NintendoJedi: Well Wario, today's your lucky day.

Wario: Alright! Mario's in a coma?!

NintendoJedi: Um... no. You're finally getting a story.

Wario: *head explodes* A story about Wario?!

NintendoJedi: No, Wario about a story.

Wario: ...?

Once upon a time, in a faraway land called the Mushroom Kingdom, there lived a lovely princess. Her name was Peach, and all men, lowly and privileged, were smitten by her. She loved to pass the days tending the flowers, relaxing out in the sunshine, and being in the presence of her dearest friends. But this is not, however, a happy tale. A great misfortune was soon to visit her, and all the kingdom with her...
Our story happened on one bright, beautiful day, when the birds were singing and the world was almost perfect, that the author (that is me) plucked her out of her almost perfect world and put her in an old run-down trailer where an apparent miser lived. Junk food wrappers and stinky laundry adorned the worn furniture, and the foul air smelled of rotting car leather. (You may only imagine what this smells of.) It was, to say the least, a calamity most vile.
It was not, however, to be endured alone. For thankfully, I, the mean author of this unfortunate tale, provided all her friends to be there with her.

Peach: Ah, glorious! My friends cometh to rescue me!

Mario: Fear not, fair maiden, for I have come to rescue thee!

Yoshi: And so dost his loyal steed, the mighty Yoshi!

Luigi: Verily, I loathe to be the bearer of ill tidings. But nay, I do not believe this to be a rescue.

Peach: Then pray, sir minstrel, tell me what this may be?

NintendoJedi: This is story time.

Wario: That's right, suckers!

Wario smashed his seat down into a... seat, then opened a huge, ancient book. Everyone but Waluigi made priceless faces that would later make it onto the cover of Stupidity Weekly.
"So why are we at Wario's house?" Toad spoke up.
"You mean his roadside loser hut?" Daisy asked.

NintendoJedi: Because I put you there.

Wario: And I'll have you know, I am not doing that bad financially. Have you forgotten my company?

Waluigi: It's the real deal, dude.

Daisy: Okay then, why does your house look like it was made of cardboard box scraps and old outhouses?

Wario: It's an artistic expression.

Mario: Fear not, my good people, for I am the dashing hero of this mad tale, sent to save thee all!

Peach: Verily thou must be, my brave knight. Pray tell me, what canst we do to assist thee?

Mario: Holdest down the foul fatso there, and I will break down yonder door with all the strength I possess!

Wario: EXCUSE ME!!

Luigi *singing to a small tamborine*: And so spake the knight in red and blue armor, whilst the fatso trembled as his heart grew harder.

Mario: Yoshi, my regal steed! Spring to my aid, and I shall sweep the lovely maiden from her feet through yonder door!

Yoshi: NEIGHH!!

Peach: Oh sir knight, I thank thee immensely! If ever I canst repay this favor-

Mario: Think naught of it, fair princess, and yet, the world! There be-est only one thing my heart doth desire.

"Well, I definitely did not expect to see a stage play today," Toad said.
Waluigi rolled his eyes. "Okay guys, you're delaying the story! You cannot be serious."

Peach: Verily, we art sincere. *giggles*

Waluigi groaned. "I'm gonna need a barf bag."
"OKAY PEOPLE! I'm going to read now," Wario said. "It's the bestest story you'll ever hear!"

Mario: A high claim that is, as a fine tale here is already being woven, as we even speak.

Peach: And the words that cometh forth from thy lips are like forest dew after a spring rain, sweeter than honeysuckle and soothing like the harp.

Luigi *strumming a harp*: So spake the princess gazing upon a noble knight there-

Wario: SHUT UP ALREADY!!

NintendoJedi: Just so y'all know, you're not allowed to leave until Wario finishes his story, so don't bother trying to Shakespeare your way out of it.

Daisy: Dang it.

Mario: I cannot speaketh a lie, and I declare it is no act! Cannot the heart speak its dues when the time is right?

Toad jumped up. "Dues? As in Mountain Dews? I want some!"

