Aries: [riding on a horse] I'm on Kayla's horse. Neigh. Neigh.

Sadie: Get off the horse.

Aries: I can't... I'm stuck.

~~

Cancer: I wish I could block people in real life.

Pisces: Restraining order?

Scorpio: *holds up knife* Murder

~~

Cancer: Hey man, you got any shaving cream?

Virgo: No, I don't like the way it taste.

Cancer: Wait... you eat shaving cream?

Virgo: why would I eat it if I don't like the taste.
~~

Aquarius: *yells at Fire and Water signs* Your opinions suck guys

Scorpio: awe you thirsty *hold up a glass of water labeled 'Attention'*

Aquarius: What no-

Scorpio: Yes you are *lifts drink to Aquarius face*

Aquarius: *drowning sounds can be heard in the distance*

Sagittarius: *yells* Drink up!

Libra: *also drowns Sagittarius with water*

~~
Capricorn: *leans over Pisces*

Pisces: *leans towards Cap to hug*

Capricorn: I was opening the door for you.

Pisces: oh
~~

Gemini: I feel bad for Australians.

Taurus: Why?

Gemini: They had to grow up walking on their hands.

Taurus: ...

Cancer: no-

Taurus: let him finish.

~~
Virgo: I never know what to say to people at funerals

Libra: Just say "I'm sorry for your loss" and move on

Virgo: *later at a funeral* I'm sorry for your loss, move on

~~
Sagittarius: Can you do a weird favor for me without asking any questions?

Leo: isn't that the bedrock of which this friendship was founded upon
~~

Kim's grandmother: Hello, people who do not live here! I gave you (Scorpio) a key for you only.

Pisces and Cancer: ...

Scorpio: Pisces and Cancer are my friends and we were hungry.

~~
Me: There are nine chairs and twelve zodiacs. What do you do?

Gemini: Have everyone stand.

Libra: Bring in three more chairs.

Leo: The most important people can sit down. (According to Leo: Leo, Aries, Sag, Scorpio, Pieces, Cancer, Taurus, Virgo, and Libra.)

Scorpio: Kill three. (According to Scorps: Aquarius, Capricorn, and Virgo)
~~

Pisces: you better stop raising your voice at me RIGHT now.

*literally anyone*: or what?

Pisces: I'll.. ill... cry and I really don't want to be embarrassed right now.

Capricorn: *hands Pie a stuffed fish*
~~

Libra: Everyone, what is Gemini's shirt color?

Taurus: Grey

Aquarius: Grey

Leo: Grey

Libra: uh-huh. Now Gemini tell them what you said your shirt color was?

Gemini: ... dark white