Tan’s grip on Cole’s hand was quite tight. Not painful or anything, but it was obvious that Tan was tense.
Cole glanced at him and saw Tan staring ahead with a blank expression.
“I guess that was the guy you didn’t want to meet?” he asked gently.
Tan took a deep breath and seemed to snap out of his tense state.
“Yeah…”
“Want to talk about it?”
“Not really… Maybe later…”
Cole nodded and walked silently beside Tan through the alley.

They almost reached the docks before Tan seemed to realize he was still holding Cole’s hand.
“Oh. Sorry.”
He quickly let go and gave Cole an apologetic look.
“It’s all right. Jock might have walked behind us or something.”
“Yeah… I’m truly grateful for what you did. Thank you.”
“No problem. He seemed a bit full of himself.”
“Yeah. You have no idea…”
Tan sighed.
“So, we’re heading back to the Valkyrie then?”
Tan nodded.
“Unless you want to do something?” he quickly added.
Cole shook his head.
“Not really. I’m fine with leaving now. Honestly, I get a bit nervous with all the people, considering I’m sort of on the run.”
Tan gave him a short smile and a nod.
“Sure. Let’s go home.”
A smile lingered as he followed Tan through the crowd on the pier.

Track got a slightly worried expression when they reached the gangplank. Sitting on the gunwale, he striated his back as they got on to the ship.
“Everything all right?” he asked.
“Yeah. Cole and I can keep an eye on the ship if you want to head in to town.”
Track eyed Tan for a bit before shrugging.
“I don’t really have any business here. I assume we’re not staying the night?”
“No. When everyone’s got what they need, we’ll leave.”
“Where to?”
Tan seemed to give it some thought.
“Eldow. We shall sail around Caleum and do a few stops in their harbors’.”
“All right. I’ll keep an eye out for the others.”
Track turned his gaze to the crowd on the docks, while Tan continued towards his cabin.

Cole were about to follow Tan when Track gently stopped him with a hand on his arm.
“Did you run in to someone?” He almost whispered.
Cole gave him a nod.
“Someone named Jock”, he answered in the same quiet voice.
Track frowned for a moment before he gave Cole a nod.
“Thanks”, he mumbled and turned his gaze back to the pier.
Cole hurried to catch up to Tan.

Cole closed the door behind him and looked at Tan. Tan was leaning over the map on the desk for a moment before he gave Cole a look. After a sigh, he turned around and sat on the edge of his desk.
“I guess I should tell you about Jock. It wouldn’t be fair to have you tell me your secret and then not tell you mine.”
Cole shrugged.
“I’m not forcing you to. It’s all up to you.”
Tan sighed and crossed his arms with an uncomfortable look.
“If I tell you about Jock, I’ll have to begin from the start.”

Cole stood silent and let Tan find his words at his own pace.
“For starters… My mom is a mermaid.”
Cole raised his eyebrows.
“I didn’t think mermaids had kids with the Taur people?”
“Well. Not really. My dad saved my mom’s life. She was stuck in a water pool on land after a storm and he carried her to the sea. I guess she was quite grateful for it… However, the thing with bulls’ is that they always have kids of the same gender. Some bulls only have daughters and some only have sons. My dad only has sons, but mermaids only have daughters. This made me a weird mix when it came to my gender. My dad found me on the deck one morning. My mom hand left me there since I obviously don’t have fins. A life in the water would not have been pleasant for me, but my dad was happy to have me… The thing is that they thought I was a girl for a long time, before the rest of my body started to take another shape, if you know what I mean?”
It took a moment for Cole to process the last sentence, but eventually, he got the hint.
“Oh… So you’re… both?”
“Well… Yeah… Most of me are male and I see myself as a bull, but let’s say that not all would agree on that. I’m lacking the part that some would say is the most male part, and I have the female version instead.”
Cole nodded slowly.
“Right… And Jock’s part in that?”
Tan sighed and shifted his position on the desk.
“Well… Jock used to work for my dad. He is one of few that know about my mixed gender. He got his own ship some years before I got mine and we bumped in to each other in Powil. He gave me some compliments and started flirting. Having the unusual quirks that I have, I haven’t really been dating a lot… or at all… I was of course curious and, to be honest, a bit lonely. It seemed like an opportunity to find out what all that was about. Jock is not really a mean bull and I trusted him enough to let him come over for the night.”
Tan interrupted himself and moved his shoulders as if something were crawling up his back.
“Was he ruff?”
Tan shook his head, but interrupted that to nod instead.
“Well. Yeah, but not like, you know… He wasn’t mean or caused any pain or anything like that… He just likes to talk… a lot…”
Tan’s cheeks got a warm blush as he looked really uncomfortable.
Cole walked over to the desk to sit next to Tan, knowing full well that a sensitive subject got less difficult if the person listening didn’t stare directly at the person talking.
“Was he loud or just embarrassing?” he asked, hoping to encourage Tan to continue.
“Humiliating… He knew what he was doing, so I can’t say the physicality of it was bad, but apparently I made some… noises, and he was very quick to gloat. Can’t say that talking dirty is something for me…” Tan paused and folded his arms more tightly, “It was mostly things like pointing out what I seemed to like and sort of putting a storyteller’s voice on it…”
“You don’t have to continue if you don’t want to.”
Tan sighed and nodded.
“That’s not the worst part though…”
Cole glanced at him.
“About a year later, I did it again”, Tan continued.
“Why?”
Tan shrugged.
“I haven’t really told that many about my physicality. My options on getting company for a night is slim and I convinced myself it wouldn’t be so bad if I explained to him that I wanted him to skip the talk. The rest was fine. I just didn’t like his dirty rambling.”
“And?”
Tan looked even more uncomfortable.
“He was worse… The fact that I, in his eyes, had come back for more made him extremely cocky and he made sure to gloat in it… I could barely look at myself in the mirror the next day…”
Tan’s voice got a weak tone.
The tug in Cole’s heart felt different from the previous he had. He couldn’t even imagine sleeping with someone that constantly rambled humiliating point outs and narrated the whole experience.