Peach: Your dues may come, sir knight, I assure thee verily. But for the present, it is befitting we recline and hear a tale, or a tempest may rise against us. Ah, how the darkness of the world dost challenge love's undimmed beauty at the choicest of times!

Waluigi: I have seriously lost half my brain cells trying to decipher what this is.

Wario: It's repulsive garbage, that's what. YOU IDIOTS CANNOT BE SERIOUSLY DOING THIS!

Luigi: *trills on a lute*

Yoshi: That means we jest not. We have not a jester present; would thou be interested?

Wario: IM NOT PLAYING YOUR STUPID MEDIEVAL GAME!! YOURE GONNA LISTEN TO THIS STORY AND YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT!!

He sat and took a deep breath. Then, at long last, Wario began to read.

Once upon a time, in a faraway land called Atlantis, there lived a lovely princess. But her kingdom was not of the usual sort. It lay upon an island in the middle of the ocean, a place brimming with knowledge and advancement and gold. Glorious, glorious gold...

NintendoJedi: Um, Wario, you're drooling on the book.

Wario: Um, that's the ocean surrounding the island.

But like all things that are precious, the city was soon to be submitted to a grave danger. The evil King Bowser of the neighboring country bore a great desire for this city's riches, and his greed extended to the depths of the ocean. The impending doom was nearly upon them all...
The scholars of the time were not taken unawares. Several years ahead of this time, a certain magician whose service was to the king of Atlantis uncovered an ancient prophecy, fortelling the nation's downfall. It would be a cataclysm such as the world never had and never would see again...
Desperate, the king summoned his advisors for advice.
They told him then of another tidbit, a scrap of surviving information in the depths of the ancient book, which gave a glimmer of hope. There was one, it was said, who could save their kingdom from forever sleep. Strong, brave, one young man with a heart of gold...

On the other side of the world, in a dumpster, a fat guy sneezed. With a self-pitying groan, Wario pulled himself out of the garbage and headed out with his latest haul, which was a half-eaten Chinese food take out.
"Such is the state of my miserable life," he said aloud.
Then suddenly POOF! In a great pink puff of smoke, a koopa with a pink shell and weird hat and many other strange adornments appeared floating before him on a cloud.
"Greetings, great one," she addressed him. "Oh, I have found thee at last!"
Wario looked around. "Uh, are you talking to me, fruitloop?"
"Oh, come, I beg of thee, sir," she implored. "There is precious little time."
"Woah, woah, woah," Wario interrupted. "The only place I'm going is to my armchair to root for some garlic." He showed her the leftovers.
"But I cannot have misread the prophecy!" She cried. "You surely must be the one for which I seek!"
Wario looked her over. "Yeah, sorry lady, you're not really my type."
She blinked. "Oh, but you must come! Perhaps the king can tell you."
"King?! What king?"
"Why, the king of Atlantis! He is in dire need of your help, my great hero!"
Wario paused. "Hero? You think I'm a hero?"
"Well, strong, short and firm... you match the description of the one in the prophecy!" She said.
Wario blinked and stared into space for a moment. Then he looked back at her.
"Wait. I'm lost. So you think I'm a prophesied hero destined to save your country?"
She paused. "Well... yes!"
Wario looked at nothing in particular.
"BWAHAHAHAHA! AAAAAHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
"What is so funny?" She asked.
"Yeah right," he said. "I'm a hero and you're a kooky magician from a golden civilization!"
"Right!" The koopa replied.
Wario stopped. "Wait, what do you mean, 'right'?"
"Exactly! You're the one who's going to save the city of gold from eternal destruction!"
"Woah, hold the phone! City of gold?"
"Yes, of course! Atlantis!"
Wario paused and turned to the audience. "Well folks, when life hands you a city of gold, don't be a bum about it."
"I'm in! Where's the gold?" He asked.
The koopa laughed. "Atlantis, of course! Oh, come, dear hero, there's no time to waste!"
Wario jumped up and even forgot about his leftovers. "That's right! I'm the hero. Let's go save the gold at Underpantis!"
"Atlantis," she corrected.
"Yeah, sure, whatever."

