Alana

    I stood outside the terminal as the cab driver helped me load my luggage. He knew little English and all the while, he tried to talk me into telling him what was wrong, finally giving up when I said it was a break up. The clouds turned an ugly shade of grey mirroring my mood for the day.

    I'd received messages from Dwight, but I hadn't responded. The last thing I wanted was for Dwight to talk me into thinking Rowan's decision was for the best because no matter how crazy Rowan's ideas were, I knew for a fact that Dwight would talk in support of his brother. Meanwhile, my call logs had over a dozen missed calls, all of which had been from the Glory Rehabilitation Center, and as much as I'd been tempted to answer Rowan's calls, I'd kept my emotions in check and ignored them because I didn't need any more damage to my heart then what he'd already done.

This was supposed to be a fun trip, how had it turned out this way?

I remembered forty-eight hours ago I was packing my luggage and getting all giddy thinking of how Rowan would react to my little surprise visit and planning our little date with the smallest of details. Chez had been right all along, he had warned me that Rowan would ruin me and he had. He had shown me the kind of world that never existed, wooed me with his charm and broken my heart. Twice.

    I had always been a strong girl, how had I become like this? What right did he have to paint a beautiful picture for me and then splash gallons of black paint all over it. I retrieved my passport and ticket from my bag-pack and wheeled the trolley towards the airport entrance.

   "Alana." The familiar voice called out to me, the voice that I knew would haunt me for as long as I lived.

   I turned to face Rowan standing just a few meters away from me. His mocha colored eyes searching mine.

   My heart fluttered, the way it always did when I saw Rowan.

  Stupid Heart! Rowan broke up with me, stop fluttering already.

He was dressed casually in a navy blue checkered shirt, his sleeves folded up just the way I liked it, matched with a light blue denim jeans. His eyes looked red, like he'd been crying. I regretted blurting out the terminal number during our date. If I hadn't opened my fat mouth, he wouldn't be here trying to make conversation or whatever it was that he was here for.

    "Why are you here?" I tried to sound angry.

    "I just wanted to talk." He said softly, taking slow steps towards me.

    I took a few steps back. "Whatever it is that you want to say, I'm not interested."

   Rowan finally closed the distance and pulled me away from the queue, his fingers were laced through mine.  "I'm getting late." I whispered, my resolve getting weaker with his touch.

   I was looking everywhere except his face. He pushed my hair behind my ear as his fingers caressed my cheek. I wanted to brush him off, but my hands had a mind of its own. "Stop it, Rowan."

    "This is very hard for me. You understand that right?" He asked.

     "What I know is that my feelings don't matter to you. If it had, then you wouldn't have broken up with me."

    "Do you remember the first time we met?"

    I gave a nod.

    "I remember thinking you were funny when you said you would save me a seat. It would sound cliché but after that day, I kept thinking about you. And when you gave me the signals..." Rowan laughed. "I decided to take a risk, and I'm glad for it. If I hadn't told you that I loved you, I wouldn't have known this feeling. The day when I took you to my parents' house for dinner, I realized how much your love had consumed me."

   Stop it! Stop saying things that makes me want to love you more.

   "And for once, I knew that you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with."

   "So what changed?"

   "Nothing, baby. I still love you, but you know, sometimes love is not enough." a tear trickled down his face. "There will never be a cure for me, Alana.

   "It doesn't matter to me, it never did." I whispered, clenching his shirt front. "Are you tired of being with me because I'm nine years younger to you? Or, have you found someone else here in Denmark?"

   Rowan shook his head as if to say he couldn't even imagine those crazy ideas.

   "I've never so much as looked at any other woman when I've been with you, baby. You're just too perfect." He said ignoring the people around who were staring at us, some brushed it off as a lover's goodbye. "And, I can't ruin your life because I'm too selfish to let go. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you, Alana?"

I nodded as I couldn't control when a sob a broke through.

"If we continued this relationship, then there will be point in our lives where it will be too much for you to handle and I will take you down with me. You don't want to be part of my darkness. I'm helpless where Minnie is concerned, she is my daughter but you have a choice."

"What do you want me to do?" I managed to say while still sobbing.

"Move on."

I was overcome by a sharp pain in my heart.

"Would you be okay if I find someone else?" I looked Rowan in the eye and asked because I wanted to know if he really meant what he had said.

   He wasn't looking at me, but he briefly met my gaze and said. "Yes, baby. As much as it hurts, I still want you to find someone better, someone without a truck load of problems. It would make me happy."

   "You're lying." I said.

    He didn't respond which meant he was a bad liar.

   "Why can't we just..." before I had time to complete, Rowan closed the distance between us and his arms were around me. His lips were insistent as he began kissing me slowly and then harder. His tongue moved in urgent strokes, I moaned even though I was so angry and frustrated with him. It was hard to resist when he was kissing me like I was his universe. And it was going to be even harder to let go when I knew what I was going to lose. We were both putting up a show but we didn't care. When we pulled apart, both of us were breathless. Rowan licked the tears off my cheek, showering me with kisses all over my face.

   "Are you still angry with me?" he wanted to know.

