11 July 2018 Monday ...11.00pm continued
Raman and Ishita's villa
Living Room

Ishita regained consciousness with a start as her husband laid her gently on the sofa in the living room, his face crumpled with worry, and his heart berating him for what he had unwittingly done to her, for the effect that overhearing his and Gina's conversation had had on her.

"Ishita" he had been saying urgently, over and over as he carried her inside. "Please be okay jaan, please."

She opened her eyes, wondering for a second where she was, why her husband sounded so worried, and then recollection hit her, and her eyes closed again as if to shut out the truth, her body recoiling from his touch.

She felt her husband flinch and draw back, and then Mihika was by her side.

She struggled to sit up as Mihika supported her, Mihika's worried questions breaking the silence of the still Pacific night.

"Akka, kya hua?" (Akka, what's wrong?) Mihika asked anxiously. "Jeeju, Mihir what's wrong with akka. Akka, wait, don't get up."

"I'm okay Mihika."

Ishita's voice was as cold as ice as she sat up, taking her sisters support, her thin frame shaking as the shock of realization set in again.

"It's over Gina. You couldn't get enough of my body. It's over Gina. You couldn't get enough of my body. It's over Gina."

She put her hands over her ears, wishing, hoping, wanting to drown out those words and those voices, his voice, her husband's voice, and his lovers voice . She did not realize that tears had started to flow down her cheeks, hot tears that spoke of the turmoil in her heart,  the storm within her soul.

"Akka what's wrong? What's wrong with akka jeeju, Mihir?"

Mihika looked up from her silently weeping sister to her silent husband and brother in law. "Why aren't you saying something? Chup kyun hai aap sab?" (Why are you all so quiet?)

"Kyun ki kuch kehne ko nahi bacha Mihika" (Because there is nothing left to say Mihika) Ishita wiped her tears and looked up at her sister, resolutely avoiding her husband's eyes. "Tum mujhe... mujhe packing karne mein help karogi, mujhe Delhi wapas jaana hai." (Will you ...will you please help me pack I need to get back to Delhi)

"But we just got here akka. Aakhir hua kya hai?" (Just what is the matter?) Mihika stood up and rounded around on her silent husband. "Mihir tell me"

"Yes Mihir tell her." Ishita's voice sounded strange to her own ears, brittle, fragile. "Tell her how your bhai has been having an affair with the Queen of Bollywood while you've been hiding everything from me. Tell her how he couldn't get enough of Gina Shah's body .... tell her..."

Her voice broke off and she covered her face with her hands again, sobs wracking through her once more.

"What? Akka, no that can't be right, jeeju loves you. He would never do something like that to you" Mihika sat down next to her sister, putting her arms around her, futilely trying to draw her into her embrace. She caressed her sisters hair and then looked up at her still silent husband.

"Mihir, what is akka saying? Jeeju really had an affair... with that Gina Shah. Those news reports were correct? Jeeju?" She turned accusatory eyes at her jeeju who was standing quietly with worry and fear etched in his face, his eyes fixed on his wife.

"Mihika, I need to talk to Ishita. Alone." Raman's voice was quiet but determined.

"Mihika, tum mujhe help kar sakti ho kya, please" ( Mihika, can you help me pack please) Ishita's voice was equally determined, but she could feel hysteria beginning to rise up within her. She needed to get out of here. Out of this place where her husband had betrayed her, had destroyed the trust she had thought was inviolate.  She needed to go. She couldn't stay here. Couldn't stay around him. She needed ....she needed... She shook her head, trying to stem the tears that wouldn't stop, trying to hold back the hysteria that threatened to engulf. She had to be strong. Her children were with her. She had to get them back home.

She took a deep breath and then spoke to her sister again.

