When I got home that night, all I wanted to do was take a shower and go to sleep. I hadn't been that tired since summer holiday. It was like everything that kept me awake at night was starting to fade, leaving me with all the sleep I'd missed for years. I was so ready to wrap myself up in a blanket and sleep the weekend away.

But, when I walked into my house, I was met with my father standing by the door, his arms crossed tightly around his chest. I froze in place, finally wiping off the cheesy grin that had been slapped on my face for the past few hours. "Hello," he grumbled.

"Um... hi," I said, a thousand things racing through my head as I tried to figure out what I'd done wrong to make my father speak to me.

"So, Elijah, your mother was at the match tonight," he began, "she said you played the whole time."

I nodded slowly. "I did."

"You made three goals, then?"

"Yes."

"Well," he patted me lightly on the shoulder, "good for you."

I blinked. "...sorry?"

"I said you did good."

"Oh," I squeaked, trying to keep my jaw from dropping. That was quite possibly the closest my father has ever come to giving me a compliment.

I waited for him to go on and say something else. Maybe apologise for everything, or at least give me a few pointers on how to get better, but he stood uncomfortably, shifting his weight between both of his stubby legs. I coughed and let my eyes wander around the room, half praying he'd just leave, but also hoping he'd find another thing to say. But he didn't. Instead, he grabbed his coat from the rack beside the door. "Right. Tell your mother I'm off to Tesco," he mumbled and before I could say anything else, he was out the door.

"Wow," I muttered to myself with a snort.

"Wow is correct," my mum spoke up from the stairs. She pulled her thin lips into a smile and walked down to where I was standing.

"I didn't know you came. Why didn't you come see me after?" I asked.

She waved the idea away like it was the craziest thing I'd ever said. "I wouldn't do that. You were with your friends and I was with the Montgomerys. I didn't want to interrupt whatever you were talking about."

"You made up with them? The Montgomerys?" I questioned hopefully.

"A little while ago, yes. I explained how your dad had always grown up with different morals than us, and they seemed to understand."

I mirrored her smile. I was itching to run upstairs and text Izzy with the apology I'd been waiting to send for months, but my mum grabbed my shoulder before I could leave. "That girl you were with after the match, is that Grace?"

I nodded hesitantly. I felt a bit bad for not taking her to meet my parents, but I'd always "accidentally" planned our dates when they were out of the house. Whether that was to get time alone with her or to avoid my parents all together, I wasn't sure. "Yeah," I replied.

"Are you still seeing her?"

"No."

"Oh," she nodded. "And that taller one with the hat. That would be...?"

"Adam," I answered simply.

She nodded, a sly smirk dancing on her thin lips. "Right. He's the one you sneak off to at night."

My eyes bulged out of my head as I stood paralysed in my place. I tried to push out an explanation, but my mum just flipped her hair over her shoulder and grinned.

"H-how-?" I stammered out after completely giving up on trying to defend myself.

"I'm your mum, Eli. I know everything," she told me, "plus you aren't exactly silent when you shove open a window every night. Also you fall asleep with your mobile open a lot. I wanted to stop you, but you always came back safe and I figured you needed a place that wasn't here to relax."

I slapped my palm onto my forehead and forces myself to laugh the mortification off. "I can't believe it. I really thought I was getting away with it."

"It's alright. I understand," she told my softly, placing her frail hand on my cheek. She turned to go back upstairs, but stopped in her tracks and spun back to face me. "Blake's mum mentioned something else," she said, her face suddenly serious.

I raised an eyebrow and my mum took a deep breath, folding her thin arms in an attempt to look comfortable. "She just said that with Isabella, she didn't notice anything different until she had gotten herself a secret girlfriend..." she trailed off, staring at me like she was waiting for a reaction that could give something away.

I tried to stay neutral. I forced my hands into my pockets and I leaned against the wall to keep myself from doing something stupid. "Really?" I asked innocently.

"Really," she nodded, "and we just saw how... touchy you and that boy were. I was just wondering if-"

"Me and Adam are not dating," I stated, maybe a bit too forcefully. My mum cocked an eyebrow and nodded slowly, unconvinced. "Seriously."

