I feel as if I am spinning out of control, tumbling down a dark hole with no way out. How is it possible that the only guy I have developed any sort of feeling for in years has a picture of one of the people I hold closest to my heart.

As if a freezing bucket of water spilled over his head, Zach's tall frame goes rigid, and a crease starts to form between his brows. "Connor is, and will always be my best friend."

Quickly glancing down at the mess I made on the floor, I say, "I'm sorry about your floor, but I have to go."

Moving as if my life depends on it, my short legs make a dash for the door, and as it slams, I hear Zach yell my name.

Once I'm safely in my car, I bang my hands repeatedly against the steering wheel and let out a gut-wrenching cry. My tight chest feels as if it is about to burst, and my breaths become deep with pain. My sobs become soft whimpers as I rest my head against the wheel, desperately trying to process what just happened.

When I hear my passenger door open, I snap up and quickly wipe away the evidence of my breakdown.

Sliding across the leather seat, Zach places my bag on the center console before staring absentmindedly out the windshield. "I take it you knew Connor?"

Just hearing his name roll off Zach's tongue causes moisture to pool in the corner of my eyes. I nod my head and bite so hard on my bottom lip that I begin to taste the familiar metallic tang of blood on my tongue. "Yes... I mean, no."

Zach faces me with an arched brow, "Then how do you know who he is?"

Using the back of my hand, I wipe away the silent tears rolling down my cheek. "It's complicated." A part of me is still embarrassed about how my relationship with The Newman's came to be, and I have conflicting feelings on sharing that information with him. With a defeated sigh, I whisper, "He saved my life, I owe everything to him."

"I don't understand."

There is no way around it; I have to tell him the truth. Trying to figure out how to explain my story, my leg starts to take on a mind of its own and begins to bounce. Zach reaches out and plants his palm on my knee and starts to rub comforting strokes with his thumb. The moment he makes contact, I feel a surge of electricity flow through my body, confirming my heart's intuition. "I know about Connor through Adele and Bruce."

The silence surrounding us is unsettling, the air becomes stiff, and the close confines of the car causes warmth to spread across my body.

Zach swallows so hard, his Adam's apple bobs. "I'm going to need a moment to process this. I wasn't expecting you to know about my dead best friend."

Shocked by his use of words, my mouth drops to the floor. "That was a little crass, don't you think?"

Shrugging his broad shoulders, he looks over to me with a sparkle in his eyes. "It's just the way we were. I don't expect you to understand, not yet at least."

His intense gaze never leaves mine until my stomach growls from lack of substance.

The car fills with laughter, and Zach pats circles on his abdomen. "I'm starving too, but I have a feeling we're going to need some privacy for this conversation." Zach reaches for my face and brushes away my falling tears. "That's if you still want to go out with me. I really like you, Gemma."

His admission flows from his mouth like a song, one I want to hear over and over again. Moistening my dry lips, I lean in and place a soft kiss on his cheek. "I like you too."

As I go to pull away, Zach captures my mouth with his.

There is something different about this kiss; it is slow, intimate, and sets my soul on fire. I don't just see fireworks, but my future, and for the first time, I'm not scared to see where I end up because I know it's somewhere with him.

When we separate, I yearn for more. We might have a lot more to learn about each other, and my heart is telling me to dive right in.

Placing the key in the ignition, I bring the car to life. "Where are we off to?"

Zach lazily leans his head against the headrest and points right as we are about to pull out of the parking lot. "I know a great sandwich place, or we could get some nice greasy burgers that might help cure that hangover."

The thought of fried food makes my stomach roll but still sounds delicious. "I vote for burgers. Lead the way."

We pull up to this little restaurant that is tucked away off the main road. Zach holds the door open for me, and when I walk through, I can tell that this place is a hidden gem, tables filled with people laughing like old friends.

The menu is nothing elaborate but appears to have everything that makes my mouth water. My eyes scan my options and almost lose my footing when Zach suddenly slings his powerful arm over my shoulder. "I'm used to an eleven-year-old hugging me, not some mega muscled man."

Zack's smirk sends shivers up my spine. "Come on. They aren't that big."

