Long chapter. 7000 words. Be prepared to put everything into sections if you need to. Also, dirty jokes.
27/5/18
7339 Words

Alex
I'm tired.

But I can't tell if I'm sleeping.

Or dreaming.

Or even thinking.

I'm trapped.

I'm closed off, in this stupidly tiny void.

I can hardly call it a void.

But I'm stuck in a cluster of all my distorted thoughts.

But I don't know if I'm thinking.

It's like I'm tossing and turning through a night of terrible slumber,

But I'm not even moving.

I'm trapped.

I'm tired.

Slipping back into consciousness felt like lights slowly dimming into a unsettling, shacked up room. Although that did not repel on Alexander's current surroundings- white lights were blazing at his eyes angrily, over lighting the room with a unecerssary amount of light. The ceiling and walls that finally blurred into his view were a pale white at every direction, far too much of a dull and boring colour pallet, to Alexander's idea of it. His head hurt excruciatingly.

From the corner of his eye, a small figure was hunched onto a chair next to the bed, back fully away from Alex. It took Alexander a while to blink the figure clearer into his view until realising it was just John, blaring his eyes at the television screen.

"John." Alex found a way to lift his heavy arm up and tug at the boy's black sweater hard enough for him to notice. John darted his head around in alarm, then smiled in relief.

"Lexi. How are you feeling?" John leaned forward to place a kiss on Alex's forhead: and from all of a sudden it felt like all the jumbled thoughts he couldn't understand or pin down were loosened up and steeped away.

"I'm feelin' fine. What's... going on?" Alex mumbled, pulling away and yawing. He didn't realised how ravenous his stomach felt until he stretched out a bit.

He turned to face John, who was rubbing his arm anxiously. "I found you on the ground unconscious. They took you into the hospital, they said you were severely dehydrated." John filled Alex in, occasionally yawning a small bit before returning to his explanation. Alex felt the pit in his stomach drop, letting the memories of his last conscious moments before passing out. He felt horrified for putting John (and what he would imagine others as well) through such worry and trouble.

"Oh god, John. I'm so sorry. I didn't take care of myself, I just thought-"

"Lex, I need you taking care of yourself! All of us were worried about you, we were so concerned! I knew I should of done more to get you to eat..." John muttered the last sentence more like a mental note to himself than to Alex.

Alexander felt a shiver tingle through his spine. "I'm sorry, Freckles. I'll try and remind myself to eat and sleep."

John wagged a finger. "Uh uh, it's 'I'll do', not 'I'll try'. You fishblub."

Alex couldn't help but chuckle. His boyfriend was too flippin adorable. If he was being frank with himself, he wouldn't have the ability (or strength) to do anything else at that moment but to carry on timelessly with John. He stifled another yawn and felt his jaw crack and release tension. "How long was I out?"

John moved his hand over to Alexander's pale arm and brushed it up and down in a figurative way, absentmindedly doodling little hearts and stars. "Um...well, since I found you at lunchtime yesterday, I guess at least more than 12 hours."

"And what time is it now?"

"Somewhere between 2 and 2:30 in the morning."

"What? And you're still awake?" Alex felt slightly guilty, but more sluggish and exhausted.

"Yeah. Well, I wanted to make sure you were okay, Lex. If you aren't taking care of yourself, someone has to." John grinned in the most heartwarming and sincere way that Alexander felt like holding John in his arms till the end of the fucking world.

"Alright. Thank you, Freckles. But you need to sleep too."

"Says Mr.Sleep-is-for-the-weak!" John snorted, his nose scrunching up in a laugh. Again, too fucking adorable for Alex's weak heart. Alex reached out his hand to the back of John's neck, pulling him down closer to his face and smiling at John's smitten expression until their noses brushed against each other.

"I love you." Alex sighed, mindlessly counting a cluster of chestnut freckles on John's left cheek.

"I love you too. So much. Please don't scare me like that ever again." John pleaded in a whisper, leaning more from his seat to wrap his arms around Alex's spine and neck. Alex felt the familiar warm breath tingle over his ear.

"I won't. Never ever."

For the next few hours, Alex and John remained side by side, laughing along to the tv sitcom on television.

During one of the ad breaks a familiar ad came on, a shortened up commercial of the EarWax Wonder, and Alex nearly chocked on air. "Oh my god. John, look at the screen."

"Wha- oh. O-oh." Alex theorised that John's expression was from the fact that this ad was playing when they had first had their... 'accidental make out session'. John had felt guilty over it for a while until Alex was told that Eliza somehow pried it out of John to tell her, and she just laughed hysterically.

