ONE.

jimin was a quiet student.

he kept his gaze low during the school day when he walked through the halls, listened attentively to the teacher when they taught, and only had a few close friends whom he ate lunch with and sat with in class. he had always considered himself normal, common, nothing special: just another teenage boy in the city getting ready to graduate and go off to college. his face was nothing special, his family was a normal family of his mother, father, his brother, and himself, and his grades were just average.

it was another normal wednesday morning, and jimin had suffered through his classes and made it to lunchtime.

jimin had a habit of not eating lunch. well, either that or going to the bathroom as soon as he finished. he usually sat with his friends and either ate or didn't eat, depending on whether or not his friends commented on his lunch, and then disappeared to the bathroom halfway through the lunch block until the bell rang. this wednesday afternoon, he chose to stay out of the cafeteria altogether and found himself wandering through the hallways and, eventually, up the stairs to the rooftop.

the heavy metal door creaked obnoxiously when jimin pushed it open, and jimin grimaced as he stepped through the doorway and shut the door behind him. he made his way to the edge, looking off into the distance when he heard a voice from behind.

"who are you?"

the voice came slightly raspy, emphasizing the you in an almost accusatory tone. jimin turned around and saw a thin, lanky boy with dark brown hair and dark eyes, sitting on the ground by the door with a cigarette in his hand. he took a drag and jimin watched the smoke curl above the boy's head, taking notice of his sunken cheeks and sickly skin.

"what? is this your place? you own it?"

the boy shrugged, licking his lips. "it's just that no one usually comes up here. doesn't matter." he smirked then, dropping the cigarette and standing up slowly. "what's your name?"

"jimin. third year."

"well, nice to meet you jimin," the boy said. "i'm taehyung."

TWO.

the next time jimin made his way to the rooftop, taehyung was there again, smoking another cigarette.

jimin looked to him with distaste before sitting down beside him.

"why are you here again? not hungry?"

jimin shrugged. "never am."

"are you not hungry? or do you not want to be hungry?"

taehyung cocked his head at jimin, curiously.

"you have so many questions, goddamnit. i'm trying to lose weight, okay? no more questions now."

taehyung let out a soft "oh" before he turned his head to the side and took another drag from his cigarette.

"what are you doing here then, huh? you not hungry either?"

taehyung looked away, speaking softly. "cigarettes help suppress your appetite. you should try it too, if you really hate your body so much."

okay, so taehyung clearly had no censor.

it doesn't matter because i know how to make the food come back up.

jimin didn't say the words out loud.

"is that why you're so skinny? 'cause you smoke instead of eating?"

"i'm not skinny," taehyung scoffed. "thought you said no more questions?"

not skinny. jimin thought that was bullshit. one glance at the boy and anyone could see how thin he was, with his knobby knees and fragile wrists and bony fingers that wrapped around a cigarette with too much room.

"yeah. no more questions," jimin breathed out. "let's just... sit for a while."

so they did.

THREE.

the third time jimin went to the rooftop, taehyung was crying.

he was looking out at the sky with tears filling his eyes, nose red and cheeks pink.

"why are you crying?" jimin asked, and taehyung shook his head side to side and let jimin hold him as he cried. jimin didn't comment on the bones he felt protruding through the boy's back.

when taehyung finally stopped crying, jimin pulled away, watching taehyung wipe his face with his sleeves and leave the rooftop with a soft goodbye.

FOUR.

a week later, jimin and taehyung sat together side by side again, taehyung smoking a cigarette as always.

"how do your parents not know about you smoking? can't they smell it?"

taehyung laughed softly. jimin couldn't help but notice that his laugh sounded empty, nearly sarcastic. "my mother can't smell it when our entire apartment smells like alcohol, and my father... he doesn't care."

his voice was bitter, words coated with venom and salt and set on fire like the cigarette he held in his hands.

"do they drink?"

"only my father. he's... not the best."

jimin left it at that when he noticed taehyung's voice trembling.

FIVE.

there was a bruise on taehyung's face, and when jimin asked about it, he started crying again.

he rambled desperately, and jimin held his hands tight, taehyung saying something along the lines of "he doesn't usually do this" and "he was just really really angry."

"tae, you need to calm down. please."

"i'm sorry, please don't tell? it was dad, but it really won't happen again so please don't tell jimin, please-"

"okay, okay, just... has this happened before?"

