"I'm not really sure why. But... do you stop loving someone just because they betray you? I don't think so. That's what makes the betrayal hurt so much - pain, frustration, anger... and I still loved her. I still do."

― Brandon Sanderson, The Final Empire

* * *

Day 2 - the next morning after the reception

* * *

"Do you think there are chances he still likes Moong Dal Halwa?" Salma asked her husband as she set aside the desert.

"Don't go overboard, Salma Begum," her husband reminded her.

And yes, maybe she did need to be reminded of that. Once in a while, she did tend to do too much. But in her defense, it was Shravan they were talking about, someone she had always felt in debt for what had happened in the past...

"I just hope he does," she sighed before looking up at the clock.

Soon, they will be coming here...

And she would know how to help out the child from the messy situation he seemed to be stuck in...

And after half an hour of waiting, as she sat outside in the garden enjoying the fresh air, smiling fondly at her husband who was commenting on the current political situation in the country, their guests finally arrived. Salma and her husband stood up to welcome the newly married couple along with Ramnaath. And while her husband and Ramnaath met warmly, Salma's attention was on the couple walking their way. She witnessed something that probably showed something meaningful between the newlywed couple that went something like this; while walking in the garden, due to a gust of wind the pallu of Suman's sari had gotten stuck in the thorn of rose bushes just outside the garden. And when Shravan had noticed it, he had stopped to observe her for a mere second and then had walked back to stand beside her, and for a while, he had let her struggle on her own to free her sari. In the first few seconds, Suman had been gentle, but then she had gotten impatient and frustrated very quickly, and had tried forcefully to tuck her sari's pallu away. And when he had seen her doing that, Shravan's hand had raised to help her but before he could, Suman had done the job. Her sari's pallu was freed yet it had a large tear on it, leaving her standing with her eyes wide in disbelief and regret. Shravan on other hand seemed like he had expected that, he had given his wife a strange look and had sighed before walking forward without looking back.

What was that? Salma could only wonder as she saw them coming her way.

"Sorry about that, I have been thinking about cutting the thrones, they are getting dangerous," Salam said to the couple.

"It's a pity. The sari looks so beautiful on you," she complimented the younger woman with a smile.

"Suman, they are my college mates, Shafeeq and Salma," Ramnaath reintroduced them to his daughter-in-law.

"Ramnaath, once we were colleagues too, I know we aren't practicing anymore, but I am still a lawyer inside," Shafeeq complained lightly.

"Yes, yes, sorry. You were one of the best, I am glad you aren't practicing anymore or we would have been rivals," Ramnaath admitted with a laugh.

The dinner was a noisy affair with the conversation only lawyers would have on the table, so to include Suman in their conversations, Salma tried to talk to her, noticing how loud the silence was between the couple. Yet despite that, there was a strange familiarity in their gestures; they moved in almost in sync, very much aware of the other, moving in and out of each other's space, it was a sight to see how seamlessly one moved the dishes that the other liked in their visual field, all while unaware how they both were working together, for each other...

"You both seem to know each other's eating habits. Since how many years have you both known each other?" Salma asked in a light tone after observing the couple.

"Ever since Tiwari Ji became my mentor. Suman is Tiwari Ji's granddaughter," Ramnaath responded instead of the couple when neither of them answered and kept looking at each other.

"High school sweethearts then?" Shafeeq asked with a laugh as he lovingly looked at his wife.

But the newlywed couple seemed to get stiff and awkward with each question, there was something wrong and as Ramnaath kept covering and talking instead of the couple, trying to move the attention away from them, Salma's doubt solidified.

"Suman, you have to forgive us, you must be getting bored with all our lawyer talks being the only businesswoman here," Salma kindly smiled at her and moved the conversation towards what seemed like a safe option as she asked the younger woman about her work.

"I hope it's still your favorite sweet, Shravan," Salma said as soon as the deserts were placed in front of them.

"Hmm, knowing his wife is such an amazing chef, I doubt he would like it as much as he did when he was a kid," Shafeeq teased her wife with a smile, while Salma shook her head at her husband, pretending to be annoyed.