Alex caught John sneaking a glance of embarrassment, then turned his head towards the tv.

The Caribbean teen grinned. "You started it."

John spun his head around in protest, obviously flustered. "Excuse me?! You kissed me first!"

"Who sat on my knee, hm?" Alex retorted with a sly smirk.

"I- well, if you just gave me the damn popcorn, I wouldn't have sat on your flipping knee!" John hissed, visibly holding in a giggle.

"What can I say, I'm a hogger. And what did we say about no swearing, Peaches~?" Alex poked his tongue out.

John's eyes widened in a bashful manner and shyly brought his head down to face his lap. "G-goddamn you, Alexander."

"I heard that."

"Agh, just shut up already!" John groaned and lifted his body slightly off the chair to swiftly connect Alex's lips with his own.

"Mhm. That shut me up alright." Alex mumbled between the kiss, pulling John's head closer to deepen their lips together.

John drew closer to Alex, placing a hand on Alex's waist warmly. "Thank the heavens, he's silent for once. Talk less, Hamilton." He drew from Alex's lips and placed a finger on them in a hushing gesture with a sly smirk. God, it drew Alex insane when John expressed his luring behaviour, specifically because that side of John would rarely come out of its turtle shell.

"Since when have you called me Hamilton?"

"Since now."

After a while of more chatter, the two boys finally fell asleep, John curling up in the armchair (he wouldn't sleep on the bed with Alex in fear that he would do something wrong) and Alex dozing off in the hospital bed. His levels were sustained, and the nurses had came in to hand him a light snack to destroy his hunger. He was hopeful to get out as soon as possible.

"Yo, HamMan! You in here?"

"Why the actual fuck, Peggy." Alex cursed at the bird yellow dressed teen standing at the hospital fords doorway, in sight of the two boys. It was around 12pm, multiple hours after Alexander had woken up- and his head felt monitored and sustained again, minus the occasional minor dizzy spells.

Calling Alexander a ridiculous nickname in private was hysterical, but in public his levels of deadpanning would skyrocket to the roof. John just kicked back in the chair and gasped for breath when he used too much for laughing. Very helpful.

"What can I say? Wow, you're looking somewhat better, John. What time did you guys fall asleep last night?" Peggy laughed, commenting on John's somewhat tamed hair.

"Around 3:30. Lex woke up around 2am or something." John replied, still rubbing his teary eyes.

"Aha!" Peggy threw her hands up in the air in almost like an aggressive samurai dance way and yelled. "I smell improvement!"

"How in god's world do you see improvement in that." Alex asked in a monotone voice. Before his question could be answered, Eliza walked through the door, grasping an array of different coloured flowers.

"Alex, you're awake! How are you feeling?" Eliza gave John a quick kiss on the forehead (lest Alexander felt a somewhat jealous pang) and a squeeze before turning to Alexander, setting the bouquet of flowers in his hand.

"I'm doing fine, I guess." Although his neck felt slightly stiff from sleeping for more than half a day, and his stomach felt quite empty, but furthermore his dizziness levels had dropped immensely and for once his eyes didn't feel like they were carrying eye bags the weight of trucks.

"See, John? I told you this would be beneficial for his health!" Peggy exclaimed, receiving a scoff an a whack on the arm from Eliza.

John sighed, lifting Alexander's hand up and intertwining his fingers. "I mean, it wouldn't have been that bad if I knew he was drinking water."

"Did you two visit me while I was out?" Alex blurted out, suddenly curious.

"Um...yes. After you passed out, we followed the Ambulance in my car to the hospital. We left shortly after arriving, but John insisted to stay." Eliza summarised, more like a report than an answer to his question.

"Awww, Peaches. You're too sweet." Alex leaned over the bed rails and slung his right arm over John's shoulder, snuggling his nose into John's right warm cheek.

Eliza cooed, and Peggy mimicked a retching sound.

"Hey. You guys know that the Christmas Slumber Party is happening soon?" Peggy asked, twirling around the room with uncoordinated footsteps.

"In a few weeks." John nodded, pulling a lever to release the bed rails down so that he could easily lay his head on Alexander's lap.

"What's... that?" Alex, the newest to the group's shenanigans and traditions, tilted his head and twisted his pale fingers through John's curled locks.

Eliza held her finger up as a gesture of a beginning explanation, but Peggy had already started rambling before Eliza could open her mouth.

