Yellow Toad: And now, Nintendo fans, welcome back to our main stage performance of The Mushroom Moon! The show will resume in just a moment, so please finish securing your beverages and return to your seats immediately!

Blue Toad: Thank you for joining us today, and we hope you enjoy the rest of the program! (...if you can call this a program.)

~~~

*red curtains rise onto the second act*

The day was well along over the wide countryside when a large shadow loomed over the forests of Crazy Mario Land.
Flying high overhead, hauled by two massive jet engines, a stone castle flew patiently over the vast expanse, faint instrumental music piping from giant speakers somewhere within.
Bowser, from within his solider training room, gazed over a book titled World's Greatest Takeovers. A group of his baddies crowded around in expectation.
(To the tune of Mine, Mine, Mine from Pocahontas:)

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Bowser flipped through the book, getting a dreamy look.
"The strength of Count Bleck,
The throne of Antasma
Will seem like mere play dates when I become alpha!"
He showed them the book with its illustrations of great empires as they ooed and ahed.
"The rule we take here
Will dwarf them by far!
So, with all ya got in ya boys,
Go take the kingdom boys...!"
The minions turned and scrambled in all directions to prepare for assault.
Bowser climbed up onto a small podium to point and yell over their work.
"It's mine, mine, mine
For the taking!
It's mine, boys,
Get me that throne!
With those toadstools well taken,
It's glory they'll feed me—
My dear Princess Peachy
Will probably build me a shrine!
Wheeeen all of the wooooorld...
is MINE!"
Beyond their frantic preparations and yelling, the glorious daylight illuminated the mountainside outside the castle windows, where colorful mushroom mountains were alive with a swelling music. Somewhere among them, on a leafy cliff side, Mario himself burst through the trees and made for the edge.
"All of my life I had searched for a land
Like this oooooone!
A wilder, more challenging country
I couldn't desiiiiiign—
He marched without stopping right out onto a huge tree trunk sticking out of the cliff side.
"Hundreds of dangers await
And I don't plan to miss oooone!"
The log gave way under him, breaking off and landing squarely across a small gushing waterfall. He pumped his fists to the sky, accidentally uncovering a hidden question block which spewed a cape feather (which he snatched).
"In this land of my own
A land I call home!
The greatest adventure is mine—!"
Bowser climbed a parapet and yelled through a megaphone.
"Keep on working, lads!"
A stack of shy guys ran for the door, hit the threshold and scattered on the floor like jelly beans.
"Don't be shirking, lads!!"
A koopa dragged a bucket of bob-ombs, which would have started going off if BJ hadn't swooped down and snatched a flaming torch out of the way.
"Get me that throooooooone
Beautiful throooooone!!
Make this highland
MY land!"
Goombas lined up hastily to receive orders.
"Make the towns quake, boys
I'd help with the raid, boys
But I've got this thing on my mind," he gestured to the hold where the weird star was being inspected by curious minions.
Meanwhile on the top of some cliff Mario was surveying the nearest ten thousand acres within view.
"This land we behold!"
Bowser stared down at his goofy army.
"This empire untold—"
"Gamers can be bold!" Mario hollered, gesturing to the ten thousand possible deaths below him.
Bowser stood majestically under a flag with his nasty insignia on it.
"It all will be sold!
And the throne is
Mine,
Mine,
Miiiiine!"
A bunch of bob-ombs left unsupervised suddenly made contact with a pool of lava and exploded.
So they were busy for a while.
Meanwhile, on the mountainside, Mario ran along a cliff edge, holding tight to the feather and eyeing his target. Then, without warning, he jumped from the precipice about ten feet down to where Yoshi was standing, landing cleanly on his back.
Yoshi screamed. "AAAHHH! ...Dude, you have to warn people before you divebomb onto their backs!"
"Now where's the fun in that?" Mario asked, pulling his yellow cape around his shoulders. "We need to get rolling. Come on, this way," he pointed.
"Well it would've been more time efficient if you didn't have to stop for your musical number," Yoshi replied.
"Yoshi, the people in movies never worry about that and neither will we," Mario replied, patting his shoulder.
Yoshi sighed. "But it doesn't strike you as at all odd that suddenly everyone's just felt like singing this week? What if something is actually wrong here—?"
No time for his question, because just then they heard a rustling sound, like a troop of monsters heading right towards them through the trees.
And that's exactly what it was, if you're cool with calling koopas and goombas 'monsters'. And who should waltz out smugly at their head but Kamek himself?
Mario groaned. "Hello ugly."
Kamek swung his wand and almost took a koopa's head off. "Hey! I heard that!"
"Don't you know the mountainside is no place to be dragging a bathrobe?" Mario asked, gesturing to his regalia.
Yoshi snorted like a horse.
Kamek glared. "I would think you'd be concerned to find us here," he said.
"Of you and twenty first-level baddies?" Mario laughed. "I think you need to reevaluate."
Kamek rolled his eyes. "No, fool! I'm talking about the message we came to bring!"
Mario was thoughtful. "Since when did you become Bowser's messenger?"
Kamek raised his wand warningly. "Listen you arrogant plumber pulp—!"
Mario gestured to himself. "I am clearly not a pulp—
He was cut off when Yoshi jolted his back, making him shut up.
Kamek paused. "Yes. So... what I wanted to say was... ATTACK!!"
With NO warning whatsoever, the whole little troop piled on, which was supposed to be like an awesome brawl but it looked more like kindergartners wrestling on the playground. Kamek was backing away like a wimp until Mario crawled out, grabbed his ankle and beat him up.
As you do.
Yoshi had the other minions well in hand, so in a matter of moments and a short kerfuffle later the last of the goombas went flying off the cliff, pushed by some mobile koopa shells.
Kamek crawled pitifully to his broom, which he mounted. "You win this round, chubby," he grunted. "But we'll see who's smirking when your precious kingdom falls and you're not there to save it!!"
With that, he turned on his broom and flew off by himself.
Yoshi came up to Mario, dusting off his head. "Mario! Did you hear that?"
Mario balled his fist. "Yeah! He called me chubby! And I didn't even eat a full portion at dinner last night!"
Yoshi sighed. "No! I think he's leading you," he said. "I think that's part of Bowser's plan. He's trying to lure you away from the kingdom so he can have his whole army take it while you're gone!"
Mario chuckled. "Like that can happen!"
"But Mario, I think we should go back," Yoshi said.
Mario petted his nose. "We can't," he replied. "Bowser controls everything. If we stop him, we can surely stop the invasion. He's the key." He turned and squinted to the top of the mountain. "Plus he's got the princess. I can't just—
Yoshi gave him a skeptical look.
Mario sighed and sat down on the edge of the cliff. "It'll be fine, Yosh. I know Bowser and he knows me. Whatever happens, Imma get him in the end. And he'll survive. And we can do it all over again next week! That's the great part about having a nemesis."
Yoshi frowned as a goofy little tune began to play in the background. "Oh no..."
Mario started bobbing his head side to side.
Meanwhile, in his castle on the other side of the mountains, Bowser sat on his throne, considering what he should do first when he arrived at Toad Town. A trio of minions— a shy guy, a hammer bro and a koopa— popped up from the floor beside him.
He stared at them. "Do you all need something??"
They all grabbed microphones.
Bowser turned to stare at Junior, who shrugged.
(To the tune of My Nemesis from Phineas and Ferb:)

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The minions started grooving.
"My neme neme, oooo my neme, neme, neme
My neme neme, oooo my neme, neme, neme!"
Bowser rubbed his hands together evilly as he thought out loud.
"I used to sit alone doin' evil all day,
But now I think there's someone gonna get in my way, yeah,
The someone in my life,
That doesn't want me to exist!"
The minions kept up their backing vocals as Bowser jumped out of his chair.
"My neme neme, OOOHH my neme, neme, neme—!"
Bowser grinned as he frolicked to the Wall of Shame, where numerous pictures hung of him being burned, bruised and tied up by Mario.
"And I feel fine,
'cause IIIII've got a nemesis!
(My neme, neme, oooo... my neme, neme, neme
My neme, neme, oooo... my neme, neme, neme...!)"
On the other side of the mountain, Mario sat rocking blissfully on the cliff edge.
"And I hate him and he hates me,
What a wonderful aaaanimosity!" He sang.
Yoshi stared.
Bowser growled at a picture of Mario that was conveniently there.
"He has a stupid hat—
"And mine wears no clothes," Mario added.
"Glad I have someone to oppoooose...!" they joined in together.
Bowser sat back down on his throne contentedly. "...'Cause I have a neeeemesis!"
Yoshi shook a tambourine with a dead face.
"My neme neme, oooo... my neme, nemesiiiiiiiis," the minions finished.
Meanwhile Mario turned back to Yoshi. "See? So we gotta go get Bowser. Come on," he said, climbing on his back.
Yoshi groaned. "Alright. But if we die, you owe me one," he said, trotting onward.
"Yeah, add it to my list," Mario replied.

Up in the stony keep of Bowser's Castle, in the highest window of the tallest tower, a golden-haired princess appeared and gazed out. Her sighing song carried out to fall on nonexistent ears.
