Will's pov
Read a/n at the end for some clarity?
Trigger warning: mentions and depiction of self harm, mentions of eating disorder
—
(Day 1)

I woke up enveloped in warmth. My room was bright, pressing against my closed eyes and making the inside of my eyelids a dark yellow. My arm was pressed into the bed, and from what I could tell in my dream-like state, numb and heavy. Had I slept funny on my shoulder?
I wiggled my fingers, and tried to lift my arm, before realizing that yes, I had slept funny, because there was a person pressed to my chest and asleep on my arm.

The early morning events came back to me in one fatal swoop, knocking the air out of my lungs, sobering me up, and forming a headache all at once. I opened my eyes, and came face to face with the back of Nico's head.

It was strange, after so many months, being so close to him. It was also strange not recognizing the back of his head, after cutting his hair in the hospital. Instead of the long hair that I used to tuck behind his ears and wanted to see pulled into a small pony tail, it was short. Mesmerized, I raised my free hand up to the back of his head, and lifted the hair. He had an undercut, with his spill of hair on top. Because it was shorter it seemed... fluffier.

I snatched my hand away. Nico wouldn't take kind to waking up with my hand in his hair. Actually, I was afraid of how he would feel waking up in my apartment in general. Would he remember last night, especially after dissociating and the panic attack? Would he go back to how he was, hating my guts?
He obviously came here for a reason. Either way, he came here because he trusted me. After everything, he still trusted me, at least subconsciously.

I couldn't help but smile.

From the light pouring into my room and the sounds coming from the kitchen, Cecil must have been getting ready to leave, and he most definitely would want an explanation.

I took a deep breath, savouring what might be my only chance laying like this with Nico again, and carefully slid my way out of bed. Once standing, Nico groaned and shifted, curling into a ball to conserve warmth. I held my breath, but he didn't wake up. He looked... different. No only because of the hair, although that might have been a part of it, but his face looked thinner and more sculpted, like he lost the last of his baby cheeks while he was away, and somehow he looked paler, matching my white sheets closer than he ever had before. He wasn't getting any sun, like he had been locked in a basement rather than a mental hospital that took willing patients out for 'field trips'. I doubt Nico had gone on one of them.

The sound of dishes being placed in the sink and footsteps approaching brought me back to earth. Before I could make it to my door, it swung open, revealing Cecil. We locked eyes, me bringing my finger to my lips to signal 'don't make a sound' and I snuck towards him and out of my room. I closed the door slowly, hoping to god the small 'click' didn't wake him up. Cecil gestured towards the living room.
As I followed him down the dark hall, I shook out my arm and swung it in circles to try and regain feeling. It was heavy and tingly and I couldn't quite gain control over it.

"Ok, so what the fuck?" Cecil finally whisper-shouted, spinning on me. I dropped my arm and looked out the large windows behind the small tv.

"I'm not... completely sure," I muttered. Even now that I was mostly awake, the nights events were fuzzy. It was so early, and it kind of felt like a fever dream. Him arriving at my door, him barefoot, him hugging me and remaining mostly silent as I cleaned him up... fuck, I hadn't checked his bandages when I woke up, I should do that-

"What do you mean 'I don't know'? Will, I will not believe for a second that he is allowed to be here right now. I know first hand from you that he was doing badly," Cecil pressed his fingers to his temples and massaged them, "there is no way in hell he was discharged."

"No, you're right," I continued staring out the window at the fall coloured leaves and buzzing activity down the road.

"So what? He ran away? How did he even get here? Is that even legal?" He asked, beginning to pace. Cecil wasn't normally like this, I think the whole situation with me the past couple months was causing him a lot of stress. This was his breaking point.

"He is an adult, so no, it's not illegal," I wrapped my arms around my chest defensively.

"Stop avoiding the major issue here, Will," Cecil stopped pacing and placed a hand on my arm. I avoided his gaze,
"Did Nico run away?"

"...yes," I frowned, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth.

"Does Jenny- or anyone- know that he is here?"

