Dear person whom I am fond of,
did you know that loving you is like loving the bully of your school? How I get hurt by your manipulation, you say that I am pretty, but you really love her. I have tried darling, I really have. I have tried to push you away from me, out of my life, but you and your personality keep coming back.
This morning I asked you to name 3 things that you dislike about me and you said that I was perfectly fine the way I am. How am I suppose to get over you if you can not even tell me that I should change myself.
My friends talk to me very often, but when do they ever want to hear about you? They listen, but they are so fed up hearing your name. How could I put my friends through this agony when I can barely put myself through it? These are the questions being asked every day and ever since forever I have never had an answer.
I have thought about bringing you flowers when you were bringing her flowers. I thought about roses, daisies, lilies, but maybe dead thorn filled flowers fit this situation better. Maybe the thorns will prick you and maybe instead of me bleeding, you can feel how I feel every time I talk to you.
Listen to the music darling, and it is pounding in my head, so loud I can not even think. I know that the music for you, it is silent. Oh wait, maybe it's not music. Maybe it's my heart, skipping beats like it does every once in a while. Well at least I am used to it.
I think I am done with you. Do you want to know how I know? I have a resentment against you, something that makes me want to punch that beautiful face. This resentment, putrid hatred, it has taken up the majority of my mind, shutting off the pounding music. It has caused me to become something that I am not. No, not the resentment, whatever I feel for you has caused me to be something that I believe is not me. I have pushed away my friends by accident because of you. I have spent my time thinking whether or not if I should text you or not. Whether or not if I am annoying you, being something that you would rather or not deal with.
Now, I can see how the manipulation of not only my feelings, but maybe even others, has caused pain, unintentional I assume. I have called you a liar and you know why. You have lied more than I have. Lying about how I am pretty, when I am not. Lying about relationships.
I once texted you and said that I could not trust you anymore, and you asked why. I did not really have an answer, but now I know why I can not trust you anymore. You are no longer my safe place to go, you are hers. Look, I will still keep my promise to you because a promise is a promise even if you do not remember what that promise is.
So, best wishes darling. I truly wish you the best, even if it does not seem like it.
Sincerely,
well
me