◤ jaguarpaw ◥

♔ cisgender. he/him. ♔

♔ large black smoke maine coon tom with bright golden eyes. ♔

♔ cold. aloof. rude. hostile to strangers. passionate. determined. vindictive. loyal only to his own beliefs. can come off as disloyal and uncaring. loving to the cats he is close to. has extreme ptsd. ♔

◣ ❝ if someone hates you for no reason, give that jerk a reason! ❞ ◢

❦ story ❦

"magpiefire?" jaguarkit pushed against the black and ginger she-cat with his tiny paws. "magpiefire, can i go out and play? can we go out?" he glanced at his siblings eagerly.

magpiefire grunted, blinking open one piercing yellow eye. "go away, jaguarkit. even you must be able to see that they're asleep." she nodded at the curve of her belly, where two other kits huddled together, fast asleep.

"they'll wake up, won't they? i woke up on my own, so-"

magpiefire cut jaguarkit off. "you will not wake them up just so they can play with you. go amuse yourself for now."

a rush of indignation shot through jaguarkit. "but you always let them wake me up when they want me. why do i have to play alone?"

a growl rose in magpiefire's throat. "because you are alone! you're an outcast, jaguarkit, and you know it. normal kits don't question the queens' decisions. normal kits don't talk back!"

jaguarkit's eyes widened, and he started trembling. "but i-"

"you, jaguarkit, are an outcast because you're abnormal. your appearance, your attitude, everything." magpiefire bared her fangs at the black smoke tom. "you look like some pedigree kittypet with your prettied-up coat- and with your insolence, you sound like one too."

"t-this isn't right," jaguarkit whimpered. "i'm not that different from them." but as he said the words, anxieties stung at his mind. what if magpiefire was right?

"you think i might be wrong? all i want is for you to be more like the other clan kits. someday, you will be grateful to me." magpiefire's voice rose steadily as she kept drowning the kit in her poison. "but maybe i'm just wasting my efforts. maybe i should leave you at twolegplace for some kindly twoleg to adopt this pitiful kitten!"

"mama?" one of magpiefire's litter had woken up.

magpiefire looked down on her kit, she hesitated, then leaned down rumbled a few words under her breath- inaudible to jaguarkit, but there was one thing he knew about what the tortoiseshell was mewing: they were much kinder words than what she always used on him. because i'm not like them...

the kit closed its eyes, and magpiefire shot one more baleful glare at jaguarkit. "you're lucky i'm not leaving you to fend for yourself against bitter leaf-bare and hungry foxes. i hope hornetstar makes you an apprentice soon, because then you're not my problem anymore." magpiefire finished her jibe with a warning swipe, her claws extended before turning away, still growling, ears flattened against her skull.

jaguarkit quivered in the shadows of the den, his golden eyes so wide the whites showed around the irises in an eerie ring. why did magpiefire hate him? was he really the problem? would things ever get better?

would he ever get better?