On the other side of the world, in a great, glittering throne room of blue and gold, a cloud of smoke appeared. Out of the poof came the koopa magician accompanied by a fatso. Immediately richly-dressed people began to gather around them, shouting questions and gawking.
"My lady! You're back!" Called one goofy-looking goomba in a wizard hat. "Excellent! The king is anxiously awaiting you."
He led them out of the curious throng and up the aisle, towards the great throne. It was enormous and stretched in giant columns up to the ceiling high above, covered with murals of toad angels and other random imagery. On the tiny cushion of the seat rested an even tinier old toad, who was Toadsworth. On his head rested an even tinier crown that looked like a pearl.
"Your Majesty, behold, our hero!" The koopa lady showed him forward and bowed respectfully. Wario stood there and picked his nose.
"Ah, yes... may I ask your name, sir hero?" The king asked.
"The name's Super Wario," he replied, wiping it on his shirt. "Where's the gold?"
Toadsworth blinked.
"Uh, I mean... what do you guys want me to do?"
"Um... right, well... you see, King Bowser of our neighboring land has threatened to destroy us in three days if we do not comply to his demands."
Wario snorted. "Is that it? Just do what he says, man! What do I look like, a diplomat?"
The koopa covered her mouth. Toadsworth just stared. "Yes, well... I cannot do that, you see..."
"And why not?" Wario asked.
The king sighed. "He wishes to marry my daughter."
"So?"
"So?! This ravenous beast will take her away forever! I can't just hand her over!!"
Wario shrugged. "Why not?"
Toadsworth shook his head. "Perhaps she herself will explain it to you. My royal page! Summon the princess!"
There was a slam, then a skinny fool dressed in a jester's garb tripped into the room. It was Waluigi.
"Um... I can't get her, sir," he said.
"And why not?" Toadsworth demanded. "Where is she?"
Waluigi gulped and tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Um... Well.... I dunno."
"Here I am, father," a strong voice spoke up from the doorway.
They all looked up to see the princess, an eye-catching young woman with golden hair in a pink Arabian princess' garb. Her ponytail flowed in the imaginary wind and seemed to offer golden coins into his very hands-
Wario's jaw hit the floor. Then he turned to the king. "I'll deal with this beast for ya, and in return I only want half your gold coins and your daughter's hand," he offered.
Toadsworth blinked. "Ah... well..."
"Father!" Peach cried as she strode in. "What is going on?"
Toadsworth scratched his head. "Well dear, this is our hero... Super Wario. He's come to slay the dragon."
The princess stopped beside his throne and turned up her nose. "He doesn't look like a hero to me."
Wario was hardly listening as he slowly inched closer. Peach stared at him and put up a thin veil over her mouth.
"Yes, well... listen, sweetie. He's going to take care of this for you."
She crossed her arms. "That still doesn't change my decision. I still don't think he's the hero."
"I know, dear," Toadsworth said.
Wario frowned. "What decision?" He asked. "What are you people talking about?"
"Well, you see...  my daughter was already promised to a prince of another kingdom. Betrothed since birth, in fact. My daughter has tried to convince me that he is, in fact, our hero."
Wario growled. "Well, that's ridiculous! The prophecy called for a short, fat guy, and that's what you're gonna get!"
Suddenly the doors burst open again, and in stumbled a royal minstrel in green carrying a trumpet. He quickly brought it up and blasted a loud and annoying BLARP!
"Introducing his royal highness, Prince Mario!"
Wario's jaw fell off. "WHAT?!!"

Mario: YEEEAAAAAAAAAH! Now THAT'S what I'm talking about!

NintendoJedi: ...

Mario: Um... I mean... Yea. I must confess, this sudden appearance of a prince doth takest me aback.

Wario: I am going to smite your head from your shoulders.

