Sweet Vengeance by @PrincessBlu06

This had quite a cliché opening for my liking. It wasn't too much of a big deal but I would keep it in mind. Having a more original opening will engage the reader more and also help them remember the story for longer.

I know you were worried about the pov change but I think it worked fine.

You need some indication that there's a pov change like asterisks or something to at least mark it.

The whole of the first scene was cliché. Again, bear this in mind for later edits.

This didn't detract from the prose though. Your descriptions were imaginative and enticing.

There were very occasional comma splits.

Dialogue was not correctly formatted. You had a capital letter after the comma and the dialogue tag when it should have been a lower case.

Similarly to the pov changes, put a few asterisks before the flashback.

When a whole section is in italics, you don't need to have the thoughts in italics. It works vice versa.

Commas before names.

Overall, a lovely read. Only two chapters but I thoroughly enjoyed it.

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