The sickness in my heart gets even worse when I lay my eyes on Jungkook's figure. He's with Shadow, teaching the little boy how to grip a knife properly. Even though it's not a normal brother to brother time, it's Jungkook's way having quality time with Shadow, and the two boys both treasured it.

Oh gosh, what am I going to tell him when he sees me?

Thankfully, I quickly retreat back into the shadows without him seeing me. Jungkook can read me like a book— if he saw me right now, I am one hundred percent certain that he will know something is wrong. Dull just wasn't the word to describe any part of him, including his superhuman instincts. And it seemed like when it came to me, he seemed to be able to know everything.

The only solution I could come up with was either to avoid him, or wear a mask over my face for the rest of my life. Both options sounded immensely unappealing, but it needed to be done.

Unless I wanted either my best friend or the cute younger brother I'd never had before to die.

The thought makes me gag, and a wave of dizziness and nausea washes over me. And I don't think that it's caused by the blood loss.

Trying to take deep breaths, I lean against the wall. My future seems dark. Frustrating. One wrong move, and I can send lives plummeting to their ends. Their futures depended on my actions, and the responsibility was too great for me to handle.

What if I messed up? What if I made a mistake?

Quivering, I decide to skip the meal. Even though I know that if I don't show, Jungkook will suspect something  is up— I couldn't bear to even force a smile after what had happened earlier. It made me too on edge, too sick and revolted.

I couldn't deal with this right now. All I wanted was to lock myself in my room for eternity, unable to look or speak to anyone. At least that way, it was guaranteed that I wouldn't screw anything up, like I always did.

Suddenly, a sharp rap echoes against my door, making my mouth go dry with tension.

"Lyr?"

Lord save me.

It's Jungkook.

"Lyr. Open the door. Why is it locked?" At his tentative question, I wince silently. Maybe if I stayed perfectly silent, then maybe he'd think that I'm sleeping. Maybe he'd leave me alone after that.

I can only hear the furious clicking of the doorknob for a few seconds before the noise suddenly stops.

Did he give up?

But after getting to know him for so long, I should've known better. A moment of tensed silence occurs before Jungkook announces from the other side of the door.

"If you're not going to open the door, fine. And don't pretend you're asleep— I can hear you gasping from all the way here." When he says that, I immediately clap my hand over my lips to cut off the involuntary sound I'd been making.

"Like I said. If you won't open it yourself," Another angry shake of the doorknob I'm starting to feel a bit sorry for.

"I'll break this door down myself."

Oh Lord.

"Okay!" I squeak out frantically as I jump down from my bed, hurrying for the door. "Please don't break it down— I'm coming!"

Quickly, I fumble to unlock the door and fling it wide open, revealing a very annoyed Jungkook. His expression is usually near impossible to read, but right now, his confusion and annoyance is literally written all over his face. Not to mention that his hand is firmly set against the door to keep me from closing it again.

I was actually dead. What was I going to say?

"What's wrong?" He demands, clearly using his authoritative tone. You know, the one that would make a wild, untamed lion bow down at his feet in an instant. "You never skip a meal, Lyr. This is the first time you ever did."

When my eyes meet his, the urge to spill everything gets so strong I nearly do. But if I do, then I am selfish. If I do, I'm throwing Shadow and Leah to that psychotic bastard that undoubtedly meant what he'd said. He will carry out his threats without hesitation if I even say a word about him and last night. He will put the ones I love at risk— he will hurt them, and possibly kill them.

So I can't. No matter how much I want to, I just can't.

"I was feeling dizzy," I say, making my voice sound exhausted and drained. "And I felt too sick to even put anything in my mouth."

Well, at least that part was true.

He fixes a firm gaze at me for a few heartstopping seconds, examining my face intently. As he does, the expression on his face slowly shifts more into suspicion, not the agreement that I'd hoped for.

Of course. He's Jungkook, what do you expect?

So I do the most convincing thing I can do at the moment.

"Lyr!" The uncertainty in his eyes turns instantly into concern as I tilt to the side, my eyes kept carefully blank and empty. His arms curl around me protectively before I hit the ground, lifting me up with sheer strength.

It worked.

"Sorry," I squeak timidly, just in case he got suspicious again. "I'm fine. I'm just..."

Guilt and shame twists like snakes inside my heart as I shamelessly lie to the very person that I'd promised myself to never deceive. And he'd been nothing but loving and kind to me, even though there had been a few rough bumps in the beginning.

"No," he says firmly, all traces of suspicion in his voice totally gone. "You better rest— you're not going to walk around as long as I can help it."

I feel like crying my lifetime supply of tears out as he wraps the covers around my body, his hands gentle like he was taking care of a baby instead of a 17 year old girl.

That is, a seventeen year old girl that didn't deserve him.

As he bends down to smooth my hair, I throw my arms around his neck. Like a spring breeze, my lips lightly touch his. His lips are soft and warm, and I struggle to try not to lose myself too much in his overwhelming pull as I try to capture this magical moment in my memory.

If only this could last forever.

But it couldn't. Deep in regret, I break the kiss just after a second I'd initiated it. I'm certain my cheeks are painted the color of sunrise, and I hope that will cover up the waves and waves of pure sorrow that's filling my eyes.

But Jungkook saves me from that deep, dark pit, capturing my lips with his again.

His intoxicating scent fills my nose, and I breathe it in hungrily. This might be the last time I got to feel him this way. This really might be.

But who cares?

I throw myself into the depth of his blue, sparkling sea as I feel the silky strands of his hair against my fingers. Meanwhile, I can feel him reflecting my actions, his own hands lodged tightly inside my dark locks.

He makes me forget what I'd been thinking about a moment ago, and I don't think I want to remember.

When he finally pulls away, I mentally let out a whining groan of protest. Why do things so beautiful pass by so quickly, like the brush of wind against my fingertips? It wasn't fair, how they always lasted a blink of an eye.

Jungkook gives me a dazzling smile that makes me forget how to breathe, planting a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Sweet dreams, princess." Like I'd always done to him and he'd always done to me, he softly brushes two of his fingers against my eyelids.

When I hear the sound of the door closing behind him, reality hits me like a speeding train. A strangled sound escapes my lips as I press the blankets to my tearing eyes. I can't believe that I just lied to him. I can't believe that I just did that.

Think about Shadow. About Leah. It's for them. For them, and for them only.

I'm sorry, Jungkook.