But thankfully, Shravan seemed to still like Moong dal's halwa, and hearing his compliments truly made her day. As their conversation took force once again, Salma reminded Ramnaath how her NGO was currently fighting a case that needed an international law expert, asking Shravan if he could take a pro-bono case. Hoping to have more occasions to talk with the young man as they resolved the pending case.

Shravan agreed readily, somehow too eager to work for a newlywed young man, confirming her belief that something was off. While discussing the case, he offered to start working immediately, welcoming another distraction, anything that could take him away from his reality. And as he walked into her study room to get the needed files to study the case, he stopped when he looked at the pictures on her table, recognizing the child. The little girl who once had been his companion in times when his both parents had been busy making ends meet, leaving him under the supervision of the woman now standing in front of him.

"It took me almost a decade to gain enough strength to put her picture here," Salma shared with a soft smile, her eyes fond yet filled with tears.

"She is the happiest memory of my childhood," Shravan said with a sigh.

"I am glad to hear that. You had always been mature about the situation and so kind," she said as she affectionately touched the young man's cheek, grateful to the only friend of her daughter.

And as Shravan observed her looking down at the picture of her daughter, lightly whispering her name, losing her composure for a second, her face twisting in pain before smoothing with years-old practice. She sighed, letting out a light chuckle as she wiped away the tears that had spilled from her eyes.

She was a mother who was grieving a child she had lost a decade and a half ago. A woman, a mother, yet so different than his mother, he thought as he observed the way she was forcing herself to keep calm.

"Sorry, some days are just too hard," Salma said with a smile, her eyes still filled with tears.

"They are," Shravan confirmed in a whisper.

"Anyway, here are the files, you can contact me anytime if you need anything or even come to find me in my office," she offered as she passed the material to the young man.

"How come I never knew about your NGO if we took most of your cases?" Shravan asked as they walked into the hall where others were sitting.

"I don't know, maybe Ramnaath is still worried that I will steal you away from him?" She responded with a laugh.

"Will you?" Ramnaath asked as Shravan came to sit next to him.

"Depends, have you been taking good care of him?" She joked, her eyes narrowed as if she was judging the father.

"I think we can collectively agree that he deserved far better parents," Ramnaath responded lightly, not being able to hide the reality, his regret.

"Anyway, now that you are finally taking the case, Shravan, I expect to see more of you," Salma told the young man with a gentle smile.

"Of course," he agreed with a nod readily, he now had a valid reason to run away somewhere else...

* * * *

The third week of marriage

* * *

"Suman ma'am, I had told you, Shravan sir isn't in his office," said the assistant of her husband when Suman walked out of his empty office.

And it wasn't the assistant she was doubting, it had been him, the said husband, Shravan Malhotra, who could go to any length to avoid her, even tell someone else to lie to her in order to not even have to talk to her for a few minutes. He seemed to be missing every time she called during his office time to ask about him. Somehow even with them living under the same roof, in the same room, catching a glimpse of him for more than a few minutes was becoming an impossible task.

He came in late at night, and no matter how much she tried to stay awake to talk to him, she somehow always ended up sleeping due to the tiring schedule as now she not only had to handle the growing business but also be a Malhotra Bhahu. Which meant sitting with the other three ladies and taking an interest in things she never had just to integrate. Somehow ironically her entry into the Malhotra clan has highlighted how similar and compatible Preeti was to both Kamini Chachi and Vandy Bhabhi. Her short, clean straight nails were very visible against the pretty nail art of Preeti, and her sober light clothes dimmed against Preeti's elegant taste in fashion. Vandy and Kamini soon took notice that at the end of the day, they were lucky that it had been the younger and much prettier Tiwari that Pushkar had decided to marry. And soon Suman was the sore thumb, and the three women were giggling and planning shopping trips and the next kitty party that Preeti would be introduced to...

But Suman wasn't the one to complain, in fact very grateful that her younger cousin finally was getting the attention and love she deserved and wanted from her in-laws. Now if only Suman's own husband would have been around enough, she would have been content with just his attention. But he seemed to be determined to avoid her at all costs.