"Tum.... woh... manager ko call ... dekho zara aur koi rooms hai kya jahan hum kal tak reh sakte hai? Na jaane flights kab milegi. Mujhe.. booking karna hoga. Abhi Adi aur Ruhi ko uthana hoga, lekin babies ko mat uthana...aur ... " ( Just....just ring up the manager to see if there's another villa we can stay in until tomorrow, or or whenever we can get a flight. We need to book flights. I'll have to wake up Adi and Ruhi but don't wake the babies. And...)

"Ishita" her husband's voice cut through her rambling words, as both Mihika and Mihir stared in shock at the drama unfolding before them. "I need to talk to you. Please."

"Kyun?" She finally looked up at him and he recoiled at the anguish in her eyes. "Ab kya bacha hai kehne ko Raman? Sab kuch toh keh diya uss ne, aap ne. You had an affair Raman. You cheated on me. And you lied to me. Mein ne pucha tha aapse shaam ko, tab toh aap mujh par naaraz ho rahe theh. Lekin ab toh mein ne khud sun liya hai Raman. You were lovers. She said you... you couldn't get ... get enough of her body." She shuddered as the words left her mouth, a bitter taste rising in her throat. She pressed a hand to her mouth, trying to stem the sickness that those words induced in her. " Ab aur kitna jhoot kahoge Raman?" (Why? What is there left to say Raman? Everything has already been said , by you and by her. You had an affair Raman. You cheated on me. And you lied to me. I asked you this afternoon but you were just getting angry with me for questioning you. But now I've heard everything for myself Raman. You were lovers. She said you... you couldn't get ... get enough of her body. How many more lies will you tell Raman?)

"Ishita meri baat suno, please listen to me. I didn't lie to you. What I said this afternoon was true, please...." His voice was as anguished as hers. He could not bear to see her in such pain, and it was pain that he himself had caused. He always caused her pain. Always.

She wiped her tears furiously, staring at her husband in disbelief.

"Jhooth nahi kaha aap ne ? You didn't lie to me Raman? So what, you've never slept with her? Then what was it that I just heard? Tell me Raman? Are you saying you've never had sex with that woman?"

His heart skipped a beat as he shook his head slowly. "No, Ishita" he whispered. "I didn't lie to you but I have slept with her. But Ishita it...." He couldn't continue further as his wife cried out, her hand delivering a stinging slap to his face before she ran into their bedroom, not being able to stand being in the same space with him any more, not knowing how else to react, and what to do.

"Akka" Mihika gave a withering look at Raman and started to run behind her sister, but Raman stood in the way. "No Mihika" he said firmly. "I need to speak to my wife. Alone."

"You don't deserve to speak to her jeeju" Mihika hissed back at her brother in law, even as her husband pulled her away.

"Mihir, explain to Mihika, please. And look after the babies if they wake up. I need some time with my wife."

And then Raman also walked into the bedroom, shutting the door closed firmly behind him.

Raman and Ishita's Bedroom

Raman closed and locked the door, not trusting his sister in law not to barge into the room. He had to speak to his madrassan, had to make her understand. He had handled this wrongly from the start, he knew that. He should have told her everything this afternoon, but he had been so scared of her reaction. This was exactly what he had been trying to avoid - hurting her. But yet it had happened. His wife was in pain and it was his fault. He needed to make it right.

She was such a strong woman, she was the rock of their family and it was unbearable to see her like this. Especially when it was because of him.

She was lying on the bed, her face downwards, body shaking. He could hear her sobs, muffled by the pillows into which she was crying her heart out. He knew what she was feeling, what she was going through, because it had happened to him once. Betrayal.

But there was a difference. Shagun had betrayed him but he had not betrayed Ishita. He had not betrayed his wife, and he needed to make her understand.

He hesitated as he stood by the foot of the bed. She would not want to listen to him right now, but she had to. He had to make her understand.

"Ishita"his voice was tentative as he sat at the foot of the bed, wanting desperately to take her into his arms, but not daring to. "Please listen to me."

Ishita stiffened, her tears stemming at the sound of her husband's voice.

"Get out Raman. Leave me alone" Her voice was muffled, but the anger, the pain was loud and clear.

