"Do you know what I like about you, Leon?" Lucinda grumbled while pulling leaves from her hair as she mixed different ingredients together, hoping to relieve some of Jacob's pain.

"What?" Leon asked, his lips quirking up slightly at the corner. He had dumped a small pile of leaves on her head — ones he claimed were for medicine — and knew he would be paying the price later on.

Lucinda shot him a sarcastic smile. "Nothing," she answered, "absolutely nothing." Dorian snorted from across the room as he dug through his bag.

"Nothing," Leon mocked under his breath. "Nothing at all."

"I didn't even say that," Lucinda laughed, shaking her head.

"Behave yourselves, you three," Carlisle reprimanded as he tried to fight off a smile.

"Pfft, this is good behaviour," Dorian laughed as he shook his head.

"If Kane we're here he' tell you that's a lie," Leon muttered.

Lucinda felt her heart clench — as it did each time the love of her life was mentioned — but she forced a smile. "I think it's finished," she murmured, holding the glass cup over to Carlisle. The doctor grimaced at the sight of the murky green liquid inside that filled it half way.

"Are you sure this won't kill him?" Carlisle asked her skeptically.

Lucinda rolled her eyes. "That was one time, Carlisle," she muttered. "Let it go."

"Alright," the doctor sighed wearily. Dorian snorted as the three left Jacob's room nudging and pushing each other as they went.

"It should take away the pain for a few hours until the bones are at least nearly mended," Lucinda explained to Billy Black with a forced smile. "If something goes wrong, or you think there's a problem, just call Carlisle. He'll let me know."

"Thank you," Billy whispered, looking up at her with utter sincerity. Lucinda cleared her throat awkwardly and walked away, her heels clicking on the pavement and the Adam's brothers walking on either side of her.

"I didn't die, you know."

Lucinda paused mid step and spun around, her hair lifting up and falling on her right shoulder. She searched for the source of the voice, and almost smiled when she saw Seth Clearwater standing there, playing with his fingers nervously.

"I can see that," she mused, tilting her head to the side.

Seth glanced at his friends for help, but they gave him encouraging thumbs up.

"You said that if I live through this, that you'll try to have a civil conversation with me," Seth reminded her. Lucinda glanced at Leon — mentally cursing herself for saying that — and he nodded.

"Then I suppose I owe you a semi-civil conversation," Lucinda agreed, shooting him a falsely dazzling smile. Seth's eyes widened a fraction. "I have already made plans this week to visit family up in Alaska, but would next Tuesday work?" She asked, and he nodded rapidly.

"Just give me a day and it'll work," he promised. Lucinda could see his shoulders relax as she nodded.

"So next Tuesday then," she murmured. After shooting him a small — unbelievably small — smile, Lucinda climbed into the front seat of Leon's pick-up truck and the three were on their way.

"That was nice of you," Dorian commented, sticking his head between the two front seats. Lucinda shot him a small glare before focusing her gaze outside the window.

"She isn't talking to us," Leon explained, a slight frown on his lips.

"Actually, the one I'm not talking to is you, Leon," she snorted, "but I know that if I talk to Dorian, you'll get all sulky and complain until we get home and I don't really feel like listening to that." Dorian let out a quiet cackle and nodded, knowing that she was right.

"I don't sulk," Leon argued, his lips forming a pout. Lucinda quirked her brow, gesturing to his expression, and he let out a groan. "I might argue, but I don't sulk," he muttered, scrunching his nose up in annoyance.

"You definitely sulk," Dorian grinned.

Leon rolled his eyes, grumbling quietly under his breath to no one in particular.

As the car grew quiet, Lucinda felt herself growing tired.

It could have been dread weighing down her limbs, but she honestly wasn't sure.

How could she be?

As far as she was concerned, no one had ever done what she was about to do — or what she had done seven hundred years earlier — so this was all new to her. It could put Lucinda in history books.

Again.

•••

Lucinda spun the glass bottle in her fingertips, her vision focused on the small little flecks whirling around inside.

She let out a shaky breath and closed her eyes.

She wanted to have Kane with her, or even Virginia Whether — the quirky witch who'd helped her rid her mind of all it's grief — but knew deep down in her heart that it wasn't likely it would happen.

She let out a shaky breath and opened her eyes, setting the bottle down on her bedside table to stare at. Her hands trembled at her aides, and she knew she would regret her decision, but she had to be fair to Seth.

If Lucinda wanted to have a civil, genuine conversation with the boy she was supposed to spend the next few decades with, then she would damn well do it right.

She poured the vile into a small cup she'd filled with ingredients — some coffee grounds, herbs, as well as ashes from a fire — and grimaced. She had managed to find an ancient bottle of rum she'd kept from the old village of Harpoon, and had it held tightly in the opposite hand.

Lucinda swallowed thickly and brought the vile up to her lips, allowing its contents past her lips. She spluttered for a moment, the ash tasting powdery and sour in her mouth. After taking a swig from the old brown glass bottle, she let out a shaky breath.

Her hands began to tremble as an ache formed in her chest, and she let out a quiet whimper. Lucinda felt her eyes fill with tears as it grew stronger, and she was curled up in a ball on her bed with her knees up to her chest before she knew it.

She felt the pain, the hurt, but more importantly, the guilt.

The guilt for not having her potion finished fast enough.

For not saving him like Alec had all but begged her to.

For taking the lives of innocent people simply because they told her she was cold.

It felt as if there were weights tied to her ankles, dragging her deeper and deeper into the pits of hell.

And God, did she feel like she deserved it.

A/N
An emotional scene is coming up that I'm really excited for you guys to see :)
H.