BANG! BANG!

"OPEN THE DOOR, ALANA, I'M WARNING YOU!" Rowan barked from the other side.

I peeked out of the window and swallowed hard.

Yeah. It was stupid of me to think I could go superman from the ninth floor. At least I had my phone with me. There was little to absolutely no time until Rowan ninja-kicked the door. I had to think fast, calling Nina and asking for help wouldn't be such a great idea, I'd only worry her. Calling Chez would only put more fuel into the fire which is to say he'd find a reason to rub it in with a 'told you so.'

Nah!

I dialed Claire's number, it hit the recording, "The number you have dialed is not reachable, please try again later."

Of course, Claire was probably a thousand feet above the ground. My life depended solely on Dwight, if he did not answer my call, I'd have to dial the main house.

Thankfully, Dwight's phone rang.

Once.

Twice.

"Hello beautiful, just been two weeks and you're already calling me. Didn't think you'd actually take the brother switch idea so seriously." Dwight chuckled on the other end, "So...what's the occasion?"

"Dwight, you need to cut the comedy. I need your help."

"Is everything alright?" Dwight's cheerful tone had dispersed, "Let me rephrase the question, is Rowan posing a threat to your mere existence?"

"Rowan...he..he's been drinking and smoking hash and..." I began to tear up again.

"ALANA." Bang! Rowan pounded on the door making finch.

"What was that?" Dwight asked.

"I don't know what to do or what will calm him down. Rowan's been very aggressive. He cut himself, Dwight. I managed to lock Minnie and myself in her room but I'm not sure how long the door can stand him. He'll break it any minute now." I bit back the tears, I wasn't weak, "Dwight, I'm scared."

Dwight let out a sigh, "See, your 'I'm-gonna-be-Rowan's-savoir' plan is biting you back in the ass."

"Dwight!"

"Listen, let Rowan do whatever the fuck he wants. Pay him no heed even if he screams or bangs on the door, he will pass out in a while. Just don't provoke him. Stay behind the closed door and the situation will smooth out. I'm on my way."

Relief washed over me, "How much time would it take you to reach here?"

"At least an hour."

I cringed.

"Where is Minnie?"

"She is with me."

"Good, I will try my best to reach as fast as I can, until then will you promise me to stay strong and handle the situation?"

"Yes." My voice wavered.

"Okay, I'm on my way. Keep me updated on the situation and don't worry. You're gonna be fine."

Dwight hung up on me first. Minnie poked her head from below the bed, "Can I com out, Alana?"

"No. Stay." I told her as I climbed on my feet and kneeled close to the door, attaching my ear on it. I heard Rowan retreat and a second later his footsteps neared the door. I waited for the blow but there was just a soft knock.

"Baby, please open the door." I felt him press against the wood, "I just want to talk."

I stopped myself from going onto a fit of sobs.

"I'm not going to hurt you, I promise." He whispered, I could even feel his erratic breathing beginning to surface, "I just want you to listen to me."

"You consume every corner of my mind and I kept wondering if you'd even come back to me. Day and night, the thought was horrifying and drinking was the only way I could deal with it. A part of me thought it was best if you didn't return because for what it's worth, I turn you into my punching bag, I'm the reason you cry." He whispered, "I picture the day you met me and remember the good things you did to me. I was supposed to be your role model, Alana, a teacher and a man you looked up to but look what I've become. I wish I could make this stop, make these demons go away."

I wasn't sure how long I could keep from making a sound; I pressed my palm to my mouth.

"I know you're listening." Rowan continued in his clipped voice, "I'm sorry I lied to you, but believe me when I say that I was gonna tell you the truth eventually. Lauren was the biggest mistake of my life, my biggest regret, but Minnie is the best thing that ever happened to me, Alana, and she is the only reason I would never undo what I've done in the past. I just wanted you to know this."

I wanted to unlock the door and throw my arms around him but I couldn't. His malevolent behavior, his threats were enough to scare me for a life time. I had looked right into his red rimmed eyes and watched that animal taking control over him, consuming him. He could easily strike the door down with his herculean strength but the alcohol and the drugs had sucked the life out of him, making him weak.

"I'm sorry for what I have put you through, I really am. I'm not going to lie to you baby, I'm going to speak the truth like I always have. I love you so much that when you aren't around me I feel lost. Those sad violins start to play in the background which makes everything so much worse." He coughed, a harsh cough, "I know that I would never make it out of this, but you can. I don't want to be monster that would make your life miserable so when you walk away this time, don't turn around again baby. No matter how many times I call you. Just keep walking. "

I leaned my forehead on the hard wood, pressing until it hurt. You're redeemable Rowan, don't say all that. Don't lose hope.

Rowan never made a sound after that so I thought he had passed out just like Dwight told me he would. I pressed against the door again but there was still no sound. Rowan could have calmed down for now but it would take him a second to summon the demon back and I could NOT take any chances when it came down to Minnie.

