Dear Journal,

I apologize for my tardiness once more, but I believe this is going to be my last entry. This may be a longer one due to what's happened in the past 12 hours or so...

Lieutenant Hank Anderson of the DPD passed away today at 4:01 PM due to a heart attack. He was sitting beside me when he started having chest pains, but he refused to say anything to me. I didn't know...

Soon, the shortness of breath came upon him and I noticed immediately. I tried to help him breathe, scanning him to find he was going into cardiac arrest. He collapsed on me, in which I laid him on the ground, on his back. Sumo whined, but I ignored him. I yelled for a medical android to help me, starting CPR as Hank passed out. A few rushed over, along with Markus, North, and Josh. The medical droids took over for me, and I backed up. I stood beside Markus, all of us watching intently as Hank's life slipped from this world.

There was nothing they could do to save him, I knew it, but somehow I still had hope. I still had hope he wouldn't die.

It was all... Surreal.

They couldn't save him though. They never can, can they?

Hank was pronounced deceased nearly an hour later. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I stood shaking. The medical droids all bowed their heads, knowing they'd failed their mission. I was in shock.

Markus put a gentle hand on my shoulder as the medics picked Hank up and carried him out the back doors of the church. I quickly followed, though I'm not sure why. Many other deviants followed behind us, Markus still beside me. Some deviants began digging a shallow grave, for it was all we could do.

We stood in a semicircle around them, Markus and I in the center. More tears rolled down my cheeks as they laid Hank's lifeless body to rest. Everybody took turns putting a handful of dirt over him. I didn't realize so many deviants cared about Hank...

He was pretty much buried by the time it reached our turn. Markus and I walked slowly to Hank's grave, Markus grabbing some dirt first. He laid it on the top, about where Hank's chest would be, then patted it down like the others. He then backed up and looked to me. I was moving in slow motion. Almost painfully slow... But I couldn't get myself to go any faster.

I cupped some dirt in my hands.

I laid it atop Hank.

I patted it down.

And I cried.

I stood beside Markus and started crying. The other deviants slowly dispersed, leaving just Markus and I. He put his hand on my shoulder once more, squeezed it gently, then silently left. When he was gone, I fell to my knees beside Hank's grave.

I stayed there for a while, just staring at the lifeless mound before me. I heard someone approach me, looking to them after a moment. It was Markus, carrying Sumo. He whispered to me, "I'm so sorry, Connor."

I moved quickly as Markus set Sumo on the ground. He was still alive, but barely. I pulled Sumo's head into my lap as he breathed weakly. I knew it was my fault.

"I'm so sorry, Sumo." I said as I cried. "But soon, you'll be with Hank, wherever he went."

Sumo weakly lifted his head to lick my face, as if he was forgiving me. I sobbed and hugged Sumo gently as I felt his breath get weaker and weaker.

Soon, his breathing ceased and I was clinging to a lifeless dog, engulfed in sobs. Markus and I buried Sumo at Hank's feet, for that's where he always liked to lay.

If only they were still here...

I sat beside their graves for a long time, just crying. Markus wanted to stay, but had things to attend to. I thought about Hank and Sumo being reunited wherever they went. Then, I thought about Hank finding his son, Cole. How Cole and Sumo would get along and play together. They'd be the best of friends.

I soon moved to the open room Markus showed me. I walked to the edge of that plank, contemplating suicide once more.

What was holding me back now?

What IS holding me back?

Hank was... Now, he's gone. What's stopping me?

Why can't I just take that step into oblivion?

Perhaps it's my self-preservation programming. Doesn't it understand how I feel?

Maybe I think it's not worth it. Just as violence breeds violence, perhaps death breeds death.

Maybe one day... Hank and I will meet again...

Maybe I really am a living being... With a soul...

Maybe not.

Markus told us the time for anger was over... but I'm angry at myself. How could I let Sumo die? That was on me. Hank... I should've watched over him closer. Now, I have nobody.

This is my fault, isn't it?

And here I am, standing on this plank, ready to take the next step into nothingness.

Maybe I'll take the chance... Maybe I'll see Hank and Sumo again. Maybe I'll even meet Cole.

Maybe I won't...

~Connor