Reality strikes me with a jolt.

My breath comes in short, sharp gasps as I open my eyes. Lei and Killian blink into vision, hovering over me as the rest of my surroundings harden.

Killian's mouth moves, but his voice is slightly delayed. "Can you hear me?"

I can still taste tangy apples. The scent of cinnamon wafts through the air.

Killian's fingers brush my chin, tilting it upwards. "Freya?"

I nod, my head chafing against the solid surface. As the cave and my memory blurs into vision, I jolt into a sitting position. The sharp movement makes my head spin. Josul kneels a few feet away, his eyes on me. Behind him, Sanaa stands with her chin lifted, expression curious.

"What... what did you do to me?" I ask, breathless as I gaze around.

Lei kneels by my side. Killian, with a hand still on the small of my back, eyes me cautiously, as if I'm about to light on fire just as Josul did mere moments ago. I shift forward so his hand drops away.

"There's something blocking your mind," Josul says. "Something I can't delve past. What you saw... does it mean something to you? Your father, your brother and...someone else."

"Casimir," I whisper.

It had felt so real. But as I dart my eyes around the cave, the permanence of the setting sets in. My father, Casimir, Samu, the warmth of the cabin--it was all but a memory. I grasp at it, trying to hold the warmth of it close, but it slips through my fingers like sand.

"It was two nights before last years Red Moon," I say. "Before they took Samu and... and killed my father."

The pie, teasing Casimir about Samu's obsessions with him, the glimmer in my father's eye as he served us. The memory is a sacred one. I've held it close to my heart all this time, one of the last times we were together and happy. But when I think of that night, I never remember a knock on the door. I don't remember going into the forest. I don't remember... the workshop.

"Was that real?" I ask Josul. "All of it? You didn't put something in my head?"

He shakes his head. "I can't put things in your head, Freya."

"What did you see?" Sanaa asks.

"What happened that night?" Josul asks me. "I couldn't see past that house."

"That's the thing. I don't remember the knock on the door. I don't remember my father taking me into the forest."

"Did you recognise the house?"

I nod, turning to look at Killian. He kneels at my side, meeting my gaze. "He took me to Myers' workshop."

Killian's eyes narrow. Even through that guarded mask, I see his mind ticking over as he connects the dots, pathways I'm not privy to.

"Who is Myers?" Sanaa asks.

I take a deep breath before pushing to my feet, brushing off the black sand sticking to my body. "He's... he's just a crazy old man."

"There must be something more."

"There's not," I say. "Killian will tell you himself, he's met him."

They all turn to Killian for answers. He furrows his brows, looking at me and then to Sanaa. "She's right, he isn't all there. But..."

Lei nudges him when he trails off. "But?"

Killian looks at me. "But he knew about the deserters. He knew Casimir was one, and that he suspected I was too."

"Myers is a deserter?"

"Was. He retired years ago, stopped attending check-ins. I asked Trina about him, but she wasn't concerned, said he'd lost his mind and wasn't a threat."

The reminder of his lie is like a bucket of cold water. What state will the deserters be in now, knowing he betrayed them? Does Killian feel any guilt at all? It's hard to believe he didn't form any sort of friendships in his time posing as a deserter. I have to halt my thoughts from wondering if he feels guilt for fooling me, either. The potential answer feels to painful.

"That piece of metal Myers gave me," I murmur, looking up at Killian. "The one Elora had, the one you told me to keep with me on the night of the Red Moon--"

Killian's brows furrow. "Myers gave you that?"

I nod. "What was it?"

"It was a fragment of azamite."

"Aza-what?"

"That shard of metal you left at my cabin during the storm."

"Azamite," I murmur. "What does that mean?"

"It's nothing special," Josul says. "Incredibly common in Torinne, we used it for a lot of our construction. But you cannot find that stone here in Elel."

"I assumed you'd gotten it from your father," Killian says. "That he must've had it lying around from Nala. She was from Torinne, after all."

"So that's why the shifters took me," I say, "because they saw that I had a stone from Torinne?"

"They took you because they suspected you were the Cloud Piercer. The piece of azamite just insured you got their attention."

"So that's why Elora thought I knew something, because I had something from Torinne." He nods. "Does the azamite have anything to do with the hyacerite?"

"The what?" Sanaa asks.

"The hyacerite," I repeat. "Elora insisted that I tell her what I knew about it."

"I haven't heard of that before," Sanaa says.

"Nor have I," Josul murmurs. "But if Ereon believes it significant, we shouldn't dismiss it."

"So what do we do?"

"You have a block on your mind, Freya," Josul says. "One that I can't seem to break through. But our memories are like stories. They lead us to places we wouldn't find on our own."

"Yours lead you to Myers," Killian says. "A former deserter who your father led you to two nights before he was killed. Something you don't seem to remember. Not to mention he had a fragment of a stone only found in Torinne."

A chill travels down my spine as I remember my last encounter with Myers. He'd barely been able to hold a coherent thought.

"Myers." Sanaa tries the name aloud, as if it tastes interesting.

"What're you thinking?" I ask, watching as her mind ticks over. "Are you forgetting the fact that he's crazy?"

She just smiles. "I'd say it's time we paid him a visit."

***

It doesn't come as a surprise that when Sanaa said 'we', she didn't mean me. I'm not foolish enough to believe that they'd release me from their grasps so soon. Though I roam around the camp freely, I'm under no impression that I'm anything more than a prisoner.

