You can do this too...I was homeless a few years back. Now it ain't no looking back. Every nigga in my circle make at least 100 racks.
-Joey Fatts

• If You Wanna Be The Boss, Gotta Pay the Cost •

Dyme
Long Beach, CA.
A Year Later...

I park in Matika and Marcel's circular driveway putting the car in park. I look at all of the luxurious cars parked in their driveway knowing it's about to be a party full of kids with rich parents who attend the same private school as our kids or the kids of people in the industry. Did I feel like coming? No, but this party was for Marcel and Matika's daughter, Riva, who's turning three years old today.

I open the butterfly door on the Lamborghini Aventador GT, grab my purse then get out. I push the seat up waiting for both Jodie and Stevie to get out of the car once they unbuckle themselves from their car seats. As they do that I grab my over sized jean jacket putting it on over my outfit. "Do you have the gifts?" I ask putting the seat back then closing the door. Jodie holds up her gift bag and Stevie holds up his box wrapped in gold wrapping paper. Once again I found myself going to a family event missing the man of my family. I was already ready to be asked a million times 'Where's Joey?' The answer is always the same...Either I don't know or he's working.

I was starting to feel like a single mother. I was even beginning to wonder why we even got married? I felt like a damn side chick he knocked up by accident and he can't be seen in public with me. This past year hasn't been easy for us relationship wise. I have thought about divorcing Joey many times, but I haven't went through with it. It felt like I was staying for the kids at this point because the love was dwindling. Is leaving someone because they work too much a good enough reason? There's women out there being cheated on by their man, getting babies had on them, and abused. What am I really complaining about?

But there's no reason I should feel alone in a marriage or as a parent. When Joey is around he's super distant. I don't even know what the problem is with him. Maybe we just need to go to counseling..

I walk into the house without knocking or ringing the doorbell. The house has decorations everywhere, but it's empty. I can hear music in the distance, so I follow it going out to the backyard where everyone is. The first thing I do is take Jodie and Stevie over to the table full of gifts, so they can put theirs on it. Once they do that, they immediately run off wanting to play with the other kids.

Time seems to be flying by now that I have kids. They just keep getting bigger and bigger at 4 and 3 years old. Soon they'll be grown and that's why I'm so upset Joey is always missing in action. He's missing his kids growing up.

When I spot Matika I walk over to her giving her a half hug because she's holding her year and a half old baby, Phoenix. He quickly got the nickname Poppy after the street Joey and Marcel grew up on. Poppy gave me major baby fever with his chubby cheeks and even chubbier legs. "Hi, chunka munka," I say pulling at his leg as he smiles.

"Girl, I'm so glad you're here. It is bougie city in this bitch. I just can't relate to these mom's. But I don't know...Seems to me you'll fit right in cause you look like the Mayor of bougie city," Matika says looking me up and down. "I know that's not a Birkin."

I look down at the bag pulling it closer to me saying, "It's fake." I was lying my ass off.

"Like you would be caught toting a fake bag. Those things cost someone's college tuition."

"It was an apology gift from Joey," I say shrugging as we walk over to the table of goodies like cupcakes, candy, cake pops, cookies, etc.

"You get one of those every week. He still fucking up? He had to have done something major to have to get you that," Matika says pointing at it.

"Forgot our anniversary," I say getting mad about it all over again. Joey missed our one year wedding anniversary and in return I got a bag and a car as if that would make up for it. Clearly it could because I forgave him. I had now turned into the woman who could be bought by expensive gifts.

"Damn, I would've flipped if Marcel did that. Shit, at least you got a bag out of it. Next time Marcel even breathes wrong I'ma start an argument to see if I can a bag a quarter of that price. You know Selly is cheap as hell."

We both laugh then I say, "Trust me, you don't want these problems. Be lucky you have the man you do. I rather have a cheap man who doesn't care about money than one who is money hungry."

"What's the point of money if you can't spend it? The man still uses coupons for crying out loud," Matika says making me chuckle.

"Hey, that's smart if you ask me. He knows this rap money isn't going to last forever. And not to mention, the man has four kids now. One he has to pay child support on."

"Not for long," Matika says making me furrow my eyebrows.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Maurice told his mom, Char, that he wants to come live with us."

"He did?! Wow," I say in shock as she nods her head.

"Exactly what I said. At first we thought maybe he got in trouble for something and he was mad at her, so he said it out of anger, but nope. He really does. I feel bad because that's her only child and he doesn't even want to live with her."

"I guess it's karma for keeping Maurice away from his Dad," I say sipping my drink shrugging.

