30th January, 2020

'Day 400.

I've been counting days after you left and after making me wait for so long, now you've finally returned.

If I were to express my joy in words then I don't think I would have appropriate words to do so. You're finally back, but I don't own a place in your life, do I?'

A lone tear escaped Eram's eye and fell on the diary she was writing in and smudged the ink.

'All these days that I waited for you felt long but now I feel that the gap in our relationship has gotten much longer. I question my ability to fill that gap and pull you to me. Will I be able to do that? Am I capable? I wonder.

I wonder how you were doing all these days and finally seeing you with my own eyes, I feel at peace. You haven't been taking care of yourself, I can say that but thank you for enduring it all and keep on moving ahead. How much ever sorry I say, I know I can't lessen your pain and end your suffering but I will try. I know I've put you through that pain which was hard for you to endure, but still with a smile on your face you kept going. How am I suppose to earn your forgiveness for that?

You've been nothing but a blessing in my life and I've been nothing but pain in yours. Still, for accepting me in your Nikkah, I'm thankful to you for that.

I was broken and I ended u breaking you walking in your life. You mended my wounded heart and now it's my turn to mend yours.

I will keep taking steps towards you until you stop taking steps back and hold my extended hand. Accept me back in your life Shumail. I beg you.'

Eram let out a sob and unable to write down more, she closed her diary placing the pen in between the pages, and placed it beside her on the bed. A lump was formed in her throat and everything kept coming back to her making her cry even more. Her shoulders shook as she cried and she covered her mouth with her left hand so as not to let anyone hear her sobs. Her tears were freely flowing down her cheeks as she cried.

It was in the evening of the next day of her discharge that she found herself seated on the bed in Shumail's room, writing down in her diary and recalling past events. She felt foreign being back in that room again, but was thankful for Zain being with them that she was abe to stay in Shumail's room with him, or else she knew better that Shumail wouldn't have let her otherwise. Being in the same room still didn't change anything though. Shumail had slept on the couch the previous night and had refused to look her way but at least having him near, she felt that was enough for her.

"I really wish to have met you in different circumstances. If we were to meet then why must it have to be this way!" She said in between her tears. She was crying on her misery, continuously making dua to her Rabb to forgive her and help her in winning back Shumail's trust. She desperately wanted Shumail to forgive her. "Things wouldn't have been this way if we would've met in different circumstances."

Just then, she heard footsteps outside the room door and she immediately wiped away her tears and pushed back her hairs. Sliding her diary under her pillow, she made sure to hide it before she looked towards the door which opened to reveal Shumail. With a navy blue T-shirt on, that was a size bigger for him and the full sleeves covering the whole of his hands with just his fingers visible, Shumail had paired it with a loose black coloured track pant, which was complimenting his complexion really well. He had round reading glasses on and his hairs were perfectly combed to a side with a strand or two falling on his forehead. Even in his night attire, he managed to look good, and Eram couldn't deny it. She was brought out of her trance when for a brief moment his eyes looked in her direction. Her lips curled up in a smile instantly on accord and she looked at him with a soft look in her eyes.

She didn't receive the same smile in return though. Shumail surely looked in her way but in a blink of an eye, he had shifted his gaze away from her and looked the other way. She thought he would say something but without a word, he had walked to his study and closed the door behind him. The smile from her face vanished seeing Shumail's distant behaviour again and except for feeling hurt, she couldn't do anything else.

Shumail walked out of the study a few minutes later and was holding a few files in his hands. She kept looking at him in the hope that he would look her way and talk to her but without sparing her a glance, he began to walk out. Eram panicked that he would be gone and she would lose the chance again.

"Hi." Eram spoke, without a thought. He stopped in his tracks but didn't turn around.

"I suppose we're not on the terms where we can greet each other with a 'Hi' so casually? I would prefer it if you don't." Shumail said looking at his shoulder.

"I know." Eram was quick to speak, and that made him stop again from walking away. "I..I need your help." She lied to stop him from walking away.

"I'll send the nurse." Shumail said, referring to the nurse he had appointed for her and with that said, he walked out. Eram couldn't say anything else, before she could even stop him again he was already gone. She looked at the closed door and turned her gaze away.

For the next two days, Eram only saw Shumail at night when he would come in the room to sleep but he still refused to talk, let alone meet eyes with her or look in her way, and in the morning, he would be gone to office before she even woke up. He wasn't even having food at home so it was only Zain and Eram who ate together.

