"Are you nervous?" Adam asked me in the booth of a McDonalds. I shoved my hands in between my thighs and the sticky red seat, trying my hardest not to seem like I was freaking out. Obviously, it wasn't going so well.

"Yes. You?"

"A bit," he sighed, glancing eagerly out the window. Honestly, I didn't blame him for wanting to get out of there. It was an exceptionally hot July morning and we were stuck inside a place that reeked of hamburgers and body odour. It was disgustingly humid, like the fans on the ceiling were just waving everyone's sweat around. "Why did I suggest we meet them here?"

I pushed my lemonade up to my forehead and let the icy glass cool off my face. "Because you were in the mood for chips and it was one in the morning."

"Right," he said as he leaned his head down on the sticky table. I smiled and grabbed his hand from his lap.

Up front, the little door bell rang. Both of our heads shot up, hoping it was someone we expected. Lucky for us, it was. Standing in the doorway was a tall Chinese woman with her hair cut perfectly at her chin and a flip phone pressed up to her ear as she typed away on a smartphone. Adam took a deep breath and took off his hat, running his fingers through his messy black hair. I went to let go of his hand, but he held on.

"She knows I'm gay," he whispered.

"What? Since when?"

"Since the first time you kissed me and I realised you might like me as much as I like you."

I could feel colour spreading across my freckled cheeks and I hoped it looked like I was just sunburnt, but from the way he grinned, it probably didn't. His mum sat across from us suddenly, placing both her phones into a purse and clasping her hands together.

"Hi, mum," Adam said.

"Hello, Adam," she said, a tight smile on her thin lips. She turned to me and I nearly jumped out of my seat. "You must be Elijah."

"I am... him," I said. Adam snorted and I bumped his sticky knee with mine.

"It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Thanks for coming," Adam spoke up.

His mum nodded. "Of course. I had to meet your boyfriend before you went up to Edinburgh for a month."

boyfriend

It flowed so casually off her cherry tinted lips. I liked the sound of it. Adam glanced over to me, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he squeezed my hand. He casually went back into conversation with his mum, but I could tear my eyes off him. I was just so happy to be near him, let alone call him my boyfriend.

boyfriend

"Elijah?" A pleasant voice said, causing me to jump. My mum stood next to Adam, who was doing a terrible job holding back a smirk. I bit my lip and turned my attention away from his face and over to my mum.

"Hi, mum. Where's..." I trailed off, looking around the place for anyone who resembled the stubby man that was my father. She shook her head and my heart sank. It wasn't like I expected him to be excited about meeting Adam, but I had this crazy idea he'd at least show up— maybe he'd even shake Adam's hand, or give him the "if-you-hurt-my-son-I'll-hurt-you" talk. I just wanted him to be my dad for once.

My fingers went to my arm without me even noticing, but before I could even rip into my skin, Adam put his free hand over mine.

"Ceiling tiles," he suggested, nodding upwards. I counted for a few seconds before looking back down at my mum, who was already deep in a gossipy chat with Ms. Chang.

"Sorry," I whispered to Adam.

"For what?"

"You're my boyfriend, not my therapist."

He shrugged. "Therapists are good and all, but sometimes you just need a friend... or a boyfriend, I guess. Is that what we are? Boyfriends?"

I hasn't even realised I said it, but I didn't really regret it. Saying "my boyfriend" made my stomach flip, but in a nice way. I could tell from the cheesy grin on Adam's tan face he didn't mind it all that much either.

"How about I take you on a proper date and we'll go from there," I felt myself say.

"That sounds like a good plan," he said before leaning in and kissing my cheek lightly. I was surprisingly ready to full on snog him right there in the middle of a smelly McDonalds, but his mum cleared her throat, causing us to jump away from each other a bit.

"I think your friends are here," she told us, pointing to the window behind us with a manicured finger. We turned around to find a minivan parked across two and a half spots in the car park and three heads popping out the windows. I grabbed Adam's hand as we threw our overflowing backpacks over our shoulders.