I appreciate his attempt at modesty, but when I look down at his free arm, I can't help but roll my eyes. "Your muscles have muscles."

Glancing down at his body, he shrugs his broad shoulders and says, "I guess that's what happens when you are a college athlete, and even after graduation, you can't give up training. It's been a part of my life for so long. It's just who I am."

"I didn't know you played a sport in college," I say as I nudge my elbow gently into his side. "What did you play?"

His eyes sparkle as if he remembers his favorite memory. "Football."

Of course, he played football.

"I owe it all to Connor." I can't help but close my eyes and concentrate on my breathing, because it feels as if someone punched me in the stomach. Almost as if he could sense my unease, Zach reaches for my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. "But we will talk more about that later. I can tell that this is hard for you."

Placing my hand on his chest, I find the strength to admit what is going through my mind when I feel his powerful heartbeat against my fingertips. "I don't want you to think that talking about Connor makes me uncomfortable. It has more to do with the fact that I am going to have to open up about an incredibly shitty time in my life, one that I am not proud of. It might very well show me in a new light, one that you don't like."

Zach leans in and presses his lips against my forehead, and the intimate gesture sends my heart soaring. "I'll be the judge of that."

I thought that with how busy the place was, we would be waiting for a while, and was pleasantly surprised how quickly our order was ready.

When I go to take out some money, Zach stops me. "I've waited three months to take you out, let me pay."

With a sigh, I place my wallet back in my bag and point my finger into his firm chest. "Fine, but next time is on me."

"We'll see," he says with a wink.

Sliding back into the car, and no idea where our next destination is, Zach directs me across town to a park. I know we live close to the ocean, but the cove's glistening water nearly takes my breath away.

The offshore breeze offsets the burning sun making this the perfect place to settle down and enjoy our time together. We find an open picnic table by the shore, and although the food smells delicious, I can't eat. The pit in my stomach reminds me of the conversation we are about to have and the chance that I am going soon be destroying the picture Zach has of me in his mind.

My knee begins to bounce uncontrollably, and Zach pushes the food aside before reaching over the table to grasps my hand. "Are you okay?"

"Not at all," I answer honestly. My gaze falls everywhere but the blue ones that I have grown to adore. Part of me just wants to stay in this safe little bubble, but I also know that if I don't get this weight off my shoulders soon, I will crumble.

Shifting from side to side, I take a deep breath and start my story. "I don't know where to start, but I guess the beginning is the best. I have been struggling to keep Dom in my custody since the day my mom left. I was only in college for two weeks, and I had to drop out to find a job to support us."

The pain my mother caused has been buried deep inside me, but as I continue to talk about it, the suffering she inflicted upon us pushes its way back up as if it happened yesterday. "She took everything, and by that I mean the money my dad left the two of us for school, and my dad's life insurance money."

Even after all these years, I still believe her cruel departure could have been slightly easier if she left us something. Anything would have helped.

"We were living in an apartment with a rent that was impossible for me to pay, so we moved. I eventually found a less than desirable place, but it was still in Dom's school district, and that was important to me. He was only eight, lost both his parents, and I didn't want him to lose his friends too. My job paid for the bills and other necessities, but we were barely staying afloat. I was used to pinching pennies, but then in February, everything became shit when I got fired for defending myself."

As Zach shakes his head, two thin lines form between his brows. "What do you mean?"

My muscles tense, and my fingernails dig into my palm as I relive that awful night. "I told some greasy fuck to stop sticking his hand up my skirt."

Clenching his jaw so tightly it causes the cords in his neck to bulge, Zach asks, "Did he hurt you?"

"No." I reach over to the top of his tightly gripped fists and lightly pull them apart. His tense posture relaxes at my touch and knowing I can soothe his nerves sends my confidence skyrocketing. "It's in the past, but it's how I came to know The Newman's."

Zach's fierce gaze anchors on to mine, and a wave of warmth washes over me, pushing me to continue. "My savings dried up rather quickly, and then Dom came down with some nasty cold. I had to make a decision, either spend my last few dollars on food or medicine to help ease his symptoms. I chose medicine."

