Mr. Grayson enters the classroom. He sighs. "People keep asking me what house I am. Guys, I'm the SportsFest Committee Head. I can't be biased, but my favourite colour is yellow."

Either that's an oxymoron, or he's a hypocrite I actually like.

"C-A! C-A-M! C-A-M-P-A-N-A! CAMPANA! HEY! HEY! CAMPANA! HEY! HEY!" shout every other Campana in the room.

Ronald stands up and walks towards Grayson, pointing at him. "Your favourite colour is yellow? Wait, that's illegal!"

"Ron, your tie is blue," Arra points out. "Hypocrite!"

"Your teeth are white," Kim replies, looking at her.

"Your sketchbook is red," Ronald yells.

Kim pulls out her sketchpad. "Jokes on you! It's white!"

"Ronald, the stripes on your tie are yellow," Ysobel butts in.

"Ann, your Jatorade is red," states Martyn.

"Oh, so you're bringing me into this now?" Ann questions. "I bet ten pounds the colour of your underwear is white."

"Actually, it's—"

April laughs. "It's blue!"

Oh, you saw it?

"FOLKS, THE PAGES OF EVERYONE'S NOTEBOOKS ARE CRUCIFIJO," announces Nicole.

Jokes on you. My notebook is full of doodles, so it's dominantly black.

"That's why I don't do notes," states Sion.

"I take down notes to limit the white space," Linsey replies.

"Anyway, enough about SportsFest. Let's get on with our lesson," says Grayson. "Look at this meme."

"I think some of you are also familiar with Reddit... Does anyone know the subreddit 'Yes Yes Yes Yes No'? "

"Why the surprised pikachu meme?" asks Sandee.

"r/woooosh," goes April.

"It should be a bunch of nines stringed together instead," Sandee replies. "You're the one that needs wooooshing."

"A bit more intense and you would've gotten onto r/prorevenge," notes Vick.

"r/ihavereddit," says April.

"That's World War 2 in a nutshell. The feeling of everything going your way until the Duolingo bird tells you you forgot your German lessons."

"Fudge, I haven't done my Chinese—" stutters April.

"Uh oh," responds Sandee. "你家现在怎么样?"

April makes a face.

Yep, she's telling the truth.

"I meant homework."

"Oh, fudge. Sorry."

I did mine, but I also doodled all over it.

"Sir, which house is France?" asks Martyn.

"Rip," says April.

"Sorry, Navio. If anyone calls you losers, redirect them to France. You fought till the end while they surrendered."

"With an -ed, surrendered in past tense? Bet that when World War 3 happens, they oof again," says Andrew.

A/N: Sorry to all the French people reading this

"Well, I'll bet that next SportsFest Navio will also fall to the hands of Campana," Ysobel retorts.

"LET'S GO, CAMPAVIO!" screeches Rainard.

"SOMOS LUCHADORES! NAVIO DE CAMPIONES!"

"Order, order in the classroom!" shouts Grayson. "Set all tables aside facing each other on opposite sides of the classroom! It is time for the Nuremberg Trials to begin!"

"Sir, what do we do?"

"I want five people in the defendant's seat," shouts Grayson.

"CANGREJO FOR EXISTING," Dolan suggests.

"Alright," Grayson remarks. "If that's what you kids want."

Martyn clears his throat. "OBJ—"

"OBJECTION OVERRULED! OR DO YOU NOT EXIST?" shouts Judge Grayson. "PROSECUTOR CAMPANA, SIT DOWN. WHO WILL BE THE DEFENCE?"

"Definitely not me," Ann states, backing off. "Me? Defend Cangrejo?"

"Navio's gonna lose if they defend us," Ronald murmurs.

"Are you calling your brother a loser?" Martyn replies.

"Of course he is, motherf—"

"THE COURT FORBIDS THE DEFENDANT TO SWEAR IN MY CHRISTIAN COURT OF LAW!" Judge Grayson admonishes. "CANGREJO, WHO WILL DEFEND YOU?"

"Yes, your Honor," Martyn replies.

"Answer the question, Mr. Crawford!"

"Yes, your Honor."

"He means both of them," Alphonsus clarifies.

"Hmm, I see. Can both sides pick three representatives each? I want both of you to choose."

"KIM!" shouts Nicole. "IKAW NA!"

"Nani?" she replies.

A/N: There are way too many Asians in my school lol

"Debate club ka!"

"She's a debate club?" repeats a confused Ann.

"Oh my god... You and Kim can go!"

Kim sighs. "Who's our third, then?"

