C H A P T E R  2 4

❛ bitter sunlight ❜

QUINN

     EVEN IN THE COLD SEWERS she could still feel the heat of the flames on her skin. The explosions of the Saviors destroying their home had long faded into meaningless noise. In fact, everything felt meaningless. It was as if she'd been swallowed by a dark empty hole with no light left to cling to. There was no way out...

A blurry shape knelt down in front of her. Rough hands gently stroked her tear-stained cheeks but she couldn't bring herself to reply. Daryl didn't say a word as he sat down next to her and pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly. Quinn barely noticed it.

The explosion played on repeat inside her mind. It was all she could see, all she could think about. The grenade that flew through the window, the trembling boom that made the house crumble as though it was made of cards. The flames that consumed the rubble afterwards. He was gone.

It wasn't like she'd never considered the possibility of him dying. This was war. People died. Even if she tried to convince herself that he'd be okay, she had always carried that fear with her. But somehow, whenever she thought about him gone, she'd expected to feel angry. She'd become quite good at feeling angry lately. But this all consuming nothingness came as a surprise. There was nothing to cling to, no anger, no sadness, just nothing.

Milo was dead.

And Quinn felt as if she had joined him in the dark.

Another explosion rattled the ground. The Alexandrians hiding in the sewers winced as they crawled closer towards each other. Rick cradled Judith closer, the only lifeline he had left. He looked just as numb as Quinn felt. After all, Carl had followed Milo into that house...

Seated beside him was Michonne, who was everything but numb. She got to her feet, eyes burning with rage. She stormed towards Dwight, who was seated between their people as if he had any right to be here. "Make it stop!" she shouted.

With a strength that Quinn hadn't expected from her in this state, Michonne pulled Dwight to his feet and pushed him against the wall.

"Make them stop," she repeated with a trembling voice.

"I can't," Dwight muttered the painful truth.

"You can," Michonne replied, begging now. "You're one of them. They'll listen to you. Please."

Dwight shook his head. "They saw me helping you guys. I can't go back."

Her entire body was trembling. "Please."

Rosita got to her feet and gently placed a hand on Michonne's shoulder, forcing her to take a step back. "You said Hilltop's safe?" Rosita asked Dwight.

"Right," he said, gathering himself. "Yeah."

"We need to get everybody there," Rosita said softly to Michonne and as if to prove her point another muffled explosion rattled the sewers.

"They think all of you got away in the woods," Dwight protested. "They're out there, looking."

"They saw us going West," Rosita said. "So we won't go west."

"Your best chance is to stay here until they're gone."

Quinn could feel Daryl's chest rumble as he joined in: "No. They find us here, we're dead."

"They're almost done," Dwight insisted. "They gotta be. It wasn't about destroying the place. They don't have the ammo for that. After they let up, after they're gone, that's when we go."

No one replied. Because there was nothing to say. Dwight was right. It was far too dangerous to try and escape now.

"Okay," Rosita said at last. "We wait."

Michonne nodded and walked back towards Rick. She sat down next to him, desperately trying to swallow her tears to stay strong, for him. She had lost another child and Quinn couldn't even begin to imagine her pain.

"You sure going to Hilltop is the best idea?" Dwight asked.

Rosita glared at him. "You got a better one?"

"All of you in one place, together-"

"All of us together," Daryl interrupted him. "We'll be their worst damn nightmare."

Be their worst nightmare...The words burned right through the numbness inside of her and awoke a smoldering rage deep within her. The Saviors hadn't defeated them yet. She was still alive, most of the Alexandrians had survived the attack. And then she remembered the promise she made as she was thrown in the back of a van on the worst night of her life. She'd sworn she would kill them all.

She couldn't break that promise now. She wouldn't stop fighting until every single one of them was dead. She didn't care if it would cost her, her very soul. She was going to fight until either she was dead, or Negan and his lackeys were. Then, her brother would be avenged.

She'd scrunched Daryl's blouse in her fist as her anger swept through her very bones. The archer tenderly covered her fist with his own hand and held on to her. Silently telling her that he understood. He felt her rage, knew of her desire to kill them all. And she knew with absolute certainty that he would be by her side the whole way.