"Ah! Every year at Christmas we play Kris Kringle, it's an old tradition for the Schuyler family and on the 23rd of December, we host a slumber party! Mostly it's about the Kris Kringle, but we do plenty of other shit as well! Like hot chocolate, opening normal gifts to each other, and truth or dare at early in the morning! It's so fun! But we have to draw the KK soon before we don't have time left."

"We also did it on the 23rd because most of us would be with relatives or friends." Eliza added. Alex mentally rolled his eyes, As if I'll be spending any time with my relatives. Thank god no one has found out about them, yet.

"Oh. Makes sense."

"When will you be out of the hospital?" John mumbled, turning his head around to look at Alex directly.

Alexander didn't have the slightest clue. He was edging more close to very soon, more so around today or tomorrow. He tucked a small auburn curl behind John's ear and cupped the side of his cheek. "Soon, Freckles. I'm pretty sure something like this would need much attending to."

"Alright, you lovebirds. Gross." Peggy snickered, inching closer to the exit. "I'm going to get a coffee from downstairs. You guys want anything?"

"The coffees are gross in hospitals." Eliza scrunched up her nose in revulsion.

Alex crossed his arms. "Actually, it's really good. I've tried some before."

"You try saying that after 14 years experience of hospital coffee." Eliza deadpanned. "Besides, you think every coffee is good coffee."

"I... hmph." Alex huffed, knowing he was a beat egg.

John (direct, trying something new)
The day of the Christmas Slumber Party. I stood in wait outside the Schuyler's mansion after ringing the bell. The crispy snow that fell piled up to the last step on the marble stairway, and occasionally dusting its way onto my shoulders or gray beanie. Please excuse my knack of spelling things in an Australian way then an American way. I have weird spelling tendencies.

Peggy soon flung the door open, seeming to be finishing a sentence before peering down at me and beaming. "Johnny!"
She wasted no time in jumping into my arms and swinging her legs around, nearly toppling me over and choking me from her grasp in one go.

"Agh- Peggles! H-Hey! I missed you!" College had been dismissed for the holidays a few weeks ago, and Alex had been released out of the hospital a few days after he was placed in. They explained they needed to urgently test Alexander's blood levels and other medical issues and care. It was not a big deal to be concerned over.

On the other hand, I had not seen Alex for weeks. We were texting daily, but I just didn't have any time to meet up with him or visit him- I couldn't risk slaking on my job. I had picked up my full time shift routine again, I had to so that I could keep up financially. With the addition of Squirt's pet food, I needed enough to keep up. Not that my father wouldn't support me.

But I missed Alexander so much. My heart throbbed every millisecond with longing for Alex's presence. I was so used to rolling over on our bed in the morning and opening my eyes to my sleeping Alexander, overruled with tranquility. I couldn't wait to see him again. To feel his arms weapon around me in security. I missed him so much it physically stung.

"I know, it's been so long!" Peggy squealed, setting herself down and grabbing my arm like a 4 year old and pulled me inside.

"I mean, its's been only...around 2 weeks? That's not too long." I objected and rolled my eyes as Peggy dragged me through the fine halls. I had spent a lot of my time here growing up as a child; my father and Mr. Schuyler were business partners at one point of their era, so I had spent enough of my childhood in the Schuyler mansion to know every corner off by heart.

Peggy finally turned into an open room that had mattresses, bunk beds, pillows and blankets sprawled all over the place. In the middle of a mattress Eliza and Angie were wrapped in two blankets and holding a draw of cards, seeming to be in the middle of a card game. Theo was watching on on another mattress near them. "Johnny's here!" Peggy screamed, seeing how no one had payed attention to our arrival.

The three girls shot their heads up then practically jumped from the mattresses and building a group hug with each girl. My bones were getting crushed with every squeeze. "H-Hi."

"John, I haven't seen you for weeks!" Eliza squealed once everyone released me.

"You literally just came to work with me last Tuesday."

"Pshhh, tomato, patato."

One by one, more of us started arriving at the Schuyler mansion. I took a mattress a few from the centre and curled up in a blanket and chatting gleefully with Peggy. Still, after Laf and Herc arrived, Alex had not shown up yet. Had he gotten lost? Was he even coming?

Another ring of the bell chimed through the house and soon Maria was ushered through the room.

I'm hoping to god that he comes. I can't bear to be without him for another day. The pain is unbearable and too much.

I forget the sounds around me and watch on as Peggy grabs Maria into a suggestive hug. They better be getting it on soon, I swear.

