#88 Perfect 10

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Perfect 10 by Jumping_Jiminys

Media res is a great way to start and it was really effective.

Numbers spelled out completely look more formal.

You had a lot of comma splices. Try and fix these with a semi colon or a full stop, depending on the sentences.

About the angels suddenly appearing, I know you said you would clarify that it was a statue. This is just a reminder!

Slight confusion with commas to split clauses. I tried to comment on all of them but I'm not sure if I got every single one.

Great action. It's all packed with tension.

Its/it's issue.

I think we need more explanation about who people are. I know we're jumping straight into the action but I think there should be times where the reader can breathe and find out a little more about the world. I mean, it was the 3rd chapter in and we didn't even know the main character's name until the end!!

Likewise, the reader needs to understand more about the motive behind these attacks and all this action. All of the fight scenes are great but there's no purpose. I guess we'll find out later but you need to include at least a little to keep the reader interested.

Overall, a great story that included lots of action and tense scenes. Beautifully written. Well done!

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