Quinn lost track of time as they waited in the darkness. It could've been hours or minutes when she finally heard the rumbling engines as the Saviors got into their trucks. Finally they were done burning and destroying their home.

"Sounds like they're letting up," Heath said.

Rosita turned to look at Dwight. "Looks like you were right. They're leaving."

"Maybe," Daryl said, eyes narrowed at the ceiling as if he suspected the Saviors to drop through it at any possible second. Upon deciding that probably wouldn't happen he turned his gaze to Rick. "Want me to take a look?"

Rick stared at him for a moment, as if the world had slowed down around him and words took longer to hear. At last, he nodded.

Daryl pulled his arms away from her and gathered his gun. "You wanna stay? Or come with?" he asked, blue eyes looking straight into hers. There was no pity within them, which she was grateful for. There was only understanding in his gaze. He would understand her reasons for staying put but would accept her reasons for coming along as well.

"I'm coming," she muttered.

He nodded and handed her a gun.

She got to her feet and followed him towards the exit of the sewer tunnel. Daryl slung the strap of his gun over his shoulder and climbed up the ladder leading to the street. He opened the manhole as carefully as possible and peaked through the round opening outside. Apparently there was no one to be seen because he opened the manhole completely and climbed out of the sewer.

Quinn was quick to follow, anything to get out of that dark and small space. As soon as she was back on the street, the sting of smoke itched in her nose. It made her eyes water and she blinked to clear her view.

The scene surrounding her made her heart tremble with rage. How many times was she going to have to witness their home being destroyed? Either claimed by the dead or claimed by other people. How many times was she going to have to muster the strength to clear up the blood and broken pieces that were left? How many times was enough?

Daryl nudged her softly. "Come on."

She blinked and pulled herself from her thoughts.

Together they walked down the street, their weapons up and ready. But except for the fires still burning, there was no danger in sight. They made their way to the gate, Daryl walking in front and Quinn covering his back. The fence was left wide open. In the distance she could already see the walkers stumbling forward, drawn by the flickering fires.

"Seems like they're gone," Daryl said.

"Yeah, seems like."

They shared a brief look and she could read in his eyes he was thinking the same thing. It was too easy to just burn everything and then leave. It wasn't Negan's style to just let everyone leave unharmed.

"We take everyone out the back door, lead them into the woods," Daryl decided.

She nodded and with their weapons up they made their way back to the manhole cover. As she crossed the street, her eyes fell upon a pile of rubble in the distance. A pile her brother was now buried under. With a quick shake of her head she forced herself to keep walking. She feared that if she were to stand still she might never find the strength to start moving again.

Daryl's gaze was burning on her skin as she walked but she refused to look at him, knowing she would break out into tears if she did. There was no time to grieve. They had to get to Hilltop before the Saviors would return.

While she kept a sharp eye on their surroundings, Daryl opened up the manhole cover and helped their people out. As silently as possible he directed them towards the back door. Steady footsteps came walking towards her and she could feel the presence of Michonne coming to a halt beside her.

"I'm sorry," her friend muttered. "He didn't deserve to die."

Quinn inhaled shakingly. "I'm sorry too, about Carl."

Michonne, her fists clenched at her side as if she could crush all of her anger and grief inside the palm of her hand.

"We should go," Quinn said softly and turned to follow the others.

The sun had risen by the time they had left Alexandria behind and made their way into the woods. They walked in an organized file, with the children and elderly in the middle and the more capable warriors on the outside.

Quinn herself walked in front, next to Daryl. His presence was currently the one thing holding her together. Every now and then he placed a hand on her back or arm to steady her, a simple sign to let her know he was still here and he wasn't going anywhere. How far they'd come...When Merle died she had wanted to comfort him but she didn't have the faintest clue how. Now, with Milo dead, comforting each other came as easy as breathing. If anyone knew what she was going through right now, it was Daryl. Yet she didn't say a word about it. She couldn't, not yet...

Daryl led them through the forest with a brisk pace. They made sure to avoid the roads, still fearing a manhunt from the Saviors. Sadly they couldn't avoid the roads completely. Pretty soon they reached a steep slope, leading down to a dried up river bed. There was an overpass made for cars but Daryl led them down into the slope instead.

