Bad Atttractions by @N2Nobela

Tense jumps are a huge issue! Keep everything in one tense. I would recommend you go through everything carefully and make sure you stick to one.

Comma splices - fix these with a semi colon or full stop.

Numbers spelled out in full look more formal.

I liked the characterisation of the judge and her groaning. You really felt her desperation.

I'll tag you in a critique where I explained to someone how to format dialogue right.

Keep your basic grammar up to date (some i's not capitalised etc).

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