(To the tune of Final Showdown from Shrek the Third:)

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"I wait alone up here,
I'm trapped another day,
Locked up here, please set me free!
My old life I almost see!
A castle, you and me...
Yes! a castle,
Youuuu and me..."
Peach suddenly frowned, looking around. "Huh, that was weird." Suddenly quite fed up with it, she turned to beat on the tower door. "Hey! What's going on here??" she demanded. "I want to speak to Bowser!"
"Not yet your highness, he's busy at the moment," a bored guard replied through a mouthful of cheese nachos. "Just wait until we get to the Mushroom Kingdom!"
"The Mushroom Kingdom?" she whispered in confusion, returning to look out the window. "Why would he..."
Up above, the moon hung close and dark with clouds, as if even it was losing its color.

IN THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM...

Green Toad squinted skeptically up out the window of one of the castle's meeting rooms, where Toadsworth and a few others were gathered for a meeting. Maps of various surrounding terrains were spread out around them. Behind him, Luigi leaned against the table and listened to their talk while Wario picked dead bugs out of the light fixtures on the walls.
(Waluigi didn't come because he wanted to spend his last 72 hours of freedom at the bowling alley.)
"We know Bowser's attacks usually come from this direction," Toadsworth pointed. "But Kamek seemed to imply we would be surrounded. So we could be looking at an aerial assault."
"If the koopalings are involved there could be over seven airships," Luigi said. "And not to be gloomy, but Wario and I can hardly take care of all that."
"When do I get to go bowling??" Wario asked.
Luigi came up to him and slapped his hands out of the lamp. "Would you take this seriously for five seconds? I think you're missing the fact that we could all be Bowser's slaves in a few short days!!"
"That's why I would go bowling," Wario said.
There was an awkward pause.
"Perhaps we should evacuate the town to the underground tunnels," Toadsworth suggested. "In the event Mario can't stop them in time, the citizens must be protected."
Wario jumped up. "Oh yeah! Because nothing says fun like spending the week in an underground storage area!"
Luigi groaned in exasperation, but before he could have a righteous tantrum Green Toad yelled from the window. "Hey guys! Something's wrong with the moon!"
Wario gasped. "She finally did it," he said, clenching a fist.
Luigi gave him a look. "Who did what?"
"My mad lady nemesis, Captain Syrup," he replied. "She blew up the moon!"
"Uh, actually Wario, I think the moon is still very much there," Green Toad said. "It's just—
"I beg your pardon!!" Toadsworth interrupted, rushing to the window. "Wait! Could it be...?" Suddenly crazy, he turned and began pulling books frantically from a shelf.
"Um, is everything okay Toadsworth?" Luigi asked.
"Okay? Well, that's the real question, isn't it?" he replied, slamming an old book down on the table. He flipped through it, blowing dust from its pages while the others stared.
"That looks like a little kids' storybook from ten thousand years ago," Wario said.
"Oh no," Toadsworth said. "Only one thousand."
Luigi crossed his arms. "What's going on, what are you looking for??" he asked in confusion. Prompted by Green Toad, he and Wario went to look out the window.
"Whoa... you are right, something's weird," Luigi remarked, staring up at the sky. 
And what was it that they saw? It was messed up, that's what they saw!
It was a dark and patchy moon, almost as if covered by clouds but somehow more sinister.
"Looks like something's eating the moon," Wario said.
Slowly, Luigi nodded, observing the frayed edges that looked torn away.
"I think the moon is breaking apart!" Green Toad cried. "And I went to college!"
Toadsworth groaned and dropped the book he was holding. "I think it's much worse than that, old bean," he said gravely. "I think we're dealing with... the mushroom moon."
"The mushroom moon?" Luigi repeated. "What's that?"
"It's an old toadstool legend," Toadsworth said, getting an epic look on his face. "Handed down to us from the star spirits. And— well, I suppose it's best told in its original language: song form!" he said, randomly grabbing a banjo.
Wario facepalmed as the others stared.
(To the tune of Graveyard Eight from The Penguins of Madagascar:)

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"Pull up a seat and sit a spell
While this spooky tale I relate!
About the cruelest curse on all toadkind
The stars ever did create!
The mushroom mooooon of fate!"
"—The mushroom moon of fate??" Green Toad screeched, sitting down at his feet in excitement.
"From midnight to dawn there's no one in sight
But it hides an evil incarnate!
''Twas an ancient cage that held an old mage
To protect folks before 'twas too late!
Better RUN from such a fate!"
"Before it was too late??" Luigi repeated fearfully.
Wario rolled his eyes.
Toadsworth strummed. "For years and years it delayed the tears
That the stars had hoped to abate—
"So it's broken loose now and we're all doomed to die; that the point you're tryin' to state?" Wario interrupted.
The other three stared at him.
Toadsworth smashed his banjo. "The mushroom moon of FAAAAAAAAATE!!"
"YaAahhh!!" Green Toad grabbed a chair and threw it into the wall.
Luigi leaned back against the table. "...Well that was fun."
Toadsworth sat back down and took a breath. "But no, I'm not saying the escape of this evil spirit will spell death for us all. It just might mean the loss of our planet's natural satellite, which of course would probably be catastrophic for its own reasons."
Luigi frowned. "But do you think it might have something to do with our recent, uh, singing fever?"
Toadsworth shrugged. "I don't know. I don't see the correlation, but it certainly could."
Wario crossed his arms in the corner. "This makes as much sense as eating broccoli," he complained.
...

Bowser raised an eyebrow. "So what you're telling me is that the moon's falling apart, and you think it's because an ancient evil star spirity person was trapped there a thousand years ago to protect us from its awful wrath and now it's escaped," he said.
"Basically," Kamek replied, who was standing there.
"And the locals call it a mushroom moon because it looks like a moldy mushroom, and it can only be fixed by resealing the prison with another person's soul," Bowser went on.
"You seem to have grasped the idea," Kamek said.
Bowser frowned as BJ sat by his feet observing. "Wow. That... makes a lot of sense!! We should adjust our tactics!!"
He jumped out of his chair and made for the door. "Good work Kamek! And if this doesn't work I'll have to personally kill you."
Kamek looked at Bowser Jr.
The kid shrugged.
"I knew I should've joined the circus," Kamek sighed.

Anyway, up in the highest room of the tallest tower...

Bowser came to the tower door to find the guard koopa licking his cheese-covered arm, which was caked with nacho chips.
It was silent for five solid seconds. "I can explain," the guard said.
Bowser covered his eyes and passed through, wondering why he was surrounded by idiots and wishing someone had asked him if he wanted nachos.
"Knock knock, it's your destiny," he greeted, entering the tower.
The princess looked up on his entrance and came forward angrily. "Bowser! ...I would ask, but I think that's pointless," she said at last.
"Good, because explaining why I'm capturing you for the 80th time is starting to get boring," Bowser said.
"Just starting?" Peach asked, unimpressed.
"But! This time I do have something exciting to share, so listen!" Bowser came up to the window to look out. "Oh, and I didn't actually mean to kidnap you this time. It was Junior's decision," he added.
"I'm flattered," she replied, crossing her arms. "What's your angle, Bowser? Why are you flying us towards the Mushroom Kingdom?"
Bowser turned back to grin evilly. "Because," he said, a creepy music beginning to fill the air.
"There is no one left to protect it. Mario is on his way to save you now, as predicated by the last 20 billion times this happened," he explained snootily. "I originally intended Kamek to figure out when he would be out so we could capture him, but Junior caught you instead. Either way, I win: Mario's out of the picture, and I have an entire Koopaling-led army marching for the kingdom as we speak. But then something unexpected happened."
Peach glared at him but resolved not to chew him out until she knew his beef.
"Perhaps you've noticed the moon isn't quite itself? Well, I've just been informed that a thousand-year-old star spirit was imprisoned there and recently escaped," he went on. "And according to Kamek, if someone does not fill that vacancy on the moon soon, it will fall apart... forever," he gloated.
Peach gasped. "The mushroom moon," she whispered. "It's true...!?"
Bowser was way too pleased with himself. "Yea. That. So I'm just accepting a gift when it comes my way," he said with a shrug. "When Mario arrives here, I will seal him away for a thousand years," he informed. "Kill two toads with one mushroom. It's a noble sacrifice!" He added, seeing the look of disbelief on her face. "You get to marry me, and you can still enjoy the moon every night. Fair trade!"
She looked prepared to rip his mohawk off. "You won't get away with this," Peach said at last.
Bowser shrugged, evil music beginning to fill the tower. "Oh, I think I will, Peachy," he said gleefully.
(To the tune of Brand New Plan, also from the Penguins of Madagascar:)

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"I love this aberration,
An unforesee-een complication!" he began, pacing around the small room as Peach raised an eyebrow.
"Cause for celebration
I think from where I stand