"No" he stood his ground. "You have to listen to me."

"I don't have to do anything"

She sat up, whirling around to face him, and his heart smote at the sight of her tear ravaged face, her ashen pallor. She had fainted once already, he had to be careful. God damn, what a mess he had created.

"I know you don't have to but Ishita please, you know me, you know how much I love you, I'm begging you, just listen to me, please."

She looked up at him, at the redness on his cheek where her palm had left a stinging retort, at the sadness, the fear in his eyes.

"How can you say you love me?" She asked him brokenly. "How do you sit there and claim to love me when you.... you slept with her. You cheated on me. Kyun Raman. Kyun kiya aisa? Kyun? Kyun? Kyun?" (Why Raman? Why did you do this? Why? Why? Why?)

"Ishita, I didn't..."

"I'm leaving Raman" she interrupted him, getting up and moving restlessly to the large mirrored wardrobes where she had unpacked only a few hours earlier. She slid open the wardrobe doors, her hands reaching out blindly for a handful of clothes. "You can stay here, stay with her, but I'm leaving, I'm taking my children, and I..."

"Ishita" He had walked up to her and he pulled her around to face him, even as she flinched and wrenched herself free.

"Don't" she shouted. "Don't touch me."

"Ishita, it was before we were married" he shouted back, desperate to make himself heard, desperate to stop her from leaving. "Before I even met you. I knew Gina in Mumbai, when she was modeling, before she got into movies."

She dropped the clothes in her hands onto the bed, her heart hammering with anger, and yet a little glimmer of relief, a little ray of hope, shone through a crack in the dark walls of her defenses.

She looked at him blankly, her face reflecting nothing of the turmoil in her heart. "Before we were married? This happened before we were married? Then why didn't you just tell me Raman? Why did you put me through this.... why didn't you tell me this afternoon?"

"Ishita...I..." His voice was a stammer. How could he explain?

She looked at the anxiety on her husband's face, and her heart sunk again, fear lacing her voice with bitterness.

"Maybe it's because you decided to take it up again when you met her here? Because you've rekindled your love for her? Are you regretting that you ever married me, that you're no longer free to be with her? Maybe something did happen, maybe...."

"Ishita, nothing happened here. Nothing. Gina wanted to, yes, but I haven't done anything, I haven't cheated on you."

"Gina wanted to and you said no? To someone like her? I don't believe you Raman...."

"Believe me please Ishita. I have no interest in her or any other woman. I love you Ishita. Mere liye sirf tum ho, aur koi nahi." (You're the only one for me, there's no one else)

"Then why Raman? " tears fell furiously as her voice broke again. " Then why did you lie to me? I asked you this afternoon, and you lied to me, you said you had never slept with her, that you..."

"I said I had never been with anyone else since I started to love you and that's the truth Ishita. I didn't lie, I just...."

"You just didn't think it was important to tell me the whole truth." She sank down onto the bed. "And you think that's okay? You didn't technically lie to me, so everything is fine, everything is okay, forget about it Ishita. Is that it, huh?"

"No Ishita, it's not okay, but I was scared of how you would react, and I....."

"You were scared Raman? Why? Do you still have feelings for her? Because she obviously still has feelings for you. I heard you Raman. I heard her. It sure as hell didn't sound as if you were talking about some one night stand that happened a few years ago."

He took a deep breath. He had to tell her. He had to be completely honest. But how would she react? How would it make her feel?

"It wasn't a one night stand Ishita"

His voice was quiet and he sat next to her, smiling ruefully as she flinched once again, shifting away from him.

"Then what was it?" She didn't know where she got this strength from, this strength to talk to her husband about his love affairs and his lovers, when all she wanted to do was to throw herself into some abyss where this nightmare didn't exist, where he was her Raavan and she was his jaan and there was no one else between them.

"I ... we had a relationship Ishita. She lived with me for a few months."

