Walking in to the small apartment after the long day, she strips off her coat and discards her shoes. The encounter with Jimin running through her head on repeat. She's been living in Seoul for more than 6 months, and had never run across either one of the ghosts from her past. She's seen every billboard, and the pictures almost everywhere she goes, but never in person. Her heart is still beating uncontrollably in her chest, and she sits on the chair at the table to catch her breath.

"Miss Haerin, you're back!"

Haerin looks up to see her Unnie walking through the door, smiling. She gives a weak smile back to her, but quickly looks away.

"Naeun unnie... How many times do I have to tell you to just call me Haerin? We're not in my parents house anymore, and there is no need to be so formal with me."

"Sorry... Old habits. How was your day? You look exhausted."

"Gee... Thanks!"

Haerin is joking, but her mood is crappy, so it comes out like she's mad.

"I didn't mean anything bad Haerin. You seem in a foul mood. Do you want to talk about it?"

Remembering what had happened not long ago, Haerin sighed. Her heart which had finally started to heal, was now oozing blood as the scab was disturbed.

"I ran into Jimin..."

Naeun knew not to say anything. She'd been there when Haerin had fallen apart after they left. She had watched as Haerin's parents had tried to force her to marry a pervert, and go to business school. Worst of all, she was witness to the day that her own mother threw her down the stairs trying 'teach her a lesson'...

"Unnie?"

"Oh, sorry... How is Jimin?"

"I don't know... I ran away as soon as possible... I don't know if I can ever forgive him... He lied to me Unnie."

"You know Haerin... Maybe he didn't... You won't know unless you speak to him..."

"What's he going to say? Sorry I got everything I ever wanted! If he had wanted to stay in touch, he would have. There's no point in opening that door again."

"Was it just him? Jeongguk wasn't"

"No! Thank God! I hope to never see him again."

Naeun didn't comment further. Not only does she know how heart broken Haerin was, but how much she still loves him to this day. Naeun thought that if it would help, she'd find a way to talk to both those idiotic boys.

"Enough about the ones who left Unnie... How was your day? How are they?"

"They're good. I'll be going to pick them up in a little while. Did you want to come with?"

"I think I'll pass today. I need a bath, and maybe a drink... I'll see them when you come back."

When Haerin is alone again, she goes to the refrigerator and grabs a couple bottles of soju. Bringing them with her to the bathroom, she turns on the tap to run a warm bath. While the tub fills, she opens, and drinks deeply from the first bottle. This is her habit when she's upset. Chugging down a bottle of soju, or a couple glasses of wine in a short amount of time. It gives her a nice buzz and smooths out her rough edges. The numbing effect is something she needs.

