{ AHT }

Even while her mischievous nature pours out, there's an effortless elegance.

I've never seen this from other spirits but her because they struggle to maintain their divine image. Ki, however... With her wild cloud of hair, her not-so-innocent dress, and her dance around me who had a back straight posture with long silky hair, others might think I'm the elegant one. They couldn't be more wrong.

We're in the middle of her meadow after the sky turned cloudy. She sits with an open book on her lap and hasn't read for a while, because she focuses on the songs from the gramophone and wants to ingrain them into her memories. Her initial reaction was a surprise and turned gleeful when the first few notes reached her ears.

When I heard music for the first time, I was excited and completely lost my marbles. Now I reminisce about it... It's sad. I was definitely overjoyed to hear a rhythm aside from my own, but it showed how I spent eternity living without being alive.

"Billie again, my Aht?"

"That's right, love."

She is beaming like the stars, proud whenever she recognises their voices and what type of songs they made. Bing Crosby, Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday, et cetera. She has been listening for hours. In all honesty, I hoped there would be music from other countries too when I searched for these records, albeit it's wishful thinking. These songs will do for now.

Meanwhile, I'm close to finishing braiding poppies, lavender, and daisies into a wreath crown. Learnt the method from craft books because my hands just keep creating. This is my fourth try and I think it's quite neat! With a last loop of the stem, I tighten it and inspect it... and realise that Ki's eyes on me have gone soft.

Clearing my throat when warmth surges to my cheeks and nose, I place the crown on her head carefully. "Here! It's for you."

Her eyebrows raise when she touches it. "Truly? Why don't you wear it?"

"I'll make another one, don't worry. You look like a flower goddess."

"Oh Aht..." She grins as her nose scrunches up, making me breathless. "You're a wonderment in crafting. It's beautiful, even the flowers match each other."

I can see the tip of my nose getting pinker and I nudge her. "Don't you want to sing or dance?"

"I want to savor these songs first."

Soon after, I braid her hair. It's impossible to do a waterfall one, so I'm doing a fishtail like mine. Going to be difficult because the texture is so soft and fluffy, but! I'm not Aht if I back down.

____________________

Despite the clouds and the town's polluted light floating across the abyss, they don't block the stars and the moon from us. We're still listening to music and its echoes, and I lit up the lantern hours ago.

I like watching her read while playing with her unruly hair. Majestic in the dim light when her thick brows crease and her tongue rests on the corner of her upper lip. When her strong jaw flexes from mouthing words, I study the rest of her graceful beauty, and a masculine firmness is found. She must've been shifted as a man before. Pfftt! As if her toned body isn't a dead giveaway.

I bet higher spirits' facets remain to be either strictly male or female by the latest 'standards' since a variety of human facets are a hassle and too blending for them. I met Esj last year and there was no indication that he'll change.

Ki combined the facets wonderfully. She'll be able to pass off as a beautiful man if she wears men's clothing. If she shifts as a man, she is still very much capable of having everyone in the palm of her hand. I'm sure of it.

And I finish my dinner... She creates a small strawberry cake—she was able to pick up that's my favourite fruit!—in her hand and gives it to me without looking up from the book.

"You're spoiling me too much, Ki."

"I love to keep doing so, so hush."

I shove the whole cake into my mouth, creating a shock in her. I chew obnoxiously in front of her face—her loud, carefree laugh lilts along with the music. She squishes my cheeks once more, and my wreath crown almost falls off. Your Highness, I love her.

"You're disgusting."

"No, I'm Aht."

"That's horrible." But her laughter gets louder, going against her statement. "How is your mouth so big?"

"I have an enormous appetite. A gift my mouth accommodates me for." Maybe because I shape-shifted into a snake before to scare people, and it affected my jaw structure.

She watches me with a blush, wiping the frosting away from my lips. Her eyelids are... half-shut? She licks the frosting from her thumb—languidly.

"Ki?"

"Huh?"

Like a river, the expression is gone and replaced by her usual bright self. She then glances away, and her cheeks are darker. Goodness, I get a little worked up. What happened? Her usual seduction comes with effort, but this one was... as if it came naturally.

"Are you alright, Ki?"

"Wonderful."

"You sure?"

"Swell."