I didn't notice that another doorbell followed after Maria until another figure entered the doorway. I looked up with a groan. Alexander, my dear Alexander was standing tall, his hair tied in a low ponytail and his cheeks rosy with the snowy weather. My heart leaped. "Alex!" I stumbled to stand up and shrugged the blanket off, skipping towards him. I threw my arms around his soft neck, nuzzling into his shoulder blade with a cry of exhilaration.

"John, I missed you so much." Alex hummed. I felt his hand clasp on to a lock of my hair, holding me tighter and closer to him. Not that I was complaining at all.

His skin was just the moderate, usual tone that I was used to, his chocolate eyes hadn't changed any shade, and his warm body temperature radiated into my skin and gave me warmth and tingles.

"Me too." I cupped his cheek, my finger trailing circles on his gentle skin. His skin was so soft and masculine, I missed having the feeling of it. I missed him desperately.

Leaning in closer to sense his quickening breath, I pushed my lips on to his and felt my heart bubble. Alexander was just the same, charming, intelligent teen that I fell for in the first place. It just came to show how that I didn't know how bad that I needed him in my life until he was gone.

He wrapped his arms around my hips and slightly grinned. "I missed you more than anything."

"God, get a fucking room!" Peggy yelped from a bunk bed; I whipped my head over to the Schuyler, who was smirking. "But I still ship it." Tag yourself as Peggy. I fucking dare you.

All the others started pummelling Alex with hugs- when Eliza came up to hug him, I automatically became extremely cautious. All that she did though was screech and babble on to him in this indescribable language. After having a rough and extremely loud conversation, the two looked at me as if I had understood everything they had said.

After a short while, after Aaron finally arrived, Angelica finally stood up- in the middle of all the mattresses and beds, there was a hexagonal shaped podium that was quite hard to explain, but it was like a step and levelled above all, possibly could fit three people comfortably. She hopped on it, clearing her throat to get everyone's attention.

"Listen up, bitches! Everything is about to start, so take a goddamn seat and listen."

I lead Alex over to the mattress that I took a liking to beforehand, and threw the blanket over us.

"So, are we all familiar with the events of this night and the rules?"

"Fuck the rules." Peggy screamed into a pillow, barely enough for us to hear. We giggled idiotically.

"Yeah, Okay Pegs. Now shut up." Angie clapped her hands together as if she was the teacher in a classroom. "Okay, first, we start with the Kris Kringle gifts. This will lead to the snowman building competition, then the hot cocoa by the fire while playing truth or dare, and by this time it will be around dinner. We have gathered together a feast together and hopefully you'll like it. Then after that, we pretty much around and play games and have pillow fights for the whole night, until 12am, then the real competition will start." She ended with a smirk. I knew what this competition was, unlike Alex, who raised his hand in confusion.

"What the heck is the competition about?" He called out, tilting his head.

"It's a survival to see who stays up for the longest. No caffeine or sugar, and it starts at 12 am." Burr explained, who stood against the doorway, "So far, only Angelica, Herc and I have won. It's Maria's first competition, or Christmas Slumber Party as well, so we don't know what you and her are capable of."

"This is a scam," I heard Laf hiss across the room to Hercules, "Alex is obviously gonna win. He's a living nocturnal." Causing a little snicker from Herc.

"I heard that," Alex hissed back, and I felt my chest heave with laughter.

"Okay, everyone! Settle the fuck down!" Angie bellowed, stepping off the hexagon stool and onto Eliza and her mattress. "You remember how it goes. Close your eyes as one person goes into the middle to put the gift down. Peek if you want, it will just ruin it for you." Angie winked before continuing, "And remember, you have three chances to guess who gave you the present. Everyone place their KK gifts in the middle. No telling anyone your Kris Kringle!"

Everyone closed their eyes as one by one everyone put their presents in the middle. When it was my turn, I placed my  present in the middle. The wrapping paper was easy to determine it was Peggy's; golden coloured wrapping paper. It was just her colour, her theme. I had given her a set of yellow headphones that my father gave me when I was little but never did i use it. I knew this would be a real treat for her.

I returned to my mattress and wrapped my arm around Alex's firm shoulders and shielding his eyes with my hands so that he couldn't see. "Pfft- John!" I smiled, listening to his broad laugh until all 10 presents were stacked upon each other. Each gift was then dispensed out to everyone with name tags on the wrapping.

"Okay, Laf, you can go first." Angie instructed, and Lafayette instantly ripped open the wrapping, holding up a hard covered book that showed a baguette on one side. I grinned, knowing that this was Hercules doing; and it seemed that Laf knew as well. "Okay, you have three guesses. Who do you think it is?"