When the tub is filled, she throws in a couple bath bombs and strips out of her clothes. She finishes the first bottle of drink, and opens the second. Taking it with her, she sinks into the fragrant water, sighing as her muscles start to relax. Sipping on the alcohol, she lets her mind wander. Thoughts she doesn't want, come unbidden though, and tears roll down her cheeks. She didn't let Jimin see her cry, but she can't hold them in anymore. It may have been 5 years, but seeing him in front of her, made it feel like yesterday... It was supposed to be 3 days without them... What a joke...

~~~~~

I walk into the kindergarten, and one of the teachers approaches me right away. I smile and give her a quick bow, which she returns.

"Naeun-ssi. How are you today?"

"I'm doing fine, thank you. How are you?"

"It's been a good day. I wanted to talk to you about Mi-Hi. Do you have a few minutes?"

I agreed and followed her to an office. When we were both seated, she explained that Mi-Hi is still not speaking at all. She only says Mama or Papa. She tells me that she does call Ye-Jun by name, but not often, and mostly if she's upset. All I can do is nod. It's a sad fact that Mi-Hi has some developmental delays, but there isn't much to be done that isn't being tried.

There are a few treatments that the doctors, and even her teachers have mentioned, but they are extremely expensive. Knowing what's coming next, I school my face to not display my annoyance.

"Why does their mother not get the treatments that can help poor Mi-Hi?"

"Although I agree that the treatments could help Mi-Hi... I am not her mother. I will however, mention it to her again, and see if she's close to having the money to start with them. Thank you for letting me know your concerns."

I stand from the chair before I let this meddling little bitch know what I really think. She has no idea what Haerin, and these kids, have been through. I enter the room with the children again and see Ye-Jun playing with some other children. I don't see Mi-Hi at first, until I walk a little further. The small angel is sitting alone, playing with a plushie and humming a song.

As I approach her, I'm stunned by the sound of the music coming just from her humming. It's such a pure sound, and she has a great sense of rhythm. I listen a little longer and suddenly realize she is humming a BTS song. I can't help but grin at that. Haerin wouldn't like it... She wouldn't like it at all...

"Aunty Naeun!!"

Ye-Jun's voice rings out, causing Mi-Hi to stop her humming and look up at me. I smile at her and she jumps into my arms.

"Mama!!"

"Yes... We're going to see your Mama soon. Are you hungry?"

Ye-Jun cheers that he wants pizza, and Mi-Hi just keeps chanting Mama... I help the twins gather their stuff, and we head out to find some food. I know Haerin needs some time to herself after today's meeting. I just hope she doesn't drink too much again.

When we're walking to the pizza place, Ye-Jun asks me something that makes me halt my steps.

"Aunty? Who is my Papa?"

I stare at his serious face, and wish I could answer all his questions. These aren't my answers to give him though, and I don't want to hurt Haerin.

"Ye-Jun-ah... He is a great man. I'm sure when you meet him someday, you'll love him very much."

"Papa?"

I look at Mi-Hi who is pointing somewhere. I see a few men walking by, and I chuckle. Every man is 'Papa' to her right now. When the men move away, she says it again, pointing still. I turn and my jaw drops some at the fact that she is pointing at a poster of BTS.

"yes... that's papa."

I whisper to her so Ye-Jun doesn't hear. Mi-Hi won't tell of my betrayal, and she deserves to know that she's right. She should know her 'Papa' is one of the men in the poster.

~~~~~

"Mama!!" The voices make their way through her foggy brain, and she turns to her beautiful twins running to hug her.

"My babies!! How was your day? Were you good?"

"Yes Mama! We had dance class, and you won't believe it Mama..."

"What? Tell me all your good news babies."

"Tomorrow, a real life idol is going to come and teach us! Can you believe it Mama?"

Her smile falters, but she brings it back to not have them notice. It wouldn't be them anyway... They're too big to teach a dance class at a kindergarten.

"That's great!! I hope you have fun!!"

"Maybe we'll be idols one day Mama. Then Papa would have to meet with us."

Her heart broke at the statement of her child. She'd thought they didn't wonder about him, but obviously she's wrong. She can't even explain to them about him, so she's felt lucky that they haven't ever asked before.

"Oh... I'm sorry my babies... I didn't know you were yearning for your Papa. I thought we were happy, just us 3, and Aunty Naeun."

"We are happy Mama!! You're the best! We're just curious... Did he not love us Mama?"

"I don't want to talk anymore about it! Enough of this conversation! Go wash up for dinner."

She knew her anger was wrong. She's not even mad at their curiosities about him... But she sacrificed everything for them and she'll be damned if he'll swoop in and be super-dad after all she's been through. He left... He wasn't there... He has no idea... The things she was forced to do... The ways she suffered...

She watches her angels walk away dejectedly, and feels the guilt that gnaws at her gut. Sighing, she gets up from her chair and heads to make something for them to eat. She'd lost her appetite at this point, but she'll make their favorite and hope they'll forgive her outburst.