I watch her sceptically when she gives me this reprimanding look along with a hint of restraint. Hmmm. I'll wait for her to be more comfortable and tell me. I hate when people beat around the bush, albeit she's a special case. An overthinker like me, except I tend to be careless in the end, I must admit.

"Anyway, you'll make me fat." I pat my tummy.

"The foods I make are guaranteed to not deteriorate your health, and I don't mind if you're fat."

"I don't care too, but I won't be able to move or fight much, not to mention—"

"Why do you need to fight?"

Aishh shit. Her head tilts and she closes the book. I don't want to bring up war, although she isn't a baby or ignorant.

"You know there's a war, right? Multiple wars if we're being honest."

"I know the war news from Taq from time to time. Heard a lot of... sordid details of what they've done to each other. Why the need to fight? You were a soldier?"

"Err no."

She questions me with love in her eyes. Should I tell her that I fought other spirits because they saw I used my dwindling power, and thus accused me as a threat? When human soldiers either worshipped me or felt threatened by me without any reason to? Unfortunately, I have to tell her that I was a higher spirit.

Except, she doesn't have to know since there is no way of going back as a spirit. At times, I regretted being a human until I met Ki. I cannot afford to regret it again, even though I'm no longer immortal for her love.

I can't linger on the ghosts of what-ifs.

"Let's just say I had to fight off people along the way."

She glances down. "That's why you should stay with me forever. Stay safe with me."

I chuckle when she's in an adamant mood, and I pull her down onto the grass to lie beside me. The grass is wet on my ears, but I pay no mind when she faces me, almost pleading.

"Stay," she whispers.

My heart is bursting in flames. She scoots closer. I mirror her and wrap my arm around her, rubbing her back. "I will. For the night." Her melancholic smile dampens my heart's fire a little. "Oh Ki..."

"One night isn't enough but it'll do for now. I don't mean to stifle your freedom. I'm only afraid for you."

I join in her whispers. "You don't stifle me. I had enough of the world. Even a bunch of good people don't sway my view on it."

"Why do you go back?"

"The world is in shambles, yet I feel—"

"Hopeful? For a better future?"

My uncontrollable grin prompts a lovely grin out of her. "Now you're too understanding."

"I've imagined being in your shoes and would have felt the same. Doesn't lessen my fear, though." Her fingers fiddle with my hair.

"What will? Aside from staying here?"

"That's a secret." She hugs me tighter with slight mischief. Hehe! I'll be patient then. I realise the music stops, so I move. Ki holds me down, kissing my nose. "I'll change it, Aht. What song do you want?"

I know what song I want to hear... I shake off the thought. It's not possible.

"You're blushing. What is it?"

"It's... a dirty thought, Ki."

"Humor me." Her curious gaze pulls me to tell.

"I thought the song I want is your moans when I make love to you."

...Her mouth slightly opens, her eyes are large, and her breathing is heavy. Her heart's beating fast. Is she okay?

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Your admittance is something."

"I'm sorry for being too forward." And hypocritical too since I've restrained her seduction.

"No, don't be! Your forwardness is one of the things I love about you. I'm... surprised," she giggles. I'm sensing it's not just a surprise. I still won't push her. "Ahem! Since my moans are not on vinyl, I'll choose the song myself." She kisses my nose again and gets up, crawling towards the vinyl.

I turn on my back and face the sky, watching the night's bright companions. It's wide. Too wide, as I'm really watching them, ever since I was banished.

...

...So caved in. So small.

The lights up there are in favour of Them. I'm scorned down here, never to be in Their good graces. Even Ki, who loves me, should feel like a gift from heaven itself, albeit... it also comes with a punishment: my mortality. Punishing me by breaking my beloved's heart. I shouldn't think bad about Your Highness but gosh, sometimes I question myself if I'm too optimistic.

"Aht?"

I look away, helpless to stop the flowing tears and sniffles. I hear her movement. A song starts to play.

"Baby, what's wrong?" She lies beside me again and holds me tighter than ever, making me face her with an embarrassing amount of snot and tears. She seems fearful. I hate causing this.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. Too emotional. Please give me a minute."

"I'll always be here."

A melodic voice sings odd words in a rich tune. "Ki, what song is this?"

"Never heard of it?"