Wario shook his head. "I am going to smite his head from his shoulders."
The richly-clad prince strode into the room, Luigi skittering ahead to throw rose petals in his path. He was short, fat, strong and handsome.
Wario gritted his teeth. "Oh, I'll show him strong."
The king rose in delight. "Why, Master Mario, my boy! What a wonderful surprise."
Prince Mario waved a hand. "You may dispense with the pleasantries, your highness. I come bearing news of the most urgent sort."
Peach gasped. "Oh, what is it, Mario?"
"The waters are rising. We have only to wait a short time before Atlantis is consumed."
Everyone stirred in anxiety. Toadsworth thought gravely.
Wario frowned. "Wait, I thought it was a monster, not a flood!"
Toadsworth paused. "Well, it's more of a combination of both..."
"The counselors believe Bowser was prophesied to bring about this destruction on us, and that the flood is somehow related to him," Peach said.
"So... WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT??!!"
Everyone stared at him. The prince sniffed the air as if smelling something foul, then proceeded to walk in circles as if he didn't care.
"I would recommend evacuating the entire city," he advised. "It's risky but the best option at this point."
"But we can't just up and leave!" Toadsworth exclaimed in mild surprise. "What of Bowser?"
Prince Mario stopped and looked around gravely. "I shall deal with this beast."
"Um, EXCUSE ME. I believe that's my job!" Wario butted in, stepping forward and bumping Mario aside. Disgusted, he brushed the sleeve of his jacket.
"And what makes you qualified for such a task, o stranger?" He asked disdainfully, eyeing Wario for the first time.
"Because I'm the hero of prophecy, duh," he replied icily to his face.
The prince hardened into a frown, but before either could say anything Toadsworth spoke up. "Um, perhaps we shall meet again on this tomorrow," he suggested.
"Tomorrow? What about saving the gold?" Wario asked.
"It grows late, and you will all need a full night's rest for the conclusion of the prophecy," he replied. "We can settle this in the morning."
"Is there enough time?" Wario asked. "I don't wanna sit around, dude!"
"You won't need to worry about that," the koopa magician reappeared at his side. "I think you'll find the Atlantean setting quite relaxing. Come, I'll show you your room."
"Room? Why didn't you say so?!" Wario was gone faster than a bullet.
Everyone blinked after he was gone. Toadsworth sighed and rubbed his head. "I'm beginning to think you may be right, dear," he said.
Princess Peach shook her head. "If we're actually depending on that fatso, we're doomed."
The prince frowned and turned to them. "Who is he, anyway?"

Wario drooled onto the table as he devoured a lobster like he'd been starved for a week. After being shown his room in the palace, which looked like something from an aquatic dream covered in gold and pearls, they had all gathered in an outdoor courtyard by the sea to have dinner while watching various entertainers and musicians. There were weird fruits and birds and other stuff which Wario didn't recognize, but it didn't matter. They were so good he almost wasn't bothered by the sight of the prince and princess holding hands for most of the meal.
"This banquet was a splendid idea, father," the princess spoke up while applauding a few toad acrobats. Wario noisily chomped down a pineapplish thing whole.
Mario looked disgusted but didn't say anything.
"Yes, well, I thought we could enjoy at least one more evening together," the king answered. "I know not what the morn brings."
Everyone looked a bit concerned and sad except for Wario. Suddenly he let out an enormous BELCH that nearly broke their glasses.
Everyone stared at him in shock as he wiped his mouth and kept eating.
Waluigi, the jester, quickly struck up the band to ease the tension. It was accompanied by toads and goombas and paratroopa acrobats who dazzled them all with an impressive routine, ending with an eruption of confetti that showered the dock and caused a couple of toads to fall in the water. Then came some koopa sisters who were apparently a big deal to sing some song Wario couldn't understand.
After a while it simmered down to nice music provided by a few Atlantean musicians, and the atmosphere grew more peaceful. Finally the princess spoke again.
"So, how do you plan to deal with Bowser?" She asked.
Wario almost jumped. "Oh, uh... uh... I improvise, baby," he said with a shrug. "No big deal."
She reddened a little and fell silent. Toadsworth then spoke up. "Well, I'm sure you're going to spend the night usefully."
"Yeah! Sleeping!" Wario said.
Mario glanced at him and finally shook his head and rose. "If you'd all excuse me... I'm going to take my leave."
Peach stood up too and stopped him. "Oh, wait, my prince! Won't you stay and be our guest tonight?"
Wario growled. "I thought I was your guest!"
The princess snorted as if she'd barely heard. "There is always room for my soon-to-be husband. Come," she smiled and linked her arm in his, heading off with him.
Toadsworth raised his eyebrows and glanced at Wario. Then Luigi the minstrel came by with a harp.
"I've just got to go provide them moonlight music," he said awkwardly.
Wario clenched his glass until that shattered too.