My chin starts to tremble, and the muscles around my mouth tighten in an attempt to keep the brewing sob at bay.

"Gemma, you don't have to continue. It's okay."

I begin to fidget with the two hearts dangling from my necklace and take in a lung full of air to help control my erratic breathing. "I had all these scenarios running through my mind that all ended up with Dom and I being separated. I did something that I am incredibly ashamed of— I stole from Bruce's store.

One of his security guards caught me with a freaking loaf of bread under my sweatshirt, and cans of soup up my sleeves. It was humiliating, and I felt gross that I had to stoop so low. I honestly thought Bruce was going to turn me in, but when he started digging into my past, his hard exterior vanished, and he ended up calling Adele."

Zach runs his hand over his face and looks up to the bright sky, and my heart shatters.

God, he must think I'm such a piece of garbage.

When he brings his attention back to me, his eyes are darker than I have ever seen them. Glossed over and holding so much sadness, it makes me want to hold on to him and never let go. "I'm so sorry you and Dom had to go through that, Gemma. Thank you for sharing that with me."

His kind words cause a knot to form in the back of my throat. Swallowing hard, I say, "When I say Connor saved my life, I mean it. Adele gave me a letter he wrote right before he passed." I can no longer hold in my grief, and I finally release the tears I have been holding in. "I'm sorry, but I hate that someone so pure and kind is no longer here."

Zach wipes under his eyes with his palm, but not before a few tears fall to the surface of the wooden table. "He was the best."

"He still is. I am here today because of him." Inside my purse, I reach for a pack of tissues. My emotions are in overdrive, and now that the tears have started to flow, they don't want to stop. "He left Bruce and Adele a priceless letter, thanking them and acknowledging everything they have been though. It was beautiful."

Due to the note's personal content, I am unsure of how much I should indulge, and I shift uncomfortably against the wooden bench. "Do you know anything about Connor's last requests?"

"I know he was an organ donor and wanted to donate his body to science." Zach rubs his jaw, then lets out an audible sigh, and it's as if I am watching someone relive their worst nightmare. "He also frequently said that he was going to make sure all the kids at the hospital were taken care of."

The fact that Zach knows all this proves how much Connor valued him as a friend. I mean, he didn't even share this information with his parents until after his passing, and my heart breaks knowing that the man sitting in front of me, no longer has that friendship in his life.

"I'm not sure if you know this, but he accomplished both those things."

Zach looks up to the sky and releases a rambunctious chortle that echoes around for all to hear. "My man!"

When I see the curled smile that makes his cheeks swell, my chest fills like a balloon on the verge of popping.

"He had one last thing he wanted to do, and that was to change someone's life, that's where I come in," I say as I point to myself. "Bruce and Adele planned to pay for Princeton, but Connor knew there was a chance he wasn't going to make it there. He requested that some of the money go towards making a difference for someone and that someone happens to be me.

Looking down at my nails, I begin to pick around my cuticles and let deep-chested sigh. "I still feel such sadness when I think that someone so young had to die, but Bruce and Adele firmly believe that Connor sent me to them for a reason."

"I agree."

Looking towards Zach, confusion clouds my mind like fog on a brisk summer morning. "What do you mean?"

Zach's plump lips turn upwards, his sadness long gone and replaced with a sparkling smile that shines like the brightest star. "The moment you told me you knew about Connor, I knew he was behind having our paths cross."

"I don't understand."

Zach lets out a nervous chuckle, and my eyes fixate on the anxious man in front of me. "Well, I dated this girl for about a year and a half, and I found out a few months before graduation that she was cheating on me."

Gasping, my hands shoot up to cover my mouth. "I'm so sorry that happened to you. That must have been devastating."

Tilting his head from side to side, Zach gives me a weak smile, and my heart breaks for him. "It was at the time, but now that I'm older, I know that we most likely wouldn't have made it through the first semester of college. Connor was by my side through it all, even when he was cooped up in the hospital.