"True, I guess. I would never want to take a child away from their mother, ya know? But what can you do when that's what he wants. You have to do what's in the best interest of the child and that's making him happy and giving him an environment that's beneficial. The first thing out of Char's mouth is that we brainwashed Maurice and put the idea in his head when that's not true at all."

"Maybe it's for the best he moves in with y'all."

"Maybe," Matika says sighing.

"Anyway, where's the birthday girl, Riva the diva? I'm just chatting away and haven't even talked to the most important person of the day."

Matika points saying, "Over there." Matika yells her name grabbing her attention making her look at us. When she sees me she runs over hugging me.

"Happy birthday, pretty girl! Look at you!" I say looking at her making her smile..

"Thank you," she says wrapping her arms around me again.

"I hope my new baby is as pretty as you," I say making her look at me in confusion.

"New baby?" She asks.

"Yeah, new baby?" Matika echoes looking just as confused. I open my jacket revealing my small belly making them both look in surprise.

"I'm gonna go tell Marina!" Riva says running off.

I laugh at how excited she is then Matika asks, "How far along are you?"

"Two months. I was trying to wait until I got to the second trimester, but I had to tell someone. You're the very first person I told. No one knows." Even through barely seeing Joey, I still managed to get pregnant somehow. A quickie baby is what I called him or her. I hope it's a girl for some reason.

"Except Joey, right?"

I shake my head, "Nope. He doesn't know yet either. I haven't had time to tell him, but that would require him to slow down and stop, so I could. I just found out two weeks ago."

"Well, congratulations. I'm sure he'll be happy. A baby is a blessing. We just keep popping these suckers out, huh?"

"You ain't lyin'. I'm getting my tubes tied after this one. This is the last one."

"We gotta make it even though. For and four. We'll see about that," she says snickering. "Let me go get this cake ready, so we can sing happy birthday. Can you hold him?" She asks referring to Phoenix. He's the quietest baby I have ever seen. I nod my head taking Poppy from her putting him on my hip as she walks away. I look around the party finding Stevie going up to him.

"Look at my little man looking fresh with the Gucci shirt and the Giuseppe sneakers!" I say brushing his shoulders off. He looks up at me like the mean man he is as if he already knows he's fly and doesn't need me to tell him..

"Nova said she liked my outfit. She said I'm cute," he says with a smirk like he's the shit. You would swear this boy is 13 not 3 the way he acts.

"Who's Nova?" I ask. When he's about to point I stop him saying, "Don't point."

"The girl in the red dress," he says as I see the girl.

"Ohh," I say realizing he's talking about some basketball players daughter. "Do you think she's cute too?"

"Yeah, she's pretty." I wasn't mad at it. At least he likes black girls because he's around white people so much at private school, I was sure he was going to be bringing a Hannah or Rebecca home in the future. Then again he's only three and has time to change his mind. Nothing wrong if he ends up liking white girls, but he will respect black women. He'll respect all women.

Marcel and Matika carry a cake out with candles on it beginning to sing happy birthday as everyone joins in. I smile as they sit the cake on the table and Riva looks around smiling. I think everyone gets a little awkward while people are singing happy birthday to them. "Make a wish, Riva!" Matika says. Riva blows out the candles as everyone claps and cheers. I couldn't lie, I was a little jealous of Matika and Marcel. They seemed to have it all including the kids and the careers on top of a great relationship. Some just know how to balance it all while others taller certain things take priority over the others. I wished Joey and I could get back to that.

Marcel

I watch as little kids run around playing in our backyard at Riva's birthday party. When I feel a tap on my arm I look behind me to see Maurice. "Anyone sitting here?" He asks pointing at the seat across from me at the patio table.

I shake my head saying, "No, son. What's up?"

He pulls the seat back sitting across from me. "I've been thinking...If you and Teek don't want me to come live with you guys, I'll stay with my Mom."

I furrow my eyebrows, "What would make you think we don't want you to come live with us?"

He shrugs saying, "I don't know because I haven't gotten an answer yet. And my mom said that I'll be imposing on your life with Teek and your other kids. What does impose mean?" It was just like Char to say some shit like that to him. These days since I've been out of jail, I just avoid her in the hopes of no confrontation. I just want to successfully co-parent with her with no issues.

"It means to like force something. Reese, you're not imposing by wanting to live with me. We want you here, but there's a lot that has to be thought about first. Me and your mom have to think about you moving schools, making new friends, the custody arrangement, child support and other adult matters. It's not as simple as saying okay then moving you in. I want you here, I do. Don't ever think I don't because I'm not with your mother and I have kids with Teek. You're all the same to me. I love all four of you equally. Don't tell your sisters this, but you have a special, special place in my heart because you're my first."