"She.... lived with you?" Her voice was shocked as she stared at her husband. He had told her when he proposed about how he had played the field after Shagun left him, the one night stands, the fleeting encounters, the casual hook ups with his friends, but she had not known that he had been so serious about someone. That he had lived with another woman. What else had he hidden from her? What else was he still hiding?

"You were in love with her" Her voice was bereft of all emotion, but her statement was just that, a statement, not a question. She was looking straight ahead, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

"I didn't know what love was until I met you jaan"

"Don't" her voice cut through the air like a whip. "Don't call me that"

"Ishita.."

"I want the truth Raman. Sach batao mujhe" (Tell me the truth)

"Ishita please. I ...  Gina and I met at a marketing campaign I designed. One of my first large corporate clients. She was one of the models. She was a very attractive young woman, and intelligent too. She was good company, and it was a mutual thing. We started to hook up, but we were both busy, it was difficult to get time together and she had been living as a PG, so it made sense for her to move in with me. It didn't last very long ... I was just starting to make a mark  in PR, and I was able to get her the introductions she wanted... then she got her big break, her first movie and she moved out. We kept in touch at first , but our careers were the priority for both of us and things just... fizzled out. There was no argument, no heartbreak, the attraction just wasn't there any more. I moved to Delhi a year later and never met her again until last week."

"It's all so casual for you isn't it Raman?" She finally looked at him, and he could see bewilderment in her beautiful eyes. "Live with someone, forget them, move on to someone else."

"This is why I was scared to tell you" he shook his head ruefully. "Because I knew you wouldn't understand."

"What I don't understand is why, if everything was as casual as you make it out to be, why she obviously still wants you in her life then? And don't tell me it isn't true Raman, because I won't believe you."

"I won't lie Ishita. She wants to .... to rekindle her relationship with me. She's been very successful in her career but not as such in her personal life. When she saw me again, she said she wanted to give it another go... that maybe she should have stayed with me... that she realized after dating other men that she was still in love with me. I don't know where all this is coming from Ishita, she certainly wasn't serious about me when we were together. Neither of us was. It was just... convenient. I've been trying to get her to see sense, but she ... I guess she's not used to hearing no."

'And you thought you could hide this from me? How?" She looked at him incredulously, and then stood up, picking up the clothes she had thrown onto the bed. "She is here. She wants you back, and she's making no secret of it. So how the hell were you going to hide this from me?"

"I wasn't thinking Ishita. I just... I just couldn't risk losing you. I didn't know how to tell you." His voice was quiet as he realized the futility of what he had been trying to do. Of course he couldn't have hidden the truth from his wife. Gina would never have agreed to stay quiet. He had been stupid and his stupidity had brought them to this. "I'm sorry  Ishita, please...please just...."

"No, Raman. This isn't just about you any more. It hasn't been for years now. Your life, your decisions, your past, it impacts me too. And it isn't about what you shared in the past. You hid the fact that she wants you in her life now. Doesnt that affect me Raman? Don't I have the right to know, to be prepared to face someone who wants to break up my marriage, my family? Don't you owe me that much respect? If you can't give me that respect , then there's nothing left between us. Nothing. I'm going back to Delhi. You can rekindle whatever you want to with your ex girlfriend."

"No damn it" He got to his feet, not believing what he was hearing, not willing to accept his wife's decision. "You married me knowing about my past. I told you what I had been, who I had been. So what's changed now? I haven't cheated on you Ishita. I have no intention of cheating on you, or leaving you or starting anything with her. I am not responsible for what Gina wants. She was in my past. Let her stay there. Don't do this. Don't make this into a bigger deal than it is."

Her eyes blazed at the unfairness of his comments. "Aap ko nahi lagta ki yeh big deal hai? Mera bhi ek past hai Raman, lekin mein ne kabhi kya aapko uss ki ehsaas dilayi hai? Nahi. Toh phir aap ka past kyun hamesha aakar hamari aaj se takraati hai?" (You don't think this is a big deal? I have a past too Raman, but have I ever made you feel uncomfortable because of my part? Then why does your past always have to clash with our lives today?)