"Hercules," Lafayette responded with a thick accent almost immediately. Herc slapped his knee in frustration.

"Goddamnit, i didn't think you'd get it."

After another few goes (Peggy had given up an couldn't guess who gave the headphones to her), it was my turn. I carefully opened the package and I felt a smile creep over my lips as I held up the shamrock sweater I always wore. So this is where it went!

"Turn it around, Peaches." Alex hummed.

I turned it around and found that on the other side, a lighter shade of green fabric, the same texture as the sweater, knitted a shape of a turtle. I nearly squealed. It was like the whole jumper was customised mainly for my fitting. It technically was, but so nothing did it matter to me. I threw the sweater that I once despised over my head and beamed. "I love it!"

I didn't even had to guess who gave me this. I looked over at Alex and gave him a sly smirk. "So you took my jumper. You sneaky thing." I kissed his nose with a tease, but then pulled him into a tight hug. "Thankyou." I heard other swoons and gushes around me and I quickly turned away, feeling my cheeks flush.

The Kris Kringle activity took more than 30 minutes, and although it got a slight bit boring at some times, I found good ways to entertain myself by guessing along with others and examining each other's overjoyed faces.

"Can we go out for the snow fight now?" Peggy moaned after Kris Kringle had died down and everyone was just quietly talking. Peggy seemed to cause a small stir, because all of a sudden everyone started hooting in agreement and scooting outside. I kept my shoulder touching with Alexander's while clasping our fingers together.       

The snow had become heavier, and another thick layer of snow had been applied to the previous snow, and a sprinkle of snow was dusted onto branches and trees, like icing sugar powdered onto cupcakes for decoration. The enormous lawn that spread out for hundreds of meters, even thousands, were suffocated under piles of snow- much to the delight of us. I grinned ear to ear. This was one of my favourite activities during the slumber party: the snow fights and snow angels. Because there was such a huge lawn, there were different statues, hedges and islands that were installed to take up space; but we used them as shelters for each team. One of the best advantages.

I tugged at Alex's hand to lead him into the middle of the courtyard- but he kept rooted on the spot. I turned around, perplexed. "Lex? What's up?"

Alex shook his head then spoke with a mellow, but hesitant voice. "I've never seen snow. Not where I've came from."

I smiled gently, surprised that Alexander was slightly reluctant about touching snow for the first time. "Oh, okay then. I'll guide you through it. It's no biggie."

Alex opened his mouth to say something else, but nodded his head and closed it. I held both of his hands while guiding him down to the middle of the lawn, where everyone was gathered in a small group. I knelt down and shoveled a pocket of snow up with my hands- stiff and soft, and so freezing that it was unbearably hot.

I stood over the snow that crunched beneath my black boots, and Alexander was still standing on a snow bare step. The snow started melting at my burning skin, and I quickly but gently placed the rolled up snow in his cupped hands. He squirmed a bit before letting it rest loosely in his hands. "Huh. It's not that bad." Alex concluded after poking his fingers in it a couple of times.

I smirked. "Wait until you get into the snowball fight."

"You said that when we played volleyball that one time at the beach." Alex remarked with a monotone voice.

"Mhm. And was it brutal, or not?"

"Ah. Very brutal." Alex mumbled, squelching the snow between his fingers and letting it fall to the ground. I giggled. Boy, did he not know.

"Come on. Someone's bound to start it soon." I grabbed Alexander's now wet hand from the snow and pulled him next to Laf, who was in the middle of sculpting a somewhat snowman.

"Someone? Are there any rules?"

Now that I was addressed about it and thought, there weren't any rules. Just a lot of yelling and war cries. "I mean, no. There aren't. But usually we just wait until someone throws the first snowball. It just happens that way. We know it's bound to happen, but once it does everyone blows a fuse and starts... uh, you'll understand when it happens." I reassured him, noticing the stricken expression on his face.

I sat down in the snow stiffly, knowing that we would erupt any minute now. "Lex, sit down! The snow won't hurt you~"

Alex scoffed and slumped to his knees, blowing a strand of hair out of his face as he started fumbling with the snow around him. There was a comfortable, yet tense grasp in the air that made me want to speed time up until the moment happens. Whoever decides to throw the snowball better do it quick.

I watched as Alex's expression grew from reluctant, to uncomfortable, to curious. His wondered expression was too much for me to handle.

"You know you look adorable when you're quizzical." I blurted out, my hands automatically flying to my face.

Alex's rose cheeks grew even more pink as he stared up at me in amusement.

