The Girl Who Felt Unloved

Màu nền
Font chữ
Font size
Chiều cao dòng

*TRIGGER WARNING: There is death, suicide, cutting, abuse, etc. Please do not read if it is triggering* 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                                                                    Day I Wrote This: October 5th, 2015

Jessica had always been the girl who sat in the back of the class, was noticed by no one, and always felt alone. Whenever she was noticed though it wasn't for a praise.

              As for her parents, her dad left her and her mother when she was just a baby. Her mom hit and starved her, because she blamed the girl for her father leaving. She had bruises all over her small skinny fragile form. Every night when she went home she would always try to sneak down to her room in the basement, but her mom always seemed to catch her. Her mom would tell her she was ugly, worthless, and an awful daughter.

             She always felt depressed. Once her mom was done hurting her, she would always run down to her room, lock the door and slide down to the floor. She would lay there and cry from the pain and hurt. She never knew what love was, she had never felt it. As she grew older, she stopped crying. Instead, she would just stare at herself in the mirror, as she told herself over and over again how ugly she was, and how she didn't amount to anything.

            Soon after that though, her mom followed her into her room beating her and breaking her mirror. After her mom had left, tears would stream down her face. She looked into the shattered glass and then she slowly reached out for the broken shards. She looked at herself in the shattered mirror, then looked at her wrists, slowly she started cutting her soft skin leaving long jagged cut marks. Blood started seeping down her arm, slowly she drifted off to sleep.

            After that, she started cutting herself more. Never too deep, never enough to die, but enough to feel the pain. Then she would fall asleep like nothing happened. She started wearing long sleeves and jeans to hide the cuts. She went to school and acted normal, ignoring people like they ignored her. Then high school started. She walked into one of her classrooms sitting in the back of the class. She walked to the back of the class, she noticed a boy sitting right next to her desk. He was covering most of his face with his hoodie like he was hiding from the world.

            She sat down in her seat and stared at her desk hoping he wouldn't notice or say anything to her. As the class started, she got a note thrown at her. She slowly opens the note.

          "Meet me at the park after school~Jack"

            She read the note and looked at the boy. He smiled at her, then covered his face again. Her eyes widened. No one had ever asked her to go somewhere after school with her. "Was it a trap?" She asked herself that all day. Debating if she should go or not. The school bell had rung and she started running out of school. She had ran as fast as she could to the park.

           She waited for him and waited. She started swinging on a swing, as she put her headphones in trying to block her thoughts. As she waited, she sang softly to herself. She had hoped her mother wasn't home yet.

           A few hours went by, which made the girl give up. She started walking home. The boy had run as he asked her to stop, so he could talk to her. She stopped and looked at him. This time he wasn't wearing his hoodie he was wearing a shirt and jeans. She looked at his face, noticing scars and bruises. She flinched, having flashbacks of what her mother did to her. He looked at her, realizing she was trembling and crying softly.

           He grabbed a hold of her, hugging her tightly. Her eyes widened and she hugged him back as she buried her face into his chest. He smiled, as he held her tightly. She looked up at him, realizing that he understood her pain. He looked down at her as he noticed that she was always wearing a hoodie. He raised his eyebrows, he slowly pulled her sleeve up. He looked at her arms, seeing the cuts, the bruises and how skinny and fragile like she was.

            She started crying. His eyes widened as he told her never to do it again. He realized how much pain she was in. He saw himself in her, and he could tell someone at her home was beating her because of all the bruises and her constant flinching. She noticed that he had realized what happened and she tried to get away from him, but he pulled her back and showed her his marks, the bruises and the faint scars, telling her everything was gonna be ok, he was there for her.

            Every day after that, they would meet there at the park, no matter the weather. Every day, though Jessica's mom's beatings got worse. She tried to cover it up, but her mom started hitting her face, leaving her with broken bones and black eyes. Months went by and Jessica couldn't take it anymore. She gave up. Finally, wanting to leave the world. She had loved the boy, but she was in so much pain. That night, when her mom was done beating her, she wrote a note: "I'm sorry, I couldn't do it anymore, I can't stand her hurting me, I can't stand feeling broken. I love you, Jack. Find a girlfriend and be happy, don't end up like I did....."

            She went into the bathroom cutting her soft, fragile skin again, but this time she wrote things like"Broken and Unloved" into her skin. She slowly got up and grabbed the pill bottle she had been saving for months knowing that she would give up sooner or later. Taking her time, she took all of them and laid down on her bed, hoping to never wake up again.

         I'm writing this story because I am that boy, I'm Jack... Once I found out the next morning what happened, I cried, more than I have ever cried, I hated myself. I blamed myself. I was planning on asking her to be my girlfriend that day, right after school. I had loved her, I still love her. She left and she never got to know that I felt that way. I miss her, but still I took her advice. I found someone else to love and I got married, I have two lovely children, if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be here. I would have ended. I'll never love anyone as much as I loved her. 



Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen2U.Pro