"No..."

"Is it safe for us having him here?"

I wrenched back, clenching my teeth.

"Nico is not dangerous-" I whisper-shouted, afraid to wake him up.

"Will, he showed up covered in blood!"

"It wasn't someone else's blood! I was his own!"

"And that makes it any better?" Cecil stepped forwards, taking my arm again. His eyes weren't angry, but concerned,
"Will, you aren't a doctor, you can't help him-"

"I don't even know all of the information, but he needed me last night. The hospital- it wasn't helping him, he told me he hated it there-"

"Because they stopped him from killing himself?"

"Stop! Cecil- please, I haven't talked to him properly, please don't tell anyone, I just want to help him," I quieted down, staring at the floor.

"You know this isn't going to help you, right? Him being here will not fix you-"

"I know that," I cut him off, looking away. He went quiet, and turned away.

"Do you realize what you're doing is wrong?" He asked, crossing his arms as well.

"...yes," I muttered, grip tightening on my arms.

"But you're going to do it anyways, aren't you?" He muttered resentfully. Cecil wasn't usually a voice of reason when it came to bad decisions, but when it came to bad decisions concerning my mental well being, he was on top of it.

"I- I need to be there for him. I need to do something," I concluded.

"And what about me? What can I do?"
My head shot up, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Cecil turned back to face me, his features softened.

"Just- don't tell anyone, for now, please. And I can't let him be... alone. At least not for long periods of time. If you aren't at work or school when I am, will you stay here... with him?" I asked, feeling guilty.

Surprisingly, he sighed and nodded.

"If you really feel like you need to do this, I'll help you. But not for long. One month, max," he held up a finger, narrowing his eyes. I pursed my lips and nodded.

"One month," I sighed, turning away.

"God, I feel like I'm doing something against the law..." Cecil groaned, walking to the kitchen to grab his tea. I watched him carefully, and then noticed my note on the table from the night before.
"Yes, I called in sick for you, don't worry. Go check on him, if he wakes up alone it might freak him out more."

I smiled thankfully and dashed down the hallway. I slid to a stop in front of the door and pulled it open- only to be face to face with Nico. He jumped back from the door and looked up at me, looking tired and, well, scared.

"You're awake," I commented softly, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind me. Nico dropped his head to the floor and began fidgeting, picking at his fingers.

"I, um, I heard you and Cecil arguing," he took another step back, "and y-your phone kept dinging."

He reached up to his neck and started to subconsciously scratch at the bandages, as if he forgot they were there.
I stepped up to him and took his hand, lowering it to his side.

"I'm sorry for waking you," I whispered.
I wasn't sure how I was supposed to act. Did he think we were still in a relationship? He did hug me a lot last night, but he was also dissociated and panicking, and may not have realized what he was doing. Behind his bangs, flattened from sleeping, he seemed to be blushing.

"No, it's alright," he stepped back once more so that he could sit at the foot on my bed, "I- I should be the one apologizing."

I couldn't think of what he would be apologizing for. For what happened three months ago? For ignoring me ever since then? That didn't seemed necessary- he was taking his time. He was here now, and he wasn't screaming at me-

"For showing up unannounced, and scaring you," he continued, staring at his hands. My heart broke, just a bit. After everything, he was worried about me, and not what he went through last night.

"Nee- Nico, you don't have to apologize, I'm here for you," I cautiously walked forwards and sat next to him, taking one of his hands from his lap. His hand tensed, momentarily digging his fingernail into the back on my hand.

"I know I shouldn't be here, but I don't know- I don't think I can go back. I don't know if I can face Jenny after what I did. She- she's gonna be so disappointed in me," he whispered, like if he talked any louder his voice would break.

"She won't be disappointed, but she is probably worried about you," I rubbed a circle on his hand, hoping that I could make him feel, if just a fraction, better.

"I can't, not right now," he looked the other way, not being able to confront what he said. He knew this was wrong, just like I did, but neither of us had the strength to give in. At least we were in this together.

