April was lying down on her light blue twin-sized bed, fidgeting with her boyfriend and eating her other one out, both of whom were named "Smartphone" and "Slice of Pizza" respectively.

"Mom!" she shouts.

"Yes, April? What do you want?" she replies as she walks over to her room. She leans by the doorway.

"A while ago during assembly we talked about SportsFest, and I don't know which sport I should go to. What do you think I should take? Can I play badminton?"

"We don't have a racquet," says her mum. "Maybe you should join basketball, since you're pretty tall."

"But I can't shoot."

"Then maybe you can just do relay racing, it's fun! What kind of sports activity wouldn't have relay?" Mrs. Jones suggested.

"Nooo! Relay sucks."

"Oh, I'm just pulling your leg, April!"

"Have I told you that I'm in Casa de Navio? Blue team, basically."

"Oh, the houses were organized so soon? Time really does fly."

"And all the good people are on Crucifijo. That includes Ann — you know, Ann Lawson? My friend? And the Fujiwara twins, Ykielle and Kim too!"

"Well, of course the good people are on Crucifijo. It means 'crucifix' in Spanish!" Mrs. Jones teased.

"But Navio is a big, blue ship! It sails!"

"And the Cangrejo is an inkblot test. Ann's parents commented about her opinion of it on our Viper, you know."

"Really? Wow. And Campana is like Taco Bell. Because it is a bell, but yellow—"

"Just do your homework, April. Or no more WiFi or Taco Tuesday for you."

"Noooooooooooooooo!" wails April. "Mom, please—"

"Well, it's not about what you're good at, is it?" she asks. "If you lose, so what? As long as you had fun, right?"

April is a corpse, and her arm rags down her bed to reflect that even further. "Magic 8-ball, go! Will Navio win Sportsfest?"

"Outlook not so good."

She puts on a straight face. "Would I be any good at basketball?"

"My reply is no."

"Would I be any good at football?"

"Not in a million years."

"What about volleyball?"

"It is decidedly so."

She puts down the 8-ball on her desk and takes out her phone. "What can height do in volleyball?"

"Taller players have a higher reach, can get above the net more easily, and have more options for hitting. Volleyball is a tall man's sport, you dingus," says Google.

"Incorrect. Volleyball can also be a tall woman's sport!"

"Back at you, buckaroo," refutes the passive-aggressive search engine. "It can also be a tall enby's sport!" April raises her hands in defeat and surrender.

"Fine. If it's just about reaching the net and hitting the ball, it can't be that hard, right...?"