Shoot, I did not mean to say that out loud, I scolded myself, but he is my boyfriend. I don't see a problem in it.

He was about to retort and opened his mouth, when a unexpected ball of snow had splattered onto the back of Alexander's head. He yelped and slightly rose from his knees, while I threw my hands to my mouth. I knew what was about to happen next.

A twitching smile cracked at the corners of my lips, darting my eyes over to the source of the snowball. Peggy seemed to be responsible, seeing how she was on the cusp of falling over with laughter. I turned back to Alex and gave him a sly smirk. "Get ready. You'll need it."

I quickly conjured up a snowball in the frost and aimed it at Peggy, not taking a second glance. It hit her square in the shoulder. The somewhat guilty teen screeched, whipping her head towards me. I was in for it now. "Oh my cheetos, John. You are so fucking dead!" She screamed with a shrill cackle, violently snatching up Maria's wrist and scattering towards a sheltering hedge. It seemed like everyone started to do so, grabbing the nearest person closest to them and darting off to a defence for shelter.

"John, what the heck-" Alex nearly yelled with a tone of insecurity as i flung through a maze of hedges, dragging him along with me. This maze was used by the sisters and I when we were little, we would always play games inside and loose each other. But one wrong turn, and we could be facing another pair who might catch us off guard and try to attack us.

I giggled, still tugging Alexander along with me. "Come on, this way!" The maze is endless, though. So you can get a lot of privacy in here. I beamed as I caught a glimmer of the fountain in the middle of the maze- and we skidded to a halt, skimpering to the fountain.

  I prowled the edges of the hedges as Alex took a seat at the fountain and rolling his eyes at me. I grinned. "You should be helping too, Lex. We might get attacked." I turned around and beaded my eyes through the bushes, holding a snowball for weapon and scanning for movement.

I did not notice that Alex had snuck behind me until i felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist. Immediately i felt like I would get distracted during this game. "A-Alex. What are you doing."

He said nothing but watched me with his chin on my shoulder. I rolled my eyes and continued guarding the hedges. If he wasn't as cute as he was, I would of shooed him off.

After a while, I decided that we would be safe, and let my shoulders sag a bit in relaxation. Alex was still holding onto me, and I groaned in frustration. It was not that I was getting annoyed at him, it was just that I could barely do anything properly knowing that Alex was leaning on my back. I grew more flustered by the second. "A-Are you gonna get off of me, o-or what?"

"You're so cute when you're flustered." Alex remarked, finally letting go of me and sitting on the fountain edge.

"I..." My cheeks grew hotter as I sat down beside him. "T-Thanks, I guess?"

Alex scooted closer to me, making me internally panic. Wait, why am I getting heated up? He's my freaking boyfriend. Maybe it was because of the fact that I still couldn't believe he was mine. I wrapped my arm around his, conjoining them and put my other hand on his cheek. He rested his lips on mine as if it was a casualty.

"Why the hell are you so beautiful?" Alex breathed, a slight wonder in his tone.

I gushed, mainly because hardly anyone has called me beautiful.

Maybe it's because you're not, and Alex is only playing around with you. A doubtful voice sneered in my consciousness. I winced, ignoring the voice and replying to Alex. "I don't know, I-I mean- thanks? S-So are you, you know."

Alex turned a small shade of salmon (say that 10 times fast.) and gave me a bashful smile. "No... you look better than I ever will."

"Don't say that Alex." I cooed, brushing my hand through his ponytail and gazing at him fondly.

Yeah Alex. Don't say that, because it's not true.

I stopped. "What?"

"What? I didn't mean it against myself at all, Peaches. But really, you are beautiful." Alex teased, as if he was completely unaware of my self doubt.

Wait, my self doubt? If it was my self doubt, he would not be able to hear it, would he?

Wait, wasn't that a voice? What is my self doubt?

"John?"

I snapped my head up, straining a grin without thinking. "Oh, sorry. Got a bit lost."

Alex nodded cautiously. Oh, god. Please don't let him see I'm lying. The last time that happened, it didn't go well. I thought to myself in utter horror.

"GET FUCKED, LOVEBIRDS!"

I whipped my head around. Peggy. Before I could retort to her, a cold sensation rippled through my spine as a heap of cold, sloppy snow was thrown square at my face. I toppled over, Alex following as he was clinging onto me.

"Peggy, shame on you!" I screamed, voice cracking. Alex was in a heap of giggles, holding onto me for support.

She cackled in pure amusement; Maria, who was in the middle of rushing to gather up more snowballs, stopped and humorously screeched. A very Peggy like thing to do.

