Before:

I'll show him! She lifted her paw but Blackpaw dodged her. Forestpaw quickly surrounded him by running around him. Blackpaw easily jumped over her and aimed a blow at her face. Forestpaw dodged and swiped Blackpaw's cheek. Blood gashed though Blackpaw's cheek. Forestpaw smiled victoriously. "There! That's what happens when you mess with a runt!" She walked off into the appentices den, her height only reaching Blackpaw's shoulder, her tail slid under Blackpaw's chin and tickled Blackpaw's nose.

After:

Blackpaw's lips curled in a sneer, but he soon wiped the smug look off his face when the brown tom glared at him. This was a distraction for Forestpaw, and she swiped an unsheathed paw at Blackpaw's cheek and made a wide gash, that started blood trickling down his face. Blackpaw staggered back in pain, and made an angry face. Forestpaw's eyes widened in shock. "Blackpaw!" Fernpaw saw a dark red she-cat pad up to Blackpaw from behind. "Never treat apprentices with disrespect. No matter how small they are." Blackpaw nodded sulkily. "Yes Emberclaw." Fernpaw remembered the name from the elders' den when she was a kit. She was hot-headed and had a short temper, but she always let kits play with her tail, and told them endless stories of her victories against over clans. "Sorry!" Forestpaw's apology made Fernpaw push away those thoughts as she heard Blackpaw mutter back "Whatever." Forestrose walked away, unaware of her small but long tail brushing under Blackpaw's chin. Emberclaw led him away.

Difference: 6mths.

What do you think?
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