So that night, she decided to not sleep on the bed, but occupy the sofa Shravan had claimed to sleep on ever since the first night, with the expectation of their reception night when he had fallen asleep on his feet and ended up sleeping on his side of the bed. And there had been a part of Suman who had hoped that from then on, he would start sleeping on his side of the bed. But no, after that night, Shravan seemed to be even more determined to avoid her, coming late and leaving before she would wake up.

So that's how she found herself leaning on his sofa, knowing that even if she fell asleep, her gentle giant husband wouldn't leave her sleep there, would wake her up and make her sleep on the bed. And that's exactly what happened...

She didn't know when she had fallen asleep, only waking up when she felt a hand carefully slipping under her upper back and then one under her knees, and pulling her up. Of course, he wouldn't let her sleep on the hard soda, yet to avoid her, he would not wake her up but just pick her up in his arms and tuck her into the cold bed.

"Shravan," She whispered, her eyes still closed after he was done tucking her.

"You were awake?" He asked her, quicking letting her hair slip away from his fingers, closing his hand into a fist in an attempt to control the urge to tuck her hair behind her ear.

"When will you stop avoiding me?" She asked, finally opening her eyes to look up at him and taking hold of his hand to stop her from running away.

And when he didn't respond, just gently attempting to free his hand from her hold, she moved to sit up on the bed and tighten her grip on him.

"When will you stop punishing me?" She asked, looking up at him, annoyed.

"I am not punishing you," he responded with a frown as if the idea hadn't occurred to him. When he finally freed his hand from her grip, he quickly moved away from her.

"Sure seems like it. You leave early and come back late, never answer my phone calls," she complained as she saw him walking away.

Yet he didn't answer her, just pulled out files some files from his bag and started frowning down at whatever he was reading.

"Answer me," she insisted as she glared at him.

"I have to submit these tomorrow, Suman," he responded in a busy manner.

And as he kept reading, Shravan kept regretting coming home early, he knew he shouldn't have. The paperwork had to be submitted soon yet his father had refused to let him stay behind at work, insisting he shouldn't work so hard for a pro-bono case, that he could take time, but he hadn't wanted to, so he had to bring the files home. But working now was becoming a difficult task to do with Suman's questions and his own headache.

"I don't care, shut off the lights and sleep," Suman insisted, observing how the circles under his eyes were becoming darker each day.

And he did shut the lights off but continued to work under the light of one of the lamps. Seeing him working under the dim light only made Suman more frustrated, why was he hell-bent on making their lives miserable? It took only a few minutes for her yet again to stop him from overworking himself, she complained about the light disturbing her sleep. But as always, Shravan never did what she expected him to, so when he stood up with his files in his hands to just walk out of the room, she stopped him.

"Where are you going?" She had asked, confused.

"I can work in the study room," he responded with a sigh.

"Yes, why don't you put a poster on our relationship status outside? As if never being at home isn't enough, you also want to take refuge in the study room so the next day everyone and their servants would know how you just can't tolerate me even for a few hours," she hissed at him, getting angry with each word.

"What do you want me to do then, Suman Tiwari?" He asked, throwing his hand up, annoyed, sleepy, irritated with a permanent headache.

She didn't know what made her angrier, his insistence to keep calling her full name without acknowledging her taking up his surname and adding it to hers or that he had the audacity to ask her what he should do as if he would actually end up doing whatever she asked him to. Or be angry at the way, he just seemed so done with her.

Why he couldn't understand she just wanted him to stop working and sleep, that no, the light wasn't what was disturbing her, it was the fear of him overworking himself and passing out the way he had a few weeks ago. Why was it so difficult to reach that conclusion for him?

"Stay, Shravan. God, you are so difficult to live with," Suman muttered, irritated.

And Shravan knew better than let her sharp words affect him, but it still somehow hurt, what she had said pierced his heart, enough to snap his defense system back to old ways and he blurted out before he could stop himself.

"You aren't a walk in the park either, Suman Tiwari,"

And the reaction that his words got out of her was even more impulsive. It took only a split second for her to reach out to something nearby to hurl at him. An action that had shocked both of them, it had been a pillow, fortunately, but the damage was done. With the hurt of her words still fresh and the unhealed wound on his palm from the first night of their wedding, even the light pillow had felt like a slap on his face...

