Okay, so I'm already kinda bitter today because Jake is leaving for England this week so I won't see him for a month and a half. Then all of THIS crap has to go down.

So, I'm already not in the best mood and we came to my grandparents Tuesday. My grandparents aren't very good for my self esteem so I've been kinda freaked out about coming. Yesterday was a good day though! So I thought everything would be fine.

Of course, all hell broke loose.

We went to the zoo and had fun there, we leave and go to get dinner. Somethings happens and my grandmother's red wine spills all over her. She goes, and I quote, "Jesus Christ, Motherf**ker, damnit." And I almost start screaming in her face RIGHT THERE AND THEN.
Swear around me? Okay, I'm 14, that'll happen.
Swear around my ten year old brother? I raise an eyebrow but don't say anything.
Swear around my SIX YEAR OLD SISTER? I WILL SEND YOU TO A HELL IN A DIFFERENT DIMENSION! SHE IS SIX, SHE'S STILL INNOCNET, GIVE HER SOME TIME BEFORE EXPOSING HER TO THE HELL THAT IS REAL LIFE! AND YOU'RE A FRICKIN FAMILY MEMBER TOO! WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL!

so, I'm trying not to cry because I don't know if I should tell my parents or not (I'm going to) and my grandmother questions me about it. I just say I'm tired.

We go to the car and I'm playing my music. The song Ours by Taylor Swift comes on and I sing. I sing because it helps me cope and I really miss Jake. My grandmother says she has a question for me when the sings done. When it ends, I pause my music. So, my grandmother asks the question.
"All these songs are about young girls who make bad choices in their love lives. So, why do you think they're popular?"
I'm basically speechless and trying not to burst out sobbing. I just reply with "They're catchy."
You've taken away my coping mechanism. . .

The song Bluebonnets  (Julia's Song) by Aaron Watson comes on and I turn it up. I turn it up and sing along. I've pulled my sunglasses down to cover my eyes so they don't see the tears. They probably hear it in my voice. As soon as we get to my grandparents house I go hide in my room. And I start writing this.

I'm writing, playing Mean at the top of my speakers, and wishing Jake wasn't 5,000 miles away.

~Grace