Red made her way into the house. Inside, it was filled with paintings and sculptures of birds smiling, hugging, and in various yoga poses. There were flowers and wind chimes everywhere.
“Oh, look at this!" Red muttered. “This is going to be awful!"
Red wasn't really into the mystical, Zen, hippie lifestyle. Come to think of it, Red didn't know what she was into. She only knew what she wasn't into. Romance, fashion, little kids. Things like that.
“Oh, hi!" came a friendly voice from behind Red. It was a white bird with rosy cheeks and long eyelashes. “Hi there, welcome! To the Infinity Acceptance Group. I am Matilda, and I'm just super psyched to be taking this journey with you! Oh, you're going to have a blast! I'm really fun. Everybody says that about me!"
Matilda led her new student to the next room where three other birds were sitting on the floor in a circle.
“Hey, guys!" Matilda smiled. “Say hello to Red everyone. Hello!"
“Hi, Red!" greeted a big black bird with a smile on his face.
“Hello, birds I won't get to know well," Red replied unenthusiastically.
“Hey, apparently somebody didn't get the memo that we like to start on time, because you're about two minutes late, don't let it happen again. Hi, my name is Chuck, I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot, I like you a lot, I can tell."
Red couldn't believe how fast the yellow bird had just talked!
“Now, Red, would you like to share your story with us?" Matilda asked.
“No, not really," she replied.
“Well, the court mentioned something about a rage episode at a child's birthday party," the chicken recalled.
“How long is this class anyway?"
“As long as you make it," Matilda answered.
“Really? Oh, okay!" Red smiled. “Gentlemen, very nice to see you and to... almost meet you. Probably the nicest part of is not getting to meet you. You know, in some weird way. So, I'm going to go ahead and scoot on back out past those creepy statues and..."
Red didn't get the chance to leave. Matilda just grabbed her shoulders and made her sit in the circle.
“Back you go!" she said in a singsong voice.
“Sure," Red mumbled. “I can take a seat."
“So, in another sense," Matilda informed her, “you are here until I notify the court that your anger issues have been resolved." She broke out in a hysterical laugh.
“Oh boy," Red groaned. This was going to be a long day.
“CHUCK!" Matilda shouted. “Share your story with Red."
“Me?" Chuck began, pointing to his chest. “I am the last guy who should be here. Simple speeding ticket! Judge tells me I was going too fast, so I say, ‘Your Honor, to be honest... I was. You caught me. I'm not angry. I'm honest. So shouldn't I be in honesty management class? Because we got to manage my honesty!'"
Matilda shook her head. “One problem. That's a different story than you told last time."
Turns out the real story was that Chuck was pulled over for speeding, and while waiting for the police bird to write him a ticket, he used his super speed to run to his office and made a mess, then he stole the officer's wallet and used the money to buy drinks, then he climbed a tree and “accidentally" dropped some ice cream on his face.
“Chuck?" Matilda said disapprovingly.
“Okay, maybe it wasn't ice cream," Chuck admitted.
Matilda smiled and moved on to the next bird. “This is Terence!"
Terence was a very, very, very large bird with dark red feathers and a permanent frown on his face. He growled at Red.
“More like Ter-rifying!" Red muttered.
“Now, it says here..." Matilda said, looking through Terence's file. As she read it, her eyes widened. Terence just smiled evilly.
“Terence seems to have had an... um... incident," she muttered, closing the folder. “Now, Bomb started with us two weeks ago. Tell us your story, Bomb."
The black bird sighed. “Okay. Well, sometimes when I get upset, I have been known to, uh... blow up."
“So, like, you get mad, you mean?" Red asked.
“Well, no," Bomb replied. “I literally blow up. I explode, like a bomb. Hence the name."
“In my profession, we call it Intermittent Explosive Disorder," Matilda added. “Or IED for short."
Chuck gasped. “Do it!"
“No can do," Bomb denied. “I just went boom-boom before class."
Red was interested, too. “Hey, look. I don't want to be here at all, but this could maybe make it a little more interesting to me. So, please, explode."
“You can't do it, can you?" Chuck asked, frowning.
“Yes I can," Bomb answered. “But I'm having back issues today, so... gonna have to take a rain check."
“Do it!" Chuck shouted again.
“Not the time or place, little amigo," Bomb said.
“These guys are all nuts, huh, big man?" Red said to Terence, who just glared at her. Red got nervous. “Are we speaking telepathically, or are we just...?"
Terence growled and gave her the death stare.
“Good talk," she said, looking away. “Nice chatting with you."

“Today, we're going to be working on managing our anger through movement," Matilda said. Her four students stood up. “The first pose is the dancer pose."
As Matilda stood on one foot, the rest of the class did the same except for Red and Chuck. Red didn't want to and Chuck just did his own thing.
“Eagle! Heron! Peacock! Warrior! Mountain! Tree! Rabbit! Fish! Locust! King Pigeon! And of course, Downward Duck."
Red noticed Bomb shaking as he did the pose. And that made her worry.
“Excuse me, boring hippie lady?" Red warned Matilda. “Looks like the explode-y guy is gonna puke."
Matilda just ignored her and approached her calmly.
“And have you done this before?" she asked.
“Yes, I have, but usually not for free," Red replied, smirking. Matilda just pulled on her leg and made her do the pose. Red groaned in pain.
“Didn't think so," Matilda said, and dance approached Bomb. “How are we doing over here, Bomb?"
“Doing wonderful!" Bomb gasped. “Stretching out the core!"
“Just remember to breathe," Matilda advised. “Up through your feathers and from your talons... Namaste."
Suddenly, Bomb's eyes nearly popped out of his skull.
“Bomb?"
BOOM!
Bomb exploded and nearly destroyed Matilda's house!
Chuck coughed. “Nice!"

Question. If Red was a girl, what do you think she would be into?

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