I hauled myself and Alex up, combining a snowball and throwing it at Maria.

She dodged it, grinning. "You missed me!" Maria teased, flinging another snowball at us. I shrieked, parting with Alex and taking shelter behind the fountain.

I scanned around. There was no way to back them out, they had already invaded. We had to make a run for it.

"Alex, run!" I yelled, laughing as I passed Peggy and smashed a snowball square in her own face.

"JOHN, YOU FUCKING ASS! WE'LL GET YOU BACK!" Peggy screeched, flinging another snowball at us but missing horrendously.

Alex followed up behind me, panting as we tried to exit the maze. "Okay, you were right. This is as brutal as volleyball."

My lips spread into a wry smile. "Oh, most definitely."

Candles were lightly lit and the flame wavered like flags in the wind; while all of us had settled down into nesting couches and comfy armchairs, the roasting fireplace had as well started burning. The flames crackled as if it was snapping a perfectly mannered conversation with the candle flame.

I sat limply and cross legged on a sagging couch with Alexander; leaning onto his side and nestling my head in the crook of his neck. The atmosphere around us was filled with a merry essence and the scent of hot cocoa. Although I was at peace and tranquil in thoughts, the others around me did not speak my mind.

Eliza had accidentally snorted hot chocolate up her nose, Peggy and Maria were engulfed in a full on war as they dealt out a card game, both Laf and Maria were on sugar highs (and surprisingly, Peggy wasn't), and Herc had engaged others in a competition in who could make the most bubbles with a straw with their hot chocolate. The only tamed ones seemed to be Aaron, Theo, Lexi and I.

Finally, once Eliza had drained all the hot chocolate from her nose into the sink, her voice raised higher as she addressed the group. "You know, guys, I think that dinner should be cancelled."

Everyone shot their head up, muttering enquirers and curious glances.

"Why?" I spoke up louder than the other chatter.

Eliza grinned wryly, a mischievous smirk that she also engaged with when she blew up that fire hydrant with Alex. "Because, this will make an interesting competition twist."

I blinked sluggishly, still not understanding her concept. "Okay? But how?"

"Because, if everyone's high on sugar, when our levels go down it will be pure chaos." Eliza wiggled her eyebrows. "Picture it like this; everyone's going good for the first few hours because we get a boost from all the sugar- but when the sugar runs out, everyone will be extremely tired. Even worse than if we didn't have sugar. This will make it even harder for us to stay awake. Get it?"

"That makes sense." Angie added on, "I mean, were we ever going to actually eat? We usually just grab some snacks and go in these sleepovers anyway. How about we just get started on Truth or Dare?"

A choir of mumbled agreements surfed the room. I grew excited; again, the dares we pry out of these games are slightly irrational and merely alarming in ways. It's not your average 'Truth or Dare' with any of us.

"I'm gonna start." Theo clamped her hands together mischievously. "Eliza. Truth or dare?"

Eliza narrowed her eyes. "Truth."

Theo glanced away for a second and snickered, then turned back. "Okay. If you had to choose between going naked or having your thoughts appear in thought bubbles above your head for everyone to read, which would you choose?"

Eliza turned a flush of unreadable crimson while everyone gasped in amusement and anticipation. I smirked. Theo was really good at truth or dare- I do reason to myself that Theo has quite a solemn and straight face- not to mention an extremely laid back attitude.

"I... um..." Eliza sat upright, her eyes steaming at the ground. "I think... the latter. Mainly because I might be rational, but at least i have my dignity."

"I'd go naked." Peggy added on simply.

"Mainly because you'd want Maria to see you." I remarked with a smirk. I flung my hands to my mouth and my eyes widened. Oh my god I did' the just say that.

Peggy grew a shade of blood red while everyone 'oohed' at her and laughed. Actually, in contrast, I was quite proud of myself.

Eliza spoke. "John, Truth or Dare?"

Upon hearing my name I stopped dead in my tracks. "T-Truth."

"Have you ever tried taking a sexy picture of yourself?" Eliza gave me a sly grin.

I sat bedazzled. "What? I-I don't get it."

"Aaahaha! H-He doesn't get it!" Herc sputtered out among my quizzical look. Indeed, I had no idea what she meant. How on earth would a photo fall into a suggestive category? More or less, I knew that it had to be something dirty- seeing the faces that everyone was pulling. I love them, but seriously, these guys have the dirty minds of grade 2 boys that snicker at the word "bum" or grade 6 boys who pretend to 'jack off in class', as I'm told. To this day i still don't know what that means.