Wario was snoring contentedly, making a racket loud enough to wake the deepest sleeper, when a loud bang sounded outside his wall. With a groan, he rolled over in his wad of blankets and nearly fell head first off the bed.
"Sir hero! Wake up! Bowser is attacking!" A worried voice banged at his door.
Grunting, Wario picked himself up and flopped back over on the other side of his bed. "Let Mario handle it," he moaned. "It's his problem!"
Shocked, the voice replied, "Whatever are you talking about? You're our hero!"
"What?" Wario asked, groggily sitting up. He stared, big-eyed, at the gorgeous room that surrounded him with blue and gold, almost decorated with the sea.
"It... it wasn't just a dream?!"
"Sir, we need your help!" The voice persisted.
"Uh... uh... Okay, I'm coming! Sheesh!"
Jumping up, Wario headed for the door. But before he made it there a huge tremor shook the castle and nearly knocked over the furniture.
Picking himself up, he finally scrambled to the door and looked out. People were running everywhere screaming and panicking as the halls shook.
He finally managed to stop one and ask where the princess was.
"She's probably on the balcony with the prince," the toad replied. "At least, that's where they last were."
Setting his brow, Wario charged down the hall and tore towards the balcony in question. When he got there he found...
Well, he found... Bowser. Holding the princess. He was standing dangerously close to the edge, laughing like a maniac.
"Hey! Turtle Bits! I thought you weren't going to attack for three days!" Wario shouted.
Bowser shrugged. "Yeah. But I thought now would be funner!"
Wario growled. "Alright fatso, end of the line. Return the princess!"
"Who are you to boss me around?" He asked snootily. "I'm running this invasion!"
"Yeah, well the princess is not up for grabs!" Wario said. "Go find another!"
Bowser rolled his eyes. "Sorry weirdo, but this attack is prophesied in the books. I'm the brilliant tyrant who's going to bring the city of gold to its measly end."
"Never!" Peach cried, struggling in his grip. "You won't succeed."
Wario nodded. "Yeah! Because... Um..." he paused and looked around. "Hey, where's Mario?"
"He ran to help my father," Peach grunted. "I insisted."
"What does he need help for?" Wario asked. "Unless, of course, you were just trying to get rid of Mario, in which case -
"That not what I'm saying, you weirdo," Peach replied. She pointed to the city below, which Wario slowly peeked at. Half the gilded rooftops and sleek designs of the buildings were underwater, making the top of the palace seem like by far the safest place to be.
"Oh... crud." Wario turned to Bowser and frowned. "Alright, who cares. You can't sink all that gold! Don't you have any idea of value?"
Bowser rolled his eyes. "Duh! That's why I'm taking the princess!"
"But look!" Wario cried. "There's so much gold..."
"Excuse me! Flailing over death here!" Peach interrupted.
"You can't just drown the entire city without extracting the gold first!" Wario went on like he hadn't heard. "What is WRONG with you?"
"Dude, what's wrong with YOU?" Bowser asked. "Your head looks like you ate a football!"
"What's a football?" the princess asked. Nobody heard her.
"Well you better lay off the attack until I grab all the valuables," Wario said.
Bowser rolled his eyes. "I don't have time for that! I'm on a schedule here!"
"Well I don't care about your schedule! I care about my loot!"
"What's wrong with BOTH of you?!" A voice demanded behind them. They looked to see the prince stride onto the balcony. He shoved Wario aside. "Some hero you are. Hand over the princess kindly, or else!" he commanded Bowser.
Bowser snorted. "Yeah, like I'm gonna do it just because you said that."
Peach gasped. "Mario, look out, he's got a-
Too late. A magikoopa from above had already cast a spell, locking Mario in a cage.
Bowser laughed. "Dang, that was so easy! Why didn't I do that years ago?"
Prince Mario tilted his head. "Um, because we've never met before now?"
Bowser frowned. "Oh... you're right."
"Hey, why didn't you put me in a cage?" Wario complained.
Bowser snorted. "You're not even worth the trouble, bub."
Wario growled. "How DARE you! It's your funeral, buddy! I'm way more competent than Sir Prim-and-Proper over here!"
And with that he charged.
Everyone stared as Wario raced across the balcony fast as lightning, prepared to clobber Bowser head-on.
Bowser rolled his eyes. Then he grabbed Wario by his shirt before he made it there and flung him high in the air, up and away. His yell was soon lost as the distance grew and he became lost among the clouds.
Princess Peach watched for several long seconds. Then she facepalmed.
"Well, that happened," Bowser said. "Honestly, you guys are pathetic. Are you so stupidly peaceful that you don't even have an army?"
Peach glared at him. "We did have an army once, before we realized that fighting was savage!"
"Well, it's your funeral," Bowser said. "Or, actually... it's everybody else's funeral, and your wedding!"
"Not so fast!" A faint voice from above suddenly yelled. Everyone looked to see Wario hurtling back down toward them at the speed of gas. (Luckily, he'd eaten so much the previous night that he had enough fuel to rocket back down to earth at breakneck speed.)
Bowser squinted in confusion as he tried to figure out what it was, until suddenly... it hit him in the face.
Wario crashed on top of Bowser with a sickening crack, which was the balcony beneath them crumbling. The princess jumped out of his hand, but by then it was too late; they were all plummeting to the sea.
At the last second, Wario groped around, trying to find something to grab onto, but all he found was a strange glowing stone of some sort that Bowser had on his collar. It came loose and Wario ended up smashing it.
The magikoopa, who was the only safe one because he could fly, saw what happened. "NO! DON'T TOUCH THAT!!"
But it was too late. In a sudden burst of light, the stone exploded in his hands, blinding everyone. That was the last thing Wario saw before he blacked out.