"Shravan," she whispered his name, shocked by the gravity of her own action.

"You never change, do you, Suman?" He asked her with a tired sigh. Wounded and angered.

"I didn't mean to, I am sorry," she said earnestly.

"You never do, but that doesn't change anything," he muttered, already retreating to leave her.

"I didn't mean to, I am really sorry," she whispered, kept apologizing as she came to stand in front of him.

"Just leave me alone," he said quietly, moving away from her.

"Please, Shravan, sorry. I didn't mean to. I just wanted you to take some rest, I didn't mean to hurt you, not with my word nor with my actions," she whispered as she locked her arms around him, hiding her face in his back as she kept apologizing.

"I am just so tired of this, Sumo," he said with a sigh as he felt the back of his shirt getting wet due to her tears.

"I know, I know, and I am sorry," she responded, tightening her hold on him.

They kept slipping back into their old habits, and she kept reacting the same way and regretting, never learning. Things had to change, Suman thought to herself, she had to change, Shravan was right, it was tiring. As she apologized to him once again, she asked herself, what and how should she change in order not to repeat the same things...

* * * *

Between one to six months

* * * *

He hadn't known Suman Tiwari to be such a good liar...

Was that the right word? Shravan asked himself every time he saw her faking happiness as if she actually was happy...

If he didn't know the truth, he would have believed her...

If it wasn't him with whom she was faking to have a blissful married life, he would have believed her...

But because it was him, he knew better...

Suman Tiwari was such a skillful liar, or should he call her a pretender? Fake, more fake than the smile she forced on her lips every time she looked his way under the vigilant eyes of their family.

Has she always faked her smiles? He kept wondering, doubting every past moment whenever she had smiled so sweetly at him. Doubting her every action, even the way she filled up his glass with water, pretending to be a dutiful wife in front of his family at the dinner table. How could she act as if she was happy with him when just an hour ago, he had been welcomed home to her nagging and picking a fight over useless things - something now a quotidian for them, ever since the day they got married?

If he had been his older self, he would have let those fights get the better of him and would have fought back. Snap at her just how she wanted, give her the fight she was asking for. But now he knew better. She wanted a reaction from him, she wanted to go back to that familiar pattern of theirs where they fought, hurt each other, and then went back to each other just to repeat the toxic cycle...

But Shravan was tired now, their games were getting old, and more hurtful and he refused to give her the satisfaction of getting the reaction she wanted out of him...

So now he tried to not give her something to fight over, to begin with. When Suman complained about his habit of leaving his towel on the dressing table, he stopped getting out of the bathroom with his wet hair, when she complained about not having enough space for her clothes, he took out half of his and moved them to his office, he anyway spent more time there, and the next, he emptied his shoe rack and his bookshelf, his dressing table, leaving her no chance to pick up a fight. He walked out of her way, stayed late in the office, and made himself invisible as much as he could...

But nothing he had ever done had been right, and neither was he this time around. The whispers had started within weeks, him staying late in his office, taking more workload than he had before, moving his stuff in the office, doing everything that a newly married man wouldn't become a subject of gossip around not only the office but apparently the whole social circle...

"Shravan, do you have any idea what you are doing?" His father had asked him one day after having had enough.

"You are a newly married man, for God's sake," he had hissed at him, looking angry as he kept glaring at him.

And that's when his father had put his foot down, forcing him to stop taking on more workload, forcing him to attend the next party with Suman and behave himself, whatever that meant...

So Shravan had done as asked, he had walked by her side, had nodded at the right places, had asked the right questions, and had blinked his eyes enough times to appear alive and had hmmed enough times to appear interested. But he had been doing everything wrong, again, because once reaching home, as soon as Suman walked into now their room, she had broken down, sitting on the bed she started crying loudly. And her sudden crying as if her world was falling apart had shocked him enough to snap out of his numbness.

"Why are you crying, Suman? What happened?"

And he had kept asking her, worried and helpless, his attempts to console her only making her sobs more heartbreaking. He hadn't even known how long he had been on his knees in front of her, trying to make her talk to him so he could do something about it, to stop her from crying like that.