There is a strong demand
To play my role...
To seize control—!" He jolted to a stop and stared at her.
"This calls for a new plan!
In my most evil dreams
My parade of nasty schemes,
Zooming fast to extremes—
But I never thought this!" He turned to look up at the darkened sky with excitement.
"An unexpected twist,
It simply cannot miss,
I have to take this stand,
The fate is oh so grand!"
He raised a fist and growled so loud the walls shook a little. Peach looked around in confusion.
"To win the daaaaaaaay
My powerplaaaaaaay—
It's up to me to step in
And claim this super weapon!" He gazed over his schematics of numerous failed mechs, monsters and targets from past missions that adorned the walls.
"Then Super Mario
Next the foobs
And finally the Mushroom Kingdom too!
It's big and bold, my new plan
And cruel and cold, my new plan!
This ultimate crowning supreme debut of my latest
Greatest
Awesomest
Statest
Braaaaaand neeeeew PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!"
And with that, Bowser turned and slammed the door behind him.
Peach was left alone, staring in surprise and anxiety. It can't be...
Finally, she ran to the window and looked out. Sure enough, the moon was beginning already to billow outward in an otherworldly shape. I can't believe I didn't see it coming! I should've warned him... I should've... done something!! she thought angrily, pounding the stone wall.

Mario was making good progress as he climbed one of the highest mountains in the kingdom, leading the trek on foot to let Yoshi have a little load off. (A huge load off, if you asked Yoshi.)
His plan was to reach the top and then they'd have a good idea of what Bowser was doing, since they'd hopefully be able to see the kingdom for light years around. (Not really.)
It was a fine plan, and Yoshi was fine with it, except he wasn't. Specifically, he was watching Mario dodge the rocks that Monty moles threw down at them while a flashback played in his mind.
(Flashback to the tune of Can You Feel the Love Tonight? from the Lion King:)

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(It is a thousand years ago. Peach has just been rescued for only like the fifth time, and the newly-met Yoshi and Luigi are standing in a field near the castle, observing from far off as Mario and the princess obliviously take a stroll in the garden to chat.)
Yoshi sighed. "I can see what's happ'ning—
"What?" Luigi asked obliviously.
"And they don't have a clue—
"Who?"
"They'll fall in love and heeeere's the bottom line—our trio's down to two!"
"Oh," Luigi realized.
"The sweet caress of twilight;
There's MaGIc everywhere—
And with all this romaaaaantic atmosphere...
DISASTER'S IN THE AAAAAAIR!!" Yoshi hollered.
Luigi frowned. "I mean, yes, it could be horrible," he said. "But that's not a given, is it? I mean, Mario would never ignore you."
Yoshi hung his head. "That's not it... I mean, if he puts his affections too much in her, it could be disastrous for the kingdom at large," he explained. "What if one day Bowser lures him away from the kingdom with the princess as bait, and then sends forces to take the town while he's distracted? It could be the end of us!"
"I see your concern," Luigi acknowledged, watching his brother yank a daffodil out of the ground and offer it to her.
"And iiiif he faaaaalls in love tonight," Yoshi sniffed,
"It can beeee assumed—
His carefree days with us are history,
In short, our paaaal is doooooomed!"
(Yoshi popped back to the present with a sense of dread coming over him.)
"Huh. I don't remember singing in that flashback." Looking ahead, he suddenly spotted something that made him freeze. "Mario! Incoming!"
"Huh?" Mario paused and looked around. Sure enough, another troupe of random Bowser goons came stumbling across their path, looking bewildered and disorderly as lost kindergartners on a field trip.
"Halt! I have to beat you up!" Mario yelled at them.
The koopa who seemed to be in charge jerked and held up his hands appeasingly. "You know, there are other ways to solve problems!" he said as Mario made a beeline for them. Right before that could turn into cliffside brawl round 2, Yoshi came up and squinted suspiciously at them.
"What are you guys doing out here?" he questioned.
"We're just trying to take over the Mushroom Kingdom—
The goomba who answered was promptly slapped by his comrade. "We were dispatched a couple days ago by Lord Bowser," koopa leader said. "But we... may have gotten slightly off track."
"Isn't Bowser's Castle just over the ridge?" Mario asked.
"Well, yes... and no," koopa replied.
"What do you mean?" Yoshi asked, crossing his arms.
"Well, since I'm just an insignificant side character with no chance of a redemptive role in this play, I might as well drop a startling reveal. Bowser's Castle is gone, chumps!" he declared proudly.
Mario and Yoshi looked at each other. "What??"
Koopa grinned smugly. "Yup. He's flying towards the kingdom as we speak on his fancy new jet-engine castle! No way does Toad Town stand a chance against that weaponized thing!"
"When did Bowser get the funds for that?" Yoshi marveled.
Mario raised a fist at the minions threateningly. "You're lucky I don't have time to beat you up," he said. Turning back to Yoshi, Mario grabbed his cape feather. "Alright Yoshi, you get your way. Get yourself back to the kingdom and get the townspeople to safety."
Yoshi stared. "What about you?"
"I'm going after Bowser, duh. He still needs to be taken down," Mario shrugged. "But I'll just fly there, apparently. I guess you don't have to come with me."
Yoshi hesitated. "Yes, I do," he said. "I can't let you go to the koopa cesspool with no one to keep an eye on you."
The koopa crossed his arms.
"What if you need help?" Yoshi continued.
"Not likely," Mario said. "I thought you wanted to go back to Toad Town anyway!"
"Yeah, but I meant with you," Yoshi said. "You're the one they really need down there."
"Well obviously," Mario replied. "But I have to get to Bowser or no one else will. So are you in?"
Yoshi hesitated, nodded, and stepped forward. "You have my shell."
"Sweet, just don't weigh me down," Mario said, pointing skyward. "That way!"
The group of minions crossed their arms and rolled their eyes. "Wow, how exciting."
He climbed aboard and spread his cape. "ONWARD, YOSHI!! TO THE HIGHEST ROOM OF THE TALLEST TOWER, THERE TO AWAIT THE—
The koopas stared as the wind carried them up like magic as a retro beat started to play in the background. They looked at each other in visible confusion as the shot moved past them.
(To the tune of 500 Miles by The Proclaimers:)

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Yoshi looked around the sky in confusion as Mario started singing to nobody.
"Oh no, here we go again—
"When I go out,
yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you..."
"Who are you talking to?" Yoshi interjected.
"When I haver,
hey I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you!"
"What does that even mean?" Yoshi asked, flutter-kicking to stay at cloud level.
"And when I'm working,
yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you!"
All the sudden a flock of biddybuggies which were passing through came busting through the cloud layer to lend their voice talent.
"And I WOULD WALK 500 MILES
And I WOULD FLY 500 MORE!
Just to be the man who goes a thousand miles
To fall down at your door!"
"Yeah, I don't think the princess can hear you," Yoshi said, but nobody paid him attention. They came into a poof of pinkish orange clouds that stacked up around them like castles.
"And when the money, comes in for the work I do
I'll pass almost every penny on to you—
Yoshi kept air-paddling. "She's a princess, she doesn't need your paycheck—
"When I come home, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you!
And when I grow old, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you..."
"That's a bit presumptuous don't you think," Yoshi said as the biddybuggies geared up their wings for another huge circle.
"But I would walk 500 miles
And I would fly 500 more!
Just to be the man who goes a thousand miles
To fall down at your door—
The backup singers bounced off each other. "Da da da (da da da)!"
"Da da da (da da da)!"
"Da Da Da Dun Diddle Un Diddle Un Diddle Uh Da Da!!"
Mario spread out his arms so the cape filled up like a giant yellow bladder.
"When I'm lonely, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you!
And when I'm dreaming, well I know I'm gonna dream
I'm gonna Dream about the time when I'm with you...
And when I come home—
"—When I come home!" The backups screeched.
"—yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home with you...
I'm gonna be the man who's coming hoooome with you!"
They crashed into a cumulonimbus and ended that slightly painful segment.

Bowser was lounging on his throne, swinging a yo-yo around his head in boredom. "I wonder why people always give each other soap for the holidays when they don't know what to buy," he mused aloud to no one in particular. "I mean it makes sense if you're going for a co-worker you hardly know. Like, how am I supposed to know what you actually do in your personal life? Everyone uses soap."
"I don't!" A shy guy scrubbing the windows nearby yelled, raising a hand.
Bowser went on musing. "But at the same time, it's kind of an insulting gift. It's practically saying, 'I think you smell' for Christmas. That's the genius of it!"
"Cool story, dad," Bowser Jr said from where he was playing with some laser cars on the floor.
Just then the doors busted open and Kamek ran in. "Lord Bowser, I have an important update!"
"It better be more important than my yo-yo musings," Bowser said.
"Y-yes. You see, it's the weird star," Kamek said, gesturing behind him.
"The one the princess found in the field?" Bowser asked.
