Jim entered the small, but cramped circular bridge of the Kelvin. He looked around, baffled, seeing the darkened color. It looked like the ship was in space dock. He had studied the ship in a reconstruction of it. He felt as though that he was not alone He could see Earth below through the view screen as a glowing, vibrating marble resting in space surrounded by holes inside a pocket. It was a fascinating sight. That he, a human, came from as part of species, the planet that he was supposed to have been born on. But it was so alien. Like he did not belong to it. As though he was staring at someone elses homeplanet.

The planet that his mother,Commander Miller, had stayed away from since he was five years old. She left him with his Uncle Frank and his brother too. His brother ran away years later. He felt uneasy about the room. He came over to the chair visualizing his father's figure sitting there. Leaning to his left with a curl in his hair with a massive build and broad shoulders. He must have been ginormous. His father always said that he looked uncanny like his father but he lacked the dimming eyebrows. He heard laughter behind him. He turned. There was a humanoid in the more modern uniform. A black regulation shirt below a blue shirt that had the science officer badge on it. It seemed right of place but a chill traveled down the man's spine. The hair on the back of his neck rose up. Jim felt light as a feather.

"Bones?" Jim said. "Bones!" he approached the figure to see that it had a face of a asparagus. Jim laughed. "Take that asparagus mask off." he slapped the man's shoulder.

The asparagus walked forward lacking eyes toward him.

Sourceless laughter was coming from the asparagus.

"Wanna bet?" Jim asked. "I bet I would look more terrifying than you in that mask."

The asparagus reached out grabbing him by the neck with a tight squeeze banging him against the nearby station. His throat began to close as he wrapped his hands around the tough, dense large hands wrapped around his neck. He kicked at the asparagus's legs, "Spock! Look Bones! BONES!" he could feel the heavy weight on his throat. "help, help, help." his eyes winced as the grip was continued. "It's choking me," the heavy weight was a lot like Spock's choking grip on him.

The asparagus laughed.

"Stop. . . laughing. . ." Jim said. "this. . . isn't. . . funny. . . anymore."

"Lay off the snickers!" Jim overheard McCoy's voice from the background.

"Leonard!" James called. "LEONARD! IT'S CHOKING ME!"

"PUT THAT CANDY BAR DOWN AND EAT HEALTHY!" McCoy shouted.

For some reason, the man had a feeling it wasn't directed at him.

A memory from the past.

"Lay off, asparagus. . . can't . . breath. . . this. . isn't. . . funny . . anymore," Jim said, as the laughter grew from the asparagus.

So this was how he was going to die.

Alone.

By a walking embodiment of asparagus.

And it would walk over his dead body.

The only way to defeat it would be to eat its face.

Or bite into its hand.

"Spock!" Jim cried. "Spack! Spawk! Spock! HELP ME!"

He ate people before for the sake of survival and he preferred not to do it again.

Over, his dead body.

Suddenly the figure fell crumbling to a pile of asparagus. Jim got up regaining his breath feeling unsteady. He looked over to see Spock with his arms locked behind his back looking down upon the mess. Spock slowly, and carefully, picked the asparagus up placing them into a basket. Jim cleared his throat grasping at it. That was a close call. He looked over toward the commander to see him in one of the uniforms that he had seen in the mind meld with the elder Spock. He was in a blue, white, and black uniform and he had his Spock's face. Jim relaxed.

"Captain," Spock said. "it appears this anomaly has given us unexpected visitor."

"What do you suppose it is?" Jim asked.

"A sentient humanoid species based off asparagus," Spock said. "however, there is no logic of how this is possible," by his side apparated Fuller. "take this to the brig until we determine how to deal with this."

"Aye, sir," Fuller said, with a nod.

"Nearly tried to kill me," Jim said, as the room bustled to life.

"Namely because you attract threats," Nyota said, turning from her station. "now why does everyone like to choke you?"

"It is a good question, lieutenant," Spock agreed, as Fuller vanished from the line of sight. "did you instate witch craft or black magic?"

"Me?" Jim said, walking over to the chair with the eyes of Pavel and Hikaru all on him. "Nah. I never did that," our view panned over to the young boy surrounded by eight other children preparing to do a ceremony of some kind using amphibians. "I am too sensible to do that. I was mot the kind who wanted attention on myself."

"I won't be surprised if you did but you don't remember it," Nyota said.

"I did that once," Hikaru said. "but I had to end it using a complete pack of root beer."

"Glad I didn't do it," Pavel said.

"Admit it, captain," Nyota said. "everyone here has made plenty of mistakes."

Jim shook his head.

"I would if I did," Jim said.

"Shame," Hikaru said. "That would have been a funny story to hear."

"What about you, Spock?" Jim asked.

"I believe not," Spock said. "as logic dictates that magic does not exist."

"Dubious at best with magic," Jim said.

"Would you prefer to play chess or. . " Spock slowly began to ask.

"I rather watch the store," Jim said. "always something fun going on."

"I will take my leave," Spock said, then made his way out of the scene.