"Do you know, Shravan, how humiliating it is to be seen as the wife of a man who is unhappy being married to her?" She had asked when she was able to utter a few words, her voice breaking in between, barely loud enough to make sense of the words.

"What?" He had asked, confused.

"Ever since I could make sense of the words spoken about my mother, I had promised myself I won't be talked about like that. I won't let others humiliate me, I won't ever put myself in a situation where others will pity me, think I am unhappy in my marriage, but look where I am now," she had whispered with a bitter laugh.

"No one questions you, no one asks you anything, men don't get asked such questions. It's always the woman who is the target of unwanted concern, gossip, and is questioned by society as to what she has been doing wrong that her husband isn't happy with their marriage."

"I don't want others to look at me with pity, I don't want them to laugh at me, to question me on my choice to marry you. Or that if I am pregnant, or any other reason why you were forced to marry me," she had continued, her sobs shaking her shoulders as she kept wiping her tears forcefully.

"Don't you see, Shravan, what it is doing to me, don't you notice the way everyone has been looking at me ever since we got married?" She had asked, her eyes filled with unmasked pain.

And he hadn't, he really hadn't been aware of anything, he had been disconnected, forcing himself to appear and function like a normal human being, to wake up in the mornings on time, and go to work, to eat when it was time to eat, to sleep when it was time to sleep, to make sure to be out of Suman's way. There had been whispers in the office, about him, but not about her. He hadn't noticed that she had been getting affected...

Why didn't I notice? He had asked himself with a frown, his headache worsening.

"I know you aren't happy. I know the truth, I may have as well forced you to marry me," she had muttered, her breath shaking.

"You haven't. I wanted to marry you," he had whispered as he had tried to gently wipe away the tears that kept falling from her eyes.

"I have. But can't you at least tolerate me? Can't you at least acknowledge me in public, Shravan? Can you at least act like we are married?" She had asked him, desperate and tired.

"Please, at least...Can't you..." she had whispered, biting her lips to stop her sobs, unable to complete her sentence.

"Do you want me to pretend, Suman?" He then had a question that startled both of them.

"Yes..." she had answered, brokenly.

"Okay," he had nodded at her, accepting, sighing heavily, and had kept muttering the same word to himself until it had sunk in that he once again had to go back to pretending that nothing was wrong with him, that nothing had happened, that his world hadn't just shuttered and he hadn't been broken to pieces by the past multiple times, that despite all that happened between them, he was happily married, that he wasn't seeing an expiry date of their marriage and wasn't waiting for the other shoe to drop and for her to leave...

That night, while laying on the sofa he had kept thinking about what she had said, asking himself, what he actually had to do to 'act' like they were married and how he had to 'pretend', so the next morning he had done what he had seen his father doing when his mother still was with them, and what Lala Ji often kept asking Kamini Chachi.

"Suman, I can't find my watch, do you remember where I put it last night?" He had asked at the breakfast table, in front of his whole family.

And when he had looked at others, they had the same expression of shock on their faces, stopping and looking at him with their eyes wide open.

"What happened?" He had asked before sitting on the chair.

"Nothing," they all had muttered before once again getting busy with their usual morning conversations.

And when Suman had come back with his watch that had been on the dressing table where he had always left it before going to sleep, he had pulled the chair beside his for her. And when after sitting beside him she had placed a glass of juice for him, even though his father had already filled his glass for him out of habit, he still had accepted hers, muttering thanks and stretching his lips enough to resemble a smile.

"Ramnaath Bhai Sahab, you finally have to realize that Shravan has his wife now to take care of him," Lala Ji had teased with a booming laugh, and others followed the suit.

"You are right, Lala, finally I can hand over the responsibility of taking care of him to someone else," his father had said with a happy smile, seeming relieved, his laughs once again gaining that deep timbre that they always had when he was genuinely happy.

And as he had looked at his father, Shravan had admitted to himself that he would miss his father's attention on him, his caring gesture of filling his glass with juice had been the highlight of his mornings. As if noticing his gaze, his father had turned to him with a smile, a happy, proud smile.