"Yes. A little while ago it started emanating a sharp light and we swear it's making a weird humming noise. I think it's activating some sort of power if I could take a guess."
Bowser slammed a fist on his throne and pointed. "Perfect! Kamek, you and your nerds need to harness the power of that star pronto! I might need it for taking over the kingdom." He looked down at the yo-yo, which had gotten wound all around his arm.
"Of course, my lord. We'll work as fast as we can, but I don't know what we'll find."
"Well, whatever it is, it's going to power my castle," Bowser declared. "And then no one will be able to stop me!!" He raised a fist to be epic, but the yo-yo was still tied around his hand. Irritated, Bowser tried to untie it, but he only made it tangle up worse.
"Here dad, let me get it—
"No Junior, you'll only make it worse—
"But dad I can breathe fire!"
"Not on my hand, Junior!"
"Then I'll get the scissors!" BJ said.
Bowser groaned at this very cool and grown-up setback.

Bowser was striding like a boss up along a parapet at the higher levels of the castle, looking down with evil delight on the land below. The sun had already begun to set, and his first sight of the Mushroom Kingdom was coming into view on the darkening horizon.
"It's go time," he growled to himself. Then he held up a walkie talkie and pushed the button. "Ludwig, it's go time," he said in as edgy a tone as he could manage.
Down below, in the lantern-lit streets of Toad Town, villagers out walking began to slow and look at the sky.
"What's that?" A toad kid took his parent's hand and pointed.
Nearby, a news reporter peered out the window of her truck and gasped.
Toadsworth, who was walking back to the castle gates, suddenly noticed a dark shadow pass overhead and envelope the street. Pausing in suspicion, he turned his eyes upward... and dropped his cane.
The light of the feeble moon now was even blotted out by the hulking darkness of a giant stone castle that was suddenly looming overhead, floating over the town on two jet engines. As townspeople stared in fear, they could see clouds begin to gather and swirl around the highest towers far above.
But that was only the beginning. All at once Toadsworth became aware that there was a faint, ever-increasing thump-thump on the ground that sounded like approaching feet.
Widening his eyes, he whirled around the street. "It's here," he whispered.
Before anyone could say a word, the clouds around the tower above suddenly seemed to stop and emit a spark overhead. Looking upwards, they could now see dark purplish rays emitting from the tower like bad vibes on a summer vacation.
Then, without warning but you really should have expected it by now, weird evil music started to tear through the atmosphere, filling the streets like a wave.
(To the tune of What the Heck is That? ALSO from the Penguins of Madagascar:)

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Across the street, in a small toad house that Green Toad had let them use as a base, Luigi and Wario glanced up from the table where their day's plans and schematics were mapped out. Suddenly hearing something, Luigi jumped up and pressed himself to the window.
"What's that racket?
What's the clatter?"
"We're under attack, it's a life or death maaaatter!" Green Toad screeched, hiding under the tablecloth.
Wario jerked up from where he'd been napping on the couch under a bag of frootloops. "I was in a deep-sleep cereal dream!"
"I heard what I believe to be a scream," Toadsworth sang outside on the walk, looking around at the frantically gathering townspeople.
"That wasn't me, that was papa," the toad kid pointed.
The dad shrugged. "Hey man, I was just...
STAAARTLEEEEED...!"
The crowd began to gather on the sidewalks as Luigi and Wario came outside.
A goomba mom herding her kids gazed up at the sky. "But what is this light—?
"In the middle of the night?" finished a cranky toad neighbor who was standing in pajamas on his doorstep.
The mail paratroopa Parakarry hovered overhead, afraid to turn around and look. "You have it in your sight,
it's behind me, right...?"
Luigi stood frozen and stared upward. "What the heck is that??"
Wario popped up beside him. "What the heck is that?"
All at once a bunch of the crowd scattered, running in all directions for their homes, while the more brave and curious (or dumb and Crazy, however you're looking at it) began to emerge to stare and chat.
Wario pointed and continued. "Check out that mook
in the starry night sky—
"Gimme a sec
to wipe the sleep from me eye," koopa with huge eyebrows interrupted.
Luigi tried to relax his muscles. "It's showy and glowy and armed for combat—
"Whaaaaat the heck
IS THAT?" Everyone chorused behind him.
Then they scattered again, only this time everyone really did break up and freak out. While the secondary characters ran in circles and began hiding in chimneys and car trunks, Luigi and Wario joined Toadsworth.
"So seriously, what's going on??" Wario yelled over the swirling, which was starting to get loud.
"It appears we're out of time, boys," Toadsworth announced, holding on to his cane. "Bowser's armies are closing in."
Luigi suppressed his shriek and looked around. "Is it the mushroom moon? Is it giving him that power??"
"I don't know, but we'd better evacuate the town!" Toadsworth said.
Luigi turned to Wario and nodded. "You take the south side, I'll take the north," he said. "Get everyone out!"
Wario pouted. "But I thought we said I was going to do the north side—
"JUST DO AS I SAY!!" Luigi shouted in his face, startling the entire street so that even the intense evil rays froze for a second.
Toadsworth raised his eyebrows.
Wario crossed his arms. "You're lucky we might not make it out of this," he said, running off.
"Yeah, I'll look forward to it," Luigi muttered after him. "TO THE UNDERGROUND, EVERYONE! WEVE GOT TO GO NOW!!"
As people started to scream and panic in a mob run, Luigi turned to Toadsworth. "Well, let's hope this works."

Listening with pleasure to the distant shrieks and sounds of chaos below, Bowser strode happily along his inner wall, watching the Koopaling armies close in around him. Up above, the mushroom moon hung dim and weird close by.
Romantic music started swelling through the night air.
(To the tune of That's Amore by Dean Martin:)

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Behind Bowser, a bunch of baddies slunk along to give him an intro.
"In Bowser's keeeep
Where he is king
When kingdoms fall
Here's whaaaat theeey saaaaaaaaaaay—
Bowser grinned, stupidly pleased with himself.
"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore," he sang, sliding up to a window and looking up at the mushroom moon nearby. Then he turned down to the chaos of the town below.
"When the world is on fire and the towns are a mire
That's amoreeee!!
Toads will scream, ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you'll say, 'Life is awful!!'
Hearts will stop, jaws are gonna drop, dreams are gonna pop
Like a can of falafeeeeel!"
"—Seriously?" Bowser Jr interrupted.
"I didn't know how else to rhyme with awful!" Bowser scolded. "Go get ready to take some mushrooms!!"
...
"When the stars all align so the day can be mine
That's amore...
When you cruise down the street with a mob at your feet
You're in luuuuuck!"
At that moment the castle passed right over the Main Street of Toad Town, where Luigi happened to be herding panicking people. At the sound of sappy gloating and music overhead, he stopped and looked up.
"Bowser!! Call off this attack and quit being competent immediately! We had kart racing scheduled!!" He hollered.
Bowser waved a hand at him and turned away.
"No can do," he mused.
Scusa me, but you see, back in old Bowser's keep
That's amoreeeeee!"
Right as he finished the song, his throne room doors opened with a bang and Kamek rushed in.
"My lord! Report!"
"Wait. You there, tell the pilots to raise the castle out of the town's vicinity," Bowser ordered a hammer bro by the door. "Okay, shoot."
"Well, you know how we studied the weird star? Well, it's got some weird properties that we think may have been caused by some external factor," Kamek said. "From our calculations, it appears to react and resonate strongly with music."
"Music? Are you kidding me?" Bowser asked. "Don't you realize that's like a really stupid plot point from like, a kids' musical about the alphabet?"
"...No. My lord, you're missing the big picture here. This star will grant considerable power to whoever wields great song!"
Bowser raised an eyebrow. "So you're telling me that to conquer the Mushroom Kingdom I have to sing."
Kamek shrugged. "Weirder things have happened."
Bowser scratched his chin. "Well, if you say so. How does that even work? What makes it do that?"
Kamek cleared his throat. "Well, this is just conjecture, but when I was in Toad Town the other day I encountered a toad with a bunch of music supplies, and I may or may not have misjudged my distance because of my old glasses prescription and hit him with a spell, which may or may not have created a force field which covered the entire kingdom and by extension affected this star while it was on the ground."
"So you're telling me this singing problem is all your fault."
"I said MAY!!" Kamek defended.
"Whatever. What's the status on the nemesis?" Bowser asked.
"No sign of him yet. Should we wait to invade?"
"No! I think we have enough power now with this... music star to deal with him later. Tell the koopalings to move in!"
Kamek bowed as creepy music started to swirl in the air around them. "As you wish, my lord."
"...Dad?" BJ asked as Bowser ascended the steps to his throne.
No answer so he could epically allow the music to build.
(Taken from a segment of In the Dark of the Night from Anastasia:)