They'd barely reached the bottom when the heavy roar of a car engine cut through the early morning silence. The Alexandrians huddled together and hid in the greenery as silently as they possibly could.

Quinn could feel her heart beating restlessly as she knelt down in the high grass, hoping the car would drive by. But the overpass made for a perfect lookout point. If she were looking for someone, she'd definitely stop here to take a look into the valley created by the dry river.

The Saviors seemed to be thinking the exact same thing because the car came to a halt. She could hear the sound of doors opening and being closed, followed by the familiar cracking voice coming from a radio.

"Patrols we got an orange situation. Dr. Carson and the priest might've split overnight, maybe this morning."

She exchanged a knowing glance with Rosita, who was sitting right behind her. At least now they knew for sure Gabriel was still alive. He'd been gone ever since the first attack on the Sanctuary and now they knew why. Probably captured, maybe held for leverage, just like they'd done with Sasha...

"Jeremy's green sedan is MIA, so could be in that. Go for standard search and cover in our perimeter around Hilltop. Eyeballs open."

"Patrol four copies," a female voice replied. "Come on, let's hurry it up!"

The car doors were slammed closed and the car drove away at high speed.

They waited for a little while longer until the roar of the engine was nothing more than a fading echo in an empty world. Only when the sound was truly gone, did Daryl get back to his feet and gesture for them to follow him.

Quinn threw a quick look over her shoulder to make sure everyone was accounted for before walking over towards Daryl. She was joined by Rick, who was carrying Judith in a makeshift sling and Michonne.

"We were right to stay off the roads," Daryl said, then pointed towards the treeline. "Best head into the woods right there."

Rick nodded and led the group beneath the cover of the trees with Michonne beside him. This time she and Daryl closed the line. Pretty soon they were joined by Rosita.

"Did you hear them talking on the walkie about Carson and Gabriel?" she asked.

"Yeah," Daryl nodded. "Probably heading to Hilltop, same as us."

The familiar growl and shuffling feet of walkers came from behind them. The three of them turned and raised their weapons, perfectly in sync, as if they'd been doing so their entire lives.

"Hopefully better than us," Rosita sighed before throwing her knife.

Daryl fired his arrow through the skill of another while Quinn plunged her dagger through the eye of the third one. As the corpse fell down she kicked in the skull for good measure. A dam seemed to break within her and a flood came free. With an angry growl she kicked again and again, until the world had faded away and the feeling of her boot cracking bone was the only thing left.

"Hey, hey, hey," Daryl's voice cut through the searing anger scorching her bones. With a soft but steady hand he pulled her away from the beaten corpse and held her close against his chest. "Yer alright," he whispered into her hair. "I've got you."

She tried to choke down her sobs while whipping away the tears that had crawled down her cheek. She could try to pretend everything was alright but her grief was shimmering beneath the surface. It only needed the smallest push to be detonated.

"Tell the others we'll take ten minutes," Daryl told Rosita. "Then we'll keep going. I'm gonna go back, cover our tracks."

"Okay," Rosita agreed before heading off towards the group.

Daryl guided her down towards the ground until she was sitting against a tree. "Get some rest, yeah? I'll be right back."

All she could bring herself to do was nod.

He placed a soft kiss on her forehead before heading off into the woods.

Quinn wrapped her arms around her waist and leaned back against the tree, eyes focused on the small patches of blue visible through the roof of leaves above her. It had been a while since she felt claustrophobic in the dense forests of Georgia but all of a sudden the feeling came rushing back to her. She felt trapped in the darkness without a way out, without her brother.

Time passed by without her really noticing it. At one point she must've dozed off because when she finally opened her eyes, Daryl was seated in front of her, looking over a map. Michonne, Rick and Rosita were seated next to him. She hadn't heard any of them approach, she really had been exhausted. And even though she couldn't have been asleep for long, she felt a lot better now.

"If they're smart, they'll cover all these passes between here and Hilltop," Daryl was saying, pointing at a road on the map.

"We have to keep moving," Rosita said. "We'll just have to risk it."

"Maybe you don't have to."

