1/29/16

Dear diary,

I gotten a C in that psych exam, despite how much I prepared for it.

I've been too distracted in class.

I couldn't even eat as much as I wanted to. My stomach keeps feeling queasy. 

Jongdae knows at this point that there's something bothering me. He's been trying so hard to make me smile the past few days... but it's honestly not working. Because every time I look at him, I remember everyone that didn't want this relationship to happen. 

And now that my grades are suffering from this... 

I don't know.

I don't fucking know what to do.

My heart hurts thinking about this. I can't let my grades slip. I need that scholarship for me to stay in school... if I don't have it, then that will hurt my family. I'm already a burden. Me getting good grades is the only thing keeping me in my desired major. I can't fuck this up.

Fuck.

I want it to stop.

Why can't people just leave me alone?