In the morning, when I open my eyes, I'm not on the couch, not snuggled up against Adrian's warmth. I'm in my bed, wrapped in my fluffy blanket. The sun is high up in the sky and streaming through the gaps of my window drapes.

As my brain slowly resumes functioning and my braids come undone, a pang of loneliness hits me with the thought that Adrian might've left while I was asleep. I move only my gaze, following the length of my room. The desk looks clean, and books are back on the bookcase beside it.

Did he arrange my room? Thank God! My dirty laundry was in the hamper.

I can hear Olivia's faint voice in the hall, but I take my sweet time getting out of bed. I showered and dressed in my yoga pants and a tank top before heading out. The smell of freshly cooked pancakes and coffee fills my nostrils as I roll into the kitchen. When I inch closer, I find Olivia sitting on the island cross-legged in her pajamas with a plate of pancakes and eyes locked at the front. There's an empty mug waiting for me, along with a pile of pancakes.

"When did you return last night?" I ask her, filling myself a creamy cup of coffee.

"When you were cuddling with that hunk over there. Why didn't you tell me Adrian's here?" She nudges her head towards the person in question. "Imagine waking up to that."

I follow her gaze and almost choke on my coffee. Adrian's still here doing sit-ups at the empty corner of our living room. He never misses an early morning exercise. Watching his biceps bulge and his abs crunch with each lift has me transfixed. I take in the neatly folded sheet and a pillow on the couch as I set the coffee on the counter, fixing myself with a plate of pancakes.

He slept on the couch then, after tucking me in my bed.

"Do you think he can pull those off with a hundred pounds on his back?" Liv has a playful glint in her doe eyes and a smirk on her lips.

I fail to look away from Adrian as he switches to the push-up position, elbows bent, face down. He releases low grunts with each dip and rise. My eyes trace a path of those deeply cut pecs slick with sweat and flexing through each of his movements.

"Since you're too dazed off to respond, I might have to try that out with him. I don't think Adrian would refuse me." I hear a sigh from her as she jumps off the island and winks at me, then makes her way towards Adrian. A sudden image of her sitting on Adrian's back flashes in my head, and I beat her to it.

In less than two seconds, I am hovering over Adrian, making him pause on his elbows. He shoots me a surprised look, panting a little with exertion. In another two seconds, his green eyes read what's going on in my mind, and he isn't taken by surprise when I hop on his back, cross-legged, facing his head. Olivia clicks her tongue and shakes her head as I gaze at her over my shoulder. She mouths a "Fuck you" before storming towards her room. When I shift my gaze colliding with his, I feel like a deer in the headlights as he cocks a brow at me, still maintaining his push-up position.

"Good morning to you too, V." He exhales and starts to dip and rise methodically. I place my palms on the ridges of his back as he counts each lift. I relish the feel of his muscles flexing, and the low grunts escaping from his throat adds to my pleasure.

"Are you doing fine there with a hundred and twenty pounds on your back?" I chuckle as his body shakes a little after the fifteenth lift. "You can always quit, you know."

"Hundred and twenty pounds or more like ninety?" He presses out a lift with a breathless grunt and collapses with me on his back. "You've lost weight since you stopped eating all that sugar you used to love."

"Is that the reason you added pancakes on my menu?" I push off his back and lay beside him on the floor. I avoid looking into his accusing eyes and brush away the brown hair sticking to his forehead. He lets me until I snap out of my daze and look at my fingers, which were touching his sweaty hair to his adorning eyes.

"Blueberry pancakes are your favorite," he inches towards me, pulling on my half undone braids, the one he made last night, and undoing them gently. He's crowding me with the musky smell of sweat and his unique scent, which lingered on me until I showered. "At least they were your favorite."

His words tug at my heart. It feels like a lifetime since I ate anything that reminded me of you or the moments we spent together, Augustus. Your existence is as sweet as my sugar rush, and now that you're not here, everything that once tasted sweet leaves a bitter taste on my tongue.

Except, the blueberry pancakes made by Adrian might be the sweetest.

"They're still my favorite, Adri." I stare up at him, getting lost in his forest-green eyes.

"But you still hate sweaty athletes, don't you?" He lifts his head and grins, mischief dancing in his eyes. Before I get the chance to capture his words, he shakes his messy brown hair, and drops of his sweat fall on my face, making me shove him away with a shriek. For the next few minutes, we wrestle like crazy as he runs his slick skin all over my freshly showered skin, and I try my best to defeat his attempts, of course failing miserably.

Adrian leaves shortly after, turning us into sweaty worn-out kids and making sure I eat the pancakes.

***

I set my laptop on the trunk, cringing at the blaring bass thumping through my bone marrow. Olivia is swaying her hips to the loud and violent lyrics of punk music. Her long black hair falls on her face as she throws her head to the front and back, following the rhythm of the thrashing music.

She's supposed to help me with the Multimedia assignment instead of wrecking my nerves with her insane selection of songs. Sometimes her choice of music and lifestyle reminds me of Daisy, the better version of me, my little sister. I lean back on the couch as my mind drifts back home.