"Not me," says Nicole. "Don't pick me."

"Hmm, I'll go with Nicole," Ann responds. "Good with that, Kim?"

"The vote is two to one."

"It's fine, Nicole. They picked ya for a reason," says Teresa. "At least it ain't me."

"Guys," says Ann. "C!"

I bet you forgot that I, Sandee Li, was still present in the room and I'm the one whose perspective you're viewing. Because I wouldn't bother reminding anyone, myself included, of my rivals' not-so-catchy cheer, I shall now focus my attention on the #0000EE coloured team.

Andrew, Linsey, and Shawn put their hands in the middle. "N-A! TO THE V-I-O—"

On second thought...

"...C! I-F-I! J---O! CRU-CI-FI-JO!"

Ah, yes. The joy of having your parents switch the channel and back while you're on your telly.

"Is the defence ready?"

"Yes, your Honor!" all 6 answer.

"Is the prosecution ready?"

"Yes, yes, yes— oh my god," Campana answers.

"Your opening statement, please."

"First of all," says Rainard. "Cangrejo's cheer is 'Cangrejo destruiros a todos', correct?"

"Actually," rebutted Kim. "I have an updated autopsy report."

"w-w-wHAT????!!??!?!??!?!?!??!!!!!!!"

"Yes, it was made as a grammatical edit," says Kim. "Why?"

"So what is it now?"

"Andale Cangrejo... something, I can't be bothered to remember a cheer that's equally shi—"

"But that is proof that Cangrejo has forgotten their Duolingo lessons, Spanish or Vanish!" Ann interrupted. "And do you think any other house has committed such a mistake?"

"Of course," Ann replies. "Seeing as you're so adept at Spanish, does 'sul' mean anything to you?"

"Umm..."

"OBJECTION!" shouts Angelika. "What you hear as 'sul' is actually a contraction of the Spanish word, 'asul', meaning blue!"

"NANI??!"

"ORDER! ORDER! ORDER!"

An Aisac coming in late enters the room.

"...ODOUR IN THE COURT!"

"Anyway, are you satisfied? Even two houses together can't beat Campana!" laughs Calvin.

"OBJECTION!" shouts Linsey. "I wish to call a witness to the stand."

"Who is your witness?"

"May I call Vick Spears to the witness stand!"

Vick stands behind the desk.

"Vick, your name, please," says Ysobel.

"Because I'm fed up with this stuff, I plead guilty."

"YOUR NAME, VICK!"

"MY NAME IS DOROTHY VICK SPEARS AND I'M TIRED OF YOUR CRAP SO PLEASE LET ME LEAVE THE STAND."

She leaves za sutando.

"For calling in a witness who refuses to testify, I will have to penalise you!"

"HAH! SO, DO YOU HAVE ANY FURTHER OBJECTIONS, OR WILL CRUCIVIO SHATAP AND ACCEPT DEFEAT?" Ysobel proclaims, asserting her dominance.

"SORE WA CHIGAU YO!"

"NANI??!"

"You can't hold a proper trial without evidence!" shouts Nicole.

"Despite not knowing about the trial beforehand, the defence has managed to prepare evidence?" gasps Judge Grayson.

"Of course I did, people from 9-B spoiled it to us," says Ann. "As you can see, this is a picture of Martyn with his family. This proves that the Duolingo bird did not arrive yet."

"Says the one who also didn't want to defend Cangrejo. Admit it, Ann, you're doing it for Franc!" shouts Sandee.

"ORDER! ORDER IN THE COURT!" shouts Judge Grayson. "OBJECTION SUSTAINED! MS. LAWSON, YOU SHALL BE PENALISED FOR YOUR ACTIONS!"

"Sir, is the evidence still legal, sir?" asks Andrew.

"Yes, it is—"

"SHATAP, ALL OF YOU! I HAVE AN OBJECTION!" shouts Ysobel. "This evidence is irrelevant! Is Martyn, one man, a representation of the entirety of Cangrejo?"

"Hmm, you're right," comments Judge Grayson.

"What do we do?" asks Linsey, addressing the rest of the defence.

"Checkmate! You lost as soon as Vick pleaded guilty!" shouts Ysobel.

"However!" responds Ann. "Prosecutor White, do understand—"

"Shatap, defence. Just shatap already."

Judge Grayson slams his sledgehammer. "This court finds the defendant... Guilty!"

C-A! C-A-M! C-A-M-P-A-N-A! CAMPANA! HEY! HEY! CAMPANA! HEY! HEY!