I settle back with Fluffy, unlatching the saddlebag from her saddle thrown over the log. Fluffy pushes her snout into my hand, her whiskers tickling the inside of my wrist. Her large body stands between me and the trees, guarding me from a threat I'm not entirely sure is there.

"You're not so bad," I whisper, stroking my hand down her long face.

"Calling a truce?"

I glance over my shoulder to meet Killian's gaze. "I'm trying to bribe her to throw you off tomorrow."

"She'd never do it." He places a hand on her neck, angling his head down to stare at me. "We have a bond, Fluffy and I. Besides, you do realise that if I come off, so do you." He takes a step closer, causing my heart to leap. "I'd much rather ride like we did today, wouldn't you? It was rather comfortable. And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who enjoyed it."

I narrow my eyes, noting the spark in his. "Go to hell."

"Lei did say you wanted me to rot in there."

I glance at her over his shoulder, scowling at something Merid said. "Traitor."

He grins down at me, gaze drifting to the saddlebag. "You should get some rest."

I glance over Fluffy's back, out into the trees, nibbling on the inside of my cheek. "Do you see those shadows?" I ask. "In between the trees?"

Killian follows my gaze, taking a small step forward as he scans the tree line. His brows pull together, and he shakes his head. The admission should reassure me. "No, why?"

"I just thought I saw something, that's all." I hesitate. "Aelin mentioned Ereon's guards were in the area."

"Of course she did," he says, unsurprised at her lack of tact.

"And you're not concerned by that at all?"

"You don't need to worry, Freya. They won't get you, not here, in such a big group of us."

I bite the edge of my lip. It isn't myself I'm worried about.

"And I mean it," he says. "Rest. We have a long ride ahead of us tomorrow."

"So people keep saying." I pick up the saddlebag and hoist it over my shoulder, planning to use it as a pillow again. "Get some sleep, Cloud Piercer. Watch your step, Cloud Piercer. Can I do anything for you, Cloud Piercer?" I scoff.

I don't bother hiding the bitter tone of my words as I shift from foot to foot, waving my hand in the air. It's freezing tonight, so I start back towards the fire, scowling at every single person who called me Cloud Piercer instead of Freya tonight, which was nearly everybody Merid introduced me to.

Killian follows after me, settling on the edge of one of the logs as I drape my legs across the ground, close enough that I can feel the heat of the flames.

The festivities have mostly died down. I eye Lei from across the fire pit. She's closer to Merid now, that scowl on her face replaced with a warm smile as she listens to something he says.

"Are you really complaining about being doted on?"

"I don't even think one of them has used my name yet," I say. "They treat me like I'm royalty."

"You're a royal pain in my ass, that's for sure," Killian murmurs.

I shoot him daggers with my eyes, but he just grins in response, eyes sweeping down my frame and settling on the dagger still clutched in my hand. "You going to sleep with that?"

"Scared it'll end up at your throat?"

"Don't tempt me with a good time."

I scowl as he sinks down beside me, much closer than necessary. I watch him from the corner of my eye, following his gaze across the firepit to where the girl I was speaking to earlier, Aelin, rests against one of the fallen logs. She combs her fingers through her long, red hair, loosening the braid.

"When was the last time you saw everybody here?" I ask.

He drags his gaze away from Aelin and back to me. "The night you saw me in the forge. I was checking in with them, that's where Lei and I were going when you caught us."

"That night you almost killed me, you mean?"

"Key word, almost."

It seems like such a long time ago. So much has changed since I spent my evenings in the forge, desperately searching for the deserters. I've changed. I hadn't known it was Killian at the time, not until he confessed when we were in the Palace, claiming he was on a mission sent by Trina. The brief reminder of his lie stings, but I shove the feeling aside. He didn't have to tell me that was him, at all. So why did he?

"Because I told you about my brother, that he was the one taken during the Red Moon." He turns his head to meet my gaze, expression blank. "That's why you didn't kill me. Because you realised who I was, what I was."

"No," he says. "I thought you were at best a stupid visitor, at worst someone Ereon sent. Killing you would've been easy." He shakes his head. "But I decided not to kill you before I knew who you were."

"Bullshit--"

"Facts don't lie, Freya. I was walking away from you before you called out to me and told me about your brother."

I bite my tongue and look away, unable to argue. As much as it irks me, he's right. His dagger was away from my skin and he was walking away when I'd shouted out who my brother was in the last attempt at getting him to take me.

I look back around the clearing. "So they've all known about me since that night?"

He nods. "It was a night of celebration for all of us. We'd found what we were looking for by complete accident."

"I don't understand why you didn't just kidnap me from the start," I say.

