VANCE ARDEN.

"AGENT NINE-two-five."

Someone behind me tried to caught my attention. I turned my head over my left shoulder to confirm who it was. I didn't notice that I was pacing out in the midst of celebration.

As soon as I peek around, a fine woman approached my direction. She dodged her right shoulder with the person who almost bumped her.

"Yes, Commander Atalia?" I queried as my brows arched.

"When the party is done, please come over to my office." she paused, "I need to tell you something important." she gave me a small smile.

I nodded. "Copy, Ma'am," I replied and I smiled as hers.

She gave me a tap on my right shoulder before she finally vanished from my sight.

I sighed.

Something important. Her voice echoed in my mind. 

Ano naman kaya ang sasabihin sa 'kin ng babaeng 'yon? Hindi talaga uso ang pahinga kay Commander. Kahit magbibispiras na ng Pasko, nagtatrabaho pa rin. At syempre, dinadamay niya kami.

Napagawi ang tingin ko sa kanina ko pang bitbit na paper bag na itim.

I received it as an exchange gift awhile ago. I still don't know what's inside and who's my gift giver. It's twenty-third of December and our Unit were celebrating a Christmas Party.

Ewan ko ba kung nasaan na si Jake? Kalahating oras na rin mula no'ng nagpaalam siya sa 'kin na magbabanyo siya. Ngayon pa talaga na wala naman akong ka-close sa mga nandito, nilayasan pa ako ng gago. Bahagya naman akong napahakbang pakaliwa nang may tumabi sa gawing kanan ko. Halos kasing tangkad ko na babae na may mahabang maalon na buhok.

I cleared my throat as I leaned my back against the wall. I looked down and pierced my gaze down my shoes.

What is she doing here?

"What's up?" she casually asked and I had a glimpse of her from my peripheral vision. She turned her head at me. "What did you get? A mug?" she slightly chortled as she fixed her pastel dress. The heels of her shoes clomped against the floor as she moved.

I slowly rerouted my gaze upon her. "Haven't opened my gift yet. . ." I gave her a single nod. "What happened and you dressed like that, Colt?" I asked her, teasingly.

"Why?" Colt showed off her outfit at me. "Should I wear a black dress instead? Magpapaasko pa lang naman ngayon, Arden," bahagya siyang ngumiti, "Hindi mo pa lamay."

"No—what I mean is. . ." I trailed off but I decided to not continue my sentence.

Nine months have passed but Colt's still rude and mean at me. I don't know, and I can barely fathom, why she talks to me that way. Am I too shady? Am I such a nagger or perhaps, a nosy jerk whenever she's around?

After Atalia gave us the privilege to join her team, our team decided to live together in one apartment. We share the food expenses and payments for monthly bills. Yet, this woman wouldn't get tired of getting into my ass nerves.

I was taken a back when someone rushed to our spot. It's Jake.

"Vance—" bigla siyang napahinto at napabaling sa katabi ko. "Hoy, 'langya? Ganda natin ngayon, Iya ha?" komento niya at sumabay ang mata nito sa pag ngiti niya sa kausap.

"Uutang ka ba?" taas-kilay na tanong pabalik ni Colt. "Hindi mo ako madadaan sa mga papuri Jake, 'yong water bill last month ako nag-abono."

Hindi agad nakasagot si Jake at hinawakan ang batok saka naningkit ang mata.

"May kapustahan lang ako sa pagsuot nito, Arden. 'Wag ka nga," sarkastikong paliwanag ni Colt sa 'kin.

May kapustahan? Sino?

"Ah Jake, sila Jade at Ryde pala?" nakisali na ako sa usapan.

Agad naman umaliwalas ang mukha niya dahil naiba ang topic. Lokong 'to.
Hindi ko naiwasang mapailing nang kaonti.

"Ah, si Jade, pinatawag ni Atalia. Si Harrison. . ." luminga siya sa paligid. "Alam ko hindi um-attend 'yon e."

Marami pang mga empleyado ng C.I.U ang na sa event place. Sa rooftop lang naman kami ng building ng main office ni Atalia nag-celebrate. Ang iba'y kumakain pa at karamihan naman ay nagkukwentuhan.

"Bakit hindi siya pumunta?" tanong ko kay Jake.

Palagi na lang kasi hindi dumadalo si Ryde sa mga program o ano mang selebrasyon na pinagdiriwang ng Unit. Imbis na sumagot at magpaliwanag, binigyan lang niya ako ng isang kibit-balikat. Hinawakan niya ang kaliwang balikat ko at lumayo kami nang kaunti kay Colt. Kausap niya ang isa sa katrabaho namin.

"Anong galawan 'yon?" bungad na tanong niya sa 'kin.