At the sound of Dwight's voice, Quinn immediately got to her feet. Her hand reached for her dagger but by now it was more of an instinct than her truly believing the man was still a danger. She took a breath to calm herself and only when she moved her hand away from her weapon, did Dwight approach.

He pointed at a rather open area on the map. "Negan won't send his people into this stretch of swamp, not if he doesn't have to."

"How do you know that?" Michonne asked, eyes narrowed.

"Negan wanted to map the best routes with cover from the Sanctuary to the Hilltop. He decided the swamp was too dangerous. Didn't think it was worth the risk."

Quinn watched as Rick and Daryl exchanged a look. A look she knew all too well. "You can't seriously consider taking a route even Negan thinks is too dangerous," she said, eyes going between her boyfriend and their leader.

"It's the only route they won't be looking for us," Rick said, pinching the bridge of his nose as if wanting to expel a headache.

Aaron got to his feet. "Quinn is right. How do we even know we can trust him?" he glared at Dwight with an anger Quinn hadn't thought him capable of feeling. Losing Eric had been harder on him than she initially thought, fueling his hatred for their enemy.

"Yeah," Tara joined in. "He could turn on us like he turned on his own people."

"I didn't just turn on them," Dwight replied. "I killed 'em. Daryl saw it. Rosita saw it." He turned to look at her, eyes sharp like ice. "You saw it."

It was true.

When they returned to Alexandria from their failed chase after the boombox, the front gate had been blocked by Negan and his Saviors. And so they tried to take the back gate. But it had been blocked by another group of Saviors, including Dwight. But when the gunfire started, Dwight didn't shoot at them. Instead, he aimed at his own people and killed a Savior who had his gun aimed at Michonne.

"But one of them got away," Dwight added, his voice losing the sharp edge and instead trembling with repressed fear. "So if they find me, Negan puts my head on a pike. I'm not working for them, and I'm not going back to them. I chose my side. This is it. I'm here to help you beat Negan. After that..." he sighed, then chuckled bitterly. "Well, I know how it ends."

Silence fell like a heavy blanket upon them. He knew he was going to die and yet that still wasn't enough for him to try and take down Negan. Quinn wasn't sure if she would ever fully trust him, but she trusted his hatred. For it was the same hatred she felt.

"Alright," she said, earning a surprised look from Dwight. "We'll try the swamps."

Without so much as another look at him, she walked away, into the direction of a place even Negan would rather avoid. As she walked the familiar silent footsteps of Daryl joined her side. She could feel his hesitation and knew he wanted to ask how she was feeling but at the same time wanted to give her the space she so clearly needed.

She took his hand and gently squeezed it. "Later," she muttered.

He nodded at her, thumb rubbing her skin in acceptance of her promise.

As they got closer to the swamps, Dwight joined them at the front of the line. Maybe he wanted to show it wasn't as bad a route as everyone seemed to be thinking.

Daryl looked at him. "This works, it don't change shit."

"Everything I did, it was for Sherry," Dwight simply replied. "That doesn't make it right or something that should be forgiven. But it's the truth, only one I got left. She's the one who let you out. Then she ran."

"She's out here?" Daryl asked, looking around as if Sherry could show up at any given moment.

"Somewhere," Dwight replied softly. "I hope."

The longing in his voice made her heart ache. Though only for a small second, then her thoughts were distracted by the muddy waters waiting ahead of them. Had it only been the swamp, she might have been able to put her fears aside. But the wet gurgling of drowned walkers made her want to turn around and run the other way.

A muddy hand stretched out from the murky waters, trying to grab her ankle but Daryl's arrow was faster, killing the walker before it could drag her down to the depths below. Quinn was quick to step away from the water's edge.

"We have to be careful, but we can do this," Rosita said.

Daryl nodded. "We push through, make a path for the others."

"Count me in," Scott said, walking forward.

"I'll go," a new, somewhat shaky voice joined in. It was Siddiq, the guy Carl had saved and hid in the sewers.

Rick glared at the man, clearly somehow blaming him for the death of his son. As if to prove a point, he handed Judith over to Michonne and walked forward as well, taking his hatchet into his hand.

Quinn reached for her dagger but a steady hand on her arm stopped her.

"You stay here," Daryl said, speaking softly so only she could hear.

