Dear Daytona,

Today is July 25th, 2015.

It has been 6 days since you broke up with me. I never knew that 6 days could feel so long, or feel so painful. I never knew that 6 days could bring on so many changes and feelings. Given everything I've been through, you would think that I would know that some days are so much longer than others, even when there is always 24 hours in a day, but I haven't completely learned that. I've missed you so much, but I don't want to push you to love me, even if it kills me that you don't love me anymore. The universe never made a law or left any sort of code warning us, youngsters, that love is sometimes a dangerous thing, especially if you're new to it. Nevertheless, I am so thankful for every single moment we had. I am so thankful to meet you and have you be a part of my life. I pray every day that you would continue to be a part of it.

Anyway, today I woke up really early. 5 AM. I have no idea why my body has been waking me up so early every day, but it's sort of painful waking up and being reminded of how we are no longer together. I got out of bed, did my morning routine, and packed some things into my backpack: A bible, a journal, a pen, and my iPad. I rode my bike until I reached this quiet place by a cornfield, in the middle of nowhere. It was really nice, but even with all the distractions, I somehow thought of you. The thought of you is so prevalent in my mind, even now. We didn't talk today. I was waiting for a morning message from you, but I never got one. I guess I am no longer what you think of when you wake up, or before you go to bed, so you won't message me good morning or good night anymore. Two words can display a multitude of other meanings. Simple messages, and simple words, can do so much as to showing that someone cares. Thank you for caring when we were together.

Right now, I just got back from the movie theater. I watched Paper Towns. Still no message from you. I'm sitting here typing this with my window opened, the breeze coming through, and the sun is shining. This type of day usually brings me tranquility, but I have a storm boiling in me. It's like that sometimes, your emotions just keep getting bundled up. All the distractions cover them up, and then suddenly, they just burst out just like summer days that start out sunny and end with a thunderstorm. I'm listening to some dude named Jamie Lawson singing Last Night Stars, and I don't know why, but it makes me think of you. I know you're not the type of guy to listen to melancholic songs, but maybe listen to the song once. I received the earrings that you bought for me in the mail today. My foster mom saw it, and asked me about it. I opened it in front of her because she wanted to know what it was. I told her they were from you, and she thought the earrings were very pretty. I adore the earrings as well, but I know you bought them for me before we broke up, so they don't hold the same meaning anymore.  I nearly burst out crying, even with my foster mom standing in front of me. I hate that. I hate crying in front of people. It makes me look so weak; it sends a message that says that I am vulnerable to being hurt. In the end, we all get hurt. What matters is if the hurt is worth it or not. I like to believe that the hurt is worth it if it's from you, because I love you. I just want you to know a few things.

First, thank you for our memories, experiences, and giving me pieces of yourself that you have never given anyone before. Secondly, I'm sorry that I let my personal problems and battles get in the way of our relationship and I'm sorry I inflicted my own hurt and pain upon you. I am really sorry. Maybe sorry doesn't exactly piece all the broken pieces together, but at least it gives some sort of hope and healing. I know you tried your best to care for me, console me, and make me happy, and thank you for that too. Thanks for listening when no one else was there to listen to me, thanks for loving me when I kept pushing everyone away, and thank you for everything. EVERYTHING.

I also want you to know that I will pray for you everyday, I really do mean that. Even if you move on, even if you no longer think of me, I will pray for you. Daytona Pinkley, another person in this world, looking for somewhere to go, I will pray for you. I don't think you're fully aware of what a beautiful person you are. On the outside, you are handsome, but that is merely a shell of your gorgeous, fragile, and unique soul. Please remember that you are smarter than you think. You are musically talented, good at football, strong, loving, caring, full of intellect and funny at times too; this is true because I never say words just to flatter. If things get hard, remember that I will always be here for you if you need me. If that doesn't work, remember that you have a beautiful future ahead of you. I know it's far ahead, but maybe Juilliard will be a good college for you. It is a school for performing arts and musically gifted people. Dont' ever let anyone make you believe that you are not beautiful or worth it. Think of it this way, when you walk into an art museum, what do you see? A lot of artwork by various artists. They are all beautiful and unique in their own way. Humans are like this. Each of us have our differences, but we are all beautiful. You are beautiful. You are unique. You are loved. Maybe other people may not realize how amazing you are, but I hope you know that I see you as this boy who is full of potential, has a bright future, and is someone who is so beautiful. I will always love you.

I really hope you will have a good life and I wish with all of me, that your good life will consist of me being in it. I still have hope that maybe one day, we will get married and have that beautiful future we made for ourselves : a big happy family. If not, I still wish you the best. Thank you for everything.

I really do love you.

Yours truly,

Paisley

P.S.: I'm sorry if this letter was hard to understand. I had a hard time getting all my thoughts out. It was kind of a big jumbled messed and I didn't know how to say what I wanted to say. I just knew that saying something was better than saying nothing.