"Minnie, come out now." She crawled out, her white freely dress had picked on some dust. I picked her up in my arms. The metal knob remained cold against my warm hand, I turned it and slowly but with precaution I opened the door. Rowan lay beneath on the carpet against the door; his eyes closed and breathing normally. The outer part of the door had red blood marks. The gauze on his hand was undone.

"Daddy."

Fuck!

Rowan pulled himself upright, "Alana."

"Alana, why iz daddy cheepin on the foor?"

I clenched Minnie to myself, "Stay there, I'm coming back."

"Don't go, Alana, wait." Rowan's expressions remained appalled.

Minnie waved to Rowan with her tiny hands, "buuye buuye daddy." I crossed the hallway and into the living area, I noticed Rowan followed suit maintaining a good distance.

I had already reached the foyer when I turned to face him, "Rowan, I'll talk to you. Just stay where you are. Take another step and you'll regret."

Rowan stared at me with his lifeless mocha eyes, wounded and tormented, fragile like a crystal showpiece. Someone could have easily pegged him as a little boy lost in Toys R Us. I watched his lip moment but couldn't hear anything, just a single word, "stay."

It took all my willpower to not turn and keep walking. Keeping Minnie safe was important. I heard him whisper behind me, "I love you."

***

Mrs. Williams scanned me, "It's past ten. Cary is not even at home."

"I know Mrs. Williams, but please this is a request. I will come back for her in half hour."

She wasn't convinced yet, "Where is Mr Masters?"

"I have to take him to the hospital and I can't keep Minnie in the dorms. Please just keep her for some time. I promise to be back, her uncle is on his way."

She nodded like she was doing some kind of a huge favor on me, like I asked her to keep a baby dinosaur in her house instead of a harmless three year old child. "Okay."

Good Grief!

"I'll be back okay, Minnie? Be good." She nodded.

I had to talk to Rowan now, but I was already drained of every ounce of energy and I'd become more like a walking zombie. I need to keep myself in check, cool my mind and then talk to him. He'll be fine then, I told myself as I walked towards the park across the street and settled in a swing. Swinging slowly, wondering how my life had just got out of hands. My phone vibrated in my denim pockets, I scanned the number. It flashed, Dwight.

"How's Rowan doing?" is the first thing he asked me.

"He passed out just like you told me and I was just gonna call you to ask what I should do next. I left Minnie in Cary's house for the time being."

"What do you mean? Where are you now, Alana?" Dwight sounded alarmed.

"I'm across the street, waiting."

"WHAT?" He snarled, "You left him alone??!"

"I was just trying to figure out a way to talk to him. I'm going back, why? Is that what I shouldn't have done?" my pulse began to race.

"I told you to stay with him, doesn't matter if you were behind the closed door. Now get moving back to his apartment. Pronto."

I jumped down at once and crossed the street, "Just tell me what's wrong?"

"Love, you don't wanna know. Rowan keeps a Glock-19 in one of his drawers. There is a likely possibility he might blow up his brains if he is feeling too sorry for himself. Shit!"

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" I yelled on the phone.

"How am I supposed to know you were going to get yourself out? I told you to wait there Alana, Rowan is not stable at the moment, he is suicidal. Get to his apartment and go through his drawers."

I took the elevator quickly, trotted towards his apartment and found it empty. It was just the way I'd left it. The lights weren't even turned out, my eyes traveled to the trail of blood that led to where I stood. I stormed my way into his bedroom which was dark as usual and no furniture was damaged. The heavy drawers of the dresser were left open along with the closet doors like they were searched thoroughly and frantically. The thought of Rowan trying to kill himself was driving me into a dark abyss of nothingness. I breathed in and out. No! I was losing it. Every limb in my body was screaming for an hour sleep.

I dialed Rowan's number which was on speed dial, it rang. Rang some more and went straight to voice mail, "Rowan, baby please, answer the call. I love you, don't do something stupid."

I left him a message, my hands trembled all over. I punched Dwight's number, "Dwight, he isn't here and I couldn't even find his gun."

"Fuck! Have you thoroughly checked all the drawers?"

"Yes I have." I could barely speak.

"Don't cry Alana, you're strong, I know that."

"I'll go check if his car is in the lot."

"Just stay in the apartment, Alana, don't tire yourself. I'll be reaching in another twenty minutes."

"What if he doesn't show up or worse what if he does something to himself? I can't sit and wait."

"Knock yourself out." That said, he hung up on me again.

I didn't remember the last time it felt like my soul was getting sucked out of my body. I dragged myself out of the bedroom but before I could take off downstairs again, I halted in the living area. The empty bottle of alcohol sent me into a fit of rage. I picked it up and threw it shattering down like it was my mortal enemy. It was the thing that had ruined Rowan's life, tearing our love into bits that's when I noticed the platinum ring glimmer on the table, it lay at the exact same place I had left it, only this time there was a small parchment sized torn out paper sitting beside it. It was written in beautiful loopy cursive.

Tell Minnie, daddy is sorry.

That coward with no sense of consequence, running away from his problems by killing himself was the only solution he could find. I picked the ring up and slid it back on.

This was Rowan's promise to me.

I was going to hold on to it until the very end.

It  was my last hope.