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Swoopers and paratroopas and paragoombas and every iteration of flying Bowser baddie suddenly burst from a hole in the floor and started swirling around in the air overhead.
Bowser laughed and called out to them in evil song.
"Come my minions
Rise for your master,
Let your eeevil shiiiiiiiiine!
Find him now, yes,
Fly ever faaaster—
The minions chorused above him.
"In the dark of the night
In the dark of THE NIGHT—
"HE'LL BE GOOOOOOOOOONE!!" Bowser roared to the ceiling as stones shook and crumbled with the powerful light that was emanating from the star's chamber.
WOW that was epic
Meanwhile, on the other side of the castle, music continued to swell outside the walls. We zoom up to the window of the highest tower, where Peach flung herself against the ledge to look out over a darkening kingdom below.
(From a segment of Happy Working Song from the movie Enchanted:)

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"Ohhhhh, how strange a place to beee
Till Mario comes for meee
My heaaaart is sighIIIIIING!
Still, as loong as I am here,
I guess a jailbreaaaak
Could be worth tryING!"
With that she leapt away from the window and turned to slam on her door, except it happened to open at that second from the other side. She yelped and stumbled right into a hammer bro's grasp.
"Woah, that was convenient," he commented.
"What do you want?" Peach snarled, tugging her arms to little effect.
"King Bowser wants you in his throne room. I'm sure it's more stupidity and narnar."
"...What?" the princess asked as he shoved her down the stairs.
When they arrived in Bowser's throne room and mean glares had been given, Peach was escorted into her cage and Bowser came forward to greet her.
"Nice that you could join us, your highness," he said pleasantly. "Right on time."
"On time for what, Bowser?" Peach snapped. "You to have a change of heart?"
"What? No," he snorted. "Right on time for plumber boy to meet his end!"
Peach did not look happy. "Call off your army, Bowser," she said. "Now."
"Who's gonna make me??"
BAM!! At that moment, the doors of the throne room busted open with smoke and dust from a random explosive. Then, through the dust and the screaming, a gallant Yoshi came stampeding in, ridden by a single Mario, yellow cape flowing in the nonexistent wind.
"NEIGHHH!!" Yoshi said.
"Aw, come on!! My upholstery! EVERY TIME!!" Bowser yelled.
"Mario! It's a trap!!" Peach cried.
There was a little pause.
Mario looked around. "I don't see a trap."
"That's because I have to give my little speech first," Bowser said.
"Oh, okay," Mario said. "Shoot."
Bowser strutted forward like a genius.

"...And that is why this is the end for you, my nemesis!" Bowser cackled.
"But Bowser! Our weekly golf together!" Mario said, offended.
"Yeah, I know. I just liked the idea of taking over the kingdom and marrying the princess more," Bowser shrugged.
"You fiend!" Mario gasped. "I wanted to... uh. Never mind."
Bowser laughed pathetically. "Mario, Mario, Mario. We've been over this. I'm a king. Royalty, baby! And you... well, you're a smelly handyman."
Mario didn't listen to reason. "What if we rewrite the stars?" he suggested.
Bowser's eyes popped. "Oh no we ain't singing that!"
"Stop it both of you!" Peach yelled from her cage. "Mario, you have to beware—
"Quiet Peachy, we're having nemesis talk," Bowser chided. "You can't interrupt the plan explanation part!"
Peach rolled her eyes.
Mario turned to Bowser. "Anyway, how could you have ever come up with a plan this not-stupid??"
"I didn't. He did," Bowser pointed at Kamek, who was standing there wielding his wand. "And now, the END OF YOU!!"
"Nooo!!" Peach grabbed the bars of her cage. "Mario he's telling the truth—!!"
"Say hi to the man in the moon for me! —Oh wait, YOU'RE him! Later!" Bowser cackled.
You might think this buildup was slightly unnecessary and should have given Mario a chance to escape. Well, you're mostly right, but he did try to dive out of the way. The problem was that Kamek's spell, which shot out from his wand like a little ball of death, went flying everywhere erratically, making it impossible to avoid.
Peach stretched an arm out of her cage. "Mario—!"
BLAM! The magic finally hit home, knocking Yoshi over from the impact of having his rider taken out. A blinding flash of light filled the room, making Kamek's eye prescription even worse.
...Pop!
And then he was gone.
Mario, that is.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!" Peach cried, slumping onto the floor of her cage. "You monster, you..." she didn't finish so she could sob into her hands. Bowser came over and waved her away.
"Well, show's over. Take her on back to her room and get her ready for the wedding as soon as we finish taking the town. This is gonna be permanent if I have anything to say about it."
As Peach was wheeled away in her convenient wheeled human cage, Bowser glanced around.
"Hey... wasn't Mario riding a yoshi?"
...
No one was there.

Peach wiped tears from her face and stood. Taking a shaky step, she frowned and set her mouth grimly. This can't be... it can't!!
Then, slowly, she took a deep breath and leaned against the opening of the window, watching as the moon billowed out into a faintly mushroomy shape. If he's up there... this is all my fault!!
(To the tune of Never Enough from The Greatest Showman:)

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"I'm trying to hooooold my breath," she sighed,
"It can't beeeee this way
Can't let this lifetime end,
You set off a dreeeeeam in me
Getting loooouder now,
Can you hear it echoing...?" she put her head in her hands.
"Taaaake my hand
Will you share this with me?
'Cause Mario, without you..."
She leaned on the stone ledge and gazed upwards.
"All the shine of a thousand spotlights
All the stars that fall from the night sky
Will never be enoooough,
Never be enooough..."
She rubbed her arms and looked down at her kingdom below.
"Towers of coins are still too little,
These haaands could hold the world but it'll
Neeever be enoooough,
Never be enooough...!
For me..."
Staring up now at the widening moon, which suddenly looked much brighter in the dark sky, Peach observed its luminous face and waited. True to the plan, it already looked fuller, as if it truly had been restored to its former glow. Could it really be...? As she watched, she almost thought she could see a familiar image in its scars and craters—
"Oh, what am I doing?" She whispered. "He's gone... he can't hear me!"
Upset, she sat on a bench to think. She couldn't get all frustrated. That would never accomplish anything... but what could they do? The mushroom moon had been a legend in her family for hundreds of years, so...
How had Kamek even known how to cast that sealing spell, anyway? Where was the old star spirit??
She straightened. But wait.... Bowser had said something during his little speech—
She raised her eyebrows. Could it be?
But just before she could have a revelation, a sound at her window drew her attention. Getting up, Peach turned to the window and watched in utter amazement and delight as Yoshi's head appeared over the ledge, panting and spluttering.
"Yoshi! What are you—
"Shh!! There's guards everywhere," Yoshi whispered. "I had to climb the tower."
"Yoshi, what happened? Where is Mario??" Peach asked, leaning over the sill.
"You know as much as I do. One minute he's on my back, the next... gone. I snuck out before Bowser could care." He took her offered hand and tried to pull himself up.
"The mushroom moon," Peach sighed in disgust. "An old legend I don't have time to tell you about. But listen Yoshi, I think Mario's really trapped up there in the moon prison and he'll be stuck up there for a thousand years if we don't do something!"
"Like what?" Yoshi asked.
Peach began pacing the tower. "While Bowser was talking he said something interesting. He mentioned something about using the power of his new music star," she said. "And I could be wrong, but that might be the same one Mario and I found in the field a few days ago."
"So?" Yoshi asked.
"So, I think it might have something to do with all this music we've been hearing," she went on. "The random sudden desire to sing... And it might be giving Bowser power!"
"...So you're saying if we want to win the day, we need to sing," Yoshi said.
Peach shrugged. "Crazier things have happened."
"But how does that save Mario?" Yoshi wanted to know.
"I don't know if it does," Peach admitted, wringing her hands. "But I was just hoping if we could stop Bowser, we might find a way."
Yoshi groaned. "Oh man, I've been dealing with singing nutcases all week and now you're telling me it's the only way to save the planet."
"Well, it's not quite that serious," Peach interjected. "But please, Yoshi. We need to get the townspeople—the entire kingdom singing. We've got to steal the favor of that music star, whatever it is."
Yoshi nodded. "You got it. Want a lift?"
She nodded, but just as she was about to climb on his back there was a sudden bang at the door and Kamek burst in.
"HALT!! There you are! Intruder! Stowaway!! Get out of this tower immediately!" He screeched, swinging his wand like a bat. Meanwhile a couple of koopas grabbed the princess.
"Run, Yoshi!" She screamed. "Get help!"
Magic blasts flew everywhere as Yoshi scrambled wildly for the window, jumped onto the ledge, and leapt out without looking back.
It was terrifying until we all remember he has a flutter jump to break his fall.
After many boring seconds of falling and crashing through cloud barriers later, Yoshi could see the streets of Toad Town below him.
Somewhere in the square, Toadsworth was pointing and yelling at people to clear out.
"Go! Ma'am, take your child and leave the coffee! This is a war!!"