When he came to, Wario was dreaming that he was eating a gallon of sugar. He opened his eyes and realized he was on the beach with a mouthful of sand.
He spent about five minutes hacking up gross stuff. Then a voice beside him spoke.
"I knew you would wake."
Wario jumped and turned to see the weird koopa lady on a cloud watching him.
He groaned. "What happened?" He asked, looking around. All he saw was the beach and the open sea.
The koopa smiled. "Because of you, our kingdom is safe forever. I am here to take you back home."
"Whoa, home? What are you talking about? I haven't gotten my reward yet!" He paused. "And where's Atlantis?"
She gestured to the ocean. "Safe beneath the sea."
Wario stared at her. "Are you saying that everybody died?!"
She gasped. "Oh, no! You released the curse of the koopa king when you fell."
Wario shook his head. "Sorry lady, but I think you need to see a head doctor."
"Don't you see?" She asked. "When you broke the stone that Bowser wore, you unleashed his curse! He had planned a backup in case his initial plan to marry the princess failed, which was to curse the entire kingdom if he broke that stone. But when you broke it... the curse actually turned out to be a good thing! You saved everyone!"
Wario frowned. "What do you mean? What curse?"
She laughed. "Oh, don't worry about us," she said. "Your work is done, sir hero. You truly were the one prophesied."
"But... but... my reward! WHAT ABOUT MY GOLD?!"
"The gold is gone beneath the sea, safe forever," the koopa said. "But you already have the gold you seek. It is in your heart, which is clearly made of solid gold! And now, I will give you that reward which you so obviously desire. I will take you back home!"
"What? Wait!! What happened to the -"
And then they were gone.

