heart beat sped up when her eyes caught sight of none other than Dwight. He was standing behind Daryl, his gun aimed at his back. 'Hi Daryl,' he spoke.

She felt the cold end of a barrel pressed against her own head, pinning her in place. She threw her gun on the ground, her palms sweaty from the nerves flying through her veins. On her right Daryl lowered his crossbow as well, placing it on the ground. He turned to face Dwight, hatred marking every line of his features.

The gunshot came out of nowhere, making her heart leap in her chest and a scream tore from her throat. Daryl fell on the ground, a pained shout ripped from his lips. She was at his side within seconds, not even caring about the gun pointed at her own head. Her hands were shaking as she pressed them down against the wound on his shoulder.

'No, no, no, no, no,' she muttered as the blood swept through her fingers. 'Stay awake, you stay awake.' She was begging but it was useless. Hot tears fell down her cheek, the world seemed to be shaking on its very foundations, everything was a blur except for him. She couldn't lose him, she wouldn't survive. Not him.

He said her name, softly, as she kept begging for him to stay awake.

Then he closed his eyes.

A U T H O R 'S  N O T E

Me writing this chapter: "Pain. That's it."

Despite all the pain I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Only one more chapter left before the sequel is published! We're almost at 100 chapters and I'm so grateful for this journey. This fanfic is my biggest pride and joy and I honestly can't believe how many of you are reading and enjoying this. I can't say this enough but thank you, thank you, thank you for all the love and support on this story!

xx Nelly