Luigi ran up to him, out of breath. "I don't know if we're going to make it," he said. "What's Bowser's castle doing?"
Toadsworth shook his head as Wario came running up. "It's just hovering there... MENACINGLY!" Wario hollered.
Luigi sighed. "Oh Mario, where are you?" he muttered.
Before anyone could flip out further, a small, faint shrieking filled the air.
"...Do you hear that baby flea screaming?" Wario asked. "Because I hear—
"GET OUT OF THE WAY!!" Yoshi hollered as he hurtled towards them at breakneck speed.
Luigi looked up. "Yoshi!!" He pointed. Everyone dove out of the way, except for Wario, who would have been flattened if not for the flutter jump. Landing gracefully beside them, Yoshi took a breath and straightened. "Hey guys, good to see you're still alive!"
They stared.
Then Luigi grabbed Yoshi's shoulders. "Yoshi! What's going on?? Where's Mario?"
Yoshi chuckled nervously. "Oh yeah, about that... Luigi, I'm afraid the only way we can help Mario is by singing."
Luigi didn't blink.
He didn't do anything actually. He just stood there and kept looking at Yoshi.
"Luigi. Singing. Save Mario," Yoshi repeated.
Wario snorted and slapped Luigi very violently on the back. "That's the second stupidest thing I've heard all day!" he cackled. "Like singing ever helped anyone!"
"Cheerleading," Yoshi said.
Wario snorted.
"Look, it doesn't matter! Peach said we needed to sing if we're gonna have any hope of stealing Bowser's power, so that's what we're gonna do!" Yoshi looked around expectantly.
The others did too.
"Ehm, pardon my confusion, but what are we waiting for?" Toadsworth asked.
Yoshi cleared his throat. "Oh. I, uh, just assumed that music would start playing for our impromptu dance number—
"That's the third stupidest thing I've heard all day," Wario interrupted.
Luigi shoved him out of the circle. "Well, I'll do it if it'll help, but we're gonna need the rest of the townspeople too," he said. "And some of them have already evacuated—
"I DONT CARE WHO'S EVACUATED!! This is a war man!! Just get as many people as you can singing our song!" With that, Yoshi ran off down the street, looking desperately for—
Aha! Spotting a convertible toad car parked by the sidewalk, he bolted into the cab and pounded on the radio, blasting a loud chord through the street.
From out of nowhere toads popped their heads out of pipes and cars at the sudden beat.
"AW YEH!!"
(The song is Break Free from Super Mario Odyssey:)

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"Hey, I think I know this song!" Wario spoke up.
"I can't imagine how," Luigi snorted.
Yoshi jumped on top of the car hood and grabbed a megaphone.
"SMASH THROUGH THE BLOCKS THAT BAR YOUR WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!"
"YEAH!" A couple of toads screamed. Toadsworth swung his cane around like a microphone.
"No time for fear, just leeeet it all fall away—
"—all fall away!" Backup toads hollered.
"Nobody belieeeeeves in me and you, just look at the way they stare," Yoshi continued, motioning at people like a maniac.
"COME ON!!" Backup toads yelled.
Luigi took a deep breath and stared skyward at the floating castle. "So what if we liiiiive in a walled garden, as long as I've got you then I don't care!"
The music somehow blasted through speakers all across town now, rallying the people to stand and sing as airships began to close in overhead.

Far across town, somewhere in a flowery plain, the faint sounds of their final song carried on the wind over the hilltops. It passed over fields of butterflies and flowers, until finally coming to reach the nonexistent ears of a certain giant plant with pansy petals. He had big ginormous spots and an even more ginormous head.
And it was PETEY PIRANHA, that's who!!
...Sorry
Anyway, the distant music reached him like a tiny stirring of butterflies about his head. Hearing it, he suddenly stirred from his sleep and unfolded like a leafy monster.
(Here insert appropriate piranha thought)
Epic rock music blasted over the countryside as Petey got up and lumbered towards the city like a big lion, inexplicably drawn like a moth to flame.

Yoshi was having good luck for once in spreading his song, having hitched a ride on top of a bus full of people who were completely oblivious to the invasion (earphones). Before he knew it he found himself in the streets of Mushroom City.
By now the groove had seriously caught on, being piped out of speakers on street corners and skyscrapers.
"Wow, who'd have thought it'd be so easy to start a mass karaoke night?" Yoshi wondered. He grabbed his megaphone. "KEEP SINGING IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!!
Kick off the wall and take the plunge
Tripping through 2 dimensions—
As the town picked it up around him, Yoshi suddenly stopped and went still. Something caught his attention on the top of a skyscraper not far away; something big...
"Petey Piranha??" He said.
That's right, our guy was scaling the building!
Like Donkey Kong, except he was drawn by music, and...
Never mind. That comparison doesn't make sense.
Swooping upward on his giant leaves like some brilliant climber in the moonlight, Petey was surmounting one of the tallest skyscrapers in Mushroom City, like a dog eager to find his dinner. Then when he had reached the tippy top, he perched on the edge and let out a BELLOW into the night, like some sort of signal that was probably supposed to mean something.

MEANWHILE, IN PEACH'S TOWER...

The sounds of Yoshi's song had long since begun to reach Bowser's Castle by the time Peach became aware that the castle was once again moving.
What? Rushing up to the window, she could suddenly see the bright lights of Mushroom City close below. Why are we—
She cut herself off. I need to keep singing!
Plunking herself down on a bench, she picked up with the rest of the kingdom.
"Follow the brick path straight to my heart...
And we'll grab the flag together, the fireworks are gonna start—
BAM!! Like a realtor's worst nightmare the wall right beside the window suddenly smashed open like someone had taken a Hulk smash to it. With a scream, Peach jumped back, squinting through dust and rubble that now filled the room.
A huge terrifying shape rose before her.
"...Petey Piranha??" she gaped in total confusion.
But that was not all! For suddenly, out of the gloom...
A shining star spirit! Tinkling like tiny music notes all about him, a star she'd never seen before suddenly parted the dust and came to float before her.
Petey gurgled happily.
"Greetings, Princess Peach. Of the Mushroom Kingdom, I presume?"
She nodded in shock.
"There's little time. I am the Music Star who recently fell to your land. If you want to save your kingdom you must keep singing!"
Peach nodded again quickly. "Of course! Music Star, I also have a friend trapped in the mushroom moon; can you help him?"
"In due time. For now you must sing!" Turning back to Petey, who stood in the entrance hole, the star continued, "Friend, I'm going to need you to bring the princess back down to her people. Can you do that? Get her to safety?"
Petey nodded in understanding.
"Thank you, Music Star!" Peach said, stepping forward. "But you must tell me... are you the one we found in the field? Did Bowser steal you?"
He nodded sadly. "Alas, princess, I was used for ill against my will. But your song is what set me free! On the eve of my capture I was struck by a strange spell which imbued my spirit with a love of music! And now I can never be the same," he explained, patting Petey on the head. The piranha growled with pleasure.
Peach stared. "So you can understand Petey?"
"Oddly yes. He heard my plea for help and his reaction time was very efficient. He is what drew Bowser's Castle out over the city and broke me free."
Petey nodded eagerly.
"Now listen. You two get to the ground and keep up the song; it is what gives me power. Without my power which Bowser was harnessing, the castle will soon fall. I am going to return to the moon and make things right," Music Star said.
Peach widened her eyes. "You... you're the moon spirit?? You're the one who fell from the mushroom moon?"
The star looked rueful. "The one and only."
Peach was amazed. "You're not... malevolent?"
Music Star laughed. "Legends always butcher the truth in some way," he said. "I am merely a steward. I hold the moon together and keep it shining bright."
He began to shimmer like a brilliant lightbulb in a home improvement store. "And now... fare thee well!"
Peach gasped as she remembered. "Quick, Petey, we must keep singing!"
As she and Petey (sort of) resumed their song, the music star began to ascend upward into the night sky, rising into the heavens to the sound of thousands of screeching voices until he was out of sight.
Peach gasped as they leaned out the hole and stared up. "Look at the moon!" she cried.
Petey made a grunt of excitement as they saw it glimmer and sparkle like a magical Pegasus from My Little Pony.
All across town, toads and people pointed and awed at the fantastic display in the sky. "Look! The moon is shining!! ...More than usual!!"
It was.
Everywhere, from the town to the top of skyscrapers in Mushroom City, the moon shone out clear and full again over the Mushroom world.
And lo and behold, back in Peach's tower, shining in a spot of concentrated moonbeams on the floor before her very feet, a manifestation of sparkles started to manifest, only to reveal—
"Mario!" she cried, dropping to her knees. "Mario, are you alright?"
Sitting up with a confused groan, he looked around and raised his eyebrows. Staring at his hands, he frowned.
"...Where the flip was I??"
Peach suddenly jumped for joy. It sounds cliche, but people can actually do it. "We did it! You're back! Our little song worked!!"
Peach took his hand and pulled him up.