"Right. I believe you," she told me, giving me a little pat on the shoulder.

oh god she knows holy shit I'm gonna be kicked out how am I meant to survive on the streets I'm gonna die from pneumonia or someth-

y'know what? fuck it

She went to walk up the stairs, but I grabbed her shoulder before she could take a step. "Wait! I mean... I'm telling the truth when I say Adam isn't my boyfriend."

"Alright," she paused, pursing her lips, "is that all?"

I shook my head, the curls plastered to my forehead with sweat springing up in every direction.

"Do you... want him to be your boyfriend?" She asked carefully. I felt like my entire body was locked in place. I just sort of stared at her, letting my wide blue eyes do the talking. After a few seconds, she nodded. "That's okay, Elijah."

"It is?"

"Of course," she told me, and I could tell she meant it by the way her small smile never wavered. It felt good to be understood, especially by my mum who I hadn't been close to in years. It was like we were rebuilding everything we'd lost. "What does this mean, then? Are you... y'know..."

I tried my best not to show how terribly awkward I felt. "I'm not gay, no. I guess..." I trailed off, realising I hadn't really thought much about it. I'd been so focused on my life falling to shit, I hadn't taken the time to really figure out what was going on. Then, it popped up like a lightbulb; a word I'd read a few times somewhere and always sort of related to, but never really thought about it as something other than a thing I might be.

bisexual

bi

hello I'm Eli and I'm bisexual

bbbbbiiiiissssseeeeeexxxxxuuuuaaaalllll

yeah that rolls off the tongue quite nice

"I think I might be bisexual. Yeah," I said. My mum nodded, a small smile playing at her thin lips. My heart was beating so fast I was afraid something was wrong. But nothing was wrong. Everything was perfect, actually.

But perfect can never last forever.

"What the fuck did you just say, Elijah?" My father spat from behind me.

I spun around to find him beet red, his forehead vein on full display as he grinded his yellow teeth together like a dog ready to attack.

"I thought you went to Tesco," I squeaked out.

"I forgot my wallet," he grumbled, spit flying from his mouth and onto my petrified face.

I glanced back at my mum who had the same terrified look on her face as me, but instead of shuffling out the room like she usually would, she took a step forward so she stood beside me. Then, she nodded up to my room, mouthing "go." I didn't give it a second thought before sprinting up to my room and out the window, calling Adam in the process.

onetwothreefourfive...

When I got to the pool, Adam was leaning against the chain link fence, his arms crossed casually across his chest and his head pointed up at the sky. In all my sad and sweaty glory, I ran up to him and put my hands on either side of him, gripping the freezing fence with such force I was almost positive it bent.

He chuckled. "Lij, what are you doing?"

"Can I kiss you?" I questioned, my words coming out in one long breath.

"What?"

"Can. I. Kiss. You?"

"Oh... um... yeah. For sure."

The constant loop of numbers melted into a puddle in my mind as I pressed my body up against his and smashed our lips together. I kissed him hard and fast, like the world was about to end and we only had seconds left. I guess my world was ending in a way, but I didn't even care in that moment. It was just me and him.

He ran his fingers through my curls and pressed his chest into mine. It wasn't sloppy or awkward or weird— actually, it was kind of perfect. His lips were addictive and I didn't want it to end, and I could tell he didn't either, because every time I broke away to catch my breath, he'd pull me right back in, clutching a fistful of my shirt.

When it ended, we pulled away panting, our lips kiss swollen and red. He smiled, then I smiled, then we fell into a fit of laughter. We looked drunk, laughing so hard we couldn't even breath anymore in the middle of a public park at night after making out for who knows how long.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to do that," he said between laughs.

"Same here."

And even though all I wanted to do was cry, I looked deep into Adam's eyes, and I smiled, because I was so bloody happy when I saw his face.

<><><>

yee yee boys only a few chapters left

A lot of you were wondering what I was gonna do to make Eli sad. Here it is :) it's not that bad because he got happy again. Do you still hate me?

Love y'all! Thanks so much for reading a always appreciate seeing new and old readers it makes me really happy to read comments even if I don't reply I read all of them

~Teddy