Cundrie grabbed the covers of Oliver's bed tightly, wrapping herself like a burrito. It's been a month since her suicide attempt and she's been cooperating well with her mental healer. Or she thinks. She can feel Oliver's arm over her stomach, feeling guilt rising in her heart. She hasn't told xem that she slept with someone else, how will xyr reaction be? Oliver had been so nice, so understanding, but this might be too much for xem to take.

Cundrie's hand brushed over the scars, feeling the uneven bumps there is to feel. The attack. They will never forget Dolores' malicious look as she forced Cundrie to write with that cursed quill. How will they live with the fact that Dolores is promoted to be Head of the Improper Use of Magic? Cundrie themself has been promoted as Senior Undersecretary For the Minister, but it's not enough. Seeing Dolores still keeping her job is not enough. Somehow, making Dolores pay a small amount of money is not enough for them. Cundrie wants more. Not more money, more pain. Cundrie wants her to scream more in pain.

What an evil dream to have.

Cundrie's hand brushed over a singular scar over her wrist, remembering the other memory that came with it. Remembering the night where she slept with another person, the night where she felt so weak, helpless and voiceless. No matter how much she wants to, she'll never forget the memory of her vagina being wet also. Merlin, why? She didn't want to participate in the sex! Why did her vagina have to go wet also? If she'd say, she'd say she never enjoyed the whole thing!

They'll never forget the day where their best friend admits to becoming a murderer. They'll never forget the horror that's in their innards as they hear the details of what Marcus did to Sam. Poor Sam. Even though he's their rapist, they doubt torturing him so badly to the point of killing him was the right thing to do. Cundrie would still want Sam to pay in a way, but not with his life. Not with his life. Guilt will always gnaw through Cundrie's innards as they walk through the backyard of the cottage, knowing the ashes of the head is just underneath their feet.

To think about it, Cundrie is an accomplice just by never reporting. But how could they? How could they report their brother? Cundrie knows they should, they owe Marcus nothing. In fact, to have him reported will probably do him good. But they can't. To hear Marcus regrettably admit himself a murderer secretly is one thing, to hear the whole Wizarding World declare him a murderer is another. Cundrie would rather hear the former than the latter.

"Cundrie?" Cundrie whipped her head to see Oliver, sleepily calling her name. "Wat am yoo doin up? Goo ter sleep." Oliver pats the empty space of the bed next to xem.

"We need to talk," Cundrie started, sitting up to put on the white t-shirt they wore earlier and their underwear, grabbing their glasses.

"Midnoight is the worst toyme ter terk abart deep things, y'knoo that?" Oliver sighed but forced xemself to sit up, taking a grey shirt from earlier and puts it over before facing Cundrie. "Yaouw wanna terk, terk."

"I have to be honest, umm-" Cundrie bit her bottom lip, playing with her fingers. Oliver stared at Cundrie, it must be serious if she woke xem in the middle of the night to talk. "You know that I ran away after the disastrous Christmas?"

"Aye."

"I got raped," Cundrie went straight to the point. Oliver widened xyr eyes. "A Muggle man came and consoled me, gave me beers. He then kissed me, but I didn't want to! I swear, he went more than just kissing me, he forced me to get naked. I couldn't fight him, I couldn't even utter a protest. He didn't ask for my permission or anything."

"Why doy ya tell me earlier?" Oliver asked, xyr jaws hitting the floor, eyes wide as saucers. Cundrie swallowed their saliva, unable to produce a retort. "Christmas is over tewthree months ago. Doy yaouw trussen me?"

"It's not that I don't trust you!" Cundrie shook their head. "I just can't!"

"I bet yaouw told Marcus, doy yaouw?" Oliver asked, pointing xyr finger at Cundrie. Cundrie closed her mouth, it's true. She told Marcus already. "Why am ya so close ter him noo, anywoy? Yaouw an' ee weren't that close back at Hogwarts, what is up between yaouw tewthree?"

"I apparated to Godric's Hollow after I got kicked out and he saw me, and he took me in," Cundrie recalled the event. "We weren't that close during our Hogwarts years, yes, but he was there when I needed him. Don't tell me you're jealous of him!"

"I'm not jealous, I'm curious!" Oliver sniggered as xe pointed to xyr chest repeatedly. "Did yaouw terk abart Marcus duren ar Hogwarts 'eass? Naaa! Yaouw were just civil with him, yaouw weren't close ter him. What changed? Why is ee yaw 'brother' noo? Or is ee mower?"

"He's not more, Oliver-" Cundrie shook their head vigorously. "He killed the guy, ok?! I feel so guilty, yet I can't tell anyone."

"What?"

"I told him- and I regret it," Cundrie started, feeling tears leaking out her eyes. Oliver slapped a hand over xyr mouth, xe can't believe what xe's hearing. "He used legilimency on me without me knowing to trace the guy. He tortured him so brutally that the guy died, Marcus decapitated him and brought his head to the cottage to show it off to me. I had to command him to burn the head and bury it at the back with the bloody clothes that he wore to kill so no one would know. I felt so guilty- I still do."

"That's so fucked-"

"I know," Cundrie cuts, looking down. "Please, can we forget about this? Don't look at him any differently."