"There's no way I'm letting you do this alone," she hissed through clenched teeth.

"Hey," he whispered, gently placing a hand on her cheek. "You know I trust ya but you're not yerself right now. Stay here and watch over the others."

How did she get so lucky finding a man who knew her so well? Even if a part of her felt like protesting, she knew he was right. With a sigh she nodded, then stood on her toes to give him a kiss. The way her heart fluttered within her chest as their lips touched was proof that she hadn't joined her brother in death after all.

"Be careful," she whispered as she pulled away.

"Ain't I always?" he replied with the smallest of smiles.

If she had any energy left to roll her eyes, she would've. Instead she watched him make his way into the water with a worried frown. Rosita, Rick, Siddiq and Scott followed closely. They carried long sticks, poking the ground to look for a safe path.

Quinn turned away and sat down beside Michonne. She was holding Judith tightly, as though afraid the girl would suddenly disappear into thin air. Her hawk-like gaze was facing away from the swamp, watching for danger that might approach them from behind. All the while she was stroking Judith's hair as the girl rested her head against her chest.

"You're a good mom," Quinn said.

Michonne closed her eyes for a second, as though the mere word was enough to make her heart break into tiny pieces. Though when she opened them, Quinn saw no tears.

"I'm not sure I would be any good at it," she added, the words barely audible. She'd never spoken of those doubts but they had always been there. There hadn't been any sort of mother figure in her life to guide her. How could she possibly know what to do? Out of the two of them, Milo would've made the better parent...

"If you're with the right person, you'll figure it out together," Michonne said, managing a small smile.

She felt the smile reflect on her own face, though she didn't speak of her doubts about bringing a kid into this world. She wasn't sure she could willingly give someone a life filled with so much pain and misery. It didn't matter anyway. They were fighting a war. The one thing she could think about was how to win. There was no room for anything else.

Voices cut through the quiet air, making everyone freeze in their place.

Slowly, with a wild beating heart, Quinn got to her feet and walked towards the noise. She knelt behind a tree, gun in her hand as she peered through the greenery. Her grip on her weapon tightened upon spotting five Saviors, heading straight towards them. She looked back at Michonne and raised five fingers.

Her friend handed Judith to Denise and reached for her gun. Behind her, everyone who was armed reached for their weapons while forming a protective wall in front of the children.

"Just sayin', they'd be idiots to risk it, is all," a male voice said.

"Least we can say we checked," a woman replied.

"Still rather be us than J-Money right now," a third spoke. "The swamp's that way. Let's cut through here."

Quinn followed their movements with her gun, more to signal to everyone behind her where they were than to actually have any hope of hitting one of them. The bushes she was kneeling behind were way too thick for a straight shot.

Suddenly, Dwight all but jumped forward and before she could make any sort of move to stop him, he was standing right in between her and the Saviors. With wide eyes she watched as he raised his hands in surrender.

"Dwight?" a man asked. Then he lowered his gun and pulled his arms down. "The hell happened to you?"

"We thought you were dead!" the woman added.

From her hiding spot she couldn't see Dwight's face but his voice was steady, without a trace of fear, as he replied. "It was an ambush. You know, they shot us to hell, but I got away. Spent the whole night hiding. You know, running from the dead ones. Trying to make it back. What happened to Laura? I thought she might've made it out, too."

"Yeah, I'm sorry D," one of them spoke, shaking his head. "No one's seen her."

If no one had seen the one Savior that got away, that meant Dwight's betrayal was still unknown to them. He was safe, at least for now...She looked over her shoulder at Michonne, who was waiting with her gun at the ready. Quinn held up her hand as a sign for her to wait. They might just make it out of this unscathed.

"So what are you doing out here?" Dwight asked.

"Trackin' the Alexandrians," another one replied. "About to check the swamp. See what we can see."

"I just came from there," Dwight replied. "They were smart enough to steer clear. Now, if I were them, I'd stick closer to Burke's Pass. Good cover, straighter shot." He pointed west, the exact other way as they were heading.

"Yeah," a man agreed. "Yeah lead the way, D."

Quinn turned around and closed her fist, a sign she and Michonne had used in the days when it was just the two of them. Danger is gone. With a shaky breath Michonne lowered her gun and the others followed, some more hesitant than others.