Napakunot ang noo ko at hindi naintindihan ang tanong niya.

"Ha? Anong galawan pinagsasabi mo, Jake?" pabulong pero mariin kong sambit saka mabilisang lumingon sa gawi ni Colt.

Narinig ko ang pagbuntong hininga niya, saka ako tinapik sa balikat.

"Dude!" mariin niyang sambit, "Compliment her! Putragis ka Vance, pinang-exchange gift mo ba 'yong utak mo?"

"Why are you scolding me for something I don't know?" my brows met as I creased them. "And what the hell on earth? Compliment her? Who? That woman?!" I lose the gap between us, but I still made sure that no one could hear our nonsense conversation.

Jake, what the actual fuck?

"I don't have a dictionary with me." napahilot siya sa sintido at lumapit sa akin. "Common sense, Vance, purihin! Can't you see how stunning she is, today?"

Sabay kaming napalingon sa kinatatayuang pwesto ni Colt. Mula sa pwesto namin, natanaw ko ang paghawi niya sa kanyang nakalugay na buhok papunta sa likod kanyang kanang tainga. Pero agad kong inalis ang tingin sa kanila nang maramdaman kong gagawi rin siya sa 'min.

Hinarap ko si Jake. "It's never gonna happen, Jake." napaiwas ako ng tingin. "Honestly, I don't even know where to start. . .I don't know what are the things I should praise about her."

Dahil sa sagot ko, napakamot ng batok si Jake at naningkit ang mga mata. Hindi ko alam bakit kailangan niyang mainis?

"'Wag mo kong paandaran, Vance." umiiling na saad nito, "Start telling her, you like her hair—"

"What?!" I trailed off as I flinched my head. "I don't like her hair and I'm not kidding." I shrugged as I frowned. "I'm prejudice about it." I looked down, then my lips formed into a thin line.

Inikot ni Jake ang katawan ko paharap sa pwesto ni Colt saka kinontrol ang paglakad ko paabante.

"I'm helping you out here, Vance." tinulak niya ako hanggang sa makarating kami sa kinatatayuan ng babaeng pinag-uusapan namin.

"Just be honest about what you see and feel about her. Girls like that." dagdag pa niya sabay kindat.

Hindi ko alam bakit ako nagpatianod sa pwersa ni Jake. But I'm not feeling well about this crap idea. And for the record, is Colt even a girl inside?

"May sasabihin daw si Vance sa 'yo, Iya," diretsong saad ni Jake na parang pinagkanulo niya ako sa babaeng 'to.

Anong sasabihin ko?

Sinamaan ko nang tingin si Jake. 

He just gave me small nod and he mouthed. "Compliment her." he then left the event place.

Wala na akong magawa kung hindi sabayan ang kalokohan ni Jake. At nang tinuon ko ang gawi kay Colt, naagaw ng atensyon ko ang hawak niyang sage paper bag.

Kaparehas ng paper bag na ginamit ko para sa ka-exchange gift ko? Bahagya kong sinipat. 

Shit! The gift she received came from me! I gulped a lump inside my throat and started to step back my right foot. Colt gave me a puzzled look upon noticing my odd gesture.

"Arden, you look pale. What happened?" she asked, and even if I heard from her tone that she's concerned, I turned my back at her. I immediately rushed outside the exit door of the event place.

As I walked down the stairs, I couldn't lie, but my chest is throbbing hard inside. I even feel my ears burning red. I walked down even faster. As soon as I reached the elevator and get inside. I weakly leaned my back as I heavily gasped for an air.

Of all people, bakit siya pa ang naregaluhan ko? Kabanas kasing mga pakulo nila. May pa-codename pa sila para daw anonymous ang dalawang magpapalitan ng regalo. Bigla ko naman naramdaman ang string ng paperbag na kanina ko pa hawak. Mabuti naman at hindi ko 'to naiwan. Ayoko nang bumalik do'n. Pagti-trip-an na naman ako ni Jake kapag nagkita kami.

Inayos ko ang tayo ko at saka namang bukas ng pinto ng elevator. Tumigil nang ilang segundo ang tibok ng puso ko nang makita kung sino ang taong na sa likod ng pinto na bumukas.

Habol-hininga siyang nagsalita, "Douche!" bigla niya akong binato ng hawak na sandals.

Mabuti na lang at mabilis akong napayuko para umiwas. "What the hell is wrong with you, Colt?" I annoyingly asked her as I slightly bent my knees  to dodge her attack.

She got inside the elevator and clicked the floor to the office of Atalia. I stood firm and kept a distance from her.

Narinig ko ang pagbuntong hininga niya habang dinadampot ang sandals na ibinato niya sa 'kin.

Wait a minute. . .