"Aur Delhi jaane se kya hoga?" (And what will your returning to Delhi achieve?) He grabbed his wife by the arm, ignoring her protests, pulling her close to him. "Will that change my past? No. But it will change everything for us. Do you really want to leave now Ishita? What about all the questions this will raise with the family?  What about our children ? If you take them from here now, one day after they've arrived, how will they feel? What will it achieve? The babies won't understand anything but do you really want to put Adi and Ruhi through so much pain, so much uncertainty?"

She pulled away, tears gushing down her eyes.

"You really know how to hurt me don't you Raman? You... you lied to me but if I don't just accept it and don't stay here then it's my fault?  Toh phir mein kya karoon batao mujhe? My husband doesn't trust me with the truth, he lies to me, his ex girlfriend is throwing herself at him in front of me, and what, I'm just supposed to stay here and accept it all, and say nothing? I'm not some doormat Raman and I'm not going to take this."

"Ishita, I know it's not fair on you, but she's leaving on Thursday. The babies birthday is on Friday. The children were so looking forward to this trip. I know I've hurt you, I should have told you everything, but I wanted to choose the right moment, to explain properly..... I didn't want this to happen. But don't let this ruin our holiday please Ishita. Don't leave. I know you're angry with me, you have every right to be. I should have told you everything straight away, I wasn't thinking straight, but if you go now, what will we tell the children? Just stay Ishita. Forgive me and stay. "

"I can't just forgive you Raman. You can't hide something so big from me and then just expect me to go on as if nothing has happened."

"Then what Ishita? You're going to leave me, is that what you want? We have a happy marriage dammit, we have children, a life together, are you going to end everything over this?"

"I don't know what I'm going to do" she whispered, the fight draining out of her. "I need to think. There is nothing in a marriage without trust Raman. Agar aap ke aur mere beech mein bharosa nahi hai, toh phir kya hai hamare paas? Mujhe waqt chahiye. Aur mujhe akela rehna hai. Right now, I want to be left alone. I don't want to be around you. I don't want to know about your.. your relationship with ...with her. I don't want your explanations. I just want to be left alone" ( I don't know what I'm going to do. I need to think. There is nothing in a marriage without trust Raman. If there is no trust, then what is there? I need time, and I need to be alone. Right now, I want to be left alone. I don't want to be around you. I don't want to know about your.. your relationship with ...with her. I don't want your explanations. I just want to be left alone)

"Ishita...." He was interrupted by a loud banging on the door. For a while now there had been murmurs outside, but they had been so engrossed in their conversation, their emotions, that they had not paid any attention to the voices.

The knock was repeated and a voice called out "Papa, Ishima."

"Adi" Ishita whispered, looking at her husband in horror. "How did he wake up?"

"What now?" Raman looked at his wife, a small sliver of hope rising in his heart. He didn't want Adi to witness them like this, but maybe, just maybe Adi could make his mother change her mind. He didn't want to use his son in this way, but he would die if his wife left him. He couldn't let her go. He couldn't let her leave.

"Ishima" the voice was louder, a tinge of panic in it.

"Open the door Raman"  Ishita hastily wiped her tears, sitting down on the bed as Raman walked up to the door and unlocked it.

Adi was standing at the door, an apologetic Mihir behind him.

"I'm sorry bhai" Mihir said slowly. "Adi overheard Mihika and I talking, and he insisted...."

"It's okay Mihir " Raman put an arm around his son's shoulders, drawing him into the room.

"Ishima" Adi ran up to his mother, sitting down next to her. "Kya hua? Aap log fight kyun kar rahe ho? Mihika aunty ne kaha... ye sach hai kya? Are you going to divorce papa too?" ( Ishima, what happened? Why are you fighting? Mihika aunty said... is it true? Are you going to divorce papa too?)