Mario wasn't ready to celebrate. "No seriously. One second I was about to smash Bowser's jaw in, the next, blam. And music."
Peach chuckled. "It was the music star," she said. "The one we found the other day has been making us sing! It gives him power!"
Mario glanced past her at Petey, who waved. "But what on earth..."
"I'll explain later," Peach said. "The Music Star said we needed to get to solid ground. For now, don't you think ditching the castle is a good idea?"
Mario looked out the hole at the rapidly approaching ground, which looked like it was falling straight towards a giant baseball stadium. "...Yeah, let's get."
At once the door to the tower busted open. "NOT SO FAST!! So, you thought you could get away, did you, moi foe?" Bowser asked, striding in.
Mario looked up with his irritating smirk of superiority. "I think we have it in the bag," he commented. "Oh, and you might want to watch where you land. Your precious music star isn't exactly powering your castle anymore."
Bowser growled. "What did you do??!"
Mario walked up to him, lifted a hand, and flicked Bowser's nose.
"OWW! Dude!!" Bowser yelled, grabbing his nose.
"Mario, we need to go!" Peach said. Saluting Bowser, Mario rejoined her.
"Bowser, it's been a not-pleasure," Peach said pleasantly.
"See ya next week, nemesis!" Mario called.
Bowser snapped his fingers at him on the way out.
On cue, Petey bent down awkwardly so they could climb up on his back. When it became apparent that wouldn't work, he suddenly grabbed both of them in his leaf arms and bolted.
"What are you—
Mario didn't get to finish because the castle floor shook just then with a tremor.
"It's falling apart!" Peach cried. "It's going to crash!!"
"Nyuh whreah nyuhiii!!" Petey yelled. Which hopefully no one understood. Then, with no intelligible warning, he dove out the window.
You might think this was a suicide, but it actually was not because Petey can cling and stick to the exterior of the castle like silly putty. So it was actually like a very cool repelling activity down the castle wall, except instead of a rope he had two people in his hands.
"CURSE YOU, MARIO!!!" Bowser hollered out the window as he plummeted to earth with his castle, probably to be crushed brutally and never seen again.
Definitely.
Peach kept up the song as they headed towards the earth.
"Shake off the chains, you're running freeeeee
You'll be amazed at all that there is to see!"
Mario grinned over Petey's galloping down the buildings. "Hey, I know this one!"
"I wonder why," she rolled her eyes.
"Together we're raaaacing for the goal, and no one can stop us now...
Maybe we don't know where we're going, but we're gonna get there somehow!" they joined in.
Down in the streets of Toad Town, Luigi and Wario were taking care of business.
By business I mean koopas and other Bowser baddies who had dared to attack after seeing the castle engines give out and collapse without the power of the music star.
"Climb up the vine
and land in the clouds!" Mario continued, holding on to his leaf as Petey slammed violently on top of a building. As they went sailing for earth, Petey joined in.
"EEGYUH YEEEH WEEYHUP RUP EEYOW!!"
Mario raised an eyebrow. Peach grinned across at him.
"Cross the sea, we're still
you and me!—
"I'll follow you," Mario replied,
"(Just lead the way!)" a chorus of toads on a nearby rooftop shouted.
"You've got me over the moon, and that's no jest," Peach continued.
Mario snorted. "We're miiiiles above the rest—
The world came screeching to a slowdown as Petey finally hit solid ground.
Peach caught Mario's gaze and laughed. "Look in your eyes and I know we'll be fine!" she countered, causing him to shrug in embarrassment.
"—So let's shoot for the stars and make this love really shine!!" A random voice broke in. They looked up in utter confusion to see Wario standing there in front of them, having totally given himself away by cutting loose at the last second. The music fell to silence, ending their triumphant escape as Bowser's forces ran screaming from the city at their singing. Interpret that as you will.
Luigi came up to Wario. "Hey, look who finally came around," he said, punching him lightly on the shoulder. Wario glared, raised a hand threateningly, but did nothing.
Luigi ran up to them as Petey set the heroes down, jumping on Mario in a big hug. "Oh Mario, you did it! It was terrible for a second! But then Yoshi punched that car radio! And the moon! And the army! And everything!"
"Sounds like you did great, Luigi," Mario snickered. "Please put me down."
"I'm so glad you're safe, your majesty," Toadsworth beamed, stepping forward.
Peach hugged him. "Thank you all so much for protecting the kingdom," she said. "To all of you. We never could have done it without your song."
"Thank Yoshi. He said we would die if we didn't sing," said Waluigi, who was standing there (yay).
"Speaking of, what's with the music, anyway?" A random townsperson spoke up.
"Yeah, what's going on here?"
Peach glanced up at the sky, then shared a look with Mario. She cleared her throat. "It was apparently the result of a spell, caused by Kamek's bad aim if I gather correctly. However, in light of recent events I believe that our magical musical time should officially be over now."
"So does this mean no more impromptu singing?" Luigi asked.
"Right. I think it's over," Mario announced, looking up to the moon.
"Over? But I was just starting to have fun!" spoke up someone, who just happened to be the koopa with big eyebrows.
"You know, shockingly, you can enjoy music even outside of a musical spell," said someone else, who turned out to be Music Toad. "We can sing anytime, any way, call me up any day!"
There was a big weird pause in the square as everyone digested his bad rhyme.
Then, Peach laughed as a pleasant music started up in the background. Confused, Wario looked around and realized that someone was playing a piano on the street corner.
"Oh no, you're gonna sing another musical number aren't you??" he groaned. "...Where'd you get the piano??"
(To the tune of Some Things Never Change from Frozen II:)

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Peach took Petey's hand-leaf.
"Yes our eeeeenemies are bolder..."
"And we're all getting older," Toadsworth chuckled, grinning up at her.
Luigi hopped over with a 3DS, which he threw over his shoulder. "And the consoles go by as fast as you can bliiiIIIIIIIiiiink—!
"Petey Piranha just became our new savior," Peach continued.
"EYUHEE UHRREE YEEHHEEUH WEEYUH!!" Petey added.
Peach laughed as she started down the street towards her castle. "That's why I rely on certain Crazy thiiiiings!"
Mario fell into step beside her.
"Yes, some things never chaa-ange—
"Like the feel of your hand in mine," she grinned, taking his hand which caused Wario to cross his arms and some people to barf in the back but whatever.
"Some things stay insane," Yoshi added, trotting along,
"Like how we somehow turned out fine!"
"Like an old stone whomp that'll always flop
Some things are always Craaaaaaazyyyyy," Luigi said, sidling up beside Mario and ducking under a random toad who went flying by his head.
"Yes some things neeever change," Peach concluded,
"Like how you're always there for meeee!"
Some people barfed again. On the sidewalk, Waluigi, bedecked in bowling gear, glared at them. "Hey! This is a musical, not a rom com!"
Mario shot him a look. "Go eat nachos!"
The entire square swelled with voices as toads poked their heads out of windows and pipes to join the chorus.
"AaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!
Our enemies have all gotten bolder!!"
"Though you don't look the slightest bit older," Toadsworth laughed at the princess.
Yoshi ran up to Mario and elbowed him.
"It's time to cut loose
Beneath a moonlit skyyyyyyyyyyy—
"We'll always live in a kingdom of Crazy!" Everybody screamed happily.
"—That stands for the foobs and the lazy!" Wario put in, grinning like he was so smart.
Peach raised her arm to the Mushroom flag over the castle.
"And I promise you a normal day will ne'er go byyyyyy—
"Not after laa-ast tiiiiiiiiime!" The townspeople echoed.
"I just swallowed a flyyyyyyy—!" Waluigi put in, hanging by his foot from a street lamp.
The whole crowd of them gathered like a huge stage play cast in front of the castle.
"Sooome things never change!"
"Turn around and I'm in your hooome!" Yellow Toad appeared from nowhere, knocking from within someone else's front windows.
"Some things stay insaaane," Yoshi sang.
"Like how you only broke one bone," Luigi grunted from beneath Mario's aggressive noogie on his head.
Parakarry the mail paratroopa jumped up.
"May the good times last!"
"May this song end fast!" Blue Toad added in his tiny cameo appearance as a passing motorist.
"We're a weird cast, it's truuue..."
The 20-billion people cast bunched up together in front of the castle like they were getting a picture made for Stupidity Weekly.
"Some things neeeever change...
"And my hands are covered in goo," Music Toad observed in surprise.
"I'm hanging here by my shooooe," Waluigi put in.
"I have to go to the looooo," koopa with thick eyebrows said.
"I'm so glad we have a moooon," Luigi sang softly.
Peach took Yoshi's and Mario's hands.
"...And I'm holding on tight toooo youuu," she finished.
Mario jumped up and screamed as their unidentified organist slammed on the piano. "YEAH!!"
Then everyone who was wearing a hat simultaneously threw their headgear as high into the air as they could.
There was an awkward silence as everyone stood there, holding hands.
Then the shower of various hats and hairpieces came raining down on top of them all and covered the pavement.
Wario scratched his rear.
Mario looked around. "Um. So can we go karting now??"
And they say the hills still occasionally sing to this very day beneath the light of the full moon.

-Fin-