"I understand, but what purpose would a photo like that do for?" I tilted my head.

"Oh, I don't know..." Maria rubbed the back of her neck, "To impress another?"

I blinked. I still had not a clue or idea. However, Alex beside me seemed to get the memo. He was a laughing mess, wheezing into my shoulder and clasping onto my hand. "You- You are adorably priceless, peaches."

"Pfff, no I'm not." I let my mouth slip into a smile and leaned onto Alex for his support. I have to wonder to myself how Alex can make little actions so cute.

"Well, let's just say he hasn't. For now." Laf rolled his eyes with a slight giggle.

Thank the heavens for my pure mind and that I've been blessed with it. I let out a yawn before I spoke. "It's my turn. Um... Alex. Truth or dare."

Alex shifted his arms and nuzzled them into my side. "Dare."

I clapped my hands mischievously- I had accumulated a dare this whole night, I finally had found one that might work. "Fill your mouth with water, and each person in the group must tell the funniest joke they know. If you spit up the water, you have to eat a spoonful of dirt."

Alex whipped his head around and stared at me. "Seriously?! Where did you come up with a dare like that?!"

"Oh, I found it here and there." I felt a giggle rise in my throat.

Alex sighed, shifting up into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water. Taking a gulp and letting it remain in his mouth, he sat in the middle of the circle, giving a thumbs up.

"I'll start." Herc, who was in front of Alex, raised his hand. "What do a penis and a Rubik's Cubes have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets."

Oh dear. So it's going to be like these kinds of jokes. Jokes that I don't understand but are probably dirty. Everyone either groaned in disgust or howled with laughter. Alex held back a snicker and turned to Laf.

Lafayette grinned. "Yes. My turn. Quelle est la différence entre ton copain et un préservatif? Les préservatifs ont évolué: ils ne sont plus aussi épais et insensibles."

I admit, I understood what he actually said, but in context, no clue. However, Angie, Laf, Aaron and Hercules were brutally on the edge of spilling their guts out. Alex didn't seem to crack though- his face radiated seriousness, and he seemed dead concentrated. Although his cheeks were as big as a chipmunks, I still thought he looked adorable.

"My turn!" Peggy smiled. "What did the penis say to the vagina?" She led us to a dramatic pause by taking a huge gulp of her hot chocolate (or maybe Maria's, she might have finished hers and started on Maria's without anyone noticing). I flinched. Of course, another 'sex' joke, I supposed. She looked up at us with a dirty grin. "Don't make me come in there!"

This made Alex loose it. He cupped his hand over his mouth as an attempt to hold the water in, but it was no use and the water sprayed over his lap as he giggled. Everyone started to hoot with cackles and screams. All I did was yawn. The day I start to understand these jokes, I will loose my virginity. And I don't want that happening anytime soon. I'm not even sure why I know what 'virginity' even is.

Everyone started to rise from their seats and made their way outside to the patio- I felt my knees buckle before me as i tried to stand. I didn't know I was so tired.

The air was breezy and chilly, i could see my own breath puffing out of my lungs. (Wtf?) the moon and stars were distinguishable from the deep grey clouds above. I rubbed my arms to shake away the cold and stood next to Aaron and Peggy as Alex shuffled down the stairs.

Quite surprisingly, the ground was not dirt. It was snow. "Um. How is Al supposed to eat dirt when there is no dirt?" I questioned.

"He eats the snow." Burr mumbled in a monotone voice.

I sighed softly and stumbled inside, taking a seat back down on our couch and wrapping a blanket around me. I stared blankly out into the fire, waiting for the others. It seemed like ages for them to arrive back inside.

I dialled my thoughts back to the snowfight- in the hedge. Those thoughts, the voice. It just seemed so twisted to think about. It was as if when I thought about it, my thoughts and theories became clear, but then scrambled them up in an array of stumbles. Everything just was so confusing.

My head slumped back and i fluttered my eyes closed, the squeals and shrieks outside drowning out. Maybe if i just forgot about the voice, it would stop. But is the voice even listening to me now? Am I driving the voice?

What voice? There's no voice. What am I on about, its my self consciousness. Calm down. I felt my shoulders loosen and my chin relax. I decided to let myself doze off for a bit while i waited for the others to return. Maybe I might not even wake up, that would be controversial.

But I knew that my slumber would linger mor than a few minutes, nor an eternity. More like a long stretched, 10 hour nap.

Quick note- FUCKING WATTPAD WONT LET ME REPLY TO COMMENTS AGAIN, IM LOOSING MY SHIT.