Killian and Lei disappear with Sanaa to discuss their trip to see Myers. I don't bother trying to negotiate going with them when I already know the answer. My time is better spent planning how I can join them without alerting them of my presence before its too late to turn back.

I can't take Samu until the healer has finished administering the medicine for his lung infection, and the last thing I want to do is sit around camp and wait for Killian and Lei to return. If whatever is wrong with Samu has something to do with the cloud or Myers, I'm not willing to miss it. Besides, following them on their trip to see them is my only chance at figuring out where in Elel we are, and how to get back to Veymaw. A journey I'll eventually need to make on my own.

But Josul won't leave me alone. We sit side by side on a log, staring out at the waves as they crash upon the shore, awkwardly nibbling at the lunch Draigh brought down for us both.

Beyond the break the ocean glistens beneath the sun, stretching further than the eye can see. It's difficult to imagine that somewhere in the distance across the Venticer sea, Torinne lies, ravaged by a destructuve cloud.

"How long will they be gone?" I ask.

Josul shrugs, raising a hand to block the sun. "Hard to know. Our scouts have notified us of more of Ereon's guards patrolling through the villages, so they'll have to be even more discreet. A couple of days, at the very least."

A chill crawls down my spine as I imagine Ereon combing through the streets of Veymaw, knocking on the doors of my friends.

"Do you enjoy the seaside?" Josul asks.

"This is my first time seeing the ocean." Though we sit well above the shoreline, the ocean spray manages to reach us. "It's so much bigger than I expected."

Josul chuckles. In my peripheral vision, his hands quiver as he raises a bread roll to his mouth. "Elel is a beautiful country," he says. "But there is so much beyond it to explore."

"Have you travelled?"

"I've been to Ayrith a few times before the war. My family used to travel to Llyn occasionally when I was a boy, too."

I furrow my brows. Nobody in Elel really travels to other countries, aside from the traders, but even then it was never for leisure. "Is it normal for Torinnians to travel?"

"It was, before the cloud," he says. "Relations between Torinne, Llyn and Ayrith have always been open. Before the war, Elel and Torinne were civil, but not open for travellers. Ereon has always been closed off to any form of alliance. And after the war, you can imagine nobody really had any desire to travel to Elel, anyway. Not that many had the luxury. The cloud was already ravishing our country."

I nibble on the inside of my cheek, thinking about what it would have been like for the cloud to slowly take over Torinne. Their homes, their families, their land. Home doesn't have to be a place, I've always believed that to be true. But there's always a connection to your land, positive or negative, it's always there. And it's all because of King Ereon.

"If you find the source of the cloud," I say, keeping my gaze trained on the black sand. "What does Sanaa want to do with it?"

"She wants to destroy it."

I press my lips together, trying to read his expression. "It must be strange being in Elel. There has to be some part of you that resents being here."

"Freya, you don't need to worry about your country. I have no ill intent toward Elel." His eyes narrow in thought. "But you're right. There are some Torinnians back in Ayrith who want to find the source of the cloud, not to destroy, but to harness its power as Ereon once did."

Waves slam against the shore, a hammer to his words. "To get revenge on Elel."

He nods. "They're a small minority. But when Sanaa shot down their plans, they strayed and went off on their own. I suspect they're in Elel, too, searching."

"That's not fair. Most of the people in Elel didn't even know what was going on. Maybe our homes haven't been destroyed and our families killed, but we've suffered under Ereon's hand, too."

"I know that now," he says. "You have to understand, Freya, that even before the war our only communication with Elel was for trading purposes, and even then, we didn't know much of what occurred in this Kingdom. Nobody expected growing up in Elel to be so grim."

"It's not all bad. I had a happy childhood," I say. "I had a loving father and brother and friends. Sure, the royals are bastards, but before a couple of years ago, they rarely bothered us except for a few intimidation techniques. Even if things weren't perfect, my life was happy."

"Humans always find the light, even in the darkest of places," he says.

I meet his gaze. "King Ereon believes humans are inferior. Weak."

"Ereon is power hungry. His blindspots don't allow him to recognise the strength in unity."

I remember what Killian told me happened to the Kinjri in Elel, that most of them were hunted to extinction. So much horror caused by Ereon and the shifters. It's a foreign thought that those of us in Elel weren't the only ones suffering under his rule. That, somewhere out there, there's a world where humans and shifters are viewed as equals. It's a difficult concept to wrap my head around. But this camp, despite being held here against my will, is a slither of proof. The shifters here don't sneer at me or turn their noses.

Killian pops into my mind--his teasing grin and charming eyes. He's shifter. But it doesn't matter that his morals don't align with the shifters in Elel. My feelings towards him have less to do with his species and more to do with his deception.

"My father was human," I say. "So how do you know that I have any sort of Kinjri ability?"

"We don't. We don't really know anything, for sure. But there's a reason your father and Nala went to great lengths to hide you from Ereon. There's a reason Ereon has spent the last few years scouring the country in search of you. It means something."

"If Ereon gets to the source of the cloud before you do..."

"He won't destroy it, that's for certain."

"So not only are you trying to find the source of the cloud, but you have to find it before these other Torinnians and the king." I raise my eyes to meet his gaze. "And what if the cloud can't be destroyed?"

"Then it will destroy us."