Ishita looked up at her young son, saw the fear in his eyes. Raman was right - she couldn't do this to the children. She couldn't make decisions in anger, and in haste. She needed to think, to do what was right. But she couldn't put her children through the pain she could see in Adi's eyes.

She took a deep breath and took her son's hands in hers, drawing him close.

"Aisa koi baat nahi hai Adi. I'm just...I'm angry with your papa ... kuch baat hai beta, jo papa ne mujhe nahi bataya. Mujhe bas, mein..... mein thodi si upset hoon beta lekin aisi koi badi baat nahi hai. Tumhe fikar karne ki zaroorat nahi hai. You go back to bed now. We have so many things to do tomorrow, hmm?" ( There's nothing like that Adi. I'm just .... I'm angry with your papa... there was something that papa didn't tell me. I just...I .... I'm a little bit upset son but it's not such a big thing. There's no need for you to worry. You go back to bed now. We have so many things to do tomorrow, hmm?)

"But I heard Mihika aunty say you were leaving Ishima."

"No beta. I'm not leaving. We still have so much to do here, hmmm. Twins ki birthday party bhi arrange karni hai na? Go to bed Adi, everything is okay beta." She kissed his cheek gently, clinging to him for a second. He had been through so much already. Ruhi had been through so much. She couldn't make these decisions lightly. It wasn't just about her or Raman. They had a family. They were a family. She loved her husband, she knew he loved her, but his hiding the truth from her like this..... the pain she was feeling was intense but she needed to calm down. She needed to think carefully.

Adi got up, looking at his silent father.

"Papa?" He asked tentatively.

"Go to bed Adi. We are going sailing in the morning, remember?"

"Yes papa" Adi hesitated and then walked to the door, closing it behind him.

Ishita got up abruptly, grabbing the clothes she had dropped on the bed and pulling her suitcase out of the closet.

"Ishita" Raman looked at her anxiously, making a move toward her, but she put out a hand as if to ward him off.

"Dont come near me please. I'm moving into the babies room. You can stay here. I'll carry on with this... this damned holiday for my children, but I don't want to talk to you right now Raman. So just keep away from me please."

"Ishita please...."

"No Raman" She had finished throwing her clothes into her bag and she picked it up, warding off his attempts to help as she walked up to the door, taking a deep breath before she opened it.

Thankfully, Adi had gone back into his room, but both Mihir and Mihika were in the living room, and they both gasped in shock as they saw her standing in the doorway with her suitcase.

"Bhabhi.." Mihir started but she put up a hand to silence him. It wasn't Mihir's fault, she knew that, and she knew his loyalty to his bhai, but she was not in the mood for forgiveness at the moment.

"Mihika, I'm moving into the babies room. And I don't want to talk about this right now, so please. I'll be fine, I just want to be alone right now."

"Okay akka" Mihika looked at her sister with love and compassion, but she knew her sister, and she knew that the best thing right now was to give her space. Mihir had explained everything to her, but she knew just how deeply her akka loved her jeeju, just how possessive she was about him, and how she still struggled at times to accept how much jeeju loved her. To have an ex girlfriend of jeeju' s here on the island with them for the next two days, that too, a superstar like Gina Shah, who was hellbent on breaking up her jeeju' s marriage.... it would not be easy for akka to deal with. But her akka was a strong woman, and Mihika knew that she would get through this. She just needed her space right now, and the best thing to do was to let her have that.

"Just tell me if you need anything akka" she said to her sisters retreating back, as Ishita opened the door to the twins dimly lit room and stepped inside, closing the door softly behind her.

***********************************
An Hour Later

Raman nursed his drink as he stood at the open French doors of his bedroom, staring at the moonlight lighting up the beach, the waves crashing on the shore. She should have been here with him, enjoying the sight with him, but she must be curled in the narrow single bed between the babies cot, crying silently. He knew his Ishita. He knew the vulnerabilities behind the confident pose she showed to him. And he knew that her greatest fear was that he would leave her, that she would become just another woman in the long list of women he had been with and left. Even now, after bearing his babies, after becoming his raison d'être, she still worried that he would leave. Or that someone would steal him away from her, from his family.

