In all my scheming, I'd forgotten how cautious Casimir was when it came to risk mitigation.

The afternoon sun beats down on us as we sit side by side in the forest, the stubborn set of his jaw unmoving as we stare one another down. We've been out here for over an hour, ever since Casimir finished up at the 'confidential' meeting during breakfast I wasn't allowed to attend.

He found me straight away, in one of the side tunnels studying the map I snatched from Killian's bag, and dragged me outside to talk. It's definitely more of an argument.

"We should leave tonight," I bargain.

"Too early." He shakes his head. "Not enough time to plan."

"Then what would you suggest?"

"Next week at the earliest."

"Next week?" I shake my head. "Cas, the longer we leave this the harder its going to be. He'll never be as unguarded as he is now. It'll only be a matter of days before word gets to Sanaa that I've escaped. They know I'll go back for Samu."

"What's to say she doesn't already know?"

He makes a valid point. It took me, Lei, and Killian a day and a half to reach the spot where Elex found me, but we stopped to rest twice, and the first 12 hours was slow due to the fact that Killian accounted for me following them on foot. It's been about 12 hours since I escaped. I don't know what they would've done when they realised I was gone. Whether or not they continued with the plan and went to see Myers, or went back to camp to report my escape to Sanaa.

I've tried not to think too much about it. I've tried not to think about Killian for too long, because my head is a crazed mess. Picturing that look on his face before he let me go, thinking about what he did, trying to understand why--they're thoughts that lead me down a path I'm not sure I want to entertain.

"I still think we should leave tonight."

"You need to slow down, Frey," he says. "I barely just got you back and you already want to run off and risk your life again?"

"I'm not risking my life, Cas. They're not going to hurt me."

"Right," he says. "They'll just lock you away again and forbid you from leaving. Like that's any better."

He has a point, but I ignore him. "What did Trina say this morning? When you told her the plan?" He shifts, something flickering across his face. I frown. "You didn't tell her the plan?"

"Elex and I were talking last night--"

I nudge his side. "I'm aware, your whispers kept me awake for hours." He nudges me in the ribs, hard. "Okay, okay, sorry. What were you talking about?"

"We don't think we should tell Trina what we're doing."

I pause, sitting up straight to stare at him. "If I wanted to get Samu out of there on my own, I wouldn't have left him there in the first place."

"You won't be alone. You'll have me and Elex."

"But compared to a deserter army?" I say. "Cas, we need the deserters help. I don't know that we'll be able to break into their camp without it."

"Look," he says, "Trina doesn't believe anything that you've said. She doesn't believe that the Torinnian shifters are any different to Ereon. She doesn't believe that the cloud is something worth worrying about. And she certainly doesn't believe there's any benefit in trying to get Samu."

"And what do you believe?"

He sighs. "It's complicated."

"No, tell me. Do you think I'm lying, too?"

"No," he says. "I think you're right about the cloud. The rest of it... I don't know. But what I do know is that if Trina gets the location of their camp, her intrusion will have nothing to do with getting Samu back." He meets my gaze. "Ensuring you and Samu are safe is my main priority. I don't care what happens to those shifters. To Killian. Especially Killian. But it's a waste of our resources and time to attack them when Ereon's the real enemy."

He's right, I know that, but the knowledge of it makes my stomach lurch. The thought of leading the deserters there and being the fault of an attack makes me nauseous. While I still don't entirely know where I stand with the Torinnian shifters, I've seen enough to believe that they don't deserve to be attacked any more than the people of Veymaw.

I let out a breath of air, the tension leaving my body as I rest against the wall. Casimir runs a hand through his dirtied hair. Soot from his hands shifts to his forehead.

"So we hide it from her?" I nibble on the edge of my lip. "And when she finds out the truth? What will she do?"

His jaw tenses. "Don't worry about that."

"Of course I worry." I reach over to put my hand on his. "You can say what you like about her, but she's your mother. The deserters... they're your home."

"You're my family. Samu is my family." The intensity in his gaze knocks me back. "And family comes first. Always."

I squeeze his hand. "I know what it's like to be ostrasized by your own, I don't want that to happen to you."

He shakes his head. "You don't need to worry. You're not the only one in this camp who questions Trina's leadership. If she tried to kick me out, exile me, and she would, not everybody would be on board."

"You mean Elex?"

"More than Elex," he says. "You were right what you said back there. Trina is a good leader, but I'm not the only one starting to see the cracks. She lets her hatred get in the way of her logic, sometimes. We all hate the shifters but we don't let that drive our decisions. Sometimes she forgets that."

I lie back, pine needles tickling my neck as I free my legs, exposing them to the sun. Lei's smile fills my mind, Killian's eyes. The way they look at each other, care for each other, like a family.

We all hate the shifters.

"Tomorrow night," he says eventually. "We'll leave then. We'll get Samu and get the hell out of there."

"And then what?" I ask. "Trina was right. I can't go back to Veymaw."