"Sanaa wanted to, but not everybody agreed. I already had an in with the deserters. They had a lot of valuable information, and their plans to break into the Palace could be useful to us. Really, we're on the same side."

I snort. "I'm not so sure the deserters would agree with you there."

"You're probably right about that," he says, smiling down at me.

"Is that what you wanted? To get into the Palace and delay my capture?"

He nods. "I never wanted to kidnap you, Freya."

But you did.

I turn to look back at the fire, the warmth of it starting to singe my skin. He did kidnap me in the end, going against Sanaa's decision merely delayed it. It gave him time. Time to gain my trust, learn the workings of my brain, know my darkest fears. Time to weasel himself into my chest with a fake identity.

I don't want to know you.

It takes everything inside of me to hold the questions in. To demand answers and unpeel the layers of his deception. Were the stories of his childhood real, were the words really his when looked me dead in the eye and told me I was courageous, brave, beautiful? I shut the queries away, thinking of what Lei said earlier. If she doesn't realise how completely enamored I became by Killian, maybe he doesn't, either. Letting Killian know how deeply he's wounded me is more humiliating than the initial wound itself.

"Freya?" Shadows dance across his face as he stares at me through hooded eyes, all playfulness gone. "You're not the Cloud Piercer," he says, voice low. "Not to me. I need you to know that."

My stomach dips at the intensity in his gaze, so heated it rivals the flames at my feet. "Then who am I?"

"You're Freya. Just Freya."

Just Freya.

His words scratch at the fragile walls around my heart. And the heat in his gaze, the warmth of his hand, his eyes, his words--I want to believe him. To believe that in his eyes, I'm more than a weapon to use against their enemies, more than the Cloud Piercer.

"Tell me you know that." His voice is softer than I've ever heard it.

But where I am, how I got here, it's all evidence of the opposite.

"If that were true, if I was just Freya to you, you never would've taken me against my will." I turn over so I'm facing away from him, mustering all the ice inside of me into my voice. "Goodnight, Killian."

He doesn't say anything. I almost wish he would.

I shove him from my mind the best I can, focusing on the tree line, behind where Fluffy rests against the trunk of the tree.

Killian's vision at night is superior to mine; he said not to worry. And yet, a sinister feeling crawls over my skin as I keep my eyes glued to the branches moving from the force of the wind. A feeling that, despite the exhaustion tugging at my body, keeps me wide awake.

The feeling of being watched.

***

The moon grins from above as I flash my eyes open in the dead of night, the stars dulling in comparison. But it's not the moon's gaze that sends a shudder crawling down the back of my spine.

In my training with Casimir, we spent many lessons focused on our senses--fine-tuning our smell, taste, vision, hearing, and touch. But I've always believed humans have an innate sixth sense.

There's somebody watching me. And it's not the moon.

I slowly sit up. The fire has crackled to mere embers, and the only sound throughout the makeshift camp is that of someone snoring loudly across the other side of the firepit. The spot Killian sat earlier is vacant, and I can't see him anywhere else around the pit. The realisation sets me further on edge. I'm not worried about Killian, but there's a comfort in his presence that makes me feel safe.

I shift, tugging my knees to my chest as I narrow my eyes around the clearing. In the trees, figures move, strolling the perimeter of the area on guard for any intruders. Nobody around me is awake. Nobody to talk to. Nobody to look at.

But I feel the gaze like it's a touch.

The area I lay is flattened by my body as I push to my feet, turning around to survey the area once more. Across the firepit, Lei lies hunched over one of the logs, her head resting against a sleeping Merid's shoulder. Behind me, the horses stand with their heads hanging, completely still. I try to shake off the unsettling feeling, but it won't leave me alone as I silently walk towards the horses, seeking the security of something larger than me, even in their slumber.

A gentle breeze wafts through the clearing, bitterly cold as I snuggle further into my cape. Without the fire, there's no warmth or light. Only the silver rays of the moon as it cascades down into the clearing. I take a step backward, stumbling over an overturned root.

I right myself before I faceplant, but not before cold hands grip the sides of my arm and spin my body around. Before I can let out a scream, a hand slaps over my mouth, muffling the sound.

My heart hammers in my ears as I stand completely still, my hand at my side feeling for the dagger. But I left it tucked beneath the saddlebag by the firepit. Their grip is tight across my chest, but no weapon presses into my skin.

"Shhh," a voice murmurs, lips pressing into my ear, low and deep. "You're okay."

They spin my body slowly in their grasp, keeping one hand firmly planted across my mouth so they can't see the way it drops as I meet their eyes.

"Elex?"