One of the last times we talked, he told me that he would find me a good girl, the right girl. He even admitted that he never liked Kelly to begin with." Zach's sparkle like the most beautiful crystal and he lets out a joyous laugh. "He literally told me that every time she spoke, he wanted to pierce his eardrums with a pencil, but he put up with her because I was happy."

As if he is my favorite storyteller, my hand cradles my cheek as I stare at him in amazement. "Can you tell me more about him?"

Zach's face lights up as his mouth curves upwards, causing slight wrinkles around his eyes to form, and I can't take my eyes off him. "What do you want to know?"

Ever since I've met The Newman's, I've asked about Connor only a handful of times because I never wanted to upset them by reliving painful memories. The fluttering in my chest intensifies, and my mind races with all the questions I have. "Everything."

"Well," Zach starts. "We met when we were in elementary school, and after that, we became like brothers. He was the one who got me into playing football, and it was his amazing talent that made me look good on the field. He was fortunate enough to finish out his senior season, but he was diagnosed not long after that."

Just like Adele and Bruce, Zach's whole face lights up when he talks about Connor, and it only makes me wish I was able to meet him more. Knowing that is impossible, I lean in closer and take in each of Zach's words as he continues his story.

"In the span of two weeks, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me, and my best friend had cancer. It all happened so quickly, and it was probably the most challenging time in my life. I know it isn't anything close to what you have been through, but it crushed me."

Zach chews nervously on his upper lip, and I want nothing more than to kiss him. Leaning over the table, I tenderly place my palm on his cheek and bring him in to meet my mouth. Goosebumps begin to rise across my body when Zach welcomes me by bringing his hand behind my neck and delicately tugging to bring me closer.

As I pull away, the pad of my thumb begins to brush against the slight stubble across his sharp jaw. "Someone very close to me once told me that our emotions make us who we are, and we should never be sorry for them.

With a raised brow, he asks, "Adele?"

Returning to my seat, I shake my head. "No, Mrs. Markus. She would love you."

Shrugging his shoulders, Zach playfully rolls his eyes, and the action causes me to giggle. "Well, I am very loveable."

A familiar chime starts playing from my phone, and my mouth starts to widen in excitement. When I glance down at my phone, I notice it's an incoming video chat. "It's Adele, should we tell her we are together?"

When Zach's alluring smile begins to widen, I spring from my seat and rush over to him. His pinky grazes my exposed skin when he places his large hand on the small of my back, and my body prickles under his smoldering touch.

I pick up the call and make sure I am the only one in the frame. "Hello?"

Greeting me, Adele is wearing her black-rimmed glasses that accentuate her vibrant green eyes. The way she lights up when she sees me fills my heart with love. "Hey, Sweetheart, how was your night?"

Trying to dull down my excitement is proving to be difficult, but I try my hardest to suppress my massive smile with a fixed expression. "It was great. Remember that guy I told you about, the one from the boat?"

Placing her elbow on her desk, she leans into her hand and wiggles her brows. "Of course, how could I forget."

"Well, I ran into him again."

Her long lashes begin to flicker in excitement. "And?"

"Well, I am with him now, would you like to say hi?"

Adele nods her head excitedly, and when I turn the phone to bring Zach into view, her eyes open wide in surprise and recognition. "MAC? Oh, my God!" Calling over her shoulder, she yells, "Bruce, come in here. It's an emergency."

Off-camera, Bruce answers his wife. "Hon, is it an actual emergency, or are you exaggerating to get me to stop what I'm doing?"

Wait, Mac? Where have I heard that name before?

And as if a light bulb goes off in my brain, I start to laugh uncontrollably. "Mac? As in the mac that cried when he got his first tattoo?"

Guilt consumes me when Zach's cheeks turn rosy red. "How do you know about that?"

Trying to lighten his embarrassment, I nudge him with my elbow and say, "I guess I know more about you than I thought."

Bruce pops into the frame, and he waves. "Hey, My Darling, happy to see you're alive." Looking to my side, he smiles. "Zach Mac, my man! How are you do—" His dark eyes dart between the two of us, and we can't help but chuckle. "Holy shit, how did this happen?"

Without missing a beat Adele and Zach say in unison, "Connor."