He nods in agreement. "And then we figure it out. Together. Everything will be okay, we just have to stay together."

Together. He's right. I don't need to go back to Veymaw, not when Casimir has always been home.

***

The deserters are no more welcoming now than they were a month ago. Aside from a polite smile in the tunnels of the cave when I pass someone, they mostly ignore me. Jax, however, makes it his mission to scowl at me from across the cavern.

I scowl back.

Shadows crawl up the walls of the cave as the deserters round the fire for their dinner, filling up their bowls from the large pot sitting atop. I sit and observe quietly, keeping mostly to myself in the corner. The jagged earth stabs my legs where they stretch out, but I don't let it bother me as I observe the deserters.

Casimir has been gone since lunch. According to Trina, he went to scope out the campsite where they found me, tracking their movements if they've already left. It was a good enough excuse for him to leave camp for a couple of hours. I know the truth--he's finding transport.

We discussed our plans for most of the morning before he left. So much of their success weighs on the slim chance that Killian and Lei went to see Myers instead of straight back to camp. Because if we somehow manage to make it back before them, our chances of getting Samu out undetected are much more probable. Moving on foot won't be fast enough. And Veymaw has plenty of horses.

I gaze across the crowd. Despite the location, the air is uncharacteristically joyful, rowdy laughter tunneling through the narrow passageways like an echochamber. From what I've gathered, they evacuated their home in those underground tunnels the second they caught wind of Killian's true identity.

And no matter what I think of Trina, as I gaze around at their makeshift beds and limited utensils, I empathise with her. They uprooted their lives because of Killian, even if I know he poses no threat to them, they've had to restart.

"Here." Elex appears at my side, holding a bowl towards me. "You should eat."

"Thanks." It thaws my frozen fingers, warmth spreading throughout my body. Elex winces as he settles beside me, leaning against the cave wall. I watch him from the corner of my eye.

"Are you hurt?"

"Nah, just old."

I raise a brow. "You don't look that much older than me."

"I'm twenty-five."

"And that's old?" I laugh.

He huffs. "Trust me, Freya, when you get to my age you'll start wincing of sore muscles too."

I can't help but laugh, bringing the spoon to my mouth. The soup is bland, lukewarm. "I'll hold you to that."

"I can't wait to be proven right."

My smile falls as I meet Trina's gaze from across the cave. She sits atop a boulder, above the rest. And like me, she observes, doesn't participate. But her eyes pierce the vast space between us with the fury of a raging fire. A chill crawls down my spine. I avert my gaze, unable to hold hers.

"She hates me," I whisper.

Elex glances up at Trina before looking back down at my soup. "Yeah."

"You're not even going to deny it?"

"You're the reason Cas kept her at arms length."

I frown in confusion. "Me?"

"To protect you, remember? He lied to his mother about you for an entire year. If she wasn't his mother, he'd probably have been put to trial for that lie."

Chewing the inside of my cheek, I turn to look at him, realisation settling in my stomach. I knew he lied to the deserters about my existence. He had no more of an idea than I did that the shifters would want me, he didn't even know if the deserters would care who I was. And yet he lied, risked everyone, just in case. My heart swells with emotion. I wrap my arms tighter around my body.

"Yeah, well, she's the one who deserted him as a child. Just because she's his mother, doesn't mean she's a good one. "

He doesn't say anything for a few moments, swirling his spoon around his bowl. "Did Cas say that?"

"It doesn't take a genius to figure out," I say. "Do you disagree?"

He hesitates. "Life as a deserter isn't for the faint hearted. We all made sacrifices for the cause. Trina made hers."

"And Casimir suffered the consequences. That sounds fair," I say dryly.

His jaw clenches. "I never said it was fair."

"But you don't think Trina's to blame."

He shifts uncomfortably, eyes darting to the two men sitting a few metres away. Their laughs overpower our whispers, but I don't disregard Elex's paranoia.

"There are politics to being a deserter that you will never understand," he says eventually. He lowers his head, his voice rough. "I never said I agree with them."

Despite his hard expression, those warm brown eyes seek out mine as he looks up. Right from the day I met him, feeling outcast and out of place in the deserter hideout, there was a kindness to those eyes that eased my anxiety.

Trina's right. The deserters are different from me, I know that now. I always thought it was because of the environment they grew up in, the hiding, the seething hatred, the scheming--it harshened their exteriors. Cas grew up in Veymaw, he came out different.

But as Elex and I stare at one another, I wonder if I'm wrong again. We may have grown up in different worlds, but the warmth in his gaze and kindness in his eyes wraps me in a blanket of protection I feel I need in the lack of Casimir's presence.

Even after our expenditure on the palace, I don't know him that well. But anybody close to Cas is a friend of mine.

And as we go back to our food and I think of what's to come, I can't help but feel a heavy heart that when we leave, we're leaving more than just Trina and the deserters behind.