“Well, I’m glad I could help you avoid him this time.”
He glanced at Tan.
Tan met his gaze and gave him a soft smile.
“Yeah. I’m deepley grateful.”
Cole got up from the desk with a sigh.
“I could give you a hug if it made you feel better, but I don’t know if you would want any physical contact considering what we just talked about.”
Tan raised his eyebrows while something seemed to glimmer in his eyes.
“I… I wouldn’t mind a hug. It might give me something else to think about besides the memories of Jock.”
Cole held his hands out.
“You’ll have to get up from the desk then.”
Tan stood up and Cole took a step closer. Lifting one arm and lowering the other, Tan mirrored his movement and they put their arms around each other. It got a little awkward when he needed to avoid Tan’s horn, but tilting his head, he could aim his chin against Tan’s neck. The horn was right above his cheek, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable. Tan seemed to realize the inconvenience and tilted his head a bit.

The awkwardness faded rather quickly. Seconds later, it was like they were melting in to each other’s embrace. Tan placed his arms more tightly around Cole and carefully leaned his chin against Cole’s shoulder.

The warmth from Tan seemed to send a wave of warmth through Cole’s chest. Tan’s body was firm and soft at the same time. He had an earthy-green, almost woody sent that reminded Cole of when the sun had warmed up the wooden walls of the Foley in the garden at home. Tan’s body-heat also reminded him of the sun-warmed divan he would crawl in to and hide under the blankets when he wanted to escape the world for a bit. It had always been his safe space of comfort. To his surprise, Tan’s embrace felt even more comforting.

After a moment that felt long, but still too short, they released each other and took a step back.
“I hope it helped?” Cole asked.
Tan gave him a crooked smile.
“It definitely did.”
Cole gave him a nod.
“Shall we see if the others are back so we can leave?”
Tan nodded.
“Yeah. Would you come and stand with me at the wheel?”
“Sure.”
Tan gave him a wider smile before taking the lead to the door.
Cole noticed the flutter in his chest when the memory of the hug played in his mind. He would probably fall asleep hugging his pillow that night.

Track gave them a look when they took their place at the wheel. Tan gave him a nod, and he got to work with Vu and Ezur.
Cole kept his eye on them as Track and Vu climbed the mast. He had not really thought about it before, but they set the sails simply by placing their hands on the boom. The sail unfolded instantly before they moved on to the next sail.
“Do you use magic to set sails?” Cole asked as he watched the two Taurs’ swing to the foremast.
“Yes. To prep your ship with magic is expensive, but you set and lower the sails fast and easy. And I only need two people to climb the masts.”
“So that’s why you could sail such a large ship with only three people?”
Tan nodded.
“Yes. There are crystal plates on the booms that you simply place your hand on to maneuver the sails. I asked my dad to get it for me since I wanted a smaller crew, even if it is a medium ship.”
“The Valkyrie is a Storm-brig, right?”
“Yes,” Tan lifted his arm and pointed to a smaller vessel close to them, “The smallest once are called Nymphs. The bigger model after that is a Navigator. Then we have Breezer, Wind-ketch and Storm-brigs. The size bigger than the Valkyrie is a Grater, after that we have the Soulstorms, Starfire and the biggest ship you can have is a World-carrier.”
Cole looked at a massive ship coming in from the sea. He could definitely understand the name. The thing seemed to be able to store a small city inside the hull.
“I’ll try to remember the names of the models.”
Tan gave him a smile.
“I could explain the differences’, but I think we should take it in small steps.”
“Sounds good.”
Tan glanced at him.
“Want to steer the ship?”
“Here?”
“Yeah. I can stand behind you and hold the wheel too. I’m not gonna leave you here. Promise.”
Tan held out his arm and invited Cole to step closer.
He got close to the wheel and Tan grabbed the wheel with both hands with Cole in the middle. The warmth of Tans chest spread over his back while the soft breeze swept over them. The feeling was almost surreal. He could feel the flutter in his chest return with the illusion of flying over the water.