He lights up in a smile saying, "Well, thanks. You have a special place in my heart too as my first dad. Dom is second after you. And I don't care about changing schools and making new friends. I always make friends cause everybody likes me."

"Is that so?" I say admiring his confidence.

"Yeah. Apparently, I'm funny...and cute," he says shrugging. "I gotta couple haters cause I get all the girls, but it's nothing." He pops his collar and I die laughing.

"Boy, if you don't get yo ass on somewhere."

"What? It's the truth. When I move in can I redo my room? It's too kiddy."

"Too kiddy? You're 6," I say to remind him.

"Yeah, but that's a 5 year old room. I'm a year older. I want a Transformers room now."

"Fine, whatever you want."

"Thanks, Dad," he says standing up from his chair hugging me. "I love you," he says touching my head. I say it back then he kisses my cheek running off leaving me there just smiling. Those two years I was sitting in a cell, this is what I was eager to get back to. My family and the people I loved. I could care less about my rap career or money. It's the people that matter.

I look around the party realizing there's few men here for me to talk to. Not even Joey who I was expecting to be here, but he's not. I pull my phone out going to my messages then going to Joey's thread. I type up a message then send it to him.

I wonder what's been going on with him lately? He hasn't been around and even when he is, he's not his usual self or he leaves abruptly. I hope everything is good with him...

Joey

I sit in the doctors office waiting for her to come back and tell me what's going on with me. I had been putting off my health for so long, but I couldn't anymore because it was just that bad. The pain was too much to take anymore at this point. When my phone goes off from a text message, I grab it and look at it to see a text from Marcel.

Sell2️⃣♿️: Where you at?

Sell2⃣♿️: I'm outnumbered by all these moms

Me: I'll be there later

I hit send, locking my phone sitting it beside me. I had so much going on I was missing everything. All the birthday parties, family events and the list goes on. I had a lot on my shoulders with all my businesses. Maybe I bit off more than I can chew, but I have a family I have to support. This isn't about me and it never has been. I guess that's why my health is failing because I'm sacrificing my own wellbeing for others. It's to be point if I don't pop at least two pain pills in the morning there's no way I'm getting out of the house.

Finally the doctor comes back saying, "We have your results from your last visit." She pauses then says, "Looks like you have Peripheral Artery disease."

"What's that?" I ask furrowing my eyebrows.

"It's a circulatory condition in which narrowed blood vessels reduce blood flow to the limbs. It can cause pain and numbness to your legs." It made sense. I had slept in cars for long periods of times when I was homeless and that's when it really started, I just ignored it.

"So, how do I stop this?" I ask looking at her as she looks at a piece of paper.

"We're gonna start off with just making lifestyle changes. That means exercising, eating healthier and no smoking, even Marijuana." I make a face knowing that's one thing I'm not gonna stop doing. "If that doesn't work we'll go to medication and you'll start taking blood thinners."

"Okay. So, is that it?" I ask.

"Actually, no. Mr. Vercher, your health is really bad for your age. Now you're not terribly overweight for your BMI, but you have 26% fat behind your abs. Your blood sugar is abnormally high. After running those tests it was confirmed you have pre-diabetes. You're borderline diabetic. Now this doesn't mean for a fact you'll get type 2 diabetes, but in order for that not to happen you have to start taking better care of yourself."

I wasn't surprised. When I was homeless I didn't have a refrigerator or a place to put food. I was eating fast food almost everyday, mainly McDonald's. That's bad for anybody.

I watch as the doctor writes something down then she tears it from the notepad extending it to me. "This is a prescription for Anti-diabetic medication. Next time I see you I would like better results, but that'll only happen if you do what you're supposed to. Eat healthier, exercise, get more rest, you know the drill."

"Alright, I'll try," I say standing up.

"Not try, do," she says pointing at me. On my way out, I pay then leave going out to my car. I sit there for a minute staring at the prescription. I sigh scratching my head then stick the piece of paper in the middle counsel. I put my car in reverse backing out from the parking space then put it in drive leaving.

...

Instead of going to Marcel's for his daughter, Riva's birthday party I decide to just go home instead. It was already late and the party was almost over anyway. I was tired as hell and just wanted to go to bed.

Once I get home, I walk inside through the garage. I had everything I ever wanted, but I was still unhappy. I had a garage and driveway full of expensive cars, a million dollar house, clothes on my back, jewelry I didn't need, a wife and kids, but it really didn't mean anything at this point. Why? I don't know. It made me feel ungrateful because someone like me didn't deserve any of this stuff.