He knew where the genesis of her fear, her insecurity lay. It had to do with the fact that she had been left once before, and in such a brutal way - that spineless bastard Subbu had left her after a 12 year relationship, on the day of their engagement party, a week before their wedding because of her perceived inadequacies. And all the love that he, Raman Bhalla, had showered on his wife had not managed to dislodge that feeling of inadequacy, to erase that fear.

It had been a fear that had lurked behind the surface since the time that she had realized she loved him. He remembered how upset she had been at their wedding reception, when Mihir had invited some of the women that he had had dalliances with in the past. She had been so hurt, so jealous at the womens' familiarity with him. He remembered how he had tried to reassure her, their exploration that night of the pleasures of making love, her uncertainty, her wonderment and finally her acceptance of his lovemaking, of his love. She had assured him that night that she was no longer afraid, but the fear had still lurked.

Still, they had come a long way since that wedding night. Her confidence in herself, in their relationship, their sexual exploration of each other, had reached new heights. He had chipped away slowly at all her perceived inadequacies - about her body, her abilities as a mother, her desirability as a woman. Especially in the past year, her confidence had grown in leaps and bounds. Since that awful time of his memory loss, it was Ishita who had taken the lead so many times in their relationship, in their family. His dependence on her, and hers on him, had been complete. They had truly become equal partners, incomplete without each other. And yet behind it all, he knew there still lurked that age old fear. That she was not enough for him. That one day, he would get bored of her, that one day, he would leave. Just like Subbu had left. It was his knowledge of that fear that had led to him trying to hide the truth about his past with Gina from her.

He sipped his drink slowly as he remembered his consternation when on the due day of her arrival in Fiji , Dia Mirza had regretfully withdrawn from the campaign. He had flown up to Suva to try and see what could be done, whether there was a local celebrity that they could co-opt at this last moment, with the official opening just two days away. And then on returning to the island that night, some tentative deals made, he remembered his horror when Mr Mehta had told him not to worry, that he had been able to get Gina Shah to come instead, that she was already on the way in his private jet. He had told Mr Mehta of his past association with Gina, but the tycoon had laughed it off, telling Raman that Gina had had a string of much publicized affairs since, that she would probably be bringing her latest boyfriend along with her.

But Gina had arrived alone, and while he had been happy to see her, and grateful to her for stepping in at the last moment, he had realized that she held no attraction off him. She was beautiful, yes, but her beauty did not affect him. She had looked at him quizzically when he had drawn back from her over effusive hug, giving her a perfunctory kiss on her cheek when they met. Perhaps she had seen his disinterest as a challenge, because once the press meetings and photo shoots were over, she had called him to her villa, and had declared that she wanted him back in her life, that she had realized when she saw him again that she had always loved him, and she should have never left him. He had told Gina about Ishita, about his family, but she had laughed it off, insisting that she would talk to his wife, that he needed to realize that she needed him, wanted him, and would get him. "You can get custody of your children Raman" she had pouted at him. "You're the one with the money after all, not your wife. Then again, maybe you should let her keep custody, after all, we will be so busy socializing. I'm the biggest star in India Raman, and being with me will make you famous in no time."

"It's not going to happen Gina" he had told her in no uncertain terms. "I love Ishita. I can't live without her. What you and I had was a long time ago, and it's over. You're not in love with me, this is just another amusement, a new game for you. We are here to do a job, so let's do it, and then you can get on with your life and I'll get on with mine. But there is no us Gina. And there never will be."

He had managed to get out of her villa then, but over the next few days, she had stuck to him at every opportunity, touching him openly, being affectionate in front of the cameras. And for the sake of Mr Mehta's Resort, he had had to bear it. All the while wondering just what his wife would think, and just how he could explain this to her. Mihir had known all about their past dalliance of course, and he had stuck to his brother like a leech, being his protector.