    "You can't expect me to give you a toothpaste commercial smile after you clearly broke up with me." The kiss was amaze-balls, but I didn't want to admit.

   Rowan chuckled, and I liked the sound of his laugh. It was probably another one of my last's with him. "Thank you for the gifts. I like that jacket a lot and also the photograph."

    "You can just get rid of that photograph." I said sourly. "I don't think your future girlfriends need to see that one."

   He threw me a pointed look, one that I'd been accustomed to since a year now. It used to scare me before, but now, not so much.

  "What about the letter? Did you read it?"

   I watched a few wheels turning in his head as he debated whether I would see through his lie or not. "I haven't" he said truthfully.

   "Why?"

   "Because if I read it, I know it's going to be even harder to let you go."

   "Use it as a toilet paper and flush it down." I blurted out.

   "Alana!" he frowned. "Some advice, you need to control your verbal diarrhea and cut down on your insults." 

    "Too bad, I don't take advice from ex-boyfriends or ex-professors anymore."

    Rowan sighed.

    "I need to go." I said finally.

   "Be safe." Rowan placed a kiss on my forehead, still holding my hand, neither of us letting go off each other. He wasn't saying the word 'Goodbye'. I wondered why since this was probably the last time we saw each other.

    We stared for what felt like hours and he was the first to pull his hand away from mine. I instantly missed the warmth of his touch, but I didn't say anything because Rowan was a stubborn man. He would never admit that this was hurting him as much as it was hurting me. I gripped the bag-pack tightly, wheeling the trolley away from him towards the main entrance of the airport.

   He was still standing, looking so fucking handsome even with his tired eyes and shabby hair that I had a burning urge to run back into his arms, but I couldn't. I waved at him once, and he waved back. A shadow of a smile lingering over his face, what I knew was a forced smile.

    The doors closed and I didn't look back through the transparent doors because it was hard as it is. Kind of like I was keeping a piece of my heart here in Denmark.

   I never knew goodbyes would be so hard.              

****

     Nina was already waiting outside the airport for me with a huge ass sign board that said 'Welcome back future wife of the professor' which I may add was super corny and getting too much attention from the crowd at the airport. It seemed like some of them were very keen to see this alleged future wife of the professor. Sadly, I needed to break the bubble soon. I wasn't anticipating Nina's reaction.

      She wrapped me in a warm hug, passing me that infectious smile. "Hey! Welcome back."

    I snatched the sign board from her and turned the back to the front. "Where's Chez?"

  "He is at KFC, buying a bucket. We are so gonna have fun tonight. Let's ditch that asshole and have a girls night. We will marathon every fucking DVD you have and..."

  "Wait. Why are all these girls night always in my dorm room?" I asked as we both slipped into Chez's Mustang. Nina took over the driver's seat. Nina's driving was as bad as a roller coaster on loose hinges, but I wasn't in a mood to complain.

    "Because you have the biggest room." She said, "So..."

    I knew what she wanted to know. Her eyes sparkled.

   I pretended to love the view outside.

   "So...." She said again, "You know, I need details about this trip that I spent god knows how much.  How was your pre-marriage honeymoon? Like I know you guys must have fucked like bunnies, but you were safe weren't you?  Like, you don't want a Minnie part two..."

  "Nina.."

    "Stop with all the suspense and tell me."

  "We broke up." As soon as the words left out of my mouth, she pressed so hard on the brakes that people honked. Some even showed us the finger as they left honking and throwing a string of curses.

  "Shut up!" Nina said in the same exaggerated way of hers. "It's too soon for April Fools."

  "I'm not joking. We are not together anymore."

   "Please don't cry, Alana."

   "I'm not crying." I'd done all the crying on the plane that I'd probably used up every box of tissue available on flight.

  "We need a refund from Mr. Masters." Nina was parked in the middle of the road. "We are so gonna egg his apartment."

  "He is in Denmark. Nobody would care even if you threw grenades."

  "Babe, we don't need no KFC bucket." Nina said as she put the car into drive almost dramatically, "We are going to Baskin Robins, and I'm going to treat you to the biggest double chocolate chip ice-cream you've ever had. Trust me, you will forget Rowan Masters like he was that—" she pointed at a random lean boy on the street. "passerby on the road. You just wait."

     I started laughing. I laughed so hard. Nina joined in and then the tears began pouring down my face.

Stupid Heart. Stupid tears.

  I realized that getting over Rowan Masters was going to be hard. Double chocolate chip ice-cream worked for only about as long as the ice-cream lasted. Nina and I went back to my dorm like we had decided and I told Chez I wasn't okay so he wouldn't nag me into having dinner with him. After everything that he had done for me, he didn't need to see me like this. Nina did everything in her power to keep my mind away from Rowan, she even slept that night in my room and gave me space while I cried in my pillow.

    I knew I still had a dozen more nights of crying left to do.

****

A.N: Hey Everyone! Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. The next chapter will take place a few years from now. I'm so excited for y'all to read the upcoming chapters. So, what do you think happens further? Please Vote, and comment telling me what you think. Stay Blessed!