"No, I grabbed any vinyl I could find."

"The title looks interesting. I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire by The Ink Spots."

The more the lyrics blare... The more I cry. I am in this song. Through and through. Ki's heartwarming features are tainted with worry, soothing me with sweet nothings as I cry onto her shoulder.

Stings pound into my head as my body curls in, trying not to get myself ripped apart.

{ KI }

I wish I could take away his pain.

Whatever pain that plagues his mind. His gravelly sobs vibrate through my heart, urging me to keep him calm.

"Ki?" He sounds meek, very different from the familiar mettle.

My heart clenches. "Yes, baby?"

"What will you do if the whole universe is against you?"

"What do you mean?" Dumbfounding when he buries himself more into me like he is hiding. That won't do. Not towards me. "Look at me. Please look at me, Aht."

With him avoiding my stare, he seems ashamed by the fluid mess on his face. I don't know why he should be. I wipe the mess away as he sniffles, and not an ounce of disgust within me... I love him too much. "Why do you feel that?"

"Just because."

My eyes dart around, looking for any hints underneath. And he does hide something. "I don't know how to answer it. I read that this feeling may be a symptom of certain mental health problems. Do you have one?"

He quickly shakes his head and frowns, seeming to be searching for words. "Imagine if Their Highness and other spirits turn against you."

Odd. He mentions Their Highness. Did he mention it before and I didn't pick it up? Did he pick it up from me? No matter, I'll think about it later. "Why would they?"

"If you did something way past forbidden. If they all go against you, what will you do?"

"...If I'm forbidden to do, which in this case, love a human and keep doing so, I'll try to live on. It will be excruciating since no one will ever get my back. But then, you do. Maybe other humans as well."

"Is it enough?"

"Is it to you?"

"Yes, though Lord handles all decisions."

"Then have faith that They will decide to forgive you."

"It's not easy."

"I've never met Their Highness and most likely never will, but the gifts you received like knowledge, health, and a few friends should be counted as something, right?"

He's calming down, lost in thoughts while I stroke his cheek. "You are talented with words, I must say. Thank you so much, my dear," he chuckles weakly.

"Don't mention it. Should I get rid of the song?"

"Don't. I like the song. I relate to it damn well."

We watch each other, sharing a smile, even after the song ends. Owl hoots and cricket chirps eventually become the next song.

Aht looks ethereal under the moonlight. His handsome, vibrant visage-endearingly, he has a cute button nose and delicate lips. When I watch him more... My head tilts. He has a feminine softness, without a doubt. He'll have men starting wars to win him over if he is ever a woman. Foolishly, I will join wars if it comes to him.

"Aht?"

"Mhm?"

"Can I kiss you? On the lips?"

His brows furrow, utterly confused. Soon, his questioning look replaces it. "Curious?"

"Yes." To be frank, it's a half-truth. I want to make sure first.

"My face is a mess!"

"You're stunning either way."

He laughs in disbelief while watching me in pure adoration. His emotions are worn on the sleeves and everywhere with me. At this rate, I don't need to read his intentions. Heh, if I ever could.

I smirk. "What? It's true."

"Well, kiss me away."

...Flipping flowers. My smirk vanishes. My hand trembles, cupping his cheek as he smiles softly and closes his eyes. I read about dates, kisses, and overall romance in a book in the afternoon earlier. Even though I already memorized kissing tactics, I don't want to ruin this moment.

"It's okay, this is my first time too. Don't worry, Ki."

Whew. Okay. Okay, okay. I move forward slowly... Brushing the slightest touch of his lips against mine.

"Ki..." He whispers on my lips and—! Leans forward.

Goosebumps again, oh Your Highness. More of our lips are in contact. Still hesitant. I'm going to explode! I breathe through my nose, calm myself down, and move my lips. His are moving too. Slowly, ours explore and dance in natural tandem. His soft lashes brushing my cheekbone have drawn my giggle out.

He is so... delicious. Amazing. Everything. I can't get enough of him. I'm in flames.

I no longer deny the feeling of desire coursing through me for these past couple of days. I only wanted to please him, which I didn't mind. Not long after, little things happened to me. The surges of flutter and heat whenever he looked at me in specific ways. I started to wonder about how far his blush goes.