It was the third day that Eram hadn't see him in the morning and she was waiting for his return from the office, so that she could have a proper glance at him. She was determined to make him talk to her, she wanted him to speak to her. She was wishing to hear him call her name but knowing how stubborn he was, she also knew it wouldn't be easy.

The screeching sound of the car tyres fell on her ears and she knew Shumail was home. Her lips curled up in a smile. She was seated on the couch in the room with the help of her nurse, which she did deliberately and when she felt his presence near the room, she closed her eyes and pretended to sleep, lying in a uncomfortable position.

She heard the room door open and footsteps entered and the door closed. She kept her eyes closed. Shumail placed his iPad on the side table and removed his shoes and socks and began to take steps towards the closet. Grabbing some comfortable clothing from his closet, he walked to the bathroom to get freshen up and change.

It was as if he was walking with his eyes half closed with sleep that he didn't notice that Eram wasn't sleeping on the bed, only until he walked to the bed to grab his pillow after he had changed that he saw the bed empty. He turned around to search for her and found her asleep on the couch. Taking small steps, he neared the couch and sat on his knees coming face level with her.

'I wonder how things would have been if we would have met in some other circumstances.'

Shumail looked at the sleeping face of Eram and thought to himself. The girl in front of his eyes was the one who had stolen his heart but she was also the one who had betrayed him. Even if he wanted to take steps towards her, her betrayal would chain him down and stop him from doing so. Unknowingly his hand went up and touched her face gently. He moved his fingers and pushed her hairs out of her face, tugging them behind her ears.

Eram who was pretending to sleep, suddenly was feeling her heart thumping against her chest having Shumail so close to her. His touch gave her tingles and she was trying her best not to make any move. His hand stayed on her cheek and he caressed it ever so softly with his thumb. Eram just wanted to melt in his touch but she knew if she moved, he would back off in no time. He stood up and walked to the bed and came back with the duvet in his hand. He pulled it open to cover her with it but he stopped, seeing how uncomfortable she looked on the couch.

He couldn't bring himself to leave her sleeping on the couch and hence he placed aside the duvet and reached to pick her up in his arms and placed her on the bed. He went to grab the duvet and covered her with it. He stood up to walk away but she didn't wanted him to go, and she pretended to hold him in her sleep. She pulled his hand and circled around her neck, bringing it under her cheeks. He was pulled on his knees on the bed when she pulled at his hand and he slowly tried to pull it back from her grip but she didn't let go.

He struggled for a bit to get free his hand but when he couldn't, he gave up. He sat on the bed with his one leg crossed under him and the other dangling down the bed and his gaze fell on her face.

"Is it okay for me to come to you? I won't be hurt again, will I?" He questioned her sleeping form. His questions made Eram's heart twist with pain. She wanted to sit up and tell him that it's alright to walk to her, to open up to her, that she won't break his trust again, that he won't be hurt again, that she had fallen for him, but she couldn't. She couldn't bring herself to sit up and face him and speak to him, so she kept lying on the bed pretending to sleep.

Shumail slowly shifted and pulled himself down on the bed, lying on it beside her keeping a distance. He pulled the duvet with his other hand and covered her properly with it too and letting her sleep on his hand, he closed his eyes and let sleep take over him. Eram stayed still until she was sure he was fast alseep and then opened her eyes. She was coming to his shoulder length in their laying position and she had to look up to see his face.

"It is okay for you to come to me. Whenever you decide to come to me, you'll find me waiting for you always." Eram moved her hand slowly and fearful of waking him up, she slowly placed it on his stubbled jaw. "Please come to me soon and don't keep me waiting for long."

She scooted her upper body closer to him and tried to snuggle in his chest and having his hand under her cheek, while her other hand placed on his jaw, she closed her eyes and for the first time in the past year, she slept with a smile on her face rather than tears in her eyes.

Assalamualaikum guys!

I'm back with an update!
This one's dedicated to my sweetiepie Gulabisehar as well :-*

How was the chap? How many of you side with Eram? And how many side with Shumail? And your reasons to do so?
Shoot down below...it will be amazing to know your views about the whole situation :D

I had promised to update two days earlier but I became a lazy potato and didn't write the chap and that's why I'm updating it so late >.<'

Will be back with another great chap...Until then ciao!