Meanwhile, far beneath the surface of the sea, on the ocean floor, a great, glimmering castle stood, adorned with seashells and pearls and gold. Within its great hall, filled with happy voices and rejoicing townspeople, a marriage was being celebrated that very day.
The king, a brown toadstool on his throne, watched with great pride as the kingdom saluted the prince and princess. They floated down the aisle and then came to pause by the door, happy in each other's arms.
"Well," said the princess, laughing bashfully, "perhaps he WAS the hero of prophecy."
The prince rolled his eyes. "He was a doofus, but... As long as we're together, I don't care what we are."
Peach giggled. "Oh, you."
Mario shook his head and smiled. "Stop talking."
And when they kissed, the rest of the merfolk erupted in happy cheers for the new royal couple. It was the start of a new era for Atlantis; the dawn of the peaceful reign of the merpeople.
And so it was. The hero with the heart of gold returned home alone but victorious. Thanks to his selfless efforts, the kingdom of gold survived, never to be endangered again. The evil monster was heard of no more, and his curse of the sea turned out to be the saving grace of the Atlanteans, destined to remain hidden forever in the ocean. The grand mermaid castle, and the lost city of Atlantis, still stand safe beneath the waves to this very day.

The End

...

Wario: ...

Waluigi slapped his knee. "WAHAHAHAHA! What kind of story was that?!"
"It was a fairytale!" Toad exclaimed. "I liked it! Yay! Happy ending!!" He applauded.
Yoshi tilted his head. "Why was there no appearance of a Yoshi in this story?"

NintendoJedi: You were a seayoshi, and became the grand mount of the prince at the head of the new Atlantean army.

Daisy blinked. "Wait. So everybody got turned into a MERMAID?"
Yellow Toad thought for a moment. "Yep, that's pretty much it."
Luigi chuckled. "A truly poetic tale, and a charming end."
Waluigi groaned. "Just forget the fancy speak already!"
Peach shook her head. "Verily, I never believed Wario possessed such integrity."
Waluigi snorted. "Yeah, right. Well you guys got turned into mermaids!"
Mario frowned. "I declare, I must have made the most daring of mermen ever to exist."
Wario finally regained himself. "You idiots! That's a fake story!"
"Yeah, it was cool!" Yellow Toad said. "Everybody was all awesome and stuff! Except there was kissing at the end, which is EEWWW!!"
Mario got up and headed for the door. "I do believe I have another obligation. I bid thee all a good day."
Wario laughed. "Yeah, run you crybaby prince! You're just disappointed that story isn't actually real!"
Everyone was still for a second. Then Wario said, "Although, I must say I feel kinda stiffed. I was supposed to get the gold!!"
"But you're the hero of the story! Nothing's better than that!" Waluigi said.
Wario frowned. "But I was supposed to get the princess! Why can't I even have her in a story that didn't actually happen?"
Mario frowned from the doorway. "You shut your big piehole!" He snapped.
Waluigi sighed in relief. "Oh, good. I was afraid he was gonna talk like that forever."

NintendoJedi: How do you KNOW it didn't actually happen?

And that was the tale of Super Wario who saved the kingdom of Atlantis.
This idea was actually floating around for some time, I just wasn't sure how it would turn out. So... I apologize for the weirdness. Maybe I should make that a whole novel. 😂
Of course, Wario's company is referring to Warioware, Inc. Also, referring to Bowser as 'Turtle Bits' is a bit from Bowser's Inside Story, where that is one of the character's name for him.
Anyhoo, I enjoyed working with this one. Of course, Bowser wanting to marry the princess is nothing new, but I had fun in a different setting. I am just going for randomness here, people. Don't expect anything normal. Remember that.