The Swirls by @divinn006

Occasions where there were grammar issues but I tried to mark these up for you.

Vivid prose. I think more description could have made it more enhanced.

The style of writing fits the genre really well.

You had too many commas (tried fixing these in the comments). This often led to comma splices which are easily fixed with a semi colon or full stop.

I don't why but I got the impression of Game of Thrones from this book. :)

All very exciting and intriguing. Wyld seems like a character you could develop nicely later.

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