"If you want to die, I could give it as soon as you asked it from me," saad niya sa pagitan ng paghahabol ng hininga.

I can't look at her direction. I just—I just don't know.

"W-why did you follow me here?" hindi ko na naiwasang magtanong.

Nagulat ako sa sunod na nangyari dahil isa-isang tiningnan ni Colt ang kabilaang pulsuhan ko. Pati ang likuran at bahagi ng dibdib ko, lahat iyon mabilisan niyang kinakapa at hinawakan.

"You're not hurt?" she met my eyes.

I am not drunk, but why I'm seeing her worried eyes?

"W-what? I'm not!" I retorted back as my forehead creased.

She then, let go of her hands off my polo. She let out a relieving sigh at the corner of the elevator.

"Akala ko another phobia na naman," mahina niyang saad pero narinig ko ang komento niya.

Hindi ako agad naka-imik matapos mag-sink-in sa 'kin ang lahat.

She cared for me? For real?

Inayos niya ang medyo nalukot niyang pastel dress, saka muling nagsalita, "Next time na mamumutla ka, 'wag na sa harap ko ha? Damn it, Arden! I shouldn't be, but why do am caring this much about you?"

Hindi ko gaanong narinig ang huli niyang sinabi dahil halos bulong na lang ang ginawa niya.

I cleared my throat and finally faced her. "I'm sorry about that," is what I got able to say.

A moment of silence conquered us. None of us initiate to start a conversation. She suddenly looked upon her wrist watch. Na sa pang-eleventh floor pa lang kami. Sunod naman niyang ginawa ay sinuot ang bitbit na sandals. At nang kaliwang paa na ang sinusuotan niya, bigla siyang nawalan ng balanse. Hindi ko alam pero hindi ko siya sinalo. Lumagapak sa sahig ng elevator si Colt. Bakit naman hindi ako nakakilos?

"Fuck." narinig kong inda niya at marahan na tumayo at nagpagpag ng damit.

Akmang aalalayan ko na sana siya pero bigla niya akong sinamaan nang tingin. Binawi ko na lang ang kamay kong nakalapit na sa kanya. Mabuti na lang at bumukas na ang elevator. Mabilis akong lumabas at hindi na siya nilingon.

Every second when she's around, I'm just humiliating myself! Damn you, Vance! She's right, you're such a coward dick!

"Arden, sandali!" narinig kong tawag sa 'kin ni Colt.

I let out a sigh and stopped from walking fast. Fine, I'm gonna do it. I glared and faced her. She stepped back when I pierced my eyes against her soul.

"No matter how much I try—" I looked down as I felt my hands trembling. "I can't. . ." I gazed up my head at her. "I can't say good things to someone like you, who keeps insulting and making fun of me." I gasped for an air as I paused.

Her lips parted but no words came out.

I looked down and when I turned my head back, I fixated my gaze at her. "My egotistical principles couldn't. So I'll be doing the same thing, instead."

I tightened the grip of my hand to the paper bag holder. "I really hate your hair, Colt. Your bangs hides your face from—" I gulped, "From me. . .and frankly, I'm extremely prejudice about it."

"Seriously, Arden?" she retorted back as her brows furrowed. "That's how you offend someone? You flatter their heart?" she then scoffed and rolled her eyes.

Did I say something wrong? Why she's reacting the opposite way?

"What did you just say?"

I heard her infuriatingly whined and mumbled, "Unbelievable! Feeble minded douche!" she then clicked her tongue. She shoved her bangs upward, then I saw her face clearly.

I didn't move from my spot. I amusedly watched how agitated she is right this moment. I can't help myself but form a little smile on my lips. I bit my lower lip to refrain myself from doing it.

She counted her fingers at my face as she moved closer to me. "Fears of heights, needles, your own blood and a certified douche!" she panted heavily. "What else could make you lame, huh? Name it all, and I'll take it as you are!" her ears were fuming red. I can evidently see her veins on her neck.

Instead of answering her questions, I slapped her neck.

Dumapo ang tingin niya sa kamay ko at bumalik sa 'kin. "How?!" marahas niyang inalis ang kamay ko sa leeg niya. "How can you ruin this moment, pretty damn well?"

"M-may lamok!" depensa ko at ipinakita ang palad ko kahit wala namang  nakadikit na insekto. Hindi niya iyon tiningnan at umirap na lang sa hangin saka winasiwas ang kanang kamay sa ere. 

"Forget it." her face turned dead serious. "Bear in your mind that we never had this conversation." she then walked away.

As I watched her fine back vanished from my sight, I plastered a confident smirk on my lips.  Even if. . . a cardiac muscle inside my chest, started pounding freaking hard.

No, Colt. What I'll bear in my mind is I made your heart flattered.