The final straw happened this afternoon. He was sweating like a river and so, he took off his clothes and bathed in the river with my permission. I was unable to look away from him when I should have kept reading my book... He was fucking seducing me without meaning to.

I ogled him. His soaking hair was stuck smoothly on his wet upper body, where his pectorals were big and broad, where his arms and abdomen were defined with lean muscles and a small amount of fat, causing him to look full in robustness. I was hypnotized by a fat bit between his Adonis belt. His powerful, thick legs? To die for. He's wonderfully golden under the noon sun. I had to cross my legs at the time because of... wetness.

Agh! Any restraint in me is useless as I throw my arms around him. His hot breaths clash with mine as we kiss again and again, arousing me deeply. We're enjoying a little more than a mere innocent kiss when I bite his lower lip and his tongue enters my— Ohh Aahht... His hand rips our wreath crowns away to kiss deeper and grab my hair. The other grips my hip.

My hands clutch on his shoulder blades. I don't know what's happening to me. Suggested a kiss for my suspicions of whether I actually have sexual desires for him, seek gratification, or only like the act itself. But my word, I got my answer. It's impossible to imagine this with anyone else.

"Ki..."

"Aht... Aht..."

I pray out his name when he whimpers mine, causing him to stop and pull away. I desperately chase his lips and he gives in, moaning out my naaaame! Mmh I want to-

"Stop!" He yanks away and sits up.

We look at each other wide-eyed, breaths ragged, in a disarrayed state. Chapped lips and messy hair. Our unraveled wreaths be damned. He shuts his eyes and shakes his head. My face is hot. Frankly, my body feels the same.

"Ki, what was that?"

"The kiss?"

"Yes, the kiss!"

"Was it bad, Aht?"

"No!? It's the opposite, can you see this evidence?"

Looking down at his lap. A huge bulge under his pants. Mmm, I want to suck him off. I remember how hard he was, and I can enjoy him for myself too. "Do you want to do it?"

"Ki, what are you up to? I was so lost in you and I don't know what you want."

"Pardon?"

"Are you seducing me for an experiment or pleasing me or...?" He seems lost. Large, darting eyes blink in uncertainty.

I have to reel this in. Carnal desire hit me fast in a day and I went mad over him. Will sort this out and search for the cause. It isn't fair for him while I'm still in confusion myself. "I want to kiss you, Aht."

"Yes, but what happened was we ate each other up."

My giggle erupts because that's a funny phrase, yet so true. He joins in and his deep giggle is enough to make me go crazy. God, I want to nibble his lips, his pecs, his belly, his arms, his thighs— Ease up, Ki. Control. "No kissing too?" I hope not.

"You can!" he answers quickly. "Just not like this."

"Good enough because I like kissing you."

"Goodness, Ki," he groans with resignation, lying next to me again.

I hope I'll make him scream out pretty sounds again in the future. Preferably most with my name. Have to tone down my arousal so my below can stop soaking. "What about your erection?"

"I'm going to think of disgusting things."

I scowl. He should be relieved instead. He deserves pleasure. He deserves bliss. "My lips and tongue will solve your problem."

"Oh God, Ki, please don't."

"Hmph. Fine. What are you thinking about?"

He tells me. They are disgusting to hear, but he makes jokes out of them. Our laughter rings throughout my meadow's midnight. The sexual tension has long gone; that's how good he is at lightening things up.

Out of the blue, he shoots up and drags me to stand. "I almost forgot!" Putting on a new song, he then smashes the messy crowns back on our heads, holds my palms, and sways us both.

"Dance, my dear?"

"You did say you want to learn, Ki." He spins me around.

"I did and"—my right foot trips behind my left leg and he embraces me before I can fall—"I don't know if I'll learn it perfectly. It seems complicated."

Dancing with more nimble moves, he breathes out, "Practice makes perfect. You're a skilled fighter, you showed me enough during dinner. Surely you can dance too."

I laugh and look into his sparkling eyes. "Are you implying every fighter can dance?"

"Not all. They could, and a dancer could fight too," he teases with a naughty smirk.

"Such flawless logic." I roll my eyes.

"I know!"

"How long did it take to come up with this?"

"Took me seven seconds for this masterpiece."

"A long one! What a world record!"

He pinches my rear.