~~~

*red curtains slowly descend.*

Yellow Toad: And that's all folks! Thank you for joining us today at the Mushroom Entertainment Palace! We hope you enjoyed the program. And remember, no pestering the actors as they leave the theatre; they are not available for autographs!

Blue Toad: As we said, this work was the result of countless *cough cough* hours of labor and filming. Thank you for patronizing our attempts at Broadway!

Yellow Toad: As always when you watch or read or whatever you do with Crazy Mario Land productions, please check your seats for items you may have left, and try to clean up your spilled beverages from your spit takes. Teamwork makes the dream work!

Blue Toad: Okay I can't do this anymore. Go hide in your houses and recover your sense of sanity, and make sure to join us next time for our next production, Waluigi in 'The Wah Wah West'!

Yellow Toad: Don't get their hopes up! That's not a thing.

Blue Toad: Ehh.

Yellow Toad: So folks, until next time, this is Yellow Toad—

Blue Toad: And I'm Blue Toad!

Yellow Toad: Your screechy announcers, signing off! ...So long, farewell—

Blue Toad: ENOUGH SINGING!!!

*As an addendum, we have this note from the author.*

Hey guys!....
....
Okay it's over now I'm sorry
I didn't mean for the second part to be so long, but plot and stuff. Sorry about that.
It was weird I know, but mostly I was just trying to make things sort of make sense in a condensed way. And have an excuse for singing. Lots of bad singing. Hope you enjoyed that 😄
It may or may not interest you to know however that I have no plans at the moment for a second musical or anything like that. Unless popular demand demands it or something. Who knows.
I also very regrettably probably won't be doing much for this book as far as updates in the next few months, mostly because I'm going to be working very hard on finishing one of my novels (it's a Super Mario Sunshine novelization if any of you are interested in that sort of thing).

However, as ANOTHER side note, I might be making something special for this book in the coming months (look out for a new cover..?)

Anyhoo, thanks for putting up with me, don't forget to update your eye prescriptions, make sure to spontaneously burst into song now and then, and Stay Crazy!

~NintendoJedi 🎶