I gaze at my phone on the trunk lying amongst the empty Pizza boxes and cans of coke. My father must have returned from his MRI test about an hour ago. But there's no call or text from my mother. The anxiety has started creeping underneath my skin, expecting all sorts of heartbreaking possibilities. I'm scared to call and check on my dad's test results myself.

"You're not helping, Vio." The volume of the music is suddenly turned down, and Olivia is glaring at me with her hands on her hips. "You're supposed to teach me one of those sensual hip movements they do in the club. We're going to a nightclub after the upcoming soccer game and Noah has asked me to go dancing with him."

She huffs and she walks up to me. "You know I've zero sense of any dance forms, especially the sensual ones, and that's the exact kind I want with him."

"And you were supposed to help me with my assignment." I roll my eyes dryly, making a place for her legs as she sprawls on the other end of the couch. She leaves the rock music on as it vibrates through the floorboard under my feet. At least, it's turned down to the minimum volume. "Besides, you were acing those moves the other night at the party."

"I was shit-faced." She groans, rubbing her face. "I want to dance with Noah, properly, not under the influence of any liquid courage."

"As if you can resist being drunk. You're going to a nightclub, not a church. The smell lingers in the air, and you've zero self-control when it comes to alcohol. I think we've settled that." I laugh at her, momentarily glancing at my phone. No calls. No texts.

"Not this time. I'm not ruining my time with Noah this time." She pulls her sweaty hair up in a messy bun and grumbles.

A grin appears on my face as I capture her caught red-handed expression. "So, you and Noah are a thing now?"

She grabs a cushion and throws it on my face, followed by her face falling in my lap. "We're not a thing. And I'm afraid Noah might think I'm gross after I puked all over his shirt last night. I'm not embarrassing myself anymore in front of him."

I play with a strand of her hair falling loose on her face and try to forget the memory of Adrian braiding my hair on the same couch. I can't stop the butterflies waltzing inside my belly that I feel whenever I think about our moments. They're no more like the ones we used to have when we were teenagers. These moments are intense on a level I've never experienced.

"I'm sorry, Vio. I shouldn't have encouraged you to date, Liam." Olivia twists in my lap to look up at me with a soft apologetical smile. "Why do I always have a crush on asshole guys? I wish he gets expelled from the team for his non-consensual behavior towards girls. But I'm happy that his actions brought you and Adrian closer."

"Me too, Liv. I'm happy to have our friendship back." A ghost of a smile appeared on my lips as my mind drifts to the friendly kiss we shared. I shouldn't think about that kiss. Erase that moment and move forward before it claws my heart. But the sensation it created pulls me back at that moment, tingling my skin and accelerating my breaths.

Olivia narrows her brow as I focus my mind back to the present and clear my throat. "You sure about that friendship, Vio? The way you both were tangled up against each other in this exact spot last night sure tells a different story." She pauses to squeeze my hand and peer into my eyes. "Is it just friendship, though?"

I glare at her ridiculous ways of bulldozing into my chaotic brain and wreaking havoc on my messy heartstrings. "We're friends, Liv, like forever and always."

Olivia shakes her head, shifting her gaze to the ceiling before saying, "This thing between you and Adrian, it's the rarest one. Try not to ruin it anytime soon."

The light thumping of the latest rock number reaches a crescendo, creating a train of confusing thoughts and ideas in my hazed-up mind. I feel overwhelmed with so many emotions, shifting between so many time frames. From past to present, and to a future, that's equally uncertain like my feelings.

"This thing between us," I rest my head on the armrest of the couch, releasing an exasperated breath as I feel Adrian's soothing touch embracing me, pushing away all the anxiety from my system. "I will always protect."

***

I'm still thinking about my father's test results when I curl up in my bed late at night. It seems like both my mom and I are trying to avoid the same thing- breaking down in front of my dad. She never speaks about his health condition, and I eliminate it from our conversation when he's around.

I flick through Netflix as a distraction from my ugly thoughts when a single text pops up. When another two follows, I exit from the app and open the messages.

Adri: Those dark circles under your eyes, I hate them. They look kind of sad on your happy face.

Adri: I'm always here, V. You don't have to be lonely. We could be sad together.

A small smile forms up on my lips as I read his words again and again. Yes, we could be sad together. That's what we always do. We stick by each other, and if that's not worth saving, then what is.

The last message is from my mom, which I open with a hand over my thudding heart. The whole universe stands still as I hold my breath and read her text.

Mom: Everything is going to be okay. Your dad is going to be fine, and I'll not lose him. We'll not lose him. You'll see.

I can hear a sob somewhere inside my heart as I send a quick response to my mother.

Me: We'll not lose him, mom.

Then I go back to Adrian's last message and read it once again.

I've been alone, agonizingly lonely in the solitude of loss and hurt. But I'm growing out of it each day, slowly and gradually. And maybe, instead of talking to the ghost of your memories, Dear Augustus, I need Adrian's comfort, his warmth, and his togetherness.

***

Author's Note: I'm so sorry for the late update. It's a short chapter, but I wanted to write about Violet's mental state, and I promise to bring more of Adrian in the upcoming chapters. Thanks for being patient and supportive.

Do you think Violet should lean on Adrian's comfort?