Jim went over to the captain's chair. He blinked and the scenery changed before his eyes to the desk with his hands clasped together in front of a large padd that had words that did not make sense to the human. It looked lot like Klingon than it being Vulcan. It looked so alien sto his eyes. It wasn't Cardassian, Gangorian, Loche, and Lacciev. Nor Romulan. He got up from the chair then made his way around it. There was a chirp from the comn terminal along the wall then he pressed the side of the button putting it in.

"Kirk here," Jim said.

"The prisoner has avakened, captain," Nyota said. "Mr Spock is waiting for you."

Jim nodded his head.

"Understood, Uhura," Jim said.

"And," Nyota said. "are you still going to attend the sleep over?"

"I would not miss it for the world," Jim said. "and it's a video game night."

"More of a sleep over spending it at Gailia's room," Nyota said.

"Yes," Jim said, fondly. "it is. I will bring my own make up. Kirk out."

Jim pressed the button again turning the comn terminal off then began to make his way down the Hall. It felt like he was watching someone driving his body much like a car like he wasn't in control. Someone else was pretending to be captain James T. Kirk. He found his way into the brig where Spock was in front of the brig with his hands locked behind his back slightly turned in his direction quirking an eyebrow up. Jim noticed he was in civilian uniform which consisted of a plaid black and red shirt, long skinny jeans, and a white shirt beneath the partially buttoned up shirt. Jim noticed Spock had a bracelet of asparagus around his wrist. The Vulcan lowered his eyebrow turning towards the prisoner. Jim came to the man's side.

"Why did you attack my ship?" Jim asked.

"You attacked mine, first," the figure was in dark gray prison attire.

"You attacked first," Jim said.

"You attacked," The figure replied.

"That is not true," Spock said. "we were not paying attention to you. And you were not a threat to the ship."

The figure looked down toward the discarded asparagus.

"So. . ." The figure's icey green eyes looked through Jim's soul. "what is with the asparagus?"

Spock and Jim shared a glance to each other.

Jim's eyes boggled noticing Spock was wearing a crown made of asparagus.

"Do not deflect from the line of questioning, " Spock said.

"Where is Bones?" Jim asked.

"He has taken ill lately," Spock replied.

"Really? He would have told me by now. . ." Jim said.

"He will recover," Spock said.

Suddenly, the scene changed to a arctic one that was strangely familiar. He fell down face first into a sea of bitter cold, piercing snow. Delta Vega, that's the only arctic planet he has thorough experience on. He got back to his feet noticing that he was in winter gear including a long colorful scarf, a tight but dress like green coat with a very warm furry hood and heavy boots. He waved his arms feeling the tightness against his ribs He slightly zipped the zipper down once gaining his composure. He turned around hearing a familiar annoyed, grumpy shout in the distance. There was fog. Why Delta Vega of all place? He noticed there were tall glaciers in the distance with large boulders pressed against them to his side. There were sculptures around him that reminded him of several away missions and first contacts. And--one of them resembled the Enterprise. His fingers were in black, fuzzy warm gloves. He squinted his eyes.

"Bones?" Jim said. "Bones! Is you?"

He saw a large, familiar figure on four feet headed his way but with a human head. In one hand it held a long thin item.

That was steaming.

It could only be one thing: asparagus.

"I will say it again and I will say it twice, EAT YOUR VEGETABLES!" McCoy shouted.

Jim turned away and fled.

"This is bull shit!" Jim shouted, fleeing from the herbivore/carnivores beast running after him.

"I'VE SAID, EAT IT!" McCoy trailed behind the young captain who leaped over a large boulder skidding in the snow heading toward a cliff side and his heart beat against his chest. He fell over the cliff with a scream with the beast following after him. He reached out grasping for a tree branch getting a cut to the side of his hand. The beast went past him, "DAMN IT, JIM!"
Jim looked over his shoulder to see a cloud of snow rising up.

"Poor Leonard," Jim said. Then he saw the figure move.

"Eat healthy or I am goin' to eat your ass like Zeus did with his babies ONLY A LOT WORSE!" the beast threatened.

"I would invoke a beauty and the beast joke," Jim began. "but that is wildly inappropriate given that THIS IS NOT A LOVE STORY WHERE INANIMATE OBJECTS ARE ALIVE!" Jim heard a growl from below his figure. "I LOVE YOU TOO!"

Jim swung into a hole using the branch and rolled his way inside. He heard something dig its way into the glacial. Jim looked around for anything in particular. He found a sharp rock and held it for self defense. The large beast made its way up with three cool, steaming asparagus in one of its grips. The stubborn as hell expression plastered onto the human face staring right in his direction. Jim fell back onto his ass then used the wall as his support feeling his legs growing heavy underneath him.

"'I love ya, honey, but you need to eat healthy," the beast said. "I am honestly terrified that I am goin' to lose ya one day due to how ya eat. And I don't know how I will be able to live knowin' I couldn't help ya," his hazel eyes glared at the human. Then the beast boomed,"NOW EAT IT!" scrabbling its way into the cave bending down getting his hair coated in pieces of icicles. His white fur made him look incredibly massive if not dog like or ape like all in one body with tired bags under his eyes. What pieces of snow there was coating his hair made McCoy look older. Older thirty in all before the man.