Avni's pov

Life looks so beautiful when you fall in love isn't it? In the beginning I used to hate the word love but Neil's love changed me.

My hatred for love is because of my father he never loved my mother. When a child has to see the broken marriage of his/her parents it's not less than a nightmare.

( here avni's past is same as the show, avnis father ashish choose neela over Ayesha. Neela was ashish's best friend from childhood but when neela comes to know about Ayesha & avni, neela broke all the ties with ashish. After some months Ayesha gave birth to aman & DWM killed Ayesha same as the show. Since then neela took responsibility of avni & avni love her like her own mother.)

I miss my Ayesha ma but neela ma always says that she will be always in my heart. I love my neela ma a lot. When Ayesha ma died neela ma took my and aman's responsibility and gave us a shelter to live. She is the best mother in the world. She proved us that soul connection is greater than a blood relation. She was not our real mother but I couldn't describe her place in our life. She was our angel.

When I was in 1st year of college, neela ma had to go London due to some problems related to company. She wanted to take me also there but I denied saying I don't want to go in the  middle of my academic year. After so persuading and pleadings she finally agreed to my decision and neela ma and aman went to London.

I miss both of them but my main reason for denial was Neil. Yes from day 1 I had a crush on him. on my first day of college his gang had tried ragging me but he saved me from them. I smiled at him and went from there. He was such a gentleman. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about him. When I got to know he was in same class as me my happiness was on another level. I used to stare at him secretly without coming to his notice. I couldn't figure out what was happening with me.

I met ananya my class mate. In such  a short span of time we bounded with each other well. I used to share everything with her. And she would say avni you are in love yaar. And that was my first face off to my feelings. Slowly slowly my feelings for him got stronger with time and I realized I am in love with him with neil Khanna. Ananya was hell bent on pushing me to propose neil but I was feeling shy.

After days passing I came to know about his life that he is an orphan, I felt bad for him. But no one would believe that because he was one of the most joyous guy in our college. I never saw him distressed honestly I also wanted to see him happy always.

And one day gaining some courage I proposed him listening to my heart and guess what he said yes. I was on cloud nine. I couldn't believe neil said yes to my proposal. When I shared this news to Ananya she was also gone mad and gave everyone treat from her side. She was my best friend and the most amazing person in my life. It was like dream come true for me. He never spared me a glance nor talked to me once whenever we would collide or come face to face so his positive answer to my proposal was shocking for me. Nevertheless I shrugged it off because this is what I wanted him in my life.

I had seen pain in his eyes, I knew how you felt when you lose your family. We would often talked sometimes on the phone at night. But one thing I didn't like was that every Girls were drooling over him & he was also flirted with them openly, sometimes in front of me also. But I never said him anything about this because I didn't want that he feel suffocate in our relationship.

When we were in second year our class got changed, me & Neil were in different class. At that time a new girl entered in our college, her name was juhi. She was in my class. We become friends in short span of time.

Neil used to come in my class on break time. No not for me, for his friends & ofcource some girls to flirt. He never looked at me in the college. I asked him about the same that why he ignored me like I don't even exist he would say that he don't want to teased by his friends & asked me to maintain distance in front of them. I agreed to him but with heavy heart.

One day me, juhi & ananya were in canteen munching our food. When Neil came from behind & sat beside me. I was so happy seeing him, I was seeing him after 2 days because he said to me to maintain distance in front of others. But instead of talking to me, he was talking to juhi. I felt bad very bad.

He started giving more attention to juhi. The feeling I had went through couldn't describe in words its worst trust me. I loved him so much. The thought of him going away from me was the worst nightmare.One day juhi had told me that Neil called her daily & they talked for hours. Sab se baat karne ka time tha uske pass except me. I mean how would you feel when your boyfriend talked with every other girl except you.

In his absence his friends tried to bully me. I said to neil one day that his friends were not good. They were just spoiling him. But he doesn't believed, instead he shouted on me & went to his friends & next day behaved with me normally like nothing had happened between us.

Day by day this distance increased between us and we barely talked. I called him every night but he used to talked about his friends and the girls. What I was thinking it wasn't matter to him.

I used to cry every day for him. Ananya used to tell me that I should broke up with him. But she didn't know that without him I couldn't imagine my life. I just wanted a tiny bit of his attention. Uske dil me thodi si bhi jagah mil jati to bohot tha mere liye.

Time passed quickly and we promoted in last year. My focus on the studies had also been reduced because of him.  Our farewell party held at a club. Neil's gang decided to do party in a club. Only 3rd year students were allowed In the farewell party. he was looking so handsome. It was our last day in the college. I didn't want to come but I changed my mind only for him. I wanted to see him, I know deep down he was also missing me.

I saw him standing with his friends and with juhi. She was also changed after she mate Neil. She also started ignoring me and got involved in Neil's gang.

Me & ananya were talking. Only she was talking, my whole attention was on him. I saw Neil holding juhi's hand & took her outside of the club. His friends were hooting for them from behind. I was confused but that scene was enough for me broke my heart.

My heartbeat raced. I also went outside and followed them. My brain calculated everything that what could have happened after that but I didn't want to imagine that. No Neil will never do this to me I was repeating this line continuously.

Neil took her at the corner and about to kiss her. My phone slipped out from my hand. They looked at me and separated from each other. My whole world crashed there. In one second my life turned upside down.

I looked at neil with tears in my eyes. He looked at me & Sighed. He came towards me and said " dekho avni ye tum bhi jaanti thi ki ye relationship and all me main believe nahi karta. I know you are hurt I am sorry for that."

Tear slipped from my eyes. I was broken beyond repair. I rubbed them roughly and went from there. Forever.

After that I went to London to my neela ma. Ananya tried to stop me but later agreed to it for me. Neela ma asked me about my sudden appearance but I made excuses that I missed her and aman.

After some months came my last semester result & I passed with flying colours. But memories of him and the time I had spent with him came running in my mind.

After that I completed my master degree in London.

It's been 4 years to that incident. It was still fresh in my memory like it was happened yesterday. I am happy in my life now. I am an actress. Yess it's my mom's dream to see me as an actress.

I can never hate him. Just wherever he was I wish all the happiness for him. I still misses him and love him and will do till my last breath.

Tu bhale bhul ja na mujhe Par
mera dil tujhe bhula na payega
Tu jab bhi hoga kisi aur ke baho me
Ek dafa mera khayal to zaroor ayega.

To be continued...