She threw one last look through the greenery, to make sure Dwight and the Saviors were truly gone. She waited until they were out of sight before she finally got back on her feet and made her way back to the others.

"What happened?" Aaron asked. "What did he do?"

"He saved us," she replied with a frown, still not fully able to believe it herself. "Led them the other way."

"And you just let him?" Daryl's voice suddenly joined in. He and the others had returned just in time to see the last of it happen. "For all we know he could be tellin' them everything! Negan could be on his way here right now!"

Quinn crossed her arms over her chest and faced him with a frown. It was true she was a little unsteady right now, but she certainly wasn't stupid. "He won't be. The Saviors believed him. He saved us."

Daryl shook his head and started pacing back and forth, restless, like he always did when too many emotions started boiling inside of him. "I don't give a damn what he did," he raged. "He can stick with them, he can come back, hell, he can run. When I find that son of a bitch I'm gonna-" He stopped when his eyes fell upon Judith, whose ears were covered by Denise's hands. He took a shaky breath.

"Come on," Rick said upon seeing his friend had calmed down again. "We cleared a path. Stick together and stay sharp."

Before following the others though, Quinn made her way over towards Daryl. He wasn't mad at her, of that she was certain. He was mad at himself for not bringing Beth's killer to justice when he had the chance. And now Dwight had slipped through his fingers.

She placed a hand on his shoulder but he refused to look at her.

"M'sorry I yelled at ya," he muttered.

Wordlessly she pulled him into a hug and felt him melt into her embrace. "It's okay," she muttered. "You're not yourself right now either." She could feel him repress a sob and held him even tighter. The war had left scars on both of them and she refused to be angry at him for that. Then he slowly untangled himself from her arms. She took his hand and together they followed the others into the swamp.

They managed to get through the mud without any incidents. Most of the walkers had been taken care of and those who were still clawing for them, were too far away to do any harm. Aside from the mosquitos and the horrid stink, everything was fine.

After the swamp it was straight shot towards Hilltop. Quinn could feel her feet starting to grow tired. Though she knew it wasn't only from not having slept for at least 24 hours. Her grief weighed like a heavy blanket on her shoulders, pulling her down. And the fact that she was going to have to face Maggie soon and tell her what happened...she didn't know if she had the strength to do so.

At long last the gates came into sight, opening for them like an inviting hug but she would much rather have run the other way.

They were all waiting for them there. Carol, Ezekiel, Cyndie, Enid, Jesus, Maggie...Their eyes scanned the group, looking for familiar faces and missing two.

She couldn't get a single word passed her lips and was grateful when Daryl took over.

Enid's cries tore through the sky, the sound pulling at her heartstrings. Michonne, despite crying herself, placed a hand on the girl's shoulder but Rick disappeared into Barrington House without a word.

Her gaze met the blue eyes of Jesus, usually sparkling lively but now dimmed like fallen stars. He disappeared from her sight when she was pulled into Maggie's shaking arms. As Quinn had once cried for her sister, now Maggie was crying for her brother. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, though she was trying to hold herself together in support of her friend.

Upon feeling her strong and warm embrace though, Quinn broke.

A sob escaped her mouth as she clung to Maggie's shirt. Her knees gave out and she sank to the ground. Maggie refused to let her go and knelt down beside her, holding her as she cried. A stream of endless tears for the brother she lost.

A U T H O R 'S  N O T E

A new chapter has finally arrived!! Life has been incredibly busy so I won't apologise for taking so long. What I will apologise for is the heartbreak I've caused this chapter. Poor Quinn is really going through it...Hopefully the soft Quaryl scenes made up for it!

I know it's very mean of me to still not reveal whether Milo and Carl are okay. But you guys have stuck with me long enough to guess the answer ;) As always, please leave some votes and comments. They mean the world to me!

One last thing: This chapter is dedicated to the amazing Catisnotademonn. Sometimes I feel like you understand this story even better than I do. Thank you for your endless faith and patience when it comes to waiting for updates and listening to me ramble on about my beloved Morales siblings. I love you, this one is for you!

I hope to see you all again soon! Oh and enjoy the new gif banner below.

xx Nelly