"I don't know if you feel comfortable with this, but..." Nico looked at me finally, eyes wide,
"I talked to Cecil. If you want to stay here for a bit, well, you can..."

Nico gripped my hand, eyes watering. He slouched, pressing his forehead into my shoulder.

"Thank you, Will," he whispered. It took everything in me not to lean down and kiss the top of his head. I didn't know where I stood, and I didn't want to scare him away by over stepping my limits. It would be nice to know what those limits were, though...

"I called in sick to work, so I'll be here until 4:00, because I have a class, but Cecil will probably be back by then," I murmured nervously.
Nico nodded his head against my shoulder.

"And we would probably rebandage your neck, and make sure it's breathing right," I continued. Nico raised his hand to his back and touched the bandages, before tucking it back in his lap.

"I... I can't believe I did that," he whispered. I wondered which part- once again,
"I didn't even feel it, I didn't think I could... do that to myself."

Oh. The scratches.

It wasn't something that happened normally. It wasn't normal to scratch past the protective layers of your skin without realizing it. To not realize that you have drawn blood- a considerable amount especially- by your own hands. Yet, the body shuts down in times of immense stress. There's no telling what the body could do in times like that. It's a proven fact that, if you didn't feel pain and your brain didn't stop you, you could bite through your finger like a carrot.

Not like that is a particularly nice image.

"They'll heal quickly as long as we take care of them," I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to hold him. But I didn't want to scare him away. Right now he needed me, and I needed this.

I know that he can't cure me. I know that. I understand. But I also think that if we take this opportunity, we can heal together. I'll make him feel comfortable again, and I'll start therapy, and we can make it through this.

Nico lifted his head off my shoulder and stole his hand back, lacing it with his own.

"I'm gonna go use the washroom, meet me in there?" He asked quietly. He even spoke differently now. His voice was lower and softer, like it had been unused for a very long time.

"Of course, I'll be there soon," I gazed at him. His bed head. The bags under his eyes. The pale skin. How much different he seemed to be. An entirely new person. This wasn't the Nico I first met, and yet I was still in love with him.

I wondered if he still loved me.

He got off the bed and slid out of the room, making no sound as he walked.

I sighed heavily, at the same time as my phone dinging. Nico had said my phone was going off and it had woken him up.

I crossed the length of my bed to my bedside table and unplugged my phone. I finally saw the time, 9:40, and that my phone was lit up with notifications from Jenny.

Shit.

—

Jenny: will I have some bad news
Jenny: Nico ran away last night, and he hasn't been found
Jenny: I don't want to worry you, especially with everything on your plate, but I know you would like to know
Jenny: we've already placed a missing persons report, I'll let you know if we hear anything
Jenny: he was struggling with his weight, and were afraid that he won't make it on his own
Jenny: I love you sweetie, please don't let this consume you. We'll do everything we can to find him
Jenny: let us know if you hear anything

—
A/n

Whoop bad decisions time. They're very dumb and do not know how to cope with anything.

If you were wondering: no, Nico staying with Will will not solve their issues, they need to be proactive to do that. This is just... a learning experience

Also this is a story, so, uh, not gonna be completely realistic

And I did come up with this in like grade 9/10 and even tho I have changed what it was gonna be a bit... well it's not exactly accurate is it? I'll try my best to show how they will grow from this. I want to give them a happy ending, but it will take a lot more than hiding out with your (maybe?) boyfriends house some whatd illegally?
(Also the nurse that Nico sort of assaulted is not pressing charges if anyone is wondering. He isn't a criminal. He was not in control of that situation, and nurses who work with patients like Nico understand that. Although. It was quite frightening at the moment which is why she froze up and didn't stop him)

ALSO : this is not me painting dissociation and schizophrenia is a bad light. I would never do that (although psychopath isn't quite realistic). I have experienced both severe panic attacks and dissociation, along with research on dissociation causing violent behaviours. It will not be a running theme, because Nico is not a violent person. It was a one time thing

Thea