Before she dirties a dish, Naeun stops her, letting her know that they already ate. Haerin let's out a sigh and pulls a 3rd bottle of soju from the fridge. Naeun excuses herself to go check on the kids, and get away from the sight of Haerin getting drunk. She understands why Haerin is doing this, but it still hurts Naeun to see her like this. It hurts that she'd couldn't save them back then.

~~~~~

"Hyung? What's the matter with you today? You forgot the practice, and Tae Hyung says that you were crying..."

Jeongguk limps his way into Jimin's shared room with Hoseok. As he plops on the bed he notices that Jimin isn't looking at him, but only at his phone.

"Hyung? What are you looking at?"

"Ah... It's nothing Jeongguk-ah... I had a bad headache earlier, that's why I cried."

"Taehyung Hyung said that you told him you saw someone that upset you. You can tell me you know, right?"

"I'm ok... Thanks though."

Jeongguk knows that his friend is hiding something from him. He also knows that Jimin won't tell him until he's ready.

"I'm thinking of going to get some ice cream. Do you want to come with?"

"Nah... You shouldn't walk too much on that knee either."

"I'll take a car. I'll bring you something back though. What flavor do you want?"

"I can't decide without seeing my choices... I guess I'll just go with you."

He doesn't show it, but Jeongguk is celebrating his manipulation of his Hyung. He knew Jimin wouldn't be able to resist ice cream.

The two friends get out of the dorm, and head to a nearby ice cream place. Jimin seems to cheer up as soon as the sweet scents fill his nose. They order their confections, and take a seat while waiting for them to be prepared.

"So, Hyung? I ran into someone today..."

Jimin's heart pounds in his chest thinking maybe Jeongguk ran into Haerin also. He doesn't say anything and waits for Jeongguk to continue.

"I was shocked to see her, but we had a nice talk. I have a date this weekend with her."

Jeongguk is blushing, and Jimin is utterly confused. Haerin was so angry when he saw her. Is it just him that she hates? He deserves it for deserting his best friend for fame... But... Didn't Jeongguk also commit the same 'crime'? His thoughts are all over there place until he hears what Jeongguk says next.

"She asked about you too... You remember her, right?"

"I'm sorry Jeongguk... Who are you talking about?"

"I knew you weren't listening... I met Somi today when I went for coffee. We're going out for dinner this weekend."

"WHAT?!? THAT BITCH?!?"

"Hyung? She's changed... You can't still be angry at her for things that happened when you were in high school..."

"You are really going to go out with her? Even knowing what she did to the girl you used to love?"

"Hyuuung... That was a long time ago..."

"So you've moved on? You don't care about Hae anymore?"

"That's not fair Hyung... I'll always love Haerin. It's just... We haven't been together in a long time, and I'm sure she's moved on. Who wouldn't want her? I bet she's engaged with a perfect life..."

"I don't think so Jeongguk... But you tell yourself whatever you need to, in order to sleep at night."

"Why do you sound mad Hyung? I've never loved anyone but Haerin. She's known where to contact us since our debut, and she never even sent a letter or anything."

"You think it was that easy? You really think SHE should have contacted US?"

"What's going on Hyung?"

"Listen Jeongguk... I didn't want to tell you this... I think we really screwed up. I also saw someone from our past today..."

"Who Hyung?"

"Haerin"

Jeongguk's heart stops, and his eyes water. He has blocked all memories of her for the last few years because it's too painful. He loved her with everything in him, but he had to let her go. Now she's here? She's in Seoul? His next words come out as a whisper.

"haerin... you saw her? where? how is she? did you get a phone number?"

"No, I didn't... She hates me... She wouldn't speak with me... We fucked up Jeongguk..."

"What do you mean? You're her best friend Hyung."

"I guess not anymore... We cut her off Gguk... We said we would see her in 3 days... It's been 5 years Jeongguk."

"Shit... So now what?"

"Now... nothing... I don't know why she was here. Maybe she's just visiting... Whatever it was, she didn't want to talk to me. She said we left her and never looked back."

"We... She means me too? She hates me too?"

"Sorry Gguk... I think it's safe to say she wouldn't want to see you either. We broke our promises to her... for fame... And today I wonder if it's worth it."

Like fate is messing with him, Jeongguk's phone chimes with a new message. He looks down, and frown takes over his face.

"Who is it Gguk?"

"Somi"

_________________________

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