But then tonight had happened. And here he was alone, while she cried herself to sleep in the room next door. He took another sip of his drink, brushing away the stray tears that escaped his eyes.  He missed her so much, had so been looking forward to being with her in Fiji, to holding her in his arms again. Instead, there was just this awful loneliness.

***********************************

Meanwhile, his wife was doing exactly what he knew she would be. She was lying on the narrow divan in between the sleeping babies cots, tears streaming down her eyes, even as she swallowed her sobs.

Yes, she had known about his past when she married him, but every time something from his past came up, it renewed all her old insecurities, her fears. He had been with so many women before her. She tried not to think about it, tried not to think how she compared to them, whether he judged her and found her wanting. And for the most part, she didn't think about it. For the most part, she was secure in his undoubted love, happy in their little world with their family. But it was hard not to think, it was hard not to be insecure, when his past was a beautiful famous woman like Gina Shah, and when she had thrown herself into their lives like this. And Gina wanted him back. How long could he resist her? She was so beautiful, a superstar. Would her husband succumb? How could she, Dr Ishita Bhalla, compete with the Queen of Bollywood, India's sweetheart?

Raman always told her she had nothing to fear, that there was not and never would be any other woman for him. And she knew he loved her. But was love enough? Was love enough without trust? Was love enough when so many lies were spoken, when the truth was hidden?

She knew that he despaired at her insecurities, and so she tried to hide them from him. It was not his fault after all. This insecurity stemmed from the blows life had given her even before she had met him. Subbu had dumped her without a second thought after 12 years. She had spent her teenage years and her twenties with Subbu. Had dreamed of a future with him. Had never imagined a future without him. And it had taken mere minutes of persuasion from his mother for him to decide that she was not important to his life. And if Subbu could dump her after 12 years, then by comparison, her relationship with Raman was still so new.

Raman wasn't Subbu. She knew that. But his past scared her. And that past included Gina Shah. How could any man resist Gina Shah? She could not understand his casual attitude to sex, to physical intimacy. For her, her relationship with her husband was sacred, an extension of the absolute love and trust that she held for him, but what did he feel? How could she ever be sure?

Ishita loved her husband with a possessiveness that sometimes still shocked her. The thought of him with another woman, with Gina, made her physically sick. Just what was she to do? Just how could she deal with this? And how was she to get through this week? She couldn't let her children down, she would have to act normal. But what if she had to meet that woman? What would she do?

She wiped her tears, trying to close her eyes, trying to sleep. She wished she could do what Raman would be doing now, drinking a glass of neat whisky, drowning his tears in the oblivion of alcohol. She missed him so much, she had so been looking forward to being with him in Fiji, to being held in his arms again. Instead, there was just this awful loneliness.

And so the night passed....

Hum bewafa hargiz na theh
Par hum wafa kar naa sake
Humko mili uski sazaa
Hum jo khata kar naa sake
Hum bewafa hargiz na theh
Par hum wafa kar naa sake
Humko mili uski sazaa
Hum jo khata kar naa sake
Hum bewafa hargiz na theh
Par hum wafa kar naa sake.......

Kitni akeli thi woh rahen hum jinpe
Ab tak akele chalte rahen
Tujhse bichhad ke bhi o bekhabar
Tere hi gham mein jalte rahen
Tune kiya jo shikwa
Hum woh gila kar naa sake
Hum bewafa hargiz na theh
Par hum wafaaa kar naa sake ...

Tumne jo dekha suna sach tha magar
Itna tha sach yeh kisko pataa
Jaane tumhe maine koi dhokha diya
Jaane tumhe koi dhokha hua
Is pyaar mein sach jhooth kaa
Tum faisla kar naa sake
Hum bewafa hargiz na theh..he he
Par hum wafa kar naa sake

"