"I am so happy, Shravan," his father had whispered, patting him on his shoulder.

And that's how, from the second month of their marriage, he started to pretend once again that everything in his life was fine because even after all that happened, he was helpless in front of Suman Tiwari's tears, and because even after what Ramnaath Malhotra done, those few words of his, the sound of his laugh and the sight of his relieved smile, for Shravan they were enough...

Enough to suffer through all the trouble, all the pain, just enough...

It shouldn't have mattered to him, seeking his father's approval, melting at the sight of his happy smiles and the sound of deep laughs, not after what had happened, not after knowing the truth, not after what his father had done...

It shouldn't matter to him, pretending to be happily married for her sake when he knew it was a matter of a few months or a few weeks, or even a few days, Suman Tiwari once again will walk away from him whenever staying married to him will become inconvenient to her, whenever things would get difficult...

But he always seemed to be so weak for his father, for Suman, due to his love for them...

So from then on, the play continued. He forced himself to accept the present, his situation, and his surroundings. He let her play the dutiful wife she wanted to appear as, let her serve him his dinner even when he hated finding her waiting for him at late night, let her choose what he would wear in the morning, let her butter the toast and hand him a cup of coffee or a glass of juice as his father smiled at them, let her send the lunch in his office, let her wrap her hand around his arm during the parties, let her lean on him and smile at him, let her do whatever she wanted to...

He let her build the story of them being happy and in love, an illusion she insisted on creating, so he let her...

And because he remembered how she had cried that night, what she had said, her painful sobs and countless tears. And because he remembered his father's relieved smile and deep laugh whenever he saw them together, Shravan forced himself to play his part as much as he could. Controlling his urge to swallow down his nausea every time she looked at him with a fake smile, tried to not flinch at her touch, and ignored the way his chest hurt every time she lied about them...

And whenever he got tired, weak, and wounded, he kept reminding himself that she didn't want others to pity her, she didn't want others to question her marriage, she didn't want others to look down on her, she didn't want others to humiliate her, and she didn't want to appear stuck in unhappy marriage even when she was, even when they both were...

So he kept letting her lie and fake the happy ever after for as long as she wanted to, knowing that soon enough she will get bored, soon enough she will once again realize that he wasn't worth the effort, and then she will leave him as she always had...

She never had lasted, never had been constant long enough for him to be assured, to believe in her claim of loving him, of her wanting to stay married to him, of wanting him...

It took only six months of them being married and it was proven that he never had been wrong in not believing her claims...

Even if that happened exactly when his heart was able to finally convince him that maybe this time around she was staying...

He had been waiting and expecting it...

Yet it still hit him hard, caught him off guard...

The next shoe fell when he had least expected...

And she finally found the one with whom she would walk away from him...

* * * *

A/N:- It took me almost two years to write this chapter. I remember thinking and planning this chapter in a different way, wanting to explore Salma's character, her past, her pain, and her and Shravan bonding and sharing. I remember thinking that I wouldn't be able to capture the loss and the pain and that I needed to work on it. And little did I know that life is unexpected in the most ironic, cruel, and painful ways...

I wasn't able to write the next chapter for such a long time but not because I didn't try but because it seemed too personal, I was not able to find words and so many things. Until I changed the way and the order I had planned to write the chapters. So here it is the next chapter...

I am not sure, not confident about this chapter, from the past two months I had been convincing myself to just publish it, just update finally, so I apologize if it's not enough, if it's not worth the wait, and if it's not how you thought things will go...

And for some reason, if you liked this chapter anyway, let me know, and if you didn't, let me know even in that case too. And if there are grammatical errors, please let me know. I feel like I have forgotten everything, can't write in the English language anymore. ; /

So be it any of the reasons, please do let me know your thoughts and feelings, I would truly appreciate constructive criticism... :)

The next chapter would be from Suman's POV, and more detailed, about what happened in these six months...

I am grateful that you waited and still remember and want to read C & R. I hope you will continue this journey along with me till the end...

Please comment and let me know your thoughts and whatever you would like to talk about... :)

Thank you! <3

* * * *