"Daddy!" I hear a little voice yell. I light up in a smile when I see Jodie run from the living room towards me. I pick her up with a grunt kissing her cheek.

"Wassup, baby girl?" I say as she rests her head on my shoulder.

"Nothing, playing with G-Ma." I chuckle because my Mom really had them calling her that instead of grandma or granny. She said she was a G, so she wanted to be called G-Ma. My Momma is too much, but I love her to death. My proudest moment was when I bought her the house she wanted in Malibu. Despite the past, she deserved it. She deserves to not live in the hood anymore, be happy and sober. "I missed you today," Jodie says making me look at her.

"I missed you too," I say kissing her forehead. "Where's your Mom and Stevie?" I ask walking with her in my arms towards the living room where my mom is sitting on the floor surrounded by dolls. Jodie was definitely spoiled, but she's my princess.

"Momma's in her office. You can't bother her. She's working. Stevie's already sleep cuz he's a baby. He can't hang. He had too much food at the party," Jodie teases making me laugh. "You gonna play dolls with us?" She asks with a hopeful smile.

"Sure. Just let me do something real quick and I'll be back down." She nods her head then I put her down going up the stairs. I go down the hall to Stevie's room opening the door. I look at him sleeping soundly in his bed. Where the hell is the time going? Just yesterday I was arguing with Dyme about the fact she didn't want to have him and now he's three. I was missing so much and I was wondering if it was worth it.

I shut the door back quietly then go to the end of the hall going into the master bedroom. I go to the closet first taking my Balenciaga sneakers off putting them back on the shelf. I go to the bathroom next turning on the shower water. While I wait for it to warm up I go over to my side of the sink counter opening my medicine cabinet. I grab a pill bottle opening it then shaking out two pills into my hand. I quickly throw them into my mouth swallowing them. At this point Percocet's were a necessity to get rid of the pain in my legs. Just one didn't work anymore. I was taking two twice a day and sometimes more depending on how I'm feeling.

"Something wrong with you?" Dyme says coming into the bathroom making me look over my shoulder. She can tell I'm confused by her question so she asks, "You took pills. You sick?"

"Just a headache," I lie. "How was the party?" I ask.

"Good. Fun. You should've been there. Left early though because I needed to get some work done. Where were you at?" She asks as I look in the mirror. She's sitting on the edge of the bathtub as I unbutton my polo.

"I had some business to take care of."

"Don't you always," I can sense the attitude in her voice as I pull my shirt over my head.

"Did you come in here just to nag me about how I'm always working and too busy for my family? If so, can you not? I've had a long day and just wanna take a shower then go to sleep."

"The steam from the shower must got you hot because I don't know who you're talking to. You might wanna pipe down, cool off. I just came in here to talk to you because it seems I can't even get the time of day for a simple conversation anymore."

I scratch my head then say, "We've had this conversation a million times. I'm out there working trying to provide for our family, nothing else. Everything we have is because I bust my ass. You're not complaining when I buy you shit. You have a Porsche, a Benz and a Lambo. You gotta $20,000 purse and more. Damn it, Dyme. You act like I'm out here cheating on your ass. What else do you want?!"

"You!" Dyme shouts making me turn around and look at her. "Isn't it fucking obvious. I want you. The old Joey who cared about me and his family. When loyalty and the people around you were important, not money. You think I give a fuck about that materialistic shit? No! I've been broke all my life, I don't care about this bullshit. I have my own money, so you don't need to buy me anything or did you forget? Get over yourself."

I lower my head resting my hands on the counter for support then she continues saying, "What good is a California king bed if I'm in this bitch alone almost every night? And what's the point of having a husband if I don't see or talk to him? At this point I need to be throwing the whole nigga away, but I'm not. I can't, not when I'm pregnant and just want this to work."

I raise my head turning around looking at her in shock. "You're pregnant?"

"Yup," she says sticking her tongue out making me laugh. For the first time I noticed she had a belly. Either I didn't care to notice or she was hiding it really well..

"Oh, shit. We're having another one?" I ask still not believing it.

"Yes!" She says standing up coming towards me. "So, make your choice...Get it together or I'm out and I refuse to raise three kids by myself. If I have to do that, I'll take you for all this shit. The house, cars, money, everything you care so much about," she says pointing around.

"You don't gotta do that. Damn," I say still in disbelief touching her stomach. Now I really gotta get my health together. What use am I to anybody if I'm dead? "You know I am sorry."

"I know," she says looking up at me.

"I love you," I say making her smile kissing her.  Sometimes you just need a reality check..

Big Fish by Vince Staples is my new fave song for the summer😎 I can't wait until the album next month.

Dyme pregnant? Comment / Vote💙⚔️