Dear Depression,

No one can truly understand this twisted romance we are entangled in. A sick poly marriage we have with the ones you convinced me would protect me. You are no demon like my mother claims, nor are you a proof of my strength that my father has implied. My brother, try as he might, has ended up harming our relationship in an attempt to understand us. I have grown so attached to you, I must have you near to feel at peace. Your harsh words and cold touch make my heart at ease; because I know that there is only one of you that belongs entirely to me. MY version of you, where you will only infect MY thoughts alone. I have fallen in love with the thought of you but I cannot tell you, because then you might leave me. I don't want you to go, but every day you hurt me. I can deal with it, I know everything you do is out of love.

It makes me sick when my family crowd around me, aware of the things you whisper in my ear when they are not around. Everything I do, every tear and whale for your return when you leave me is another reason to trap me in the psychological bubble they have made for me. They could never understand our love. They may beg and plead with me all they want, but I know these cuts and bruises I wake up with. These tears that fall from my eyes when you suffocate me with your burning hands, wrapping them around my neck and telling me I deserve this. It is all out of affection. It is all because you want the best for me.

It brings me no greater joy than when you pull me close and bite at my skin, leaving behind the scars of our love. As I watch the blood trickle down my wrists and legs after you have finished ravishing me and left me to bleed out on the floor, I thank whatever being bestowed upon me, your grace. I can never get enough of you, you're like a drug. So simple yet complex, I am addicted to the melancholic feeling of your kiss. I don't care if one day you drowned me in the tears of those I've hurt, because I don't need oxygen to know you are near. No, I wouldn't mind at all.

Your lover & host,

D. Pond