"Bye, mum."

"Call me right when you get there, Eli, or so help me I will fly up there and drag you home."

"See you later, Mum."

"Goodbye, Adam. Tell James I say hello."

Soon enough, we were shoving our backpacks into the trunk of the car and jumping into the middle row. Blake was in the back colouring on a sleeping Cade with sharpie, while Brady was sitting up front trying to guide Grace back onto the main roads.

"Why is she driving?" Blake questioned after she backed out into oncoming traffic and braked so hard he nearly jabbed Cade's eye out with his marker. "This seems super illegal."

"If I'm going to live in England, I should probably know how to get around," Grace explained, shoving crisps into her mouth with one hand and steering with the other.

"We're going to die before we even get to Oxford," Blake mumbled.

The word boyfriend would not get out of my head, even as my friends screamed and laughed. I glanced over at Adam, who was digging through his bag to find crisps. I had practically memorised his face at that point, but that didn't stop my heart from stopping every time I saw him smile, or peek his tongue out when he was thinking hard, or even just look at me with his perfect eyes.

"You incredible, Adam," I blurted out.

He pulled his head out from where it was buried in his bag and smiled, which caused me to do the same. "You're pretty great yourself, Lij, y'know that?"

"Yeah," I nodded, "I think I do."

"TO SCOTLAND!" Grace cheered, taking both hands off the wheel and swerving us a bit too far to the right.

"TO SCOTLAND!" We screamed back, the sound of Queen blasting from the radio being drowned out. Soon enough, Adam and Brady were belting the chorus to "I Want to Break Free," and the rest of us joined in.

It was a pretty odd sight: six teenagers all sat in a car screaming Queen; one boy drawing some incredibly detailed dicks on another's face, two boys chucking crisps at each other while they held hands, one girl who could not have been a worse driver, and one boy pretending he was Brian May on guitar and Roger Taylor on drums at the same time.

Yeah, I was scared out of my mind. My father didn't like me at all, I was about to leave home for a month, Grace couldn't drive for shit, and I just remembered I forgot to pack socks. I had a lot of reasons to freak out. But I looked at Adam— my boyfriend, Adam— as he dug his hand into the bag of crisps he brought along, and I really watched the way his eyes lit up when he smiled and how his cheesy grin grew when he looked at me. And I glanced around at my friends who, six months ago, I didn't think would ever speak to me, but now we were all crammed into a van almost smellier than the McDonalds and we couldn't wait to spend the next month together. I felt like crying. I didn't, but I was pretty damn close.

i am so fucking happy 

THE END

<><><>

HOLY SHIT ITS OVER

It's bittersweet, really. I'm so glad I can put this whole thing out into the world for people to enjoy, but at the same time, I don't want to let it go. Eli and Adam have been written in many different stories (I really like those names together oops) but this one is by far my favorite. It's like my life and my feelings and all that sappy bullshit packed into 42 chapters. Holy cow.

Ok so imma be honest, this story took a complete 180 from the original draft. At first, Eli was straight and Adam was a figment of his imagination (but after herondaledevices read the first draft of the first chapter and said it had lgbt rep potential my bisexual ass was HOOKED), Blake's name was Raphael (I changed it bc he went by Raphe sometimes and turns out that's a part of a penis) the pool was a playground set somewhere in like Texas or something, Grace was not a real person (I'm sure a lot of you would've loved that), and Eli ran away in the original ending so worm ig idk.

I'm glad it ended up where it did, though and I'm pretty proud of how it turned out so that's good. It started off as a way for me to vent about having anxiety and being uncomfortable with my sexuality but it turned into something a lot cooler and I like that. I hope you guys do too.

So thank you all sooooooo fucking much for reading I appreciate each and every one of you. I read all your comments and I respond to as many as I can and those who've been leaving hilarious comments they make my DAY holy shit they're so funny you guys know who you are.

Love you all!! Expect more coming soon from me!

Love, Teddy