August 12, 1985

Will and I have had many sleepovers. That's because Joyce stayed the night a lot. Will and I were like siblings so I didn't mind him staying the night.

Most of the time we played truth or dare. "Truth or dare?" Will asks and he takes a bite of his chocolate bar. "Hmmm... dare." I say.

"I dare you to peek in Hoppers room for a second." He says with a grin. "Chicken." I say and go pale at the trauma I would face after looking in that room.

Will shudders. "Okay your turn, truth or dare." I ask him. "Truth." He says instantly. "Who do you like?" I say and giggle with evil laughter.

"I'm not telling you!" Will says and he crosses his arms. Trying to hide his blush. "You have tooo!" I say and I shake him.

"Do you promise you won't tell anyone?" He asks nervously. I nod vigorously and he looks from side to side before leaning in to whisper in my ear.

"Mike." He says and I scream. "You like Mike! I knew it!" I scream and laugh. "Shut up." Will screams and he covers my mouth.

"Thanks for the ride Robin!" I yell to her as I jump off the back of her bike. "No problem, and Max? If anything's happens. Call me." She adds.

I nod and take a deep breath as she peddles away. I throw my skateboard in the yard, it's dark. Plus nothing ever gets stolen in Hawkins.

I don't bother knocking, it's my house after all. The second I'm inside my lungs fill with the toxic air, putting me in a bad mood.

"Where have you been?" My mom yells as she runs up to me from the kitchen. "None of your business." I say calmly and I slink past her.

"You fucking apologize to your mother!" Neil yells and he grabs me and pulls me back towards him. "Let go of me." I say calmly.

I push him away from me and walk up the stairs. The second I get to my room I lock the door, I can already hear him running up the stairs.

"Let me in bitch!" Neil screams and bangs on the door. My ears start ringing and I can't breathe, I can't breathe, I can't breathe. 

I quickly open my drawer, pull it out and sit on my floor. "Let me in! Stupid dyke." Neil yells again and he kicks my door.

"Stupid faggot! I'm gonna kill you!" He shouts once again. Why is he like this? Why did my mom have to marry an asshole?

Tears stream down my face, and I scream. I scream and cry and yell and pound the floor. Why am I like this? Why can't I just be— 

I look down and the razor blade I grabbed is still clenched in my shaking hand. A giant cut is leaking all over me.

What have I done? Neil's stopped pounding on my door. Probably thinks I'm stupid. I stand up and whimper. I tried to kill myself, and I wasn't even sad.