"a few times. really. just a few times. please don't tell."

taehyung was nothing but bones and skin pulled tightly over his skeletal frame, shaking and crumbling into pieces right on the rooftop and only jimin was there to see it happen.

jimin sighed. "i won't tell."

SIX.

when jimin passed out on the rooftop after starving for two days and then puking up his lunch until he was so dehydrated he couldn't see straight, taehyung sat with him in his lap until he woke up twenty minutes later.

jimin's eyes fluttered open slowly.

"looks like our sleeping beauty's finally awake."

"what the fuck happened? did i miss class?"

"just five minutes. you passed out as soon as you got through the door," taehyung said. "how long has it been since you ate something? it usually takes me five days to pass out or some shit, only if i'm not drinking enough water, so you obviously haven't eaten in a while."

"i puked earlier. i was probably dehydrated," jimin muttered, pushing himself up to a stand. "jesus though, tae, five days?"

"what, never done it before?"

jimin felt sick to his stomach. why was taehyung so nonchalant?

"do you starve yourself?"

taehyung smirked, lighting up another cigarette. "you act all concerned as if you don't do the same thing."

SEVEN.

jimin's mother found out about his eating habits.

EIGHT.

as jimin tried to find his way again, taehyung only sank deeper, and taehyung's lifeless eyes and cold hands were starting to worry jimin more and more.

taehyung was all skin and bones with half a heart, bruises in place of it.

"have you eaten today?"
jimin would ask.

and taehyung would shrug and take another drag.

every once in a while, taehyung would guiltily murmur an answer, and the guilt in his voice made jimin want to cry out.

so eventually, jimin asked him, "why do you do this to yourself?"

and then taehyung dropped his cigarette, breathing slowly.

"my father tells me shit, and i believe it, i guess."

taehyung left the rooftop without another word.

NINE.

"let's do this from now on, tae."

"what?"

"everytime you want to smoke, count to ten."

taehyung scoffed. "why? you want me to give up my cigarettes?"

"taehyung, you obviously smoke partly to avoid eating. that shit needs to stop before you starve to death."

taehyung silenced at that, looking away.

"so you count to ten, and if you still want to smoke, you just count to ten again."

"okay, but i'm still not going to eat."

"giving up your cigarettes could help you with all that too."

taehyung skin was nearly translucent, so colorless and dull he looked dead. jimin wondered how long it had been since he had last eaten.

"when did you last eat?"

the words came suddenly. jimin regretted them as soon as they left his mouth.

but taehyung merely shrugged and stood up.

"it's been a week or two. i'll eat something later."

jimin watched taehyung open the door and leave, feeling sick to his stomach.

TEN.

jimin relapsed, and taehyung was the first, and only one, to know.

by the time jimin had dropped twenty pounds and showed up to the rooftop with nothing to eat again, taehyung confronted him gently.

"jimin, have you been eating?"

"i've been fine."

he was curt with his response.

"jimin, i need you to be honest with me."

"what's it to you? it's probably been weeks since you ate something."

taehyung flinched at jimin's sudden cold tone; his words had come off so harsh. jimin seemed just as surprised, startling for a moment before speaking again. "sorry, fuck, that was uncalled for." he looked away. "it's just... god tae, i relapsed and my mom doesn't know about it."

his voice faltered and he burst into sobs that shook his shoulders, and taehyung leaned forward to hold him close. jimin was shaking uncontrollably, anxiety clouding up his senses completely.

"shit, you're shaking so much," taehyung said. "you're panicking, jimin, you need to... you need to calm down. count to ten, jimin, count to ten."

jimin counted softly, grounding himself with taehyung's voice and gentle touch. taehyung was fragile, thin and weak, but comforting nonetheless, and though jimin could feel every bone, he felt safe when taehyung held him. so safe.

so he counted to ten over and over again until his sobs ceased and his hands stopped shaking.

taehyung smelled like cigarettes, but felt like something else. something warm and safe and jimin needed it, needed him, so jimin counted to ten over and over hoping that taehyung wouldn't disappear.

a/n:
so here's a quick one shot lol. super depressing and a little choppy but i've been really busy with schoolwork and also haven't been doing the best mentally. i've lost over ten pounds at this point and my parents are noticing and getting worried. idk what to do lmao (for now my excuse is that i'm stressed because of schoolwork lol).

anyways thanks for reading